[There was a paper wrapped package on the door step of Richard's house, or perhaps Whitey had been the best boy and brought it home. Either way, a light package arrived with a single hand-written note attached to it.]
These should be more comfortable to wear. Don't let me catch you in the poor excuse you've been using again. Your secret remains safe with me.
-S.
[Inside the package can be found two items (colour is your choice) of one strapless and with straps. Don't worry, he owns the tailor, so he can commission more or have alterations done.]
[Towards the end of the week, it's gotten more and more difficult for the Gnosia and their followers. People begin piecing together what's happening, suspicions abound. Gnosia are 'cured', according to those who stand against their progress, and repeatedly people try to find ways to keep their followers from action.
And so more and more he's out at those twilight times of day. Just before the sun rises, when those who operate at night are winding down and those who wake still aren't quite out. It means it's harder to find more tribute for Dara... but it also means there's far less likely of a chance to be interrupted.
The bars closed hours ago, he knows better than to try stalking the entertainment district at this time. Instead he's out closer to the water. Boats and crates and equipment provide ample obstacles and breaks in line of sight, and fishing is one of those hobbies or jobs that tends to begin far sooner than any of the others. He just has to wait for likely prey to show up.
--Though the footsteps he hears on the wooden docks don't sound quite like what he'd expect. They're sharp and evenly paced- like someone who knows exactly where they're heading, but isn't casual about it. They're like a hunter's. And maybe that's what draws him to stand up straight from where he'd been leaning against one of the massive containers, curiosity overtaking caution to investigate who else would be stalking the same prey grounds.
A gnosia, maybe? Another follower like himself? Or perhaps someone determined to 'cure' them, and taking a decidedly more aggressive approach about it than most.
Richard's face is only half-familiar. Once he's seen, probably, but not quite committed to memory. But the aura is decidedly one of a gnosia, and Shinjiro relaxes slightly at that, breathing out a faint relief.]
[The docks are known to be the area of the petty criminals. Full of swarms of the miscreants and unwanted. So, clearly and optimal spot for hunting. He has long time ago already forsaken the idea of honor and grace, not caring anymore who crosses his path. The world had been covered in a black veil, covering every inch of light underneath it. The only color that Richard could make out through the darkness was none other than red.
Richard stalks the area next to water, listening the subtle waves licking against the hard stony pavement and pushing small boats against the wooden structures. There is calmness in his heart, the drums of war having quieted down. It's fine. It's not like he is heading towards the blood filled battlefield. No, he is currently in the forest, moving quietly in the shades of the tree looking for his next prey.
And oh, look at that. There's one lurking around the containers, stepping right into his vision.
The mismatched eyes looks Shinjiro up and down, sizing him up with his eyes. And just like the younger man, Richard could tell that he had seen him before. But unfortunately the memory that surfaces to his mind is not their brief conversation on the network all those months ago. No. It is much more fresh and recent. One where he saw the man serve someone else. Another Gnosia.]
[Richard is right- Shinjiro had been serving others. Assisting most Gnosia he'd encountered and could, which was likely bad anough. But he'd been serving Dara as though she were his own personal sovereign and god. Always the priority, and with the most attention and fealty paid.
Even now, that was who he had in mind while out here hunting, and considering ways to lure people to her. But clearly his idea wasn't particularly unique.
Still, his stance is easy as Richard regards him. Unthreatened, despite the asymmetrical glances up and down. It's been harder for hunters to hunt-- of course a gnosia would be wary. And so he lifts a hand.]
His breath was quickened from excitement as they reached his desk, and he used Richard's distraction of staring at his face and his blue eyes to begin to open the younger man's clothing with jerking motions. His skin felt hot and flushed, loose strands of hair clinging to his forehead and the nape of his neck from the blood. If he had an extra hand, he might even consider pulling the tie from his hair to let it fall down, but that would mean taking his hands off Richard and that wasn't happening.
He paused as he was pushed backwards, performing a little hop to set his ass on the desk fully before he was eased to lay back. He shifted his shoulders to find a comfortable spot as Richard vaulted up onto his hips. He helped but mostly he returned to pulling open Richard's bloodstained top so he could work open the binder.
"Kiss me," he demanded hotly and rolled his hips under Richard's ass. Already, his pants felt tight from his arousal, but his focus was on those lips and getting them on his.
It truly was lucky that for once Richard had actually taken into consideration their agreed activities when choosing his outfit. Instead of the usual leather that clung to his body like a second skin, he had worn dark, loose shirt. It didn't take much effort from Silco to tug the strings and buttons on the front open, exposing the white binder flattening his chest. Some of the blood had trailed down along the collar of his shirt, staining the edges of the white cloth in dried red.
Narrowing his eyes, Richard cast a hungry look at the man underneath him. He kept his palm pressed down on the other's chest, keeping him down while the other one still griped on the knife. Richard slowly licked his top-lip and shook his head.
"No." He answered to the demand, voice full of authority. His poise did not even shake when Silco rolled his hips, briefly pressing his hardness against Richard's ass, sending a sharp jolt of electricity through his spine. A pleasurable pool of heat began to stir in his guts.
Richard mimicked Silco's movement, rolling his own hips and rocking them back and forth. Creating the friction between their bodies and making sure to lean against the hardness inside Silco's pants.
Silco had experience removing binders, and considering he was the one that had ordered them, he knew he could work them open easily enough. He started at the bottom with each interlocking hook, working it open with both hands and adding extra smears of blood to the white material. If anything the staining added to the aesthetic they were both wearing at present.
So intent he was on being able to get his hands on Richard's body that he didn't care about the restraining hand on his chest. He frankly didn't care if he was mostly clothed for this, so it went off of his radar for the moment.
However, he did immediately notice when Richard refused him. His fingers paused on the next hook, and his eyes flicked up from his work to Richard's face. It took his mind a few second to catch up to the refusal, both not used to it and not certain he had heard correctly. His own blue eyes narrowed in return, matching Richard's hungry look. "No? Do I need to sit up and take one then?" He was going to get another kiss one way or another.
The challenge of words only helped to drive his arousal higher, his nostrils flaring as his hips continued to roll under Richard's. He was already hyper-focused on the younger man, now making mental calculations if he had the strength from laying on the desk to flip their positions.
Introduction to binders had truly been a life changing event for Richard. Before it he had spent his entire life relying on wrapping made out of bandages or similar cloth, which had left him with immense discomfort around his body and pain around his chest and back as the oppressive pressure forced his flesh flat. With the binder he finally found himself with ability to breathe and move at ease, as the elastic material moved along with his body.
But still, pressure was still pressure. So, with each unhooked clip he found the air moving more freely within his body, the tension on his shoulders slowly fading away as the support provided by the clothing loosened around his chest.
With Silco's counter the corners of Richard's lips curl upwards, tugging the expression on his face to more mischievous one. He halted his hip movements and slightly leaned forward. But not to kiss, no. Instead he slid his fingers up along Silco's collar, reaching all the way to his throat, the slender digits loosely wrapping around it.
"You can try." The words are spoken with husky and airy voice, making it clear that it is not a threat but in fact a dare.
He knew that look, or at least he liked to think that he did. What a tease... which he didn't mind, especially as he experienced shudder of heat in his belly at the continued refusal neatly packaged in a dare. He growled low in his throat, letting that hand of Richard's feel it at a similar time that it would be heard.
His fingers returned to work opening the last third of hooks to the binder, working meticulously as if he were using the time to plot out how to get his mouth on Richard's. As he completed his intended bit of undressing, he shifted his legs so that he could hook his heels on the edge of the desk, thighs nudging Richard's ass forward a bit. It meant he had the ability to twist his hips to dislodge Richard (unlikely), switching who was on top (maybe), or launch Richard forward towards his mouth (also maybe).
"Such a tease... challenge accepted," he purred as he lifted his head so that he could push against that the younger man's hand on his throat, testing how serious Richard was about keeping him flat on his back. His own hands slid up Richard's loose cotton shirt to grasp and massage the younger man's breasts. He'd get what he wanted eventually....
Richard can feel the growl vibrating in Silco's throat against his concealed fingers. Curiously, he strokes the older man's Adam's apple with his index finger while adding a subtle pressure to provide some sense of discomfort and restriction. It's not in Richard's intention to choke the other, not really, but to add thrill of danger and establish a control. Though, it is interrupted when body underneath him shifts.
Silco somewhat succeeds with his plans, managing to slide him forward on his lap. To avoid from completely flopping on top of the other Richard places his elbow right next To Silco's head, supporting the weight of his upper body on it. His now freed breasts bounces a little along with the movement, pressing further into the bloodied hands grasping on the soft mounds.
Despite the skin on his chest not being particularly sensitive, after being subjected the years of pressure and constant irritation, the gesture is still enough to make a sharp shock of electricity to run through his spine. Setting warm pool of excitement in his abdomen as the blood begins to gather between his legs.
After being choked to death two months ago, Silco twitched at the pressure and his breathing sharpened. A sense of danger bled into his body language, but he mentally focused on the person rather than the touch, trusting Richard not to push that agenda too far. He pressed into the hand to show both willingness to trust the teasing and give Richard a challenge for control.
He bared his teeth like a feral animal, digging his heels further into the desk to establish some control. It was difficult because he was at the end of the desk and his legs were long, but his success to push Richard forward was considered a win in his books. He found himself staring up into an equally bloodied face and strained against the hand on his neck to try to brush their lips together by lifting his head.
His hands stroked and massaged Richard's breasts, taking time to feel the weight of them against this palms. He tugged gently on both nipples, letting them harden for his efforts. He had never cared one way or another for breasts, but Richard's were special, basically forbidden and a key part of the younger man's self-hatred so he always took time to touch and feel them, to welcome them as a part of Richard's mismatched body that he was never repulsed by.
Soon his hands slid south, slicing over smooth skin and hardened muscle that spoke of Richard's fitness before he found the ties of the younger man's trousers. He began to open them and stroked a hand down the front, teasing. "Have you ever done this covered in the blood of a kill?"
For better or worse, Richard isn't exactly the most considerate nor aware lover. Not despite his own troubled past and experiences. Or maybe it is because of those traumas and inability to cope or deal properly, always just pushing through them while gritting his teeth and shielding his hurt, that he expects others do the same. So, while he is well aware of Silco's recent meeting with brutal death it's not on his mind right now. He allows his lover to reach up and capture his lips with his own to a kiss. But only briefly so, as he adds more pressure on the hand gripping around Silco's throat as he forces him back down. A teasing smirk decorating his own pink wet lips.
The rough hands and strong fingers feels almost ticklish against the soft flesh of his breasts. The shifting weight and heat makes him shudder in pleasure, skin raising to small goosebumps. Richard closes his eyes and let's out a quiet, low moan. His own arousal is growing only more evident along with his hunger for more.
It's almost disappointing when the hands moves on from his chest, leaving his breasts alone and lonely for more contact. But the only reason he won't try push himself down to get more of the friction is because he knows where this is going. Bending his back in flexible curve Richard raises his hips up, giving Silco more room to work his trousers open.
The kiss may have been brief, but it was what he had demanded and that had been met now. He allowed Richard's hand to force his head back down to the desk by the hold on his throat, and his pulse had definitely quickened with the continued grip. Not tight enough to be a concern but still present enough to divide his attention. He flexed his hips under Richard's weight at that smirk.
With the assistance, he worked Richard's trousers open and reached around back to pull the down part way the younger man's thighs before their position wouldn't allow any further. He raised his eyebrows at the admittance, expending valuable focus on trying to figure it out - god being horny and a young adult could be annoying. "Your own blood? How badly were you injured?"
His hands gripped Richard's ass before sliding up the back of the younger man's shirt and the loose binder. They stroked back around front so he could take Richard's breasts back into his hands to play with them as he rocked his hips again and his legs eased down to hang off of his desk again now that his goal of a kiss had been achieved and he didn't yet need to flip their positions.
With his eyes closed Richard's whole attention was focused just on the feeling of hands sliding down his thin frame. His body shivered when Silco's hands managed to undo his trousers, pulling them down and revealing his behind to the cool air. He was already wet and hard, slick glistering between his thighs.
Richard bucks his hips back, trying to meet Silco's hands before they wander back up, finding their place once again against his breasts. The question, however, made Richard to open his eyes again. The different colored pearls looking beneath the hooded eyelids and long dark lashes. He then slides his body forward a little as he sits up on Silco's waist, not wanting to create too much of distance.
"Here," he says and finally let's go of the other's throat, bringing his fingers to grace over the almost healed round wound on his left shoulder. "An assassin with poor aim made an attempt on my life. The arrow didn't go far in, but the ones behind the attack had drugged my drink priorly." It had been during Edward's brat's ridiculous coronation banquet. The most crucial day for his cause and claim for the crown, and he was ready to risk it all.
He peered up at the younger man, his thumbs stroking over hardened nipples between rolling the soft flesh under his palms. He always enjoyed the revelation of those two coloured eyes, matching the mismatched nature of Richard's body. It was intriguing and unique and he found that attractive.
With the hand removed from his throat, he set his heels to back support of the desk and used them to slowly sit up as Richard explained the wound in question. He leaned in to brush his lips over those fingers as he slid his arms around Richard's frame to hold the younger man closer at point of their abdomens. His mouth searched for and kissed that wound, the scar tissue pink and no doubt a bit sensitive.
"And you decided such a wound wasn't serious enough to hold off partaking in sex?" The idea of Richard being a bit of a masochist did amuse him. He rolled his hips up to meet their unison making contact between their legs despite his own trousers being in place. It was starting to get uncomfortably tight.
Richard moved his fingers out of the way when Silco sat up and craned his neck up to press lips against the pink scar on his shoulder. The kiss sent another pleasurable jolt of faint electricity down his spine, making him shudder a little. His own blood-stained fingers travel to back of the other one's head, tangling in the long hair and pulling lightly from the dark strands. The pull is hardly a strong enough to hurt, but definitely makes the hair tie come loose.
He huffs out a amused scoff. Or at least tries to as the voice comes off strained, thick with underlying pleasure and want. It is a little awkward to be like this. Straddling the other with his body being partially bare, trying to catch as much stimulation and friction as he could, following Silco's movements and thrusting his hips.
"It did not happen immediately, ah, after it," Richard responds and throws his head back as he places his weight on top of his knees -- lifting himself up a bit to buck his body against Silcos, "I had to deal with traitors. And had to tie up loose ends. The most of bleeding had stopped by then." But it does not erase the fact that he was still injured when he and Buckingham had withdrawn to chapel. Pretending to be concerned about the state of the royal family and the fate of young heirs they had just imprisoned a moments prior.
Richard can feel the hot hardness underneath him press against his lower body along with their movements, causing his own erection stiffen between their bodies. "Silco.." He moans, rocking himself against the other one with more vigor.
He shivered as his hair was tugged, the electricity of it running down his spine and followed by the caress of his hair on his ears and the back of his neck as it began to come loose from the tie. He added a second kiss to the tender scar, tracing it with the tip of his tongue as he listened to the tale of going from injury to intimacy. So not as spontaneous as their own current endeavor.
The scent of death was permeating the room, intoxicating him with the sensation of revenge and brutality complete. His mouth moved to find Richard's smooth column of neck as his arms remained tight around the younger man's middle, yet they began to loosen as the pressing desires of the situation and the awkwardness of their positions forced him to change tactics.
"Did you kill all the traitors? Did you take something precious from them in revenge?"
He shifted, sliding them towards the edge of the desk so he could ease Richard off of him. "Pants off," he said between his mouth moving down to the curve of Richard's shoulder as his hands withdrew so he could work open his own trousers. There was at least some relief with the tension of fabric loosening. Of course, he didn't want Richard to be too far away nor for too long. It was dependence though it had a lot to do with the mood.
There hadn't exactly been a possibility for them to indulge in the passions right on the spot. It had been yet another close to death experience to Richard, even if one he had been prepared to face. Despite the arrow not sinking too deep there was still the drug in his system, making him lose focus and world swirl around him as he lost the track of what was real and what was not. Richard had even seen Henry.
The memory of the spirit that had appeared in front of him in the misty forest makes Richard choke for a moment. For a brief beat his body grows cold from the inside, threatening freeze out anything on its way and make him grow numb. He almost forgets about the heat of the other body pressing on him. But it's the question that demands his attention back to the present.
"No, I--", he sighs, fingers unknowingly tightening around the knife's handle. Richard then swallows air and leans his head back forward, seeking the skin on Silco's forehead with his lips. "I stole the hope from them." And not just from the brat princes but their cunning mother. Damning the entire Woodville bloodline.
He almost didn't notice being suddenly slid off the man's lap. And honestly, it is good thing that Silco states the reason for it, no matter how brief it is, as Richard could already feel a small seeds of doubt and confusion being rooted in the back of his mind. His free hand slides from the back of Silco's neck to the front of his shirt, palm pressed flat as if he tried to keep the other man from running away. Once Silco's done with unfastening his trousers Richard doesn't waste a moment before pushing back in, leaning himself against the taller man with his neck craned up as he seeks for a kiss.
Thankfully being in a young body had not altered many of his perceptions of the mind, and he noted the way that Richard stiffened with tension, eyes flicking to the subtle motion of the knife indicating a tightening grip. His head moved forward in response to Richard doing so, letting their temples touch, and he expelled an audible breath. It was moments like these that he appreciated they had found each other and able to exist as the people put in the position to perform terrible action. "Something precious indeed... a terrible fate for all enemies but one deserved."
He pushed his pants off of his hips to his knees, knocking off one shoe to remove a single leg before unwilling to go further. Of course, while he was leaned over, he repeated the gesture with Richard, allowing them both freedom of movement. He noted the hand, blue eyes watching the younger man as he rose from leaning into that hand.
He welcome Richard in between his legs and obliged questing for a kiss, his mouth hot and demanding with tongue caressing Richard's lips and tasting the continued subtle tang of blood there. One hand dropped to grasp his lover's cock, stroking and gently massaging as he hooked his heel around the back of Richard's knee to hold the younger man close to him. His other hand found one of Richard's breasts to enjoy the feel of it under his palm again.
Between kisses, he made his desire irrefutable as he murmured, "I want you, Richard."
The kiss between them tastes salty and metallic, creating a stark contrast to the softness of their lips and tongues that kept meeting in the hungry kiss. It almost felt like he was trying to pay back for the one that he had previously denied Silco mere a moments ago. The aftermath of the death that still lingered thick in the room worked only as a booster for Richard, making him more eager and desperate for more. The adrenaline rushes through his veins, heating up his body -- pushing him forward.
The hand reaching down between his legs stroke his erection does draw a high pitched whimper out of Richard. Closing his eyes he continues to whine and moan against Silco's mouth. His body felt like a hot, soft mold for the other man to manipulate and shape to his liking, making Richard respond to each caress and touch.
It does take some self-restrain from him to break the kiss and pull away so that he could once again look into Silco's now perfect blue eyes. "I want that," he begins, voice heavy and thick from arousal and desire. He moves his hand from between their bodies up to cup the other man's cheek, thumb brushing over his wet lips. "--That fury of yours. I want to feel it in my body."
By now, the flecks and spatters of blood had dried on his skin and was starting to create little itchy spots as he moved around. It was lucky for him that they were stripping most of their clothing off where the cooling blood would smear against their skin if left unattended. His breath remained quickened and his kisses were gaining an edge to them that he hardly allowed himself normally.
His lips were reddened and a bit swollen from the rough pressure of their kisses, slightly parted as he watched Richard. His hand continued to stroke the younger man's cock even as he tipped his face into that hand, both eyes half closing at the dichotomy of gentle and sharpness of their motions with each other. "...do you?" It was almost a whisper; he kept a firm hold of his temper and his lust for violence much of the time.
His hand dropped away from his lover's cock so he had both hand to seize the back of Richard's thighs to lift the younger man up as he twisted around so he could slam Richard down on his desk. It was less rough and more uncontrolled with his eagerness, but he filled the space as he leaned over his lover and lowered his head so he could add sharp nips with misaligned front teeth followed by a purposeful hickey right on Richard's clean shoulder where it could be easily hidden but they'd both know it was there.
Ever since the first time they had fallen in the bed together and when Silco had dismissed the idea of introducing the pain into the sex Richard had stayed quiet about it, not making anymore similar requests. Instead he had just silently agreed to follow the other man's lead as they learned about each others' bodies, finding new aspects and turns of them night after a night. But tonight was not about calm and and modest introductions, no.
Tonight was all about the monster that lurked behind their calm and calculating exteriors. The ruthlessness violence, nearly animalistic passion, the burning rage. Ricard had seen all those just a moments ago when Silco had lunged at the intruder, sharp knife flashing in the air and painting their little world red. The other man had enjoyed the power, Richard could tell. And well, it wasn't like he hadn't enjoyed watching the other man to let go and true his true colors. If anything witnessing that had awoken the hunger within Richard, wanting to see more of that monster. To feel it.
The grab and switch happens so quickly. Richard barely gets to let a sound out before he feels his back being hit against the sturdy wooden desk. But despite the swiftness of it, Richard doesn't waste a moment to bend his knees so that he can find support with the sole of his feet, carefully pushing himself further up on the desk.
"--Ngh," A strangled sound escaped from Richard's throat Silco's teeth latched on the tender skin on his shoulder, the sharp and hard edges pulling on his flesh. The bite stings ever so pleasantly and send sharp electric shock down his spin, making his nipples harden even more.
His bare tights press against the other man's frame and the free hand reaches to grab and pull on Silco's long black hair as he cages their bodies together. Fingers in his other hand finally loosen the grip around the knife's handle -- allowing the weapon to slip from his hold. For a brief moment he wonders if Silco was bold enough to bite hard enough to draw blood.
He valued control a lot more as he aged compared to when he had been the physical age he was currently. He spent a lifetime being called a monster on some level or another, and sometimes he even let the monster out. Today happened to be that day, the affront of Chem-Barons claiming to what was his just a push too far. It wasn't often, but it felt good to let loose in the moment; very few people encouraged it for fear of what it would bring to them in comparison to his calm viciousness.
And if he expected Richard to rescind the request for roughness after their switch, he was dead wrong. If anything, he picked up on and fed on the thrill that seemed to come from the younger man underneath him. He shuddered with his own excitement, so used to a strangle hold of control that it felt unusually freeing for it to be encouraged.
Richard had requested their first time, but they hadn't known their preferences or each other on that level well. As the younger man hadn't brought it up again, he had expected the request to have been a curious short-lived one. Perhaps it was time to revisit that, not that they were overly gentle or cautious with each other in bed, but it wasn't as forceful and animalistic as this.
One hand slid up the underside of Richard's thigh, applying pressure to lift it from where Richard was using the desk for support so he could instead put that long muscular limb over one of his shoulders. He shuddered at the pull to his hair, more coming free from the tie so it dropped against his neck and cheeks as he mouthed on the mark that he left to make it more vivid and large against Richard's pale skin. He absently aware aware of the knife clattering to the floor, dangerously close to his bare foot and if anything, that just heightened the excitement as his world narrowed to this mouth.
He moved to catch Richard's mouth, and he tried to take firm control of the younger man's mouth like he wanted to hurt his lover's tonsils with his tongue. His blunt nails dug into the flesh of Richard's thigh that he was holding over his shoulder as he ground his cock against his lover's ass and vagina. His other arm moved to support himself on the desk, fingers tangling in Richard's dark hair and giving return tugs to the locks as he tested boundaries of how rough the other man wanted it.
Well, if Silco is trying to gauge out Richard's limits and tolerance for rough hands and pain he will find that there's still a lot to go. But as for now, he responds to each bite, touch and stimulation. His body jerks and twitches under Silco, leg raising and bending effortlessly behind the other man's shoulder. The shift does put him in a position that brings somewhat more challenge for Richard to uphold as his lower body was lifted partially up now. Not that he minded - it was the opposite actually, as the added pressure and strain only heightening the feeling of heated urgency.
With the other, bigger body looming over him overwhelmingly, pressing him down against the desk, leaves Richard with limited amount of space to move. So, when the mouth descends upon him all he can do is surrender and try follow the other one's lead. The kiss is rough and passionate, sucking and swallowing any stray moans and other sounds that might escape from Richard's throat.
The intensity of the kiss along with the hungry and calloused hands pulling and squeezing him, works as oil to the fire within him, sparking the flames ablaze inside his guts and feeding the arousal even further. The wetness in his groin was now obvious, the cock rubbing against his folds and nether region, spreading the slick with each thrust. The motion is almost maddening, constantly teasing him of what's to come while witholding the initial push.
In a small moment of rebellion, however, Richard tangles fingers in Silco's hair and bites down on the tender muscle invading his mouth. Not to seriously hurt or to draw blood, of course, but hopefully hard enough to give the other one a startle. There was confidence in Richard's eyes, signing a challenge his partner. He might be the one pinned down but it didn't mean he was completely at his mercy.
The situation did seem to be slipping well beyond what was required for control here. If anything, that they had specks of blood and two dead bodies in the room only heightened his arousal. While he hadn't been expecting a protest given the request, he was pleased that Richard gave as good as the younger man received as things escalated.
Of course, being taller and larger did have advantages that he rarely took for his own, normally because he surrounded himself in people who were even taller and larger than himself. Richard was no damsel, as proven when his hair was taken in hand and tongue bitten. It earned a low growl of pleasure from him, even if he knew he could lose control of his head if he wanted to keep his hair. He'd give Richard that.
His blue eyes were dark and stormy with challenge and arousal, and he scraped his nails down Richard's milky thigh with its little scars from life in combat and training. His hand dropped away at the curve of Richard's hip so he could take his erection in hand to guide himself into position. His initial thrust may have been a touch harder than usual, but being in that wet familiar heat of his lover's body bled tension from his shoulders. Like he wanted to be no where else but here and now.
He withdrew his tongue and then his mouth as he pushed his cock deeper, wanting Richard to hear the noises that escaped his throat. His hand returned to holding that thigh over his shoulder as he stood, dragging Richard up with him to see how the younger man reacted.
The blunt nails scraping along the rough edges of the already healed faint scar sends almost ticklish shivers down Richard's spine. The nerves running close to the surface of his skin twitch, making his body jerk and spasm lightly. Removing his hand from the other man's hair he let it to slide down to cup his cheek. The long and slender finger spread like spider web, blindly feeling the very familiar yet still so different facial structure beneath his touch. The shape and the frame was right, but the lack of wrinkles brought by the age and the rough, jagged scar tissue that deformed the otherwise perfect face. Feeling it was both unnerving and exciting at the same time.
A strangled noise escapes from him, the sound drowning in the wet kiss, when he feels himself being pierced by the other's erection. Despite him being soaked with arousal some force is still needed for the push to breach him. The stretch burns slightly around Richard's walls and he finds himself holding his breath until Silco's fully sheathed in, filling him to the brim.
Needlessly to say, it is a tight fit but hardly anything that Richard couldn't handle. If anything, the hotness of the burn keeps him tied into the present and focus attached to the pressing sensations in his body. His walls twitch and clenches around Silco, as if to try pull him deeper.
And when the mouth finally moves from him, Richard exhales deeply before his breath picks up the pace, air moving quickly in and out of him and pushing his chest up and down. But there wasn't much time for him to adjust his breathing before he felt their bodies to shift as they changed their positions yet again. Richard lets out a quiet yelp, bringing his injured to grasp on Silco's shoulder while the other one stayed against the desk -- trying to work as support.
"Yes," Richard's voice is heavy and hushed as he tries to catch his breath. There's a clear hue of arousal and excitement in Richard's flushed eyes as he peers beneath his damp dark curls. "That's it, Silco."
A shudder ran the length of him as he sank into that tight heat, and he was reminded as he always was each time they fell into one another's embrace that Richard was the best of both worlds regardless of how the younger man felt. His attraction had only steadily increased the more that he had been allowed to explore this body, and he marveled that Richard had come to trust him this much. They enjoyed themselves, and there was so much to learn about Richard.
He paused to give them both a few seconds to adjust to being linked physically, a low moan slipping passed his lips as those walls grasped his cock. With the angle changing as he lifted Richard's hips, he provided a few small experimental thrusts of his hips, working his lover open and wetter with the stimulation. Of course, being this new age came with race-to-the-finish-line urging, which he held in check.
He turned his face so he could nip and suck another mark into the pale skin of Richard's thigh over his shoulder, scraping with his front teeth. His fingers tugged lightly the hair in his grip as Richard had done him previously as he shifted focus to thrusting in and out of his lover's body. His pace was slow and gentle at first, but quicker than usual, it built to hard and fast like a rutting animal.
"I want to watch you come undone," he growled low in his throat, voice smooth but breathy. "Let the monster out with me, Richard."
An involuntary, strangled gasp climbs its way up through Richard's throat when the sharp teeth sank into the soft and tender flesh on his thigh. The area is much more sensitive than the collar where Silco had bit him before, dragging series of whimpers from his lips as his breathing turns more ragged. The beads of swear had begun to form on Richard's skin, running down his back. And as Silco kept picking up the pace, thrusting into him with rabid vigor, he could feel the flame blazing within his core, the heat spreading all around his body. It settles to his bones and muscles, making him spasm as the warmth tried to push through his skin, looking for an exit.
And Richard could tell that wasn't just the heat that was trying to escape from him.
Richard's eyes flutter shut when he feels few thrusts accidentally brush against the bundle of nerves inside him, making him spill the faint droplets of precum. He throws his head as much the grip on his hair allows him to, stretching his neck backwards as he surrendered to the pleasure that was coming to him from everywhere.
The strain on his muscles as his body was pulled and pushed into more challenging position all while being rocked back and forth. The roughness of Silco's hands and snap of hips, relentlessly preventing his mind to wander anywhere else than the melting heat spreading him apart. The voice calling out to him and tempting him to let go. All of it worked to build Richard towards the climax. But it wasn't enough. Something was missing.
Forcing his eyes open, Richard moved his hand that was gripping on Silco's shoulder. He brought the trembling hand over the other man's face, covering the now healthier side to imitate the man's usual appearance.
He had fallen into Richard's wished, tempted to letting go as he hadn't particularly allowed himself in the past. His thrusts were desperate and seeking, wanting to bring them both pleasure and the angle helped with that. He could feel Richard responding under him, the heat and wet of that body welcoming his cock upon each thrust and withdrawal.
He could simply enjoy the blood-lust induced passions to completion, and yet, he found himself startled out of his rhythm when it felt sudden that a hand covered half of his face. His rhythm stuttered of course, and he nearly jerked away from the hand until the word 'better' filtered to the ten percent of his brain that was actually functioning beyond bodily instincts.
He exhaled a heated breath, shuddering at the meaning sunk in. Richard... liked his scar? The marred mark of a past near death experience he couldn't escape as an adult, the deep rot that was held at bay because of the administration of Shimmer routinely. He closed his blue eyes and then leaned into that hand. The scar gave him his Zaun nickname from the shadows, but this... felt different. It made him feel warm and accepted, made this young body less worth it.
His hand withdrew from Richard's hair, sliding down to cup and massage a breast before easing down further until he could grasp his lover's cock. It took him a few thrusts to find his rhythm again, but it did return and he timed his thrusting with the stroke of Richard's cock, catching precum on his fingers and using it as a lubricant as he pushed his face even harder into that palm.
The gesture was almost the opposite that Richard had received from both of his lovers. Both Buckingham and Silco had brushed his hair aside, revealing his differentiating to urge Richard to come out from hiding and embrace himself. But the act of covering the healthy side of Silco's face hid similar sentiment behind it.
It had been interesting to see his lover in this form. The young, strong and handsome. It had offered him a glimpse to what the man could have become if he hadn't met the with the betrayal. Maybe he could've been spared from some of the darkness in his soul if he wasn't forced to carry such stigmatizing mark on his body. But that wasn't the Silco that Richard knows and who he had opened his body to. Richard preferred that form over this one, beauty be damned.
Richard's cocked to side when his hair was released and giving him room for more movement. He closes his eyes again and shudders when the hot hand slides down his body, moving the weight on his chest along with the rhythm of his thrusting. When the fingers moved down to curl around his own erection he bucks his hips forward and arches his back, his muscles taut like a violin string. With the added attention on such sensitive member, along with the constant stimulation pushing on his nerves, it didn't take long until Richard could feel the fire explode in his body. Parting his red, flushed lips Richard let out a quiet cry and moved his own hand to grab on the back of Silco's neck as he felt the spark inside him urge the orgasm out of him.
Silco realized very early on when they rolled in the sheets together that Richard was easy to please; there was both a lack of a experience and extra points for stimulation that made the younger man almost easy to drive towards orgasm. This time was no different of course, though perhaps both of them were riding a bit too high from their antics earlier with the Chem-Barons.
He did not stop watching Richard as the younger man arched and moved on his desk, papers clinging to that pale skin. The uncovered eye watched the bounce of Richard's breasts with each thrust, sweat creating a sheen on the both of them as they found that unified pace as they chased down their orgasms together. He pressed his face more against that warm hand, one that had caused death right along with his own.
His thrusts sped up, driving for that peak which was rapidly building. He felt and heard Richard careen over the edge of it first, shuddering as those walls clenched on his own cock, which he continued to barrel right along in a messy rutting desperation even as he felt warm spilling over his fingers. The scent of death and blood clung to the back of his throat and nose, layering an element of raw openness.
It probably wasn't right to relish killing like this. Something was likely wrong with him. What else was new though? He and Richard were kindred in that perhaps.
He made a low growling moan as his last few thrusts into that tight heat sent him into his orgasm, and he thrust as deep as he could as it washed over him. He released himself into Richard, shuddering and panting and moaning as he sagged a shoulder to drop his lover's thigh from there so he could lean further to trap Richard against his desk.
Maybe there was indeed something wrong with them both. In Richard's mind there was nothing unusual about this heated desire between them. A lot of men indulged in their passions and lust after a battle and searched a woman to satiate their feverish hunger. Richard, of course, had never partaken in such activity. Not even when Edward would send a prostitute to his rooms without his permission. But he did understand the appeal. There was nothing quite like riding on the high after a fresh kill, adrenaline still rushing the warm blood in their veins.
Blood and sweat, pain and pleasure, death and rebirth. Two sides of the same coin, walking hand in hand.
With a choked sob, Richard grabs hard on Silco's back as they both soar towards the finishing line. The blunt nails scratching the surface of his bare skin, no doubt leaving red marks. It was like the embers within his body were finally set in blaze, burning away the awkward lines of his body, melting him together with the one above of him that was relentlessly thrusting inside. And when Silco reaches his climax, emptying himself in Richard, he swears he can feel the other man's heartbeat as his own.
For a quick second, Richard thinks that he might actually black out here and now. But then he feels his body going lax as the muscles finally relax, leaving him laying boneless and sag against the desk. And when he feels the weight of the other body descending down on him, he immediately pulls his lover closer, lips curling up into a lazy smile.
Let's hope that there wasn't anything too valuable on the desk. Because yeah, Richard might've knocked down some objects during their endeavor.
Who was he to deny the pleasure of sharing this entire moment with another who he didn't think would judge him for it? There were very few people he allowed himself to unleash that anger with unless it was out of his control; even Jinx he was the one in control to offset her chaos. No one had encouraged him quite like Richard and for that, he felt the warmth between them growing.
His back and shoulders rose towards the drag of those nails over his sweat-sheened skin, the burn of it highlighting the edges of his pleasure. He hoped there were welts, maybe even in a little blood to scab in order to remember this unusual moment between them. He coveted this like a secret they could glance at each other in mutual remembrance.
Still, his hand moved from between them as he fell forward on the desk, not caring one bit for the contents that remained and especially not the contents that had fallen off of it. He lay on the younger man, keeping himself buried deep inside of Richard and he dropped his face to nuzzle along the side of his lover's neck and jaw. His chest worked air in and out of his lungs, warm puffs of air against Richard's skin. He peppered a few kisses along his lover's neck for good measure.
"That was... certainly something else." Raw, blissful, animalistic. He didn't deny how good it felt.
'That certainly was something else.' that sure is one way to put it.
Richard, too, was catching his breath, his chest raising heavily with each intake. The kisses along his neck brought him back to the moment, making him slowly aware of his own body again. He stared up at the ceiling with his wide eyes, looking at the colorful patterns drawn on it with his dazed gaze. There's a cramping ache in his thighs and abs, after holding up such straining position while the other man drove inside him.
He had asked Silco to let the monster out and the man sure had provided. It wasn't like Silco was necessarily the most gentle lover out there, which Richard preferred, but this had been more than that. Speechless, he traced the faint claw marks he had left on his partner's back with his fingers. Indulging in the sensation of being full and pinned down in the warmth. The air was thick with the musky odor. The blood, sweat and spent having mixed into each other.
"..Even the pain turns into pleasure." He says eventually, voice low and airy. Yes, that's his estimation of it all. Richard supposes he did understand what the saints meant when they said that pain brought them closer to divine. Or something like that.
But something was missing.
After a silent break, he slid his hands up, bringing them up to cup his lover's face.
He nodded his head at the words, agreeing with Richard on that fact. The sting of the marks on his back intermingled with the ebbing pleasure high that he was slowly descending from. He was in no hurry to move, especially with Richard's fingers moving over the rising welts on his shoulders. Pain and pleasure mingled together, as it should be with such interactions.
He opened both of his blue eyes when his lover's hands cupped his face, peering at the younger man. Hair clung to his sweaty skin, and the hair tye was basically doing nothing, giving him a wilder appearance than usual. His breathing was starting to return to some semblance of normal, and he shifted a small amount.
It took him a few moments to process the words, and he lifted his head from the younger man's hands. "Leaving so soon then?" Well, he supposed he'd have to call the cleaners to put his office into rights again.
There's almost a feverish and dreamy look to Richard's eyes peeking underneath the dark and messy curls. His fingers rub lazily against Silco's cheekbones as he looks right into the disheveled pair of blue eyes. At first he thinks about kissing him, but decides against it in favor of being able to look at him and get drunk on this sweet post coital bliss.
But then Silco moves, prompting Richard to follow in suit. With a silent grunt he props himself to sit up and lean on his elbows. There's a a slight discomfort when he eventually feels Silco to slip outside of him, allowing some of the fluid trickle down his thighs on the table. Yeah. The bodies aren't only one's that Silco needs to call cleanup for.
Oh. And speaking of the bodies?
"No. That's not it." He croaks, placing a reassuring hand on Silco's shoulder. "Get me my shirt."
He stepped backwards and lifted a hand to find and pull at the hairtye that had become almost completely ineffectual. His shoulder-length hair tumbled against his neck, joining most of the strands that were already clinging there by drying sweat. His other hand joined to gather up the loose hair to return it to a state off of his hot skin, but at the same time, his gaze crawled over Richard's nudity.
It was quite the sight, especially the mess they had made together. He'd never had anyone he considered 'claimed' before, and he wasn't a possessive person by nature (or so he liked to think). However, there was something primal and completely sexual of signs of their sex covering their bodies. There was a brief 'we did that', which wasn't unusual in context. They had a sex frequently, but perhaps he hadn't taken the time quite like now where everything came with a hyperfocus before.
He turned his head once his hair was up in a messy bun and stepped away long enough to retrieve Richard's shirt. He grabbed his too for good measure since it was close by the first, and he returned to offer it to his lover. "What are you planning, hmm? We could shower?"
[A walk through the woods is all good for reconnecting with nature...until a river runs red. The vibrant coloring looks like the result of an active murder scene, especially with handfuls of hair and strips of skin floating through it all. Without the any accompanying screams in the distance, maybe someone's trying to dispose of a body.
Dara is all for ritual cleansing with water. In fact, the nearby waterfall is one of her favorite places to meditate and process things. However...the situation is much more extreme than her usual behavior.
With several pumice stones occupying four of her hands, she seems to be scrubbing viciously at her bare skin and scales. Her tail hardly takes a beating, but that can't be said about her upper body. Thick rivulets of blood stream from the self-inflicted wounds from her persistent exfoliation; the god seems to purposely work at sloughing off skin despite it immediately healing back to normal in a few seconds. Practically pristine once she wipes over the spots. Rinse & Repeat. The last two hands pull at her long black hair, gathering it up and slicing through with a knife. Fistfuls of it float down the river, yet every time she seems to chop the majority of it off, it grows back as if nothing happened.
Dissatisfied, Dara's unhappy expression persists while continuing the thorough "cleansing" of her entire exposed body. It's going to take awhile considering the length of her tail still submerged underwater.]
[Well. Richard certainly didn't have a rivers of blood in his bingo-card when he had left for the woods this morning. The sight of red didn't really bother nor surprise him that much, assuming that it must be a case where an animal or one of the monsters have fallen down and gotten injured. However, what catches his attention are the long dark strands of hair floating along the river current, making him to think that this might actually be more serious case than what he had initially thought.
So, driven by both curiosity and mild concern, Richard decides to investigate further, hand gripping tightly around the handle of his bow as he strides forward. From the corner of his eye he can see a very familiar white fur-coat moving in the shade of the bushes. It does seem like Whitey had decided to stalk Richard for this trip to forest. Well, it didn't matter much to him as long as the boar didn't accidentally do anything stupid and get himself in trouble.
Following the bloodied river current it doesn't take too long for Richard to find the source of it all. And just when he arrives close enough for the waterfall to swim to his visions Richard stops on his tracks, freezing still with his breath getting trapped in his lungs. With wide eyes full of disbelief and fear he stares at the sight in front of him.
The woman-- no, the being is like a vision come to alive straight from the old scripts and stories describing the demonic creatures. Something that will come and eat you alive, steal your soul. "That's why you can't go into the woods alone. The terrifying witch will get you," he hears a sharp hiss in the wind, rustling alongside the leaves. Silently, he raises his shaking arm, draws an arrow from his case and places it in its right place. Richard inhales deep through his nostrils, holds the air for a heavy second before letting it out, calming himself down.
Then, with sharp and focused eyes he takes aim, pointing the arrow at the demon's back]
[How unfortunate for Richard that he couldn't control that initial spark of fear. It filters through the air while he regains his composure, and Dara's hands stop for a split second as the arrow is notched. He may be in her blind spot, but she knows someone is there. Nonetheless, the god takes her time to finish peeling off one last layer of skin while simultaneously sheathing the knife. The weapon goes back down her throat.
All during her unbothered movements, Dara debates the real question: what to do TO this person? If he had chosen to make himself known, then this wouldn't have become an issue. It's all poor timing-- her blood is still boiling from Sha-Ming's emotional backstabbing, and while the exfoliation process did help a bit, now she has to deal with this situation. She needs to know what she's dealing with.
With unnatural speed, the curse god practically melts into the water as she sinks herself. The blood, the disturbance of the falls, and the depth of the river provides a good amount of coverage to zip along with the current. It's the illusion of fleeing that allows her to begin the hunt.
Unbeknownst to Richard, miasma begins to permeate through the forest. Invisible and scentless to those without supernatural senses, the spiritual contamination is meant to heighten any fears. Dara intends to observe his reaction from amongst the treetops. It's been quite some time since she has decided to start a haunting.]
[Richard releases the arrow on the instant he sees the demon in front of him move. But it's too slow and the sharp end of the arrow hits the hard stone wall around the waterfall. He does not waste time to draw out another arrow and swiftly sets it in place but alas, it's once again too late as the creature has vanished.
Well. He's full alert now. With his eyes sharp and focused Richard takes a step back, holding his readied bow close to his body. He looks around the surroundings, trying to spot any trace of his prey -- unaware just how much their dynamic had flipped the moment he decides to draw his first arrow.
Because, oh boy. Is he an ideal target for Dara's haunting or what?
Despite managing to get his breathing under the control just a seconds ago, doesn't mean that the paranoia left his mind. No. Because the moment the fear and his demons stir in him and sink their hooks right into his mind, slowly pulling him into the dark depths of his own mind. So, when the miasma began to spread and pollute the air Richard can feel those hooks dig deeper almost immediately, the shy push becoming into a harsh shove.
"Richaaard, Richaard," the previous hissing voice turned into a deep demonic growling, hiding any other sounds underneath it. "Richard. Why did you come here again? What is a demon child looking for?"
Tensing up, Richard whips his head to look up at the sky. The normal blue sky is suddenly covered in the thick black veil and trees grow visibly in his eyes, extending the long and creaky claw-like branches towards him. Richard spins around his heels and releases his arrow into the unknown, desperate to hit something that isn't there. But as the arrow flies off aimlessly through the air, the voice begins to laugh the cackling filling the air.
The ground below Richard's feet opens up, revealing a dark abyss. Several skeletal hands sprout out of the depths to reach up to grab on Richard's body, latching on his limbs and torso, trying to pull him inside.
"Richard, Richard. What are you doing? Come down and join us! You belong in the darkness with us, little changeling. Down here you can dream all you want!"]
N-No! Stop---, [Richard screams as he tries to violently struggle against the constricting hands. He manages to get one of his hands free long enough that he can bring it to grab the hunting knife he keeps strapped against the small of his back. He quickly unsheathes the blade and begins to stab on the hands trying to pull him down into the depths of madness, earning only chorus of laughter for his efforts.
"You belong here with us, Richard! After all, the prophecy---"]
No! Don't! [Richard turns his knife at the ground, sinking it deep into the dirt. His own screams are growing only louder and becoming more desperate, as if he truly was fighting for his life. Well, in his mind he might as well be. While for Dara, or whoever might be around, he only appears to be grouching down on the ground while stabbing the grass.
Honestly, have fun watching struggle and flail?? However, not too far away from the scene there is a pair of small brown eyes staring up at the sky at Dara's direction. Seems like Whitey's on the watch!]
[Dara continues to watch silently from above as the madness breaks out as screams. Not unusual when it comes to her victims. The part that has her raising an eyebrow is that the young man doesn't flee. Typically the average person would be sprinting away-- did she somehow not control the concentration well enough? The way he grabs at his chest is almost similar to when bones are meant to break, but his chest? Usually it's the arms or legs to be targeted first.
...Maybe she shouldn't be surprised that a person who's quick to get stabby tried to also aim an arrow at her.
Richard poses a certain type of mystery with his reaction. The majority of people who stumbled upon her territory were not necessarily the violent OR armed type. Another factor could be that they're from different cultures; two worlds colliding is one thing, but ignoring that, he still pings as a foreigner in her brain. The part of her that thirsts for knowledge wants to experiment. And considering her recent discovery and following mood, Dara gives into that temptation by raising a hand to manipulate more--
Richard should be so thankful for his animal companion. Catching Whitey from the corner of her eye makes the curse god freeze and fully turn her attention to him. Subsequently, the miasma production fades quickly while Dara squints at the boar. Not a sign of aggression! More...confused than anything?]
Why do you look so familiar? [A headtilt as she stares at the pet.] You'd think I would've remembered that I'd seen you before, but I can't place it.
[WHO CARES ABOUT RICHARD WHEN Whitey is so much more interesting!!! Dara slips down from her perch with the giant serpent tail splitting and braiding into leg forms. She certainly isn't going to chase the boar (instead choosing to take a seat on the ground), but she sure is showing her back to Richard again. From the god's perspective, he isn't enough of a threat when he can be driven mad so easily.
Whitey on the other hand is a fun mystery. She has limited ability to communicate with the animals living within her territory, but she hasn't felt the need to try it out here.]
[Yeahh, Richard is not really having good times at this Chilis. He continues to scream and flail on the ground, until his throat is raw and scratchy. Despite the miasma loosening its grip on him the nightmares does not stop plaguing him. The tears gather to the corners of his eyes as he shakes in the ground.
But yeah, Dara is absolutely right. Whitey is definitely more interesting than whatever Richard's going through.]
M-meep! [Whitey lets out a high-pitched noise and quickly ducks underneath the leaves when Dara turns her attention away from Richard to him. Sorry, he is always a forever coward. However, when Dara descents to the ground-level, taking notably less scarier appearance, he finds his courage enough to peek his head underneath the heavy bed of leaves. His pink snout shakes a little as he sniffs the air. There definitely is something very familiar about this lady, he thinks!
Curiously, he carefully steps outside of his hiding place and walks up to Dara.] Meep. [He grunts softly and tilts his head to side. Who knows! You're pretty familiar, lady!]
[It had been a troubling day thanks to both of them enduring Jinx's versions of demandinginformation from both himself and Richard within hours of each other. His day hadn't gotten much better as he weighed his options, and he knew that Jinx wasn't going to stop until she forced one or both of them to admit their association regardless of reassurances.
It was also in that long pondering session that Silco realized how much he was protecting Richard. He was loyal enough to protect and provide benefits to allies, but he had never done so against Jinx before unless it was temporary to protect her as he investigated. But this?
He had come early in the morning hours, slipping in and announcing himself so that Richard had no need to attack him before he had shed his clothing and joined the younger man wordlessly in that bed. He had buried his face against the back of Richard's neck, curled an arm around his lover and willed himself to catch a few hours of sleep before he had to be up and out to upkeep their thin-veiled ruse to the world. What followed was a few winks of sleep between pondering how hard he was going to fight for this, the ability to surrender, to be briefly vulnerable, to have a secret he didn't have to share...
Silco sighed and unwound himself from the warmth of Richard's body and rose to nurse the fire back to life. That done, instead of pacing, he convinced himself back to Richard's bed but remained sitting up watching the flames grow and consume the wood.]
[It really had been trying times for them lately, hadn't it? First the glitches, unwanted quests and visitors as the world around them was falling apart and reality coming off the seams, and now they both had been confronted by suspecting Jinx. And well. Let's say that the girls sudden outburst and accusations hadn't really won any brownie points to her in Richard's mind.
He hadn't really cared for the girl that much the begin with, aside from some mild curiosity, but he had seen the bond between her and Silco and that was something he respected. The closeness of the duo did bring fond memories of his own connection to his now passed father. However, with these recent antics of her that could very well be described as harassment, she had made herself to be an eyesore. And Richard was having hard time keeping himself neutral to her. It actually makes him miss Buckingham and his shameless and cunning mind.
But seeing that he was still alone here, Richard had kept quiet about Jinx's latest attempts to reach out to him. After all, he had said to Silco that he would not require his help when dealing with the daughter. That, and part of him did not wish to create a ripple between the family. Not now, anyway.
Richard had resigned himself to bed when he had seen the message from Silco, curling up in the sheets and trying to catch sleep. It had, of course, been an useless attempt as his mind was wide awake, too occupied by the thoughts and anticipation of knowing that there would soon be another body lying next to him -- unknowingly shielding him from the horrors of his own nightmares and coldness of the isolation. It truly was becoming like with Buckingham, as Richard found himself more and more relying on Silco's presence to be able rest in his own bed.
So, when Silco had arrived and joined him in the bed Richard felt a relief wash over him. He reached to take Silco's hand to his own, sighed deep and allowed his body finally relax as the long wait was finally over. It didn't take long until he found himself falling asleep on the man's arms.
He did not wake to Silco stirring in the bed nor to him getting up and coming back in. In fact, Richard stays in the blissful, dreamless slumber for a while. It is only when the first shy morning lights begin to peek inside from his window, waking up the early birds and inviting them to sing when Richard finally slipped back to consciousness. Slowly blinking his sleepy eyes open he glanced up at Silco and wordlessly moved his injured hand to place it on top of the other's, seeking for connection.]
[Family drama was unfortunately part and parcel of having Jinx as a daughter, as she created numerous disruptions simply with her being. In Zaun, it had been excellent and even worked to allow him to establish himself as he built her up along with his empire. He was so focused on his stranglehold of Zaun and seeking trade routes and people to buy to allow expansion that there had been no time to 'meet' someone.
He had never actually pondered the possibility back in their world, but death then coming here had slowed his life down. He had to work to build his empire back up, and he had less associates to spread his webs out and had to do so personally. And family drama had followed him, but he could deal with that because it was personal for them and an annoyance to him.
Now he was sharing Richard's bed, and he found himself enjoying the younger man's company. Oh he recognized that the Duke was a danger to him both physically and in the future if motivation for ruling took over, but if anything that made what they had even more intriguing. Richard was a strange broken puzzle who somehow found comfort in a monster like him on a different level than he had with others.
He was drawn from his thoughts and his gaze regressed from that thousand mile stare as he felt the younger man stir next to him and a hand on his own. He sighed from his nose and shifted to stretch his shoulders that had stiffened from sitting in one position too long. Then he moved to lay down next to Richard again, pressing his forehead against the younger man's temple.]
We need to talk. It's safe to assume that Jinx is making accusations at you; she's been doing that to me for the last few days. [Good morning with that heavy topic. He closed his blue eye and gave Richard space to wake up now that he had set the stage.] She's... a handful when she's jealous and thinks I have secrets from her. [To say the least.]
[Mind still lazy and numb from night's rest, Richard fails to pick up any tension or other stress indicators in Silco's body language. Exhaling deep through his mouth, he shifts on the mattress a little so that the other man can slide back to lie next to him. With a small, content smile on his lips Richard moves his arm up so that he can gently caress his lover's cheek with his knuckles. Enjoying from this quiet moment that they share in their little private world.
Except then comes the words, bursting the bubble that Richard had built around them through the night. So much for slow and calm morning, huh. His hand stills for a brief second and the expression on his face changes, brows knitting together in a frown and lips pressing together into a thin line. Well, at least he is awake now.
Richard ceases his stroking and pulls his hand away, turning his head to face at the ceiling.]
[He savoured the contact to a cheek that had all of its nerve-endings still intact and functioning. He mused that he had given up sleeping in a bed for decades before Richard, and he had never been much of a close contact person either. He supposed having a barnacle for a bedmate left him with little options, and he slowly warmed up to the idea to keep the younger man content.
Yet, the warm moment was soured with his words, and he wished he could regret them. He couldn't though, aware that he and Richard were wise enough to understand that they had lost control of both their 'secret' and the narrative that went with it. That was dangerous to them both.
He pulled his face away and rolled onto his back so he too could stare at the ceiling. And perhaps to give Richard distance if the younger man would prefer to be away from him.]
I don't know what exactly occurred between the two of you, but it appears she has the same sentiment about you. I have an idea based on the fact that you've openly stated that you're married. [Richard came from a time period that did remind him of the books he read about Piltover's upper class.] It will only grow worse from here. We've lost control of any peace or secrecy we may hope to have about this.
[There was a no way that they could have been spared from having this conversation. It was ought to happen sooner or later, and they both had known about it. Perhaps they both had simply been blinded by the so-called honeymoon phase, indulging in the passion and desires that had been long ignored and denied. Allowing themselves to get lost in the moment of not being alone, that they had simply failed to see the reality approaching them fast in horizon.
However, whether he had been aware of it or not didn't mean that Richard liked having to face it at all. The usual darkness awakens from the back of his mind, calling forth the anxieties that made his heart beat fast and his lungs within his rib cage feel far too tight. But instead of the fear it was irritation that rose to the surface.
Yes. He had mentioned being married. But what else he could have done? Deny Anne? Ridiculous. Especially when there were people present in this world who knew of him and his life. Such lie would be easily caught and trampled. And why should he have to lie about his status. Richard wasn't ashamed of his marriage, or his wife. If anything they both legitimized his status and worth -- working as a shield from piercing rumors and accusations.]
I do not owe her explanation of my actions or the choices I have made. [He says, voice thin and cold. He then sits up on the bed, for once not caring to cover himself.] I have left her alone. It is her who keeps harassing me. If she truly wants to follow me and insult me with her heckles I will not stand by and do nothing. She is no longer a child.
[The shift in Richard's mood was obvious, and he mused that both his lover and his daughter often seemed to react similarly at first. It was no laughing matter, and despite knowing they needed to get ahead of this, he had delayed under the arrogance that his admittance of a lover would be enough to satisfy. He should have known after Jinx had professed concern he would be stolen away that it would not be peaceful.
When Richard sat up, the gulf of space - which wasn't all that large - seemed huge. He reached up and pushed his fingers through his hair to pull it from falling into his face. It stayed here, mingling the growing streak of silver with the brown, and he watched Richard with his mismatched gaze.]
We come from different worlds and different traditions. In my city, marriage of legitimacy are not common, and wandering to another's bed while in marriage is a good way to have one's liver removed with a knife. She is... concerned about loyalty. [He sighed as he considered the notion he was technically Richard's dirty secret, but then again, the younger man had much to hide in the way of secrets. He was likely the least of them. Yet, would it matter in the end?]
She won't stop until we openly admit to her we are... [He trialed off; they had never put a label on what they were before. They'd technically made no official commitment to whatever this was. They just... kept meeting.] I will understand if her behaviour is overwhelming and you'd prefer to not have a part in it....
[Well, Richard is a Plantagenet after all. A lineage full of cunning and bloodthirsty leaders, not shying away from showcasing anger and brutality. George and Edward had it in them too, but their anger could not hold a candle to Richard's rage fueled by lifelong hurt.]
If I were to discover another sleeping in my wife's bed it would very well be in my rights to plunge a knife into him. Marriage is not a joke to us either. [He states, feeling a need to defend his own world and culture, not wanting to leave any room for doubt for disloyalty or dishonor. Marriage was a sacred bond, something that no lover should be able to disturb. In normal situations, at least. Although, there was nothing normal about Richard's own circumstances and marriage with Anne.
And it was that abnormality that allowed him to be involved in this secret between him and Silco. They were both men who carried darkness with them that set them apart from most of the rest, something that made them just a little bit more like monsters than men. Being aware of what to show and what to keep under discretion was essential for their survival, so keeping this... affair, if one wanted to call it that, in secrecy aligned perfectly with that line of thought. Even in a city of sinners like this one, it only felt natural to stay quiet about their involvement. After all, what they did was no one else's business but theirs.
There is a brief pause while Richard remains mute, lips sealed shut as he tried to tamper down his anger. The tension builds up around his shoulders and Richard curls his fingers around the edges of the blanket. Does he want to deal with Jinx? Quite frankly no. Not if it is going to be like this.]
And? Does she wish us to make a similar humiliating announcement as the other person did the other day when confessing his affections towards a jester?
[Silco found himself squinting just a little at the declaration of loyalty to the wife, who was not actually here in Aldrip. He also wasn't so certain of the hypocrisy of bedding that Buckingham fellow from Richard's world - Richard's other half? - while also still married. Maybe the wife was dead; he hadn't asked.]
So I can expect if she makes her way here and finds us like this that I'll be fending off a knife slipping between my ribs? [The marriage discussion was clearly a messy one, perhaps even more so than the Jinx one, though not by much.] If it's not a joke, why are we doing this, Richard? Because she isn't here or because she doesn't know how similar we are to one another?
[There were some aspects of oneself that couldn't be shown to everyone; he had the confidence to lean into being a monster. It's what those of his world expected him to be, and so he would for his own goals. It seemed to him that Richard was the same, and he didn't deny that there was considerable comfort and pleasure with someone he didn't have to justify his actions to or mince his words with.
He huffed softly at the question, reaching out to stroke a hand down the middle of Richard's back.] I would never make any public announcement. My business is mine. No, I believe she wants me and by extension you to admit we are sleeping together, that we don't avoid dropping one another's names or deflecting any further.
[Would it make things better? Probably not. She had already spat at him that she would never forgive Richard or himself for refusing to name drop in the first place.]
Nay. [Although, the thought did amuse him a quite bit. The idea of sweet, gentle Anne with her sorrowful eyes taking a knife up against Richard's lover. It wasn't her skill that he doubted but her ability and will to go through something so brutal and bloody. And besides, if there was someone she'd attack it'd be Richard instead of Silco. He had betrayed Anne countless times and only kept doing so, despite her placing all of her trust on him.
The question leaves Richard quiet. Why were doing this, indeed? On one hand the answer was rather simple: because they were lonely and could find remedy to that in these moments. But then again, it is everything but simple. Richard was married and, despite his seemingly uncaring behavior, he held respect to that union between him and Anne. When the stage had been set, players put in the places and trap activated for him to gain the control of the crown it had been her judgement that had the final say. Without Anne's support, Richard wouldn't have proceeded in his final act of deceit.
And yet. He was here, with another man in his bed out of all things. Betraying Anne once again.
"That is because you're a demon, Richard. You can't help it. Your every desire is a sin." A dark voice speaks to him somewhere from the shadows. Richard doesn't move to acknowledge the voice, but he is very well aware that if he were to do as much as turn to look to his left he'd see a familiar hooded, faceless figure cursing him.]
You knew about her. Why does it bother you now? [Richard hadn't been shy revealing his marital status to others, Silco included. He had even shone light about his situation with Buckingham to the other man and it had not seemed to bother him. If anything Silco had promised to stay by his side and fill the void of solitude. So, what had changed? The doubt spread to his body, making his breathing and heartbeat quicker as these uncertain thoughts plagued his mind.
The touch makes him shiver a little, fingers curling tighter around the edges of the blanket.] A truth like that is dangerous when let out of confident. You know that.
A shame. I've never been a home wrecker before. [He leaned his head back against the pillow and returned to staring up at the ceiling. Truth be told, Richard might have been the first he remained intrigued about to put up with that kind of disruption. What was the need for loyalty to more than enjoying themselves when they didn't care to define what this was so far.] I suppose the situation would be as messy with her as it is with my daughter.
[He shifted his other arm behind his head, fingers flicking against each other to prevent him from giving his away his normal tells. His hand remained stroking up and down Richard's back, feeling the tension in those muscles.] She's not here. Neither is he. It doesn't bother me because I'm aware of the potential... finality of this if one or both make their way here. [Well, maybe not the first person but definitely the second.
He sighed and stared at the ceiling. He was still convinced they had lost the narrative and keeping this a secret between them could escalate matters beyond what they could reasonably control.] I do know, yes. I also know that controlling information is imperative for both of us. Are you... ashamed of this?
She is my wife. If she were to arrive here she would not have name, wealth nor power. There is nothing she could do. [And same went for her in their home, as well. With the caveat that back in London she could very well destroy him by spreading the rumors. But it would also mean the end to her and their son Edward. Anne was tethered to him whether she wanted it or not.
There is a painful sting in Richard's chest when Silco brings up his kingmaker again. The desperation hammering into his heart like a sharp wooden stake. He hates just how mentioning the possibility of Buckingham arriving is enough to fill him with the merciless hope, clawing new wounds to his soul over the old ones. It reminded him of the days of the past when he had looked at different source of light - hoping to see a glimpse of those gentle eyes looking at his way. The memory brought a sour taste to his mouth, making Richard loathe himself even more.]
..It's not that. [Because in the end, it wasn't this connection that he was ashamed of. No, the source for it lied with himself and his own, bottomless pit of self-hate. Despite their shared similarities in privacy, Richad was not like Silco. He could not let the people see the monster that he was in broad daylight.] Why haven't you told her yet?
And yet she remains your wife regardless of her status and fortunes. [And he couldn't tell if that meant something to Richard with the way the younger man was turned away from him. Richard's body language remained very closed off, and he couldn't view his lover's expression either.] And family makes things such as these messy when they feel they have a stake.
[He noted that Richard didn't answer the question, nor rebutted the accurate statement that the younger man would most definitely walk away if the 'other' came to this place. It was inevitable, and he closed his blue eye as he reminded himself of that.] Then what is it?
[The question drew a low hum from his throat. Before he had come here in the early hours of the morning, he had asked himself that same question and parsed out an answer for himself. Would it satisfy? Did matter?] Because I was protecting you. Your secrets are yours to give when and to whom you wish to.
[Unsure how to respond to that, Richard stays quiet. Does he, and by extension Jinx, expect him to reject and denounce his bond with Anne? There's no way he could do that, were she present in this world or not. She was still an essential, fundamental peace that kept walls of lies and deceit from crumbling down.
It is cruel, he knows, and that he is no better than Warwick who used both of his daughters as bargaining chips as he tried to form alliances left and right just to destroy Edward. He was using Anne the same way to ensure his own claim and secure himself. But what else can be expected of a demon like him?
Yet another heavy silence falls between them as the direct questioning continues. However, it is very different within Richard's own mind as the voice from before is screaming at him again, shouting the curses at him and forcing his mind even further into isolation.
'Demon, demon!', 'To an undigested and deformed lump!'
Richard can feel his chest and throat tightening, making it hard to breath. Letting go off the blanket he brings his hands over his temples and pulls his knees up towards his bare chest, curling up more to himself.]
It is a sin. [He says eventually with a quiet voice, feeling the distance between growing as he knew that Silco would most likely not be able to understand this reason.] I am demon who pulls others into the darkness to satisfy my own desires.
['Your every desire is a crime.' That is the truth that he can't let out of this confined room. Silco might be able to stand tall and proud in his skin of monster, but Richard had so much to lose. Even here in Aldrip, with this Chosen still looking at him.
But the unexpected confession is enough to cut through the curse and silencing the dark voice for a moment, pulling him back to the present from the depths of his mind. A brief wave of disbelief washes through his mind and lowers his hands just enough to catch a glimpse at Silco.]
[Silco was able to watch Richard withdraw more and more into himself that further this conversation went, pulling away not physically but in every other way. He expected it was a self-protective gesture, to hide in plain sight when put under scrutiny, and there were plenty of times when Richard's silence had been answer enough.
This was not it. As he watched the younger man curl into himself towards the fetal position, he found himself warring with reaction. On one hand, it was a statement of the trust they had built that he could pick out this vulnerability, but on the other, this weakness would damn whatever this was. He was all for games of the word, but he also was plainly straight-forward on certain topics and expected others who had earned his trust to do the same.
Yet, the claim of a sin actually earned a sharp noise from him, and he set his elbow to the mattress too push himself up to sit. He shifted so their bodies were close together without being in direct contact. He put his mouth close to Richard's hand covered ear.] What is sin but the declaration of someone standing from an ivory tower telling you that you aren't good enough? We are allowed to give into our desires; we are allowed to seek happiness and pleasure and fortune and knowledge.
You've forced me to do nothing that I don't enjoy.
[He shrugged his bare shoulders as if nonchalant about the idea of sin. Which ones? He valued loyalty over anything else, but he understood that everyone had an agenda and a limitation.
He tilted his head to meet Richard's gaze, leaning in so he could rest his chin on the younger man's shoulder.]
I still haven't told her. [So no, it hadn't changed.
It was, of course, only partial truth. There were more complex reasons beyond protecting Richard's bodily secrets. He wanted to; he wanted this; he was lonely even when in a room full of people; he wanted to protect them; he wanted to protect Jinx. On and on it went if he scratched to the deeper levels.]
[He doesn't understand. How is one supposed to ignore the voices coming off the ivory tower when the one judging you is no other than the God and the order of life itself? One who sins is prohibited from ever touching the light. That is why they must display the utmost discreet to not be caught when moving in the shadows.
The touch helps to keep Richard grounded in the presence, preventing him from falling too deep into the dark depths of his own nightmares. At first, at least. Because when he words fall from Silco's lips Richard can feel his stomach dropping and his soul being pulled back.
'You've forced me to do nothing that I don't enjoy.' That is because the forbidden fruit is always the most sweetest. Or so he would normally image a reply to such statement if it wasn't for the lingering implication behind the words that he had indeed tempted the other.
'That is what you always do. Ruin people with those sweet words slipping past your lips and with that demon body of yours!' The voice speaks back to him, heckling as the entire room is covered in the thick black veil, blocking the morning with its light and sounds from entering the room. The veins are coiling around him again, pressing the spikes against his flesh.
Richard's eyes turns away from Silco once again, focusing in the distant spot on the wall, trying to shake off the anxiety from his skin and fight against the panic that threatens to swallow him whole.]
But you want to. [He says eventually, tongue heavy and words tasting like rot in his mouth. Keeping his expression neutral he slips further away on the mattress and moves towards the edge of the bed. ] I will need to wash. We should continue this discussion after that with a meal.
[It's like a growing wave next to him, the air thickening with a palpable pressure that he only had an ability to look out for because he had already raised an emotionally traumatized daughter. He remained close, of course, thinking his physical presence may be enough to stave off whatever black hole that Richard's thoughts were falling into.
The distance between them seemed to gulf quickly even before Richard made motion to move away from him, and he expected that there was something that he said which had had the opposite effect that he had intended. For all intensive purposes, this conversation and all of its topics were over, and they had to start from scratch slowly and carefully once... whatever this was passed.
He sighed from his nose when Richard eased away, and he pushed his fingers through his hair as he watched the younger man retreat away. This was one of those 'I will hide under the desk with you' moments, he expected, though very, very different with Richard. The tells were similar.
Silco gathered himself, tucking away all the vulnerabilities he might want to expose and straightened his spine. Like that, he set his shoulders and threw off the blankets and slipped from the bed, making a point of stretching casually.] I will join you then.
[He came around the bed and offered a hand to Richard, gesturing with his head towards the bathroom.] Let's go. We don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to. Just us enjoying indoor plumbing and clean water.
[Richard is already halfway off the bed, pushing the blanket aside and planning to reach for the rose-patterned night robe that he had shed on the chair near the bed earlier, when he feels the mattress dip and shift underneath him. Wordlessly he turns his head to look over his shoulder and watches Silco to move and get up, circling around the bed to his side. Everything happens in slow motion in his eyes, as if he was watching a repeat of a distant memory, like a play of sorts that happens in front of him but not to him.
The words spoken to him echoes from somewhere in the distance, pushing through the rustling of leaves and the creaking of the branches that extended their claw-like twigs towards him. The voice is laughing at him as he reaches out to place his hand on top of the offered palm. The movement, as simple it is, feels heavy and difficult as the vines kept clinging on him.
Once he's taken the hand, Richard uses it to pull himself off the bed and to his feet. He moves completely on autopilot, neutral eyes not reflecting the turmoil and storm raging in his mind.
[He pulled Richard up to stand without much effort on his part, yet pulled the younger man close enough that he could lean in to press his lips to Richard's forehead, lingering for a time there.
That finished, he gave a small uninsistent tug to Richard hand as he took them both to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. At the same time as they begun to walk, he simply hummed a little soft tune of Zaun. There was no need to talk and honestly, in a state like that, words could make things worse than better so he didn't bother.
He pulled them both to the shower and tub, urging Richard in as he turned on the water with the other hand. He let the younger man choose where to sit or stand in the step up as he concentrated on making certain the water was an acceptable temperature. The sound of his humming increased to be heard over the sound of water. He did not release his grip on Richard's hand unless it was because the younger man pulled away from him. Never the other way around.]
[It was a strange thing, to have someone else present like this when his mind was nothing but chaos, clouding his every thought and perspective of the surroundings and himself. Back in his own world, no one had been aware of these ailments that would from time to time continue haunting Richard's mind and call him further into the depths. The ignorance of the others had allowed Richard to form his own coping mechanism and ways to battle against condition that he could only describe as curse of a witch. Either to push himself through it, close himself off and focus on the matters at the hand, or in the worst scenario: succumb to the voice as the nightmares would slowly chip away more of his heart and soul. For the first case scenario his arrangements with Buckingham had been perfect as his kingmaker would unknowingly force his focus to stay on the present during their long nightly conversations and scheming.
But Silco, like always, was a different story. He could see through the barriers that Richard had build around himself and recognize the hurt within his mind and how the curse distorted the reality in his eyes. But instead of trying to force Richard out of the spell he choose to approach the situation with comfort, allowing the moment to play and die out on its own course.
Richard wasn't sure how he felt about it. Part of him detested the softness that kept him lingering between the two worlds, unable to break him free from the doubts plaguing his mind but also preventing him succumbing to them completely. But then there was the other part of him, a much stronger one, that desperately wanted to cling on hope and acceptance that is offered to him -- despite knowing that it ultimately would serve as another knife piercing his soul.
Richard stays quiet, reacting only minimally to Silco's actions. His gaze lowers down to look down at their joined hands. And as they begin to walk his mind automatically snaps to the distant memory from his past, when he had similarly clung on a guiding hand that pulled him only deeper into the woods. His vision narrows and his heartbeat grows only faster and louder as he is remembering the warning.
Do not let go of this hand.
The walk to the bathroom is not a long one, taking a less than a minute, and yet it felt like an eternity to Richard. And once they're in and door is locked he feels a wave of relief to wash over his body, a heavy sigh finally escaping from him - as if he they had just crossed a long and dangerous threshold. How long had he been holding his breath?
It is also then when Richard finally does register the unknown song that Silco had been humming. He briefly lift his gaze from their joined hands to look at the back of Silco's neck, expression finally shifting and showing some emotion as the uncertainty pushed to the surface.]
[Weakness was frowned upon in Zaun, a fact that many would take advantage of to gain something for themselves. People surrounded themselves with friends, allies and family so that there was always someone watching their back during an inevitable lapse in judgment or a sign of weakness. If one didn't have those things, they were doomed to struggle or be taken advantage of or killed. The higher in the ranks within Zaun ruthless political and economic powers, the less weakness was tolerated.
Some made plays for egos or fabricated stories about one losing their grip. It was the other person's job to twist those tales on their head and prove themselves to be still perfectly capable. It turned into endless squabbling and petty disputes that lost focus on the goal. Weakness was the true killer in his position, so he very often used brutal force and underhanded tactics to keep the focus on the end game and insert how much power he wielded even when others wavered; it drew them back into line, and at worst, he'd wipe them out and elevate someone who could manage the weight of responsibility.
Yet, with Jinx, force had gotten him no where. Her grief and mental illness were so deep that trying to force her out of those with forced focus or strong physical action would only make the situation worse. His tactics had changed to letting it play out but being a solid and constant presence, to build trust when others would take advantage or strike her. He had never, ever struck his daughter, rarely raised his voice and always provided a listening ear even when she was in the full depths of some mad thought or emotion. A calm in the storm.
It was a tactic he thought would work with Richard, being that calm and centering presence that went about closing off extra stimulus. It had worked before when Richard had been attacking the communicator and a few other minor instances. He expected that it would work again here, though the distant look and the stony expression that hid the turmoil beneath told him that this was a particularly bad episode. How bad could they be? He didn't know. Did it matter? Not particularly.
He was adjusting the temperature of the shower when he heard the question, turning his head to regard the younger man standing within in grip. He gave a gentle tug to that hand as he drew them both into the shower, even going so far as to pull Richard against his body if the younger man would allow it as the warm water poured over his skin.]
No one should wander alone in that darkness. [He shrugged, uncaring if the explanation was unsatisfying.] I can't go with you to wherever your mind takes you, but I can remain a point of contact to allow you to find your way out again. If you ever wish to talk about it, I will be an ear to listen to try to understand so I can help you further. Otherwise, hopefully this is what you need.
Edited 2024-09-09 16:19 (UTC)
good that one of us is responsible with the cws...
[The severity of these spells do come with various levels of severity, just as Silco suspected. However, while it's true that the current one that has hold on Richard is stronger than those that Silco had witnessed earlier it still was nowhere near the worst case scenario. It's during those moments when Richard truly loses track of himself and allows his anger and fear guide him through the thick woods, painting the world red with him. Right now, Richard could feel the curse trying coax him deeper into the embrace of the abyss as the self-loath filled desperation clung on him like a second skin. But despite all of that and the distorted vision Richard was in control and kept trying to push past the demons of his own making in hopes of finding the exit of the forest.
It was all easier said than done, of course. The vines tightened their hold around Richard's body, the sharp thorns sinking deeper into his bare flesh, and kept dragging him back like harsh hands pulling him apart. Both his body and mind felt exhausted as he continued to fight against their lure, not wanting to let him succumb and panic here in front of his lover. And he was already faltering as the struggle brought the distress over his face.
The explanation Silco gave him was hardly a satisfactory and failed to provide him any answer. Why would the other man go this far to provide someone like Richard comfort and sense of security? Why would he keep holding his hand even though there was a gap forming between them with the issue of Jinx.
'Richard. Richard', the voice hisses at his ear. 'It's because you're demon. You have bewitched him with that body of yours! Or have you gone truly mad and think that you'd be wanted?'
Once again, Richard lowers his gaze down and presses his lips together into a thin, anxious line. However, this time he does not immediately follow Silco but stands still when the man tries to tug him towards the warm water. The tension and stiffness returns to his body as he tries to close his ears of the curses.
The long and slender fingers curl around Silco's hand, squeezing it harder.]
..I am not mad. [His voice is quiet, only barely audible over the rush of the shower. Richard wasn't sure who he was addressing with his words. Was it Silco or the hooded figure who he knew was there with them, waiting to send their army of demons and spirits after Richard any moment. Then, gritting his teeth together, he steps forward into the warm shower and presses himself against Silco's body, forehead leaning against his shoulder.] I am nothing like him.
[He watched Richard closely even as the gulf of distance grew as he stepped into the shower and the younger man remained at arm's length outside of it. He held on regardless, not providing more than a small gentle tug to let the younger man know that he was there in whatever imagery that Richard was enduring. Was it the same as Jinx? He doubted it, though they had never discussed the specifics as he had with his daughter.
The expression on Richard's face was enough to tell him all he needed to know about the internal struggle, and it was not his fight. He fought the battles beyond them in the physical world and provided a safe space for what needed to be fought internally where no one else could see. His job was to protect so that weakness was never shown beyond those walls as much as he could.
But this wasn't Jinx. These weren't her demons. This was Richard, a man who had fallen into bed with him for the last three months. A man with many, many unspoken secrets, few of which Silco could claim to know anything about. They were, in a sense, private men even with each other, accepting one another as monstrous and basking in that with their togetherness.
Why was he protecting Richard? Why was he putting efforts into hiding these vulnerabilities from the world? Did he see some of his daughter's struggles in this man?
Despite his own swirling thoughts hidden behind his mismatched eyes, he was watching and listening for signs this would go one way or the other. A keen sense of hearing was one of the few physical senses that remained well intact.]
No, you are not. You fight internal battles against foes you brought with you from childhood. [That was a guess on his part from years of exposure to abused and traumatized children, the closest being his daughter. He welcomed Richard in against him, curling an arm around the younger man's waist and still refusing to relinquish that gentle hold on Richard's hand.] Nothing like who, hmm?
[Richard keeps quiet, not saying anything to either confirm or deny Silco's speculation. But it's not too far from the truth, at least as far as Richard's concerned. After all, it's not like he ever truly left the forest. Not even the light that was his father could save him from there. Maybe it truly was like his mother always said, that he had been eaten by a witch living there.
His own free hand slides up against Silco's forearm, all the way until his fingers can curl around his shoulder. Richard grits his teeth together and the breath leaving from his is so ragged and violent that it makes his entire upper body tremble as he tries to push down the pain that keeps trying to push through the surface.]
Henry the Sixth. [The barbs of the vine coul tightly around his throat, choking him so that the name comes out as a pained hiss through his teeth.] The mad king who I killed. [He really, really does not want to visit that memory. But he knows the door into that is opened it will not close up again, the darkness spreading and tainting his mind like a disease.
Henry had been mad, yes. But more than that he had been a coward. Always running away and hiding from everything. Either by fleeing from his responsibilities and take on the role of a shepherd, or by escaping into the depths of his mind, blocking the memories and world around him. Richard was not like that. He never had the luxury to run away, no. Instead he always faced his adversities and struggles head-on. There was no place for him to hide away.
Just like here. They had something they needed to deal with, right. Something important to discuss over.
Almost reluctantly, Richard lets go of Silco's hand and steps away from him. He turns his back to the other man as he reaches to grab the soap, beginning to rub the bar on his skin.]
Your daughter, [He begins, voice reaching for distant disability.] What do you wish to do about her demands?
Edited (i need to stop pressing enter too fast.......!) 2024-09-11 20:44 (UTC)
[His arm tightened around Richard's waist as the younger man's fingers gripped his shoulder, but the tension remained obvious based on Richard's gritted expression. He thought that the younger man was about to slide into a panic attack or perhaps take a swing at him as both were spectrums that could come from such an expression.
He didn't know who Henry the Sixth was, but the way that Richard spoke of the man left little room to investigate why the man was mad or why he created such a visceral reaction in Richard. However, there was someone who could potentially answer that question and provide insight to this figure who plagued the younger man so. Why would Richard never wish to be like him? Was it the madness?]
His memory plagues you like a thorn in your mind. [He had someone like that, though that visceral reaction had faded over the years.
Silco didn't fight to keep their physical closeness, releasing Richard and watched the younger man turn away from him. Someone had once told him that secrets would fracture any closeness he might ever attempt; he didn't even recall who after all these years. He'd probably killed them. Yet, the distance felt far larger than it was in reality, and he felt himself pulling back in a subtle protective gesture in return.
He pushed a hand through his wet hair, slicking it back towards his skull as he stepped further under the water to wash quickly. He hummed softly at the question.]
Our options are to keep this between us longer and risk her making stronger attempts to find us together to verify her claims, or we admit and attempt controlling the narrative that way. Both come with risks. [He spoke as a man weighing a tactical decision.] Or... we cease this liaison, and she will leave you alone where I'm concerned.
[Which he knew Jinx wanted potentially more than an admittance from them both. He wasn't certain selfishness would allow him to do that, but if Richard was under considerable pressure and concern about said secrets, he would understand the unwillingness to take risk.]
[A dry, almost surreal scoff leaves from Richard. That statement is an understatement of a lifetime. No matter how many times he tried to suffocate the memory of the man it always somehow found a way to slither back to his mind like a deadly vermin. Despite all his best efforts to kill and freeze his own soul it was no use. Leaving him with desire to rip out his heart out of his chest just so that he wouldn't be tormented by this pain any more.]
He is the man who murdered my father. [His voice comes off like croak, breaking apart in his throat. Richard had never hidden his affection and respect he held towards his father, and he hoped that this revelation would be enough to satisfy Silco's curiosity and make him leave the topic alone.
Richard continues to rub the bar of soap on his body, until he is covered in faint coat of light bubbles. Like always, the sensation felt jarring against his burned arm and damaged nerves. But right now it was actually welcomed feeling as it worked as distraction from the creeping fear and increasing anxiety. Because if Silco's words had any effect on him he did not show it, keeping his back turned to him and expression neutral.
Ultimately he agrees with Silco. There were only so many paths they could take in this situation. However, he could tell that the other man was avoiding the question]
[Considering Richard had nearly taken a blade to him for the mere suggestion that the younger man's father might have died dishonourably, he could imagine why this Henry the Sixth provoked such a reaction. It was enough to shut down any further comments he might decide to make on the subject, aware of the importance that such a man had on Richard's life. If there was a dedication to a single member of family, it would Richard to his father as far as he could tell.]
So you avenged your father with this man's death. [Like that, he left the subject alone and expected that would be that. He would never know and thus hopefully never understand that sting.
He stepped from the spray of water, pushing his hands over his hair to force the rivets of water to trail over his skin. The shower was normally a safe space, one for quiet contemplation or the kind of quiet touching he allowed himself to enjoy with Richard now and again. The space felt oppressive and confining as it was now, though he knew better than to show any disturbances even as he opened more space for Richard to step under the spray that he had just vacated.]
What I wish doesn't matter; there is only one option where I lose. [False. He lost something in all three scenarios, but it wasn't yet worth considering. He was not yet ready to put his cards on the table because he couldn't get a read on what hand Richard was holding.] Your thoughts on the options?
[He had avenged his father, Richard supposes. Along with ensuring the safety of the York throne by suffocating the last Lancaster light. It had all came with heavy personal price. But then again, what other choice did he have? As long as they were who they were there couldn't possibly be anything else than blood between them.
Once he's done with the soap Richard steps back in the shower. He gives the older man a quick, questioning look before he begins to rinse himself. Richard can tell that he is dodging the question, mirroring his own avoidance from before. But there was something very defeatist behind his words that settled badly with Richard.]
I will not let a young girl to sway me nor come between me and what I desire. [He says, pushing his hair off his face, the mismatched eyes looking up at Silco.] I know what I want. What about you?
[He knew he was providing avoidance to the question. It was difficult to consider what he might lose, but also, it was easy to think he would walk away from them. After all, he had given up a life ambition for the freedom of Zaun for his daughter, so the idea that he would sever this dalliance for her as well was not unreasonable. She was his world after all, and he'd sooner see it burned around him rather than lose her.
However, Jinx was settling in, finding her own path with friends and ambition of her own that didn't come from a direction of him. She had friends, boyfriend even and now had a shop of her own. She had a revolution against the Council, which was more initiative than she had ever taken on such subjects. That made him nervous, of course. He and Jinx had a... ah, mildly co-dependent relationship.
He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't like someone, she would go out of her way to make life uncomfortable. Sevika tolerated it on his behalf and because he was so effective at pushing the undercity to independence, but he was keenly aware that Richard would not tolerate her antics. As a side-effect, he would be in the middle of any he-said-she-said battles that would inevitably form. It was such undercity political drama, but this wasn't the undercity.
He regarded Richard from where he stood, thoughts hidden behind a carefully schooled expression. They had never particularly defined what they were. It wasn't a problem except when it could be severing it. He told himself and his daughter this was nothing but sex, yet he could only lie to everyone for so long.
The corner of his lip twitched at the mention of desire, and he stepped backwards to lean against the wall. He crossed his arms across his bare chest, but he made certain to not break eye contact. It would seem like a lack of resolve on his part if he did, and he knew better than to show that kind of weakness.]
She's my daughter. I've given up my greatest ambition to keep her safe... [He didn't regret it, not now, not ever. He wasn't allowed to be selfish when he was the leader and a father.] I would burn my own world to the ground for her. Without question.
[He dropped his arms to his sides again, aware they were like a physical barrier between them. He even pushed off of leaning on the wall, unable to articulate the internal struggle of choosing something - someone - for himself over Jinx. He should be perfectly fine being alone; he had been without someone like Richard or... him for many years that it shouldn't be a difficult decision. He knew, ultimately, what Jinx was demanding without saying, and he had felt prickles of resentment. Even now, he was prickly about the idea of walking away even if he would.
He opened his mouth to continue and then closed it again, shaking his head. He took the two steps to close the distance between himself and Richard and lowered his forehead to rest against the younger man's scarred shoulder.] I want... whatever this is. I want you to someday trust me with some of your secrets, and... for me to trust you with some of mine. I cannot be perceived as betraying my daughter; she's what is important to me.
[He moved to wrap his arms around Richard's waist if the younger man would tolerate it. Why couldn't this - whatever it was - just be sex? Why was there something more to complicate everything?]
[The sharp mismatched eyes are focused at Silco, keenly observing the subtle shifts and changes in his body language. Like a hawk, Richard is looking out for any signs of vulnerability or hesitation as the other man in his exterior.
He understands it very well that this was not a simple matter to the other man, and that there was many layers and factions for both of them to take into consideration. Yet, the slight hints of hesitation and defeatism in Silco's previous words had managed to rouse sparks of irritation in Richard's mind -- briefly pushing the anxiety to the side. But despite that, he stands still in silence, allowing the other man to take his time to arrive to the answers he seeks.
He knew better than anyone that privacy and secrets came with a heavy price, something that would never quite be fully paid. So, despite the hurt that he knew that rejection would bring him, Richard could not blame if Silco decided to quit and walk away. It was only natural. A demon like him was hardly worth of this conflict. If Silco were to burn this who was he to judge? When he had burned so many bridges himself before.
The expression on Richard's face stays neutral, lips pressed together in rosy line and eyes looking up without reflecting any emotion. However, eventually even the marble breaks and crumbles.
The stony mask on his face slips off and Richard takes a sharp breath as Silco closes the gap between them and reaches out to him. There's a trepidation in his chest, stinging like another thorn right at his heart, sinking deep along the with the words. Swallowing air, he slowly raises his healthy hand to back of Silco's neck. He allows the arms wrap around his waist and almost waits to hear the chorus of laughter as they press closer. But for once.. There is nothing, just silence and them -- laying everything bare it seems.
Richard closed his eyes and exhaled.]
The moment you tell her you risk others knowing as well. [He says softly, fingers snaking up to comb through Silco's wet hair. Richard could understand that there were unbreakable bonds, he had shared one with his own father. However, the more he saw and learned about the relationship between Silco and Jinx the more suspicious he became. The girl was looking more like a thorn on the man's side than anything else. ] There are people here who know of me. I.. can't betray them.
[On some level, he recognized that both of them exhibited similar signs and defense mechanisms when it came to pending rejection. Both of them walled off, remaining stony and wooden in their body language as they waited for the worse possible outcome when it came to emotional matters. They were both waiting for whatever this was to fail all around them, like a game of chicken to see how close they could come to the line before one of them jumped off and avoided potential personal disaster.
Yet, all of that melted away from him momentarily when his arms slipped around Richard's waist and the younger man seemed to surrender against him. His grip tightened to bring them together, and he continued to rest his forehead to Richard's burn-scarred shoulder, releasing the tension from his shoulders that he was not rejected in return. Just for a few seconds, he savoured this silently.
Never first choice, but underdog was where he operated best anyway. In the shadows he had always been at his best and his worst. In that, it felt as if he and Richard were reflected the same way.]
I'm aware. [He knew that. Jinx sounded off when frustrated and would likely let Richard's identity slip. Probably Ragna, maybe someone else.] Perhaps also admitting it out loud makes it real as well. Until then, we can just... exist in this space of finding each other but not calling it anything. [If it was real, it might force a sort of commitment or to face any budding emotional attachment to each other. His fingers lightly dug into the small of Richard's back at the audacity of it.] So we are both in a position of being unwilling to betray other people. That puts us in a difficult position.
[Tilting his head slightly to the side, Richard carefully nuzzles against Silco's temple. His breathing finally calming down since entering to the bathroom. The embrace, sound of their joined hear beats and lukewarm water running down their bodies all were soothing to his soul.
However, despite the solace and comfort found in their small bubble, Richard could not help but notice the obvious drift between them -- threatening to pull them apart sooner or later. Neither of them were willing to betray the other people, true. However, while Silco did it out of love towards his daughter, Richard did it for himself. Meeting people like Charles and Mitsuru had affirmed that his ambitions had not been in vain and that he, indeed, did succeed in grabbing that light. But it also meant that he had an imagine to uphold to. He was, after all, King Richard the Third. He could not falter from that.
And then there was the other factor as well, something that Richard found more dooming than anything else. Despite all this intimacy, no matter how deep their shared similarities ran, their hearts were not together. Silco had spoken of secrets and working to unwound them. How funny. Richard could trust the other man with his deepest and most guarded secret that was his body, but hesitated when it came to opening up his mind.]
You called us lovers, before. [Richard recalls to their previous conversation on the network. And then there had been the moment when Silco had claimed Richard as his own in front of the ghosts of his past. ] Is that not enough?
[In the shower, there was a brief sense of peace. He didn't know how long it would last for or when they would step apart to move along with their day. He would already be late for breakfast unless Jinx was sleeping in - a rarity but it still happened - and would potentially take a bit of flack for that. All the more reason to savour the quiet warmth of the shower.
And outside of this space, Silco had his own ambitions and was working towards cultivating all that he needed for his own goals. It was slow and required a certain finesse that he hadn't entirely needed in the undercity take over. There were others with ambition as well, but they carefully maneuvered around each other. So far, Richard had not made bold moves to gather power aside from training, but he saw the potential with the younger man's speech and charisma when organizing.
Would it run them afoul? He didn't know. While he was constantly on alert to threats to his position, Richard was on his radar for benign reasons. They did, after all, spend time together outside of this space.]
And what does lover mean to you in your world? [He expected everyone's interpretation would be different. Was there a commitment? Was there loyalty?] And for now... I will remain mute to my daughter's prying, but that time will close soon as she escalates. I expect you will do the same.
[Of course, a thought occurred to him as he shifted his head a little so he could kiss Richard's shoulder. Was the man embarrassed by him? He had been called a peasant when they first met and Richard had prattled about royalty and high born things. Perhaps he would be a stain on Richard's reputation as Duke being... well, him. Hmm, the Duke of Gloucester's dirty secret? How scandalous.]
[Richard is nothing if not a well-guarded labyrinth of secrets. The deeper one went the easier it was to lose the sight of the truth, getting only lost in the abyss of the lies and deceits. And it would be foolish to assume that this arrangement with Silco was not just one bricks on those walls. But that was just the world where Richard came from. If one wanted to survive and succeed in the royal court they needed to know how conceal themselves in web of lies and schemes.
He had thought that Silco could understand that.
Richard blinks his eyes open at the question, staring at the white wall of the shower as he parces the answer together in his mind. There was no simple answer to it. Lover could mean anything from chosen suitor to illicit affair and between. Richard himself had ever had one lover in his life and even that arrangement had been special and unusual in every possible way. But he had watched his brother and his associates to stumble from bed to another, entertaining a new lover every night. No, this was nothing like that either.
Richard pulls his head back and cranes his neck up, his mismatching eyes peering into almost identical one. He then raises both of his hands to cup Silco's face, drawing the man closer.]
We continue to confide in each other, finding solace and comfort in both body and mind. I chase away your solitude and you do mine. [It might not be the most coherent or specific answer. But it is the only one he has. Richard is not naive enough to expect anything more from this liaison of theirs, unable to believe that the other could hold genuine affection or love towards him outside of their moments of intimacy. Good. That meant that he was free from having to weight his own heart. They were just two beasts locked in a cage, licking each other's wounds.]
And once she does what happens next? Will your protection over me and my secret expire along with your silence?
[Secrets and lies and deceptions and power plays were all part of the games that had to be played. The strong would take advantage of the weak, but Zaun would always stand against Piltover regardless of one's strength. Petty squabbles, feuds, and bruised egos lead to gang wars and assassinations, and people in power lead by a tenuous thread, walking a dangerous line between ruthless effectiveness and pitiful downfalls.
He knew the game well, which was likely why he had never taken a lover in Zaun. His ambition took up too much time as well, but if he wanted to remain effective, an adoptive daughter was all that he could afford to keep close. He raised her to be ruthless and chaotic and violent, to take on the world that they lived in, but it did not usually make one a good ruler for long.
Yet, he leaned his face into Richard's hands, letting the simple gesture welcome him. When he had become so weak? When had he lost his edge to not simply take a calculated risk? He knew when, of course, but that weakness had followed him here, the downfall of an empire that had yet to recover. As he closed his blue eye, he listened to Richard's answer and realized the younger man skirted much of the answer in the same way that he did.
One and the same. Monsters in the dark finding brief solace in each other. Monsters carrying the weight of their past, personal weakness restraining their directness. Was he honestly going to let himself be what he despised as a youth?
Slowly his arms unwound from Richard's waist so that he could lift his hands to mimic the younger man's gesture as he took Richard's cheeks in his palms. He tipped the younger man's face up towards his, leaning down so that their lips were a whisper apart from one another.]
Lovers then, Richard. I will be loyal to you, and I expect you will be loyal to me. We do not stray to other's beds. [His heart rate increased slowly but surely.] I will safeguard your secrets, chase away your solitude, comfort you in your own personal torments when you need me to.
[His mismatched eyes bore into Richard's similar ones.] Betray me, and I will take revenge on you even if it takes me the rest of my lifetime. I expect the reverse to be a similar pledge. [He suddenly moved to push Richard back against the wall of the shower, crowding the younger man with his own body.] So don't betray me.
[He pressed his lips to Richard's, lingering there for almost a minute.] Shall I give you a secret to seal 'us'? To prove that I want this.
[Richard stays quiet, staring daringly without flinching right into the pair of eyes in front of him -- listening carefully the words leaving Silco's lips. How funny. This wasn't the first time that Richard found himself in situation like this. Making a contract of sorts over intimacy and affection. With Buckingham the sex and affection were the price that they both sacrificed as a proof of their conviction. They would lie together and partake in the grave offense against the God's might, while also scheming and plotting a high treason.
With Silco, however? The closeness was the transient light that they both grasped towards in the darkness. And what was the sacrificial lamb that they offered on the altar? Promises of loyalty. Whatever that meant. Honestly, the way the other man laid the conditions in front of him did it all sound like a proposal of sort. After all, there were rarely a lover who would dare to make a request for exclusivity if they did not have official claim for the other person. Richard would have found it funny if it wasn't for the heavy shadow in his heart, keeping him tethered to someone else despite them being worlds apart.
Richard would not be able to give Silco half of his soul, nor heart. Not when they both belonged to someone else. But surely the other man knew that? Despite his conditions. Then again, he doubts that his lover would want them anyway.
He takes steps back and allows Silco to push him against the tile wall, his hands dropping from man's face on his shoulders. Richard could feel the heat radiating from Silco, spreading to his own body -- feeling himself loaning bits and pieces of the fire from the other one. Closing his eyes Richard parts his lips ever so slightly, welcoming the gentle kiss.
Silco is right. If the other one betrays him, one way or another, Richard will hunt him down.
When the kiss breaks Richard blinks his eyes and finally speaks, voice barely loud than whisper]
[There were many things about Richard in the weight of silence that he didn't know. He expected the reverse was certainly true, but he was willing to bridge the gap and take the first step in hopes that Richard might eventually share as the younger man now and again when they had first met and shown curiosity towards each other.
Perhaps that shame of him being gutterblood would come to the surface. Until then, he had to assume that Richard would tolerate whatever low born status meant, especially in a place where they were no kings or dukes or whatever other silly titles people gave themselves. This place was about what people did or didn't do, what they made of themselves even if it was troublesome.
His hands slid down from Richard's cheeks as their kiss broke, palms stroking either side of the column of the younger man's neck. One hand dropped away to reach out to take one of Richard's in his own. He brought it between them so he could set his lover's hand over the round scar in the middle of his chest. It was a wound that had killed him before he arrived here.
He made a soft hmm noise of contemplation.]
My daughter gave me this scar and the one above. She hadn't meant to, but in the confusion of the moment, I received these wounds.
[He hadn't told anyone that. There were only two conscious people present when he died: Jinx and Vi. It was his secret, the one he carried each day without malice towards his daughter.]
[Richard isn't exactly sure what he was expecting to hear from Silco. Just what kind of dark secret could he be harboring under that calm exterior, and willing to lift the veil enough to have Richard a peek? Well. Whatever his initial thought and expectations were they certainly hadn't gotten anywhere close to the truth.
Fingertips circled around the very familiar scars. Ever since laying his eyes on the injuries on Silco's chest Richard had been very intrigued by them. They were similar yet still so different to scars he'd seen in his own world. But now he could understand their nature a little better, thanks to Mr. Valentine's training. He had seen the damage that bullets could do to different surfaces - and only could only imagine the pain of being on the receiving end.
The revelation does move something in Richard's mind. The neutrality softening in his eyes once again as he lowers his gaze from the man's face to the injuries. He parts his lips slightly as if to say something, but the words die before he can even let out a sound. A flock of questions sprang to his mind, loudest ones being How and Why? Richard was now certain that the girl was indeed a thorn. Something that poisoned the man's mind and will, eating away his ambition and life. Surely, Silco saw this too. So why was she still there and not cut off?
However, the mention of the confusing moment does resonate with him, pulling strings within his core. The sound of shower pouring on them all of the sudden sounded a quite lot like a heavy rain drumming against the thick glass of chapel's windows. Hadn't he done something like this, once upon a time? If Silco could forgive her then maybe,--- No. That thought is best left unfinished.
Richard slides his arm around Silco's frame, pulling the man closer, skin against skin. It is so strange, how all the confusion could just melt away and be replaced by the warm feeling of appreciation. Somehow, he looked up at the man as a father more than before.]
My mother tried to kill me, [He speaks softly, breaking his own silence as he decides to offer something with similar value to the other.] Over and over again. She abandoned me in the forest when I was a child, locked me up in the tower and left me at the mercy of enemy army. She told my secret to lords of royal council in hopes that they would execute me. For that I had to sacrifice my arm. [And yet, despite all the hate between two of them, Richard still could not break free from her. His mother shadow following him even here.] Family is not always perfect.
[His chin tipped down so he could watch Richard touch the round jagged scar on his chest. He knew the younger man had been curious of the old wounds, and he had always been vague about them and the nature of his acquiring them. He supposed they would make more sense now that they had undertaken training with firearms, though he would always prefer a knife.
He expected questions to pull back the veil further on the situation which lead to his own demise at the hands of his daughter. It was an accident in a way, the chaos of the situation driving rational thought from the scene at the click of a firearm which might mean she was under attack. Jinx had never been his target. She reacted on instinct, and he had paid the price for trying to help her by silencing the source of her mental breakdown.
Yet, there were no questions, and he stepped in as that arm wound around him and pulled him in. He didn't resist and pressed Richard against the tiles to feel the warmth and comfort that he found with his lover's body. His fingers stroked down the younger man's side, only to pause when Richard replied with a secret of his own.
He listened, drinking in the information, and mismatched eyes moved to the burnt scarred flesh. He moved his mouth to kiss the top of the scarred shoulder; it seemed that family had given them both many scars. No wonder they found comfort in one another.] Family is never perfect. [He added another kiss the scarred skin.] It doesn't sound like she wanted to kill you herself; she manufactured circumstances in hopes that they might eliminate you but couldn't bring herself to murder her own child. It sounds like you were her thorn as much as she was yours.
[He lifted his head to rest it against Richard's forehead again, peering into those mismatched eyes. A part of this reminded him of Vander, of the failed attempt to murder him and then the other man letting him live once he escaped.] Perhaps the failed attempts by those we cared about are simply us being their shame. Our living on forces them to face a part of themselves they despise... and yet, I expect a part of us still cares for them....
[The press of lips against his scarred skin felt almost ticklish, his damaged nerve-endings reaction to the touch by making the arm twitch a little. It was still somewhat jarring to have such gentle and affectionate gestures displayed towards his injury, despite the mutilation twisting it unsightly and unbearable. Yet another reminder that his body was not one for the light. 'These are the markings of the King,' that is how Buckingham had called the fresh burns on his flesh, kissing them with full of devotion and love. He could not sense the same kind of worship from Silco -- hell, he wasn't sure if the man was even capable of such notion. But still, there was something else present here even if he could not name it. Was it pity? Or maybe... empathy?
A small, almost an inaudible sound leaves from Richard's lips as Silco's words reaches to his ears. The other man did know the whole context. And how hard it would be for his mother to directly strike at him, seeing how high his position was and how much she, just like Richard himself, feared for her mortal soul. But that hadn't stopped her. There had been the case when she had attacked him and aimed for his life. If it hadn't been Buckingham and Catesby, she probably would have succeeded. And yet.. The subtle hint that provoked a daring thought that maybe there could be another reason why his mother hadn't been able to end his life.
His heart swells, the corners of his eyes burning as the tears threatened to force their way out. With his throat tight Richard found himself loss at words. So he just swallows air and tightens his embrace around Silco's frame.
No. He could not dwell on this thought or he'll fall apart.]
But.. You forgave her. [He says weakly, trying to tamper down emotions that were fighting to get a hold of him. While Richard might have poor opinion of Jinx he still respected the bond that she and Silco shared, finding it precious.] Tell.. Tell me more about the night and her confusion.
[Anyone who had to endure scars as extensive as this was someone he didn't mind being around; they understood the pain and suffering of that kind of healing and it was not something that could be explained. Pain on that level had to be experienced. Scars told a story about what someone endured, some good, some bad, some accidental or some purposeful. This arm fit in well with the other mismatch of Richard's body, and if anything he found it even more endearing to touch. Much like how his facial scarring defined him; Richard's arm could define the younger man.
The sound of water hitting them and the floor hid the sound that Richard made regardless of how close his ear was. He did feel the slightly shift of air against his shoulder of course, but as there were no words to follow and instead arms tightening around him, he could understand. He wondered if anyone had discussed such things with Richard before. He then wondered if the younger man would be open to, a slow pondering of the antics of those who wished them harm and ruin.
He turned his face so he could kiss Richard's temple in response, staying physically close for the time being.]
My daughter... yes. [He left the words hanging there. Truth be told, it was easy to forgive Jinx for that incident. Vander was another story, a painful one where a part of him had forgiven the other man and another part relished giving back just a fraction of the pain and suffering that he had endured. A story for another time perhaps.]
You want to hear about the night that I died, do you? We'll surely run out of hot water before that tale comes to a close. Come, let's get out of the shower, and I will provide the abridged version. Or would you prefer to stay for it?
[He never denied enjoying stories and speeches, of course. This was very... personal, laying bare one of his many secrets.]
Just to preface, I was tied to a chair and gagged for most of it.
[It is truly only so often that one can find another soul who understands the necessity of having to sacrifice part of your body. Someone else who's resolve is strong enough to carry both the physical and mental toll it takes on them. And yet, not regretting the choice behind it, willing to do it again if the situation were to call for it. So far Silco had given vague reasons for his own mutilation, something about betrayal of sorts, but something told Richard that the other man would not hesitate to repeat it if it meant that he could reach the heights he had. At least that was the case for Richard.
Richard presses his forehead against Silco's front, burying his face into the column of the older man's neck. There is something very calming in feeling the other man's heartbeat against his own chest and the faint breeze of breath on ear. They smooth the ripples caused by anxiety, quieting down the trepidation of his own rapid heartbeat. The kiss against his temple does cause him lose the tension from his body, relaxing against Silco.
He might not be out of the wooden maze yet, he never was, but the tight embrace that caged him against the cool tile walls did create a small bubble just for them -- keeping Richard away from the nightmares.
He almost didn't want to let go, preferring to stay in this comforting darkness with the other. That is, of course, until Silco's another revelation forced his attention back to the present, drawing his attention to the shower that he had nearly forgotten about. The calmness in him is short-lived as the mention of his initial death is brought up. His chest tightens all of the sudden, making his stomach drop. Hesitantly, Richard lifts chin, unsure eyes looking up at the other man.
Why? Why did this drag out such strong reaction out of him? Richard already knew that Silco had died in his own world. And he had assumed that the bullet wounds were part of that story. So, why did this shook him so?]
Aye. Let us move. [He whispers and dibs his head down to press a gentle kiss on the upper wound.] I shall listen to and carry whatever darkness you have to share.
[He slowly disentangled one arm from holding Richard so that he could turn off the water of the shower, leaving them holding each other in the quiet steam for a moment longer. He tipped his chin to peer at the younger man, his one eyebrow drawing down and towards his nose in a frown at the uncertainty in Richard's expression.
The hand that had shut off the shower moved in to cup the younger man's cheek, stroking his thumb under Richard's eye as he tried to discern the shift. Had the mother tied him up as a boy? Gagged him so he couldn't call for help? He was reminded of the Doctor's words out of context here, 'sometimes death is a mercy'. She might not have killed her son, but he had seen the torment one could inflict on another time and time again, especially children. Tied to a chair in a corner wasn't an uncommon 'time-out'.
He mentally prompted himself to lean down and kiss the top of Richard's head before he pulled them both off of the wall. With his arm still around Richard, he pulled them to the edge of the shower where he could grab a towel and drape it over the younger man's head and shoulders, stepping away enough to hand off the edges to Richard.]
I had saved her from certain death, but the effects left her mind paranoid. She overhead a conversation that lead her to believe that I would betray her when the opposite was true. [If she had simply done her usual minor physical assault to get answers, he could have explained. Instead, her paranoia had driven her to use more force than usual to rendered him unconscious.] As I'm sure you know, politics can be... dramatic. She felt she had to make a choice between who she used to be and who she was with myself and someone she was sisters with. [Is, was, no difference to him.] Her and myself were tied to chairs to prevent escape; I was gagged and there was another who... was a source of conflict between Jinx and her sister.
[His hands lifted and rub the towel over Richard's hair like this was a perfectly normal conversation. Truth be told, he kept his hands busy to distract himself from remembering the details.] I don't know if she intended to let me speak at all at first. She did eventually remove the gag, but the situation became out of control when one escaped bindings and leveled a weapon at Jinx. She defended herself. The sister...
[He trailed off, his jaw working before he shook his head to pull himself out of the memory. Jinx had always responded to him, the steady calm that he brought to her episodes. He knew all the signs of her falling into the voices, the hallucinations, the confused terror that came with them when they were beyond reasoning. Instinctively, he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, then realized his tell and dropped his hand away.]
Family can be the ties that bind or the ones that break everything apart... Come, let's get you out of the shower.
[When the shower is cut off it doesn't take long for the warm steam to evaporate around them. The chill air against his damp skin causes shivers to ran through Richard's spine, making him shudder. But yet, despite of it all, he did not feel the least cold when standing in there, on the arms of the other man. The almost uncharacteristically gentle kiss on top of his head manages to quell some of the anxieties storming in his mind, chasing away some of the restlessness from his body. While the gesture might for Silco's sake, calming his nerves as he tries to find a way to approach the dark tale of his past, it definitely is smart move considering Richard's state. When they finally pull apart from the embrace, Richard does not fret nor fear, instead of only looking down at their joined hands as they walk across the bathroom.
The forest is not as threatening anymore.
He pulls the blanket further on himself, and turns his eyes back up to Silco. There still traces of distress in his face, brows knitted together into a frown as he listens to the story that the other man weaves to him. Richard bows his head down just a notch as Silco proceeds to dry off his hair, but other than that he stays still like a statue, allowing his companion to take the time and space he needs to finish his words.
There is something very familiar in the scene that Silco describes to him. Of course, he could not really relate to the dramatic confrontation with the hostages, but other than that? Having to choose which direction to go, which voice to listen to. Which future to choose for himself. Both Joan and father leading him to different paths towards to Henry. Choosing George's fate. Buckingham pinning him down on the bed of rose petals, forcing the darkness out of him.
His thoughts led him to the first time when Silco had talked to him about his death. And how he had chosen to spend his last moments before the angel of death had claimed him. Closing his eyes, Richard reaches to take Silco's hand to his own and brings it up to against his cheek, leaning into it and nuzzling gently to it.]
I feel my respect towards you grown ten-fold. [He says, voice soft and gentle -- just like the brief kiss he places on middle of Silco's palm.] I see you found the light and held it in your hands.
[While Richard did seem calmer, he noted the obvious expression of distress on the younger man's face and considered leaving the story there. He expected that whatever he had to say next may be the most triggering part for Richard who seemed to suffer similar internal struggles when pushed in certain directions. He was aware that Richard had an interesting family with the way the younger man praised the father and described his two brothers and now he had insight to Richard's mother.
His words trailed off as his hand was moved and placed against his lover's cheek, stretching his fingers so that Richard could nuzzle his palm. He blinked in mild surprise at the words. People respected him because they feared him for the most part. He was used to be questioned or disparaged for how he treated his daughter, the lengths he would go to and the opportunities he would provide for her despite her own behaviour making her difficult at times.] No, I don't think so. My path has always led me to exist and thrive in darkness. My daughter is the one person that perhaps showed some light to me, but we also exist in darkness together.
[His fingers curled to caress the side of Richard's face where the younger man was nuzzling him. He didn't try to remove his hand from that grip, closing his blue eye as he recalled the sharp details of that tea party.]
Her sister has a habit ramming through all situations and making them worse. She tried to push my daughter to remembering painful past memories, to remember being a person who had to be put to rest for Jinx to exist. Those memories and all the monsters that come with them sent Jinx into a confused tormented episode. I tried to stop it, but tied up... I was limited, but previous fortuitous events put a weapon close to me. So I tried to silence that ignorant stupid girl, but... Jinx when she is in such a state is very reactive. [He paused to sigh again as this part was hazy when everything happened so fast. If only he hadn't missed that shot...] In the act of defending Jinx, she simply reacted as I assume she thought she was in danger and turned her weapon on me...
[He shook his head, leaning his head closer to Richard's for a moment. He remembered that pain, the struggle to breathe, the shock of realizing he was going to die with his empire at his feet with no way to salvage. Dying the in darkness where he deserved he supposed.] And then I ended up here....
[Richard has never feared a man. A mere human could not hold a light to a candle that were the demons accompanying his every waking moment. As long as it was made of flesh and bone, Richard knew he could cut through it. There was no reason for him to be afraid of such thorns. No, Richard's respect, as rare it was, stemmed from the admiration and love. And Silco held at least one of those qualities currently.
The skin of Silco's palm feels nice and rough against Richard's softness of cheek. He slid his own much smaller hand on top of Silco's, holding the touch close as he listened the rest of the story.
The other man was right to assume that there would be bits and pieces that did resonate with Richard. He knew very well what it was like to be lost on that fog. Scrambling through the thick forest with no light to guide his way, grasping on the smallest sliver of hope while also seeing shadows of dangers at every turn. The only way out of that nightmare was ice cold death, destroying part themselves with it. For Richard it had been Henry. For Jinx. Apparently Silco.
He could understand.]
I.. look nothing like my father or brothers. [He says softly after Silco finishes his story.] They were all big and strong. Fair hair, muscles of steel and handsome faces. Like the valiant heroes from the stories of the past. [They were beautiful, beings of like. Unlike him. And Silco. Richard slowly opens his eyes and looks up to Silco again -- the initial distress now mellowed down.] And yet, the bond we shared was stronger than with anyone else, the most special. He was my light. And I see the same between you and your daughter. [A hint of admiration raises to his voice as he says the last sentence. He has no doubt that Silco is the light to Jinx and vice versa. Now how did this revelation affect to how Richard felt about the duo? Despite this new born sympathy towards the girl he still couldn't claim to like her, not with her antics and harassment. And he wasn't convinced that she wasn't yet another thorn on Silco's side.]
You are here now. And still support her. I find that respectable.
Edited (What an embarrassing typo) 2024-09-28 19:46 (UTC)
[Over the course of their interactions, he had noticed similarities between Richard and Jinx when it came to their mental torments. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he had first taken notice aside from the scarring, though Richard had a silent control of his afflictions until the younger man went berserk such as with the communicator.
A part of him wondered if Richard had lost control and killed someone close, or if that control had been maintained and only lashed out during war and battles. He hadn't asked and now didn't seem like the appropriate time to do so. They had finally reached a calm and a compromise of secret exchange to build their situation upon.
And perhaps for others and Richard himself, such a declaration would be upsetting and suspicious. For Silco, family was less about blood and more about association and ties that bound. Adoption was very common given the high mortality rate in the Undercity.] And you do not find your own appearance to their level then? Dark haired, lithe and athletic with a moody air about you? I expect you still strike a handsome pose when leading your troops to war against your family's enemies. [He shrugged and curled his fingers against Richard's cheek.] I prefer your look compared to what you described from your other family members.
[He nodded his head at the mention of light, slowly formulating what it meant given the often references to it. He found it clear that the younger man had a special bond with his late father.] Where I am from family is what you make of it, not the blood that runs in your veins. Adults die in the mines or other means, leaving their children to find their own way. People make family together, as I did with Jinx. It's the bond that's important, isn't it?
[He hummed, nodding his head. Whether it was respected or not, he could continue to support his only child for as long as she needed him to. He did it for him too, of course, finding and being possessive over the family unit that he had made with her.]
You support your own son in such a way? Or is he simply the heir for namesake and little more than that?
[He moved to grab the other towel for himself, draping it over one shoulder as until he could claim his hand back. He was not in that much of a hurry to do so, liking the feel of Richard's warm smooth skin under his fingers.]
[The corners of his lips slowly curl up, imitating a smile but never quite reaching it. He supposes that only a man like Silco could say something like that. But that was because they were the same, the lurkers of darkness. Richard supposes that getting too close to from light would be too blinding for them.] Handsome and inspiring, yes. Until you look closer and see the demon horns.
[There is a hint of defeatism in that admittance. Richard closed his eyes, pressing his face against the warmth of Silco's palm, enjoying from the simple affection. It wasn't in his intention to make the moment about him. Silco had just revealed a hurtful scar of his past. So Richard had decided to do the same. Both of them again sharing yet another raw and vulnerable moment together. Like during the night they had found each other for the first time.
Richard doesn't try to stop Silco from moving away, allowing the hand slip away from his own. He grabs the edges of the towel and pulls is more securely around himself.]
Once he is old enough, yes. If he'll have me. [The jury was still admittedly out on that matter. Richard barely knew the small child living in his castle and carrying his name and legacy. A heavily necessary part of his plans and ambitions, yet there was no connection between them. Or so Richard wanted to believe. The distant memory of the small body crying in the darkness, looking for comfort from him instead of Anne.] In any case, I believe he will grow up to be a fine man.
Hmm, no that's not it. Horns or no, you're still beautiful. [He had once gone for those larger and wider than himself, people who could offer a manner of protection with their physicality. These days he paid people to fit that role and had no use for them as a manner of attraction. Richard might not believe his candor, but it was truth. Richard was opposite to what he was normally attracted to, and he expected that was why they were making it work. There was a beauty and a grace he hadn't seen in others; maybe it was that royal blood or something.
He grabbed the towel and quickly dried off his short hair before wrapping the towel around his waist. Soon enough, he would have to dress and leave to spend time with his daughter, obligations he was yet unwilling to miss.
Until that time though, he stayed close to Richard in the bathroom.] Does he carry aspects of your appearance, or does he take many of his characteristics from his mother? [Silco had his suspicions about Richard's child, but they remained completely unvoiced. For him, it didn't matter. Being a parent was a duty not suited to everyone; he had believed it didn't suit him for a very long time.]
[This is not the first time when Silco had called him beautiful, directly or not. It had been that acceptance born from fearless curiosity towards the abnormalities of Richard's body that had caught his interest. There had been no judgement or disdain from the older man when Richard had revealed his body to him for the first time.
However, unlike the previous times, the words did not quite reach him. There is no hope blossoming in his chest, no shy warmth spreading to his cheeks or desire rekindling within him. Instead, there was almost a sad hum of acknowledgement from him, fingers curling around the soft edges of the towel. 'Beautiful with or without horns,' or so he says. Richard can't help but wonder what he would say if he truly saw his brothers, wrapped in golden light. Would Silco be mesmerized by their beauty or run away from their blinding light.
He's not entirely sure what he feels about the subject moving to his young son. But he supposed that it was normal for parents to talk about their children. But the boy was basically a stranger to him. Yet another person that he kept at arm's length]
He is like a spitting image of his mother. [He nods, stepping outside of the bathroom now that they're both dry.] He was born during the time of peace, so he has had more freedom than what me and my brothers did in our childhood. And so far it appears that his interests lie in different subjects as I did at his age.
[Silco was perceptive enough to know what that sort of reaction meant, and he knew that his lover internalized considerable self hatred and struggled to 'measure up' to what would be considered 'a real man'. That was fine; neither he nor Richard measured up to the typical socially accepted standards of revered manhood. Perhaps that was why their jagged pieces fit so well together thusfar.]
Don't do that, Richard. [He followed the younger man from the bathroom, reaching out to stroke his fingertips across the back of Richard's shoulders.] You are my lover, and my attraction to you is multifaceted, which does include your body exactly as it is. What other people think or even the idea of physical ideals is to chain you to misery. You are beautiful to me.
[Building Richard's confidence was one of his personal projects. He expected the younger man could thrive with a constant encouraging force that would not walk away or wane. They might even have all the time in the world to do it.]
So you have trouble bonding with him then? I was the same with Jinx when she first came into my life. [Miller was the only other person he could talk to about parenthood. He noticed Richard took very little interest in the responsibilities but perhaps that was his station. He wouldn't know.]
[ He feels the press of the fingertips on his shoulder through the fabric of the towel. Richard turns his head to side to look at Silco, hints of confusion on his face. 'Do what?' He almost asks, but before even a sound can leave from him he thinks he catches on the meaning. He's shutting off into the maze of his own mind again, closing the doors and windows around him. This isn't the first time Silco has called him out on this behavior, is it?
For a brief second Richard lets his eyes wander around the features of Silco's face. And for that short-lived moment he allows something raw and vulnerable to be reflected in his eyes as he tries to form his thoughts. He's never really been in a situation like this, not even with Buckingham. There was times when his kingmaker would look for answers to his silence, but never like this. So direct and perceptive. Was this what having a lover without any premeditated goals was like?
And just like always when Richard fell short of words, he submitted to silence. Suddenly the topic of parenthood seemed rather appealing.]
[This time, Silco didn't call out the silence. The look that Richard gave him was answer enough, knowing the younger man realized what was happening and maybe not correct it but not contest it either. Without further word, he stepped in to press his chest to Richard's back, sliding his arms around the younger man's waist so he could lace his own hands together.
As a point of accepting the silence and the vulnerability that came with the silence, he simply hooked his chin over Richard's shoulders and remained a close presence. Nothing more, nothing less. That was as far as that portion of the conversation had to go, but he remained willing if his lover wished to pursue further.
He considered for a long quiet moment the question, and then he simply shrugged his bare shoulders.]
Not back then. She was... a mess. I provided her a home, a family and all the protections she needed. My attachment to her came... later. Yes, I felt an initial draw, but I didn't fully embrace being her parent until months into it. At first, I expected her to run away. We... didn't have much in common, but I provided her the space to simply exist with me if she chose to. Then I provided opportunity to rise above all those who doubted her.
Once I found myself attached? I did fear her rejection. I was a monster and I had to do terrible things to get what I wanted. I did it, and I don't regret any of it. If she rejected me, well... it was never meant to be, was it?
[Taking a deep breath Richard allows himself to rest against the other man, the slender fingers curling around the larger ones as he indulges in the embrace. The arms around him felt strong and warm, wrapping him into a protective hold. When was last time he had something like this? He and Silco had shared plenty of intimate moments with each other, bodies clashing together in heated passion -- but never quite like this. Closeness without assumption of sex or anything else. Just comfort.
Closing his eyes, Richard listens to Silco's words and looking for similarities between their experiences. And oh, it appears that there are more common ground than what he had initially believed.
When Anne's pregnancy had become obvious Richard hadn't wasted a second to claim responsibility for it. It had been like a gift from above, saving him from lot of scrutiny and doubts towards his person. He needed an heir and Anne had offered him one on silver platter. Originally, he had planned the boy to be just that. A just another set piece in the theater he called life - no feelings, no attachments. But then again.. Being held like this and listening to Silco's talking about his daughter made him think back to that one silent night, where the small boy had sought comfort and love from him. As a child would from parent.]
You never told me... Why did you take her in to begin with? [Silco wasn't like him. He wasn't tied into the expectations of society, nor did he care for importance of blood. If he truly hadn't wished for a daughter, why not just leave the girl to die?]
[It was strange standing here like this, right? It wasn't a normal that he expected to have or actually initiate. It seemed to him that all those mental reminders were clearly paying off, and he had found himself growing more and more comfortable in these kinds of interactions. If he allowed himself to think about it, they both seemed to be growing rather comfortable together in such a way.
On the topic of parenthood, it wasn't particularly one that was with equal sharing. After all, Silco was very pleased and proud to be a father, which seemed so opposite to how he had been two decades ago. His city welcomed people that took in children, and they didn't dissuade those took advantage of child labour either.
His arms tightened around Richard's waist at the question.]
We shared a similar moment of violent abandonment by our first families. [For once, he didn't take the opportunity to over talk the matter.] Did you hold him when he was born? Your son?
[There is a small trepidation aching in Richard's chest at the mention of "abandonment." The tension flares up in his body, trapping the air in his lungs and making his throat feel painfully tight. And once again, he could not stop the howling wind rustling the leaves of dark woods. He could see the shadows of the trees raising again, reaching for them. There was no denying it... Richard felt sad. But for who?
Instead of addressing those thoughts he focuses on Silco's question. How... How had it gone again?]
Not.. Not right away. [He swallows around his words, thinking back to that moment.] I wasn't there when Anne went in labor. I was only allowed inside when it was over. That is common practice in my world among the nobles. But yes, I did hold him, then. [What kind of father wouldn't hold his newborn heir? It had been all an act. The small human being sleeping in his arms, all while he exchanged knowing looks with each other. They both accepted the child.]
Do you think it is weird? That this body of mine could produce something like that. A normal human being.
[He understood from select conversations that abandonment was a sore topic for the pair of them. Perhaps it was why he didn't elaborate in case it triggered his lover, and perhaps the moment itself couldn't be explained well in words without a considerable amount of very private backstory.
He nodded his head, accepting the explanation without judgement. He could claim to have held exactly zero babies in his life, and he wasn't looking for any opportunity to do so. His daughter had been fully functional when he had first held her there on the wet ground with the rain pouring on them. He had promised to protect her then.]
I doubt that's uncommon where I'm from either. It seems to me that men tend to get in the way for such events. [He credited Richard for holding the newborn at all. He expected they were small and fragile; it was probably some manner of sick joke or miracle he and Richard had survived infancy.
He regarded Richard, considering the question and shrugging.] No, it's not. Besides, being a father is more than impregnating a woman. [If Richard could produce children, then he expected that Richard couldn't carry a child. Just as well, as the younger man leaned more heavily on that male side. Who was he to judge for it?]
[The similarities between two of them kept increasing after each discussion, it seems. Though, strangely enough it stopped Richard to think just how little he knew of Silco and his past. The man spoke proudly of Zaun and his daughter, but only so rarely muttered a word about himself. Something Richard was guilty of as well. But unlike the other man, Richard didn't seek out the answers to the mysteries - preferring to focus on the present than in the past.
However, it would be a lie to say that his disregard for his lovers past wasn't colored at least somewhat by their class differences. No matter how much he admired and found the other man intriguing Silco still was a peasant compared to him. Hardships and tragedies were part of their lives, struggles engraved on their backs by the hard work and scarcity of the resources. And yet, Richard found his heart aching in solidarity at the thought of the abandonment that the man must've gone through.
Closing his eyes, Richard leaned his head against Silco's cheek - lulling into the embrace. He might be in the forest, but for now he could tell that he wasn't alone.
There's a small smile on his lips at the statement. As much as Richard valued bloodlines and such, he couldn't help but agree with Silco. The man was as true father to his daughter as Richard's had been to him.]
And yet. Impregnating a woman is the true measure of the man. [Something that Richard didn't know if he was capable of. And quite frankly? He was too terrified to find out the true limitations of this cursed body.
Swallowing air he remembered Silco's words from the earlier. My attraction to you is multifaceted. And that he liked him just as he was. But he still couldn't help but ask:] Which one you like, then? A man or woman?
[Betrayal stung. It was a fact of life that it shaped their lives regardless of where they came from or who they associated with. He didn't particularly want to bring up the reason for it or the person who had been so important that abandonment had stung and wounded him that deeply. He had mostly gotten over it by now, of course, but he understood the pain of that, especially when Jinx had come into his life.
He had ached for Vander to admit he was right. He had desired the other man to join him in taking it to Piltover together as they had discussed all those years ago. Instead, he had been left empty for both of those, and found a shivering crying child who had suffered a similar rejection that how could he not see himself in her?
His arms tightened as a little embrace from where they were fixed around his lover's waist, and he was staring off across the room as he felt Richard nestled further into his embrace. However, he snorted in amusement at the statement, rolling his eyes. It was true but also ridiculous.]
But should it be? If being a man comes down to a single climax into a woman, we should be rethinking our standards of maleness. [He had never sired a child, and he never had any intention of it, not even when he was young and could consider the value of a family. After all, his own background soured him to the notion; was his father truly a man for paying his mother for sex and happening to hit the mark? So illogical.
He lifted his chin a little from Richard's shoulder so he could turn his gaze on his lover. He supposed that question hadn't come out of the blue entirely, given the current topic of conversation.] I like both. I'm bisexual. [He tipped his temple to rest on Richard's again.] Hence why I say you are the best of both worlds. [A beat.] Do you have a preference between male and female?
[It was ridiculous, especially when put in words like that. But Richard had never really thought to challenge the thought before, just assuming it to be right as he went along with the currents of the world, acting the role he had been given in the society.] My brothers never did as much as scoff at my appearance, despite falling short on the standards of manhood. Nay, his Majesty believed that the measure of a man was not decided by the size of his muscles, but by the approval of women and strength of his seed.
[Something that he had found equally ridiculous at the time, believing himself that the manhood was proved by the strength of his blade. George, as usual, hadn't had much to say - escaping to his drink. Richard's stance on the matter hadn't changed. Man who didn't fight was no man at all.
Feeling the subtle shift in the body behind him, Richard slowly opened his eyes, peeking underneath his long lashes. There was that word again. "Bisexual". Richard had seen it thrown around the network. It had been also used by AI to describe him in that bizarre person catalogue. So, that's what it meant. And well, to be frank, it didn't surprise him the least that Silco was one to embrace sin and sodomy. But he had assumed that there was something specific he was looking for when laying with him.]
No. I.. I have never thought about it. [Which was true. Richard could find women beautiful and men handsome - but there had always been very little attraction on his part. The people he preferred were those who he could be himself with.]
[Silco audibly scoffed at the ideas of 'his betters' sitting upon a throne in some place no one reasonably cared about preaching about things that one might have the liberty to at the cost of everyone downhill from that position. Of course, he would have opinions, but he wisely decided not to voice them all that much at this point in time.] Well then, I suppose I fall very far below his standards. Fitting given I doubt his majesty would never give me a second look to start with.
[And that was just as well too. He was far better at stabbing the rich in the back or taking his own personal wars to them by any means necessary. He remained there still holding Richard, and he found himself wondering what Richard's version of manhood was. The younger man expressed others opinions after all, likely based around society's expectations.]
What do you consider a good measure of a man then?
[He hummed softly, not surprised that Richard hadn't considered a preference. He supposed when one spent that long hiding themselves away and going silent to having an overt opinion at times on top of a seemingly conservative repressed society, determining one's sexual preferences was high on the list of priorities.]
You seem the type to care less about one's sex and more about intellectual or someone that makes you feel comfortable. Am I at all close?
I am not too sure about that. As long as you have what he wants I could see him thinking of you favorably.
[That being women and wine, of course. As the owner of such establishment as The Last Drop, which worked as a nest of debauchery, he could see both of his brothers want to keep Silco close to them. But Richard had to admit to himself that he found the thought of Silco meeting his family amusing. The man would no doubt absolutely loath them, but would be smart enough not to show his claws - at least not until he had milked them dry. But then again, despite the fall from grace, neither of his brothers were that naive. It would be interesting to follow the three of them play around each other. Of course it would also put him in a hard place where loyalties go. But he has to admit that he misses such thrill.
There's a small pause as Richard thinks over Silco's question, trying to figure out his answer. There is, of course, a correct answer to be given here. A true man's worth is measured by his words, actions and strength of his soul -- how good and honest he is. But Richard didn't care for such things. It wasn't like he was one.]
...Such matters do not interest a demon like me. Whatever ever the true measure of a man or a woman is has nothing to do with me.
[His free hand moves to grab on Silco's wrist, the long fingers curling around it securely. It's just like the other man had said, such arbitrary standards set by society were nothing but chains. Something that he had once already set out to break when he had decided to grasp for the light.]
I suppose you are right. Are you worried about my attraction to you?
Is that so? Everyone has a price, and almost everyone can be bought. I expect your family would be much the same.
[There was always something to be tempted by, and if one didn't have the focus, they could lose themselves in that pull to whatever it was that each individual desired. It was generally base wants and needs. Perhaps he could put a King under his thumb eventually, though he doubted that would happen. However, it was foolish to think that one made it that high and didn't have methods to remain in power.
He snorted and pulled Richard back against him harder, turning his face to kiss the younger man's neck. That was the most avoidant answer he had heard in awhile, and yet, it was so totally Richard that he actually found it endearing on some level.]
Your evasion is endearing, as always. Though, I suppose it doesn't matter in the long wrong. Neither one of us measure up to society's standards, and that is better. We are who we are, and it provides us both an edge if people are so bound by foolishness.
[He gave up his wrist to Richard without a fight, though he did gently nudge them forward with his hips so they could move further into the house yet remained close to one another. Soon they would have to dress... or perhaps not.]
Not particularly. You've had plenty of opportunity to walk away to bask in far more physically attractive and younger people than I, and yet here you remain. I must be doing something right to hold your attention.
There is no soul that is above temptation. All you need to do is figure out what their poison is. [The meeting with Bishop of Ely had taught him that. Even the servant of God was weak to the bribe when the right dish was placed in front of him. And well, in this holy man's case it was body of a girlish man. And his brothers were easier to figure out than that. If Silco played his cards right he would no doubt have people like Edward and George securely in his pocket.
The brush of lips against his neck brings goosebumps to his skin, sending shivers briefly down his back. Richard turns his head to side to take a look at the man behind him, giving him a puzzled look. He's not entirely sure what of his behavior is so 'endearing' to the other man.
The implication that there'd be others who Richard would seek out for the intimacy makes him scoff. As if there would even be someone else who'd even want to touch someone like him. No. Only another monster that lives in darkness could truly accept him and his ugliness.]
You are letting your own feelings to cloud your judgement, Silco. [Well. If the man had made one thing clear it was that he was, for reason or another, attracted to Richard. While his lover was not necessarily the most beautiful or handsome out there, but he did not doubt that he couldn't find himself someone else to stand by his side. A real man or a woman.
His fingers caressed the bare skin on Silco's wrist idly, turning to look up at the light shining from the windows, piercing through the forest of his mind.]
It seems like we are being betrayed by the morning.
It is true. We all have our weaknesses. [Neither he nor Richard were immune to it as well, and he knew that both of them had to be on guard for malefactors who would make a play against one or both of them at some point. He had no doubt both of them were not above using such tactics on other Chosen and the natives here whenever it suited them.
He hummed, not certain that Richard's assessment was accurate. The younger man came from a heavily repressed society, or perhaps his was so intermixed with both different species but also people who could be whoever or whatever they wanted.] I don't believe so. You underestimate your attraction to others, I expect.
[He nodded his head, leaving his wrist to Richard's fingers.]
[Richard is not sure how much he would agree with that. There was not much in the world that would appeal to him enough to make him lose his focus anymore. His one true desire was the light, the overwhelming and ultimate power that came with it. And there was nothing he wouldn't sacrifice for his desire, not allowing himself to be led astray no more. He was not foolish to hope anymore.
Men were weak to the temptation, but what about demons?]
They might be fooled by exterior, yes. But once they see what is inside they will run and despair. [He had seen it happen enough of times. His body was one that not even a prostitute would want to touch.
The morning rays burned away the dark cloth of the night, bringing their bodies into the light. He has matters to attend, doesn't he. Just as Silco does. Time to put an end to the little world of theirs for now.
Letting go of Silco's wrist Richard reaches to touch his lovers face.]
As do you. [Then, despite not wanting it, Richard pulls himself free from the embrace and walks towards the bedroom.] Come. Let us dress. Your daughter must be waiting for your return.
[Perhaps no truer words had been spoken by his lover. He made a soft noise of agreement, reminded again what had brought them together in the first place. A curiosity of two terrible people in each other that others would not dare delving that deep with. Yet, this body with all of its uniqueness paired with Richard's hints of ambition and similar traumas were deeply attractive to him.
So much so that he curled his arms around the younger man one last time for a brief squeeze. No one could pull in a monster quite like another, it seemed. Perhaps even their goals might align someday and wouldn't that just be a treat?]
I won't. I see you, and it doesn't frighten or discourage me. [He slowly dropped his arms away again.] Of course, running has never been an activity I enjoy, and despair is something I actively avoid.
[He leaned into the touch to his face, enjoying the fleeting contact. Richard was now the only one he would allow to touch him like this. Would it become a weakness that he would pay for? Only time would tell.
He followed his lover to the bedroom where his folded clothing awaited.]
Of course. She will potentially need to have another go at me this morning. No matter, I will deal with it. [Because it was his responsibility, and he didn't shy from it.] We keep things as they are between us and myself with her. I'll come by tonight once I've concluded my business.
[Arms tightening around his slender frame feels good. There's something very comforting in being held like this, the strength of the other man wrapping him into a protective embrace - shielding him from the dark voices that would seek out to drag him into their world. There's a soft, warm feeling blooming in Richard's chest and he feels his mood improving.]
One of these days I shall give you a good run. [He says, hint of amusement sneaking into his voice. There's even a small ghost of a smile on his lips when he turns to look at Silco, hand caressing the injured side of his face.
When he finally steps away from the other man, Richard expects to be met with instant coldness now that there is no longer warmth of skin against his own. But surprisingly? He is just fine as he walks towards his room. It seems like that the terrors of the night have retreated for now. When he's at the door Richard turns to look over his shoulder, gaze landing on Silco who was only few steps behind him.
His lover. Maybe finally someone who he could truly place his trust on. Someone who will have his back on a upside-down world like this -- and who'll keep all the ghosts and demons away.
He extends his hand out, reaching out to pull Silco into the bedroom with him.]
Please don't. I try to run as little as possible. [He wasn't certain how serious to take the suggestion either, as he thought that Richard would wish to punish him with some form of exercise beyond their usual intimate activities.
He let Richard go, adjusting the towel around his waist as he pulled his thoughts away from the day stretching out ahead. It would be long, but he had something to look forward to aside from long-term planning of his eventual control of the city. He looked up and spied Richard's hand extended towards him.
Hmm, something to look forward to indeed.
He took that hand and didn't fight entering the bedroom. They had a day to maneuver through.]
[ugh, texting. absolutely his least favorite method of communication. right after voice chats. but hey, it's charles. so maybe he could go ahead and try out the new vocabulary junpei had taught him.]
soup, charles.
yes. i am faring well with all the things considered. i hope your expedition did not treat you bad and that you returned back in good health.
he reads that four times in a row before its intended meaning dawns on him — at which point he laughs himself hoarse for two whole minutes, wipes tears of mirth out of his eyes, and writes 'that's so not it' and then backspaces it away; then writes 'i think you mean sup' and then backspaces that as well. maybe he can just..... let that be. ]
glad to hear that. my expedition, uh, right. i'm doing just fine, thanks.
[ what he isn't saying: he and peter almost died in ketsora, the void spat him out in a different place than the rest of his team, caitlyn died, scott turned into his phoenix form, and he returned home with an arrow wound. but he's fine now!! it's all fine — ]
[Richard doesn't claim to get it. But approximately about 85% of the things that people say make no sense to him, so he decided not to question the validity of the soup as greeting]
good. your well being and health are both close to my heart.
my own experiences went moderately well, i'd say. although i must admit that after experiencing the scorching heat of desert i miss cold nights of england.
[ mmm and now he feels bad for laughing... that is so weirdly sweet. not that the sentiment doesn't go both ways, but it's always a little strange when it's directed at him. ]
the same goes to you, too, yeah? when i said i'm glad you're okay, i really meant it.
oh, you went to the desert... ha, yeah. i know what you mean. is it weird i kind of miss all the rain? i was sent to the beach through this portal and even that was... you know, different.
[it's right to love and wish wellness for your king!!]
not at all. missing one's homeland and its scenery is the most natural feeling that a man can have. i pray that this trial of ours will be over soon and that we can both return where we belong to.
yes. these 'terminals ' turned out to be something that i could not have anticipated even in my wildest dreams. but a beach, then? that sounds [wait what is the word junpei used...] fresh.
[ what about loving and wishing wellness for your friend?? ]
right, yeah. returning where we belong, sure
[ quick how do you casually say "actually i'm fine with staying here for an indeterminate amount of time longer, thanks"? you don't, that's what, so he's breezing past that as well — ]
never seen anything like them, either. ended up with a different team than i started with, but i helped this guy called ekko with the one there.
and [ what the absolute hell is going on here, actually, ] i guess you could say that
you won't, you know that, right? there's nothing that you have to be or do for me to care about you, yeah? or nothing you can't do or be. i know you probably think of it differently and that's fine, but you're my friend and you're not letting me down if you lose a duel
so stop thinking like that.
and thanks. i haven't heard of them yet but... only a matter of time, innit
[first of all, he sees a misconception that needs to be corrected.]
i am your king, charles. a weakness in king is a reflection of his people and vice versa. i will not allow my subject to endure the failure of me losing a duel, no matter how trivial it is.
[ from one misconception to another.... maybe, maybe he needs to actually talk about this too instead of employing his usual avoidance tactic. ]
well
you're not though, are you? not really. i'm from england, and you're the king of england, but not when i was alive. not now when i'm dead, either. your subjects lived hundreds of years ago. and i'm gonna continue to treat you like you're the king because that's who you are in your time and i respect that but i'm not
i'm not your responsibility, yeah? you can just live your life here however you want and not worry how it reflects on me, or what i think, or
any of that, really. bloody hell, all i want is that you're happy, okay? because i care about you, richard, the person. not richard the third. i care about you because of you, not because of your... status or whatever
[oh uh. he is not liking this at all. there's clouds of anger raising in richard's mind, the words "you're not" taunting him. there's already plenty of people here looking down on him, the last thing he needs is charles to disregard him.]
i am the king of england, and any citizen of england is my subject no matter the time. unless they are the enemy of the crown and seeking to place a false king on a throne.
[ privately, charles sighs — does he really not get that he doesn't want richard to worry about him because of duty but because he actually, genuinely cares?
no, why would he. he might as well just accept that the only reason richard actually seems to care about him is because he sees him as a subject, and that's it. ]
betray you as in support another to become the king of england?
it warms my heart to see so many names here. you must have adapted well into this world despite all these challenges to have gathered so many companions.
i see. i am glad to hear that. to my knowledge she is a young girl, carrying the weight of a troubled mind. but it sounds like she has been able to direct herself to do good and extend a helping hand.
anyway, enough about me, yeah? you doing alright? whitey make it back okay? don't get on junpei's case about it, please, he disappeared during the reset or right before it, and uh, i was sort of hurt so if anything, it was my fault
worry not. i warned him about whitey's tendency of not respecting the boundaries set by closed doors. i am not least surprised he escaped from his care.
[SORRY CHARLES. You just turned his attention more towards you.]
why'd i come to you about something you can't do anything about? ghost injuries, it's... it's not like we have bandages or anything here that work for me. if i get injured all i need to do is rest and wait for it to heal. it wasn't that i don't trust you, your grace. just, i'd feel right stupid, telling you, hey, i got injured, you can't really do anything about it though
it is true that there is a lot i don't understand about your condition or world. but i do know that even you can get hurt. i might not be able to dress your wounds or make them better, but i would still like to be there for you. support and care for you, to help ease the pain that i can. never feel that there is an issue too mundane or foolish to share with me. you are of great importance to me, i do not want you to be alone.
thanks. i mean it, that means a lot to me. but it's okay, i wasn't alone
and you know that goes both ways, yeah? you're really important to me. guess that's partly why i didn't wanna bother you... but you're right. i'd want to be there for you no matter what too, so i should do the same, shouldn't i? promise i'll try to do better from now on
[You wake up in a courtroom. You’re not really sure how you got here, just that you’re here. There’s Jerry, sitting at the judges box. For some he might be new, and others he might be familiar or semi-familiar. He scrutinizes you, and then motions to the jury box. There’s a plaque that’s sitting on the outside that says “Council”, but there’s no one sitting there. Everything looks clean and maintained, but there’s no one in the courtroom but you and Jerry.
Weird.]
You are charged with existing.
[There’s something about his expression that makes you think that he might’ve already made up his mind…]
The Council has found you Guilty of this. In order to repent and further your rehabilitation, you have been charged to denounce the importance of status and embrace your own identity. If there is no action taken, there will be consequences.
[You wake up back in your bed. You remember everything – Jerry, the jury box, the words he spoke to you. Maybe you remember the words he spoke more vividly than anything else.
However you decide to proceed… there will be consequences.]
[ooc: you have until November 15th to submit your Sentencing HERE. Even if your character doesn’t proceed with the Sentencing, you must comment on the NPC inbox for your penalty.
Also, there are effects for ignoring this Sentencing. Richard woke up with a crown near his bed, and he finds that with it he draws more and more attention than ever before from NPCs and Chosen alike. The longer he goes without doing this, the more attention he will receive. If you have any questions about Sentencing, please direct it to the Mod Contact post.]
[Jinx was out of town, and while their normal late night meet-ups were either at one of his businesses or Richard's house, it seemed time to have Richard over to his own house. This was perhaps the second time he had offered such a invitation, and it would always be when his daughter had gone on some mission or another that took her from Aldrip.
He had left the Last Drop in the evening hours once assured that things would run smoothly for the night despite the natives being frigid towards the Chosen. Business remained steady, though the profits hardly mattered as he was supplementing anyway. The hours had shifted it from normal bar to night club, which is how he preferred it in Zaun and how he ran it here.
He returned to his home which was a two-story house where Silco primarily occupied the first floor and his daughter had the upper floor mostly to herself. While he waited for Richard to arrive, he found his way to his alcohol cabinet to pick out a single malt whiskey to savour for the night, adding three ice cubes and settling on the couch to read quietly.
Midway through a page, he became aware of first twinges of a burning sensation of the skin around his mutilated eye. Ah, he should have had Jinx administer his medication before she left, but no matter. He would have to do it while she was gone, and he may as well do so before his lover arrived and have a day of peace from the usual effects as the Shimmer faded. After all, he had no doubt that he and Richard would be spending an increased amount of time together with Jinx on her own little mission; it happened before and he stopped sidestepping the fact that it was bound to happen again.
He did, after all, enjoy Richard's company.
Silco pushed himself from the couch, setting the novel aside before he moved off to this office. By now, he expected Richard to simply walk in rather than knock. It's what he did at his lover's house these days. He was opening one of the drawers of his desk to search for his injection device, finding it and walking back to the open concept living room when the front door opened.]
[Some time had already passed since the morning when Richard had been summoned to meet the council in his dreams. Richard had, at first, merely scoffed at the idea that there was actually a man around who'd dare to judge him. 'Let them try,' he had thought, allowing his hubris to color his thoughts. There is no man who could judge him, not truly. After all, he had once made a deliberate choice to step outside of the circle of humans, embracing the darkness within him and walk his path as a demon. He followed different rules than the rest of the mankind -- accepting fully his place in hell.
The sentencing had came. Initially, Richard hadn't thought much of it. It did seem like the council was truly out of its depths when they had cast their judgement upon him. "Denounce the importance of the status and embrace your identity." Ridiculous indeed.
But then Richard woke up after the restless dream. And as he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was the crown. His father's crown. The circle of light, empty and abandoned. Now, that had offended Richard. The true meaning behind council's sentencing. They wanted him to betray his father and abandon his legacy. Well, needlessly to say he wasn't going to follow such demand.
He had his the crown in his cabinets, trusting his lover to respect his privacy enough not to snoop around the apartment uninvited. And it wasn't like they had such idle time during their meetings and shared moments -- no, their time was reserved for other activities all together.
And perhaps unsurprisingly enough, Richard had stayed quiet about the whole thing. He had not shared news about his summoning to Silco, neither had he revealed him the crown. There were so many secrets and untold stories behind Richard that he didn't even know where to begin. And, admittedly, there was the seed of the doubt in his mind taking root, one to make him question whether the older man would be able to understand the meaning of it all. Silco had scoffed and rolled his eyes at the thoughts of God and his might. He disregarded the light as unimportant and walked his own path in the darkness. While these traits and opinions were something that draw Richard towards him, keeping his intrigue up and alive, he couldn't deny that at times he found it frustrating that his lover kept failing to understand him. If Richard were to reveal the crown to the other man would he just laugh at him?
So, he had stayed quiet. And while they had continued to meet as they regularly did, there was no denying that he was even more absent minded and withdrawn that normally. Often finding himself falling into his own thoughts and memories. Joan was present, of course. Richard could see her in the shadows - but she was, also, uncharacteristically silent. He could tell that she had something on her mind but for a reason or another she couldn't voice out her thoughts. As if she was being silenced by something.
There was the sound of heavy wings hitting the air. Almost as if something was approaching.
But no matter how much Richard tried to avoid it, he couldn't ignore the side effects of his sentencing. The more he tried to ignore the council's orders, the more he could see the people eyes at him - following him and casting their pressure on him with his gazes. As if they knew the secret he was hiding.
So, when he was invited to Silco's apartment, a place that he ever so rarely could visit, he swallowed his pride and doubts. Deciding that it was the time to address the elephant in the room. Richard arrived to his lover's house later in the evening, carrying a wooden crate tugged underneath his arm. He was alone this time, Whitey choosing to spend his night elsewhere. Which suited Richard just fine, he preferred not to have distractions tonight.
Richard walks in without much of a note, just as Silco had presumed, and placed the crate on the table. The long gloved fingers run carefully on the top of it as he looked over the desk.]
[Silco paused from leaving his desk at the sight of the crate that Richard brought in, curiosity tugging at him. He did wonder what that was and why it seemed to have made its way over to his house when it was probably easier to leave it wherever Richard found it and call him over. It didn't look too heavy, but there was something resigned in the way his lover looked which tipped him off this might be a sensitive topic. Perhaps, perhaps not.
He shut the drawer and approached, one hand full of the two pieces of his ophthalmic injection device. He came to stand over the table where the crate was, turning his attention to the metal in his hands and inserting the one piece into the other and interlocking them together with a twist of his hands.]
I routinely need to inject medication to maintain my eye. This device provides that.
[It seemed far less interesting than the crate of course. He gestured at it with his open hand and glanced at his lover. Was that a gift or a burden? He wouldn't presume to know what was in it, and he routinely respected Richard's personal privacy by not opening drawers or doors that he hadn't already seen or been in allowed to keep a few of his items in.
The exception was, of course, the kitchen. He expected the same in his own abode.]
[Something soft and almost serene reflects in his eyes as Richard looks down at the crate, keeping his hand protectively on top of it.]
A secret. [He answers, speaking with quiet and careful voice - almost as if he was in presence of something sacred. And well, that thought of line far from the truth. The crown was a proof of godly mandate, a symbol of absolute power and pass to paradise. Something that the poets would sing about and people go war for. Something that Richard had killed and sacrificed for. Something his his father had died for.
But Richard tears his eyes off the crate to look back at Silco, gaze dropping his gaze down at the device at his hand. 'That looks painful>', is the first thought that goes through his mind as he observes the subtle needle hidden inside the glass flask. But he supposed that it makes sense that Silco would need to rely on medicine to treat the injury on his face. Richard, too, applied ointment on the burn on his arm on daily basis. The concoction provided by a fellow Chosen Claude did bring him some relief, mostly with bringing the angry redness of the skin down, ceasing the tight itchiness and pain around the burns. Though, while it definitely had gotten better, the injury would stay and remain. Richard was certain that he'd carry the mark for his entire life, just like Silco would.]
If you desire privacy I can leave until you're done.
[Silco found his curiosity increasing with the evasive answer. Surely Richard had brought the crate over to reveal said secret to him at some point in the night, but he wouldn't fault the younger man to build up the anticipation and theatrics around whatever was in the crate either. All would be revealed in due time then. It had to be something covetous if Richard spoke in such a careful, quiet tone too.
He ran his fingers over the crate top as he moved passed Richard so that he could seat himself on the couch. He was not ashamed of his eye, its ongoing maintenance, or the history behind it. He turned the injector over so that injection portion faced the floor and gently tapped it with a finger to stir up and resuspend the unique version of Shimmer that he used.]
Hmmm, it won't take long, and it isn't something that I hide from those close to me.
[He lifted it and moved to set the metal cage unit around his eye. He fumbled to get the angle right, tipping his head back more or less in the process to line up the device with his mutilated eye. He paused, pulling it off of his face without pulling the trigger and shaking his head, casting a glance towards his lover.]
...Jinx normally performs this for me, so I'm mildly rusty at self-administration.
[Still, it had to be done, especially with her out of town for a few weeks. He shifted and moved to make another attempt.]
[There is an instinct within Richard that nearly has him slap Silco's hand away from the crate, and chastise him. The light hidden securely inside the wooden box was far too precious to be touched so casually. But he restrained himself, his own fingers curling and stilling when Silco brushes his hand over the crate as he walks away.
Standing still on the spot, not wanting to leave the crate unattended, Richard turned around to follow his lover with his eyes. He watched him walking over the couch and setting down on it and begin with the process of administering the medicine. It wasn't something that Richard had ever seen before, and he would not have faulted the man for not wanting to share this moment of vulnerability and weakness with him. After all, it was incredibly personal - in whole different manner than the other moments of intimacy and they had shared so far.
But Silco had never been one to hide, had he? Carrying his mark and deformity proudly and without shame. He knew exactly who he was and all the limitations that came with it. It was another quality of his that Richard admired.
It was only when he sees his lover struggling to find the right angle with the device that Richard decided, hesitantly so, step away from the crate and walk up to the couch. He reached to touch Silco's wrist with the tip of his fingertips.]
[He considered it interesting how Richard guarded that crate like it contained the greatest wonder in the world, which narrowed down what it could be in his mind immediately. There were only a few select items that Richard had spoken of openly and fondly. Thankfully, that crate was large enough to fit such items: crown, decapitated head, maybe a piglet named Brownie.
He set the device in place, reaching up with his other hand to pull the remains of his lower eyelid down when he spotted Richard moving. He paused in the gesture, his blue eye shifted to focus on his lover for a brief moment, noting the touch to his wrist.
He paused in angling the mechanism. He was not particularly protective of the activity, but it was one his daughter had taken on and performed for him since she was small. Would she consider this a betrayal? He could and would do it himself, but he supposed he looked rather awkward doing so.]
If you would look down the line of the device to make certain the needle will puncture cleanly and directly rather than at an angle. [He moved to set it back into place a little less awkwardly, but he could already tell that the angle was off. Yet, he waited for Richard to potentially direct his hand.]
[It's honestly the best course of action to have Richard just aid with finding the correct angle than to just have him perform the procedure on his own. The device did look secure enough, but there was still a sharp needle and glass involved near something as vulnerable as exposed eye. Better not to take risks with a complete novice.
Nodding Richard leaned closer and placed his knee on the couch right in between Silco's legs as he climbed up. He was half-straddling the other man while looming over him, the keen eyes observing the way device aligned to against his lover's darkened eye. He carefully nudged the wrist to up, closer to the center.]
[His hand remained on the device, and while Richard nudged his grip to the proper position, he waited patiently. He was reminded back when Jinx had first taken an interest, and he had shown her the process. Now he was showing his lover in Jinx's absence, and he recognized it as a show of trust.
His finger lifted away from the round trigger, resting next to it. He watched Richard with both eyes, though the anticipation of his medication pending and the usual pain associated with it did cause his mutilated eye to flick around.]
Put your thumb in the loop of metal my finger just left and push downwards to discharge the needle.
[Richard's eyes flickered down at the small device between them. Without saying anything, he followed the instructions and brought his thumb to rest against the small trigger. Despite his calm, marble-like expression, Richard could hear his heart beat faster in its cage. All of the sudden it is like their shared world is much smaller than a moment ago, containing only two of them and the couch.
There certainly was something very intimate in this moment. Private and personal, somehow managing to push beyond the most of times they've spend together in the sheets. Just like when Richard had entrusted his own body in Silco's hands, Silco was now entrusting this to Richard's.
A brief yet heavy moment passes, Richard's mismatched eyes look into Silco's blue eye -- trying to read whatever unspoken emotion there might be. Then, he turns his focus back on the device. He counts to three in his head, trusting that his lover knows to braze himself, and pulls the trigger.]
[While this was a rather routine aspect of his adult life, Silco did experience mild trepidation at allowing another person to assist him this closely. He didn't expect to be judged for what he needed to do, but injecting wrong could have detrimental effects for him as the Doctor had explained some time ago.
It felt uniquely personal to let Richard into a part of his life that, no matter how brief it was to accomplish, was done quiet and obscured from the regular persona he put forward. He waited, thinking Richard might not feel comfortable enough with the device or his instructions to perform the action necessary.
Then the trigger was pulled and the needle discharged sharply, plunging through his cornea to administer Shimmer into the globe of his eye. He jerked and snarled as pain caused his hands to momentarily tremble and his fingers to flex, drawing his face away from the cool metal as purple overflow slid down his cheek. Shimmer almost instantly healed the injection site, and he lifted a hand to wipe away the excess, a sharp breath of air leaving him as he slowly sank back into the couch.
The aching burn of his mutilated eye receded as his medication took effect and slowly the tightness across his shoulders relaxed.]
[It truly is over fast, lasting less than a blink of an eye. The needle shoots forward and prickles the sensitive organ. Richard watches Silco to pull back and twitch in discomfort, expression twisting and contracting in pain as the unknown medication set in. And it's not like he can really judge his lover for such strong and vivid reaction. The procedure, as much as Richard could see, looked very painful and gnarly. He'd assume that a weaker man would not be able to go through it - let alone as a routine.
The single purple tear catches Richard's attention immediately. He remembers Jinx's unnatural tears and blood back from the hot springs when he had cut her leg. Did everyone from Zaun carry the color of dusk in their veins?
Richard lowers the device and straightens his back, waiting for Silco to gather himself backup again and recover from the treatment. And as the tension fades from the other man's body and he gains some of his usual posture, Richard leans back in. The healthy fingers reach to grab on his lover's chin to tip it back just so that he could place a kiss on the darkened, mottled skin.]
[Slowly, his hands extended to catch Richard by the hips and pulled his lover into his lap; it was better than feeling like he was under scrutiny. He imagined the treatment was likely a shock for those that had never seen it before, but it was necessary for his survival. He tipped his head up the younger man leaned in, not resisting the grip to his chin.
Instead, one hand moved to take the injector from his lover to free up that other hand too. His blue eye closed at the mixed sensation of the kiss on his scarred skin. As usual, the nerve damage prevented him from a full range of sensation to the area, but it was no longer aching for the moment either.]
It's a medicine unique to my city. At small doses, it's completely medicinal and is likely the only reason I still live. [He sighed and turned his head so that he could rest his forehead against Richard's temple.] I have to inject the medication every few days.
[Richard allows himself to be pulled forward, sliding to sit with both knees pressed against the couch cushion as he straddles Silco's lap. He presses two more kisses right underneath the mutilated eye before leaning his head back just so that he could take another look at the device - now in his lover's hand. Such strange medical tool.]
We don't have anything like that in my world. [Or so he thinks? Richard's hardly a medical expert. The only time he's ever even had a doctor to examine his body was from the time before he could remember. The people attending to his mother during his birth had taken a look at him to see that he indeed was fully functioning and well. After that? He had tended to his injuries on his own.]
It appeared to be painful to you. [And to think that his lover had to do this more than once a week. But that was the price one had to pay to stay alive. The pain itself, was a way to survive in the world. He and Silco were the same on that regard.
An idea sprung to his mind. A morbid curiosity of sorts. Richard let go of his lover's face so that he could reach and pull off the glove from his other arm, revealing the now familiar burn.
Then, he withdrew so that he could offer his injured arm to the other man.]
[Even in Aldrip, he kept Shimmer mostly hidden. Only Jinx from their world understood the necessity of it, the power and possibility that Shimmer brought to their city. He couldn't spread it around much here unless it invite unwanted attention to his enterprises operating in the city.]
Hmm, well I doubt many medications are injected directly into the eye in most worlds. [The only way that it worked was because Shimmer healed injuries so quickly. A drop of it could help heal some life threatening injuries. Still, his eye was unique, which was why he played so heavily into it. Every time he injected it, he was reminded of the choice of that day.] Not taking it would be much worse in terms of pain.
[He offered Richard a closer inspection of the dispenser even as his other hand remained on his lover's hip. His thumb caressed the swell of the hip even as his eyes moved to regard the burnt hand as it was revealed.]
You wish to experience it? The dosages is for my eye, so it may not have much effect on your arm. [He had stronger concentrations, of course.] It will sting regardless. You're certain?
[There was an air of possessiveness to the hand resting against his hip that Richard enjoyed. It was a such a simple gesture of affection, one that silently kept him glued still with little to no effort. Almost as if to claim Richard as his own. It did not only bring him comfort, but also made him feel wanted.]
Unless you can turn back time there is nothing you can do to return this arm of mine to its previous form. It was a conscious choice and sacrifice I made that day, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I would be closer to my goal. [Richard states, voice filled with confidence and reassurance. The burn had gotten somewhat better after some time, yes. The skin was no longer glaring angry red and there had been some relief to the pain, yes. But the skin was still beyond saving: mottled with dark and red patches, damaged nerve endings here and there which created jarring and awkward sensations, skin too tight that it pulled back with his each movement.
It was not a pretty sight, no. But Richard refused to regret his choice to mutilate his own body. It had all been for the sake of the crown - which was now sitting in the room with them, not too far away.]
Unfortunately, turning back time is not an ability that I have. I prefer looking to the future anyway. [Yet, he and Richard were definitely defined by their pasts like everyone else, but how they developed was something he could share certain similarities with his lover.
And now more than ever, he appreciated that Richard did not regret the mutilation. Scars like theirs should be worn with pride, weaponized against their enemies so that no one could feel like they could call into question their motives or actions. He couldn't hide his scar even if he wanted to save for make-up now and again; these days and especially with Richard, he went without.
His hand gave one last squeeze before leaving his lover's hip to take that burn scarred hand and leveling it out flat. He brought the injector up, giving it a few side-to-side motions to resuspend the Shimmer held in the vial stored within and then set the needle guard to the top of Richard's guard.] I know you can. The pain will be sharp, but then it will ebb away and should leave a warmth and perhaps some muscle twitching as it absorbs.
[That's all the description that he would give on the matter, as his index finger found the trigger and pressed it so the needle discharged down into Richard's hand, breaking skin and injecting a small amount of Shimmer. He waited to see what the younger man would do with the sensation. Perhaps it would help a little with any pain or tightness in the skin around that area?]
[The statement brings a small approving smile on Richard's lips. It's true that they carry the weight of their past with them. Their victories, sorrows born from their previous choices carved into their bodies in form of scars. Are there some things that Richard wishes he could change if he had the ability to turn back time? Absolutely. But he had also come to accept the past - it was what made him who he was today. No need to dwelve in the what-ifs and what-could've-beens.
He, too, preferred to look forward to the future.
Richard lowers his gaze to look at his hand in Silco's. He nods briefly, as a sign that he understood Silco's words and what he was getting into. And with just that, he heard the the "click" as the trigger was pulled.
The needle pierced through the layers of his skin, plunging into his muscle. The pain was sharp, just like Silco had warned him, and enough to make Richard jolt. It reminded him vaguely from the gratin pain that would come when one hits the nerves on their elbow on the corner of a table or so. Richard grits his teeth together and hisses as the pain rushes through his body, making him spasm little. His hand twitches, and Richard tries to close his hand in a fist but fails as the muscles do not want to listen to him.
But then it was over, just as fast as it had began. The pain fades, leaning a faint itching sensation where the needle had pierced the skin. There is a similar purple tear oozing out of puncture wound. Richard brings his other hand to rub at the spot, feeling near immediate relief.
It hadn't been too bad of an experience. But he can only imagine what it'd be like to have it injected on something as sensitive as an eye.]
Your daughter's blood had the same color as this one. [He states. Which could only mean that she, too, needed to take the same medicine. Except in much larger doses. Maybe more than she should. The wine had driven George mad, so who knows? Maybe abusing this was what made Jinx the way she was.
Well whatever, Richard wasn't in the mood of thinking about here any more than that.]
[It was a rather minor dose compared to what some took in the Undercity. He doubted that it would have much effect, and he was confident whatever effect - if any - occurred that it would be positive for his lover. After the initial sting and burn, he found that Shimmer was a boon for him, though he knew better than to overuse it.
Once the injection was complete, he removed the injector and took it apart as his lover inspected the site. He set the two parts next to him on the couch, appreciating having his hands free as he leaned back against the couch and watched Richard. He made a noise of acknowledgement to the statement about his daughter's blood.]
She nearly died before coming here. A higher concentration variant was utilized to save her life. It does have certain long term effects to the body, but it's better than death.
[Of course, the drug had made her mentally unstable, making bad worse for a time. It had cost him his life in return not long after. That was not a story he and Richard needed to explore again.]
Shimmer. Those of my world have few good opinions of it. Like all things, it has its uses.
['Shimmer,' he repeats the word in his mind. The name indeed does something more out of witch's cook book than a proper medicine. It would also explain the strange purple coloring. But it's fine. Richard's learned not to turn his nose up at the concoctions from other worlds and such.
Richard hummed thoughtfully, remembering Silco mentioning something about Jinx arriving on death's doorstep before and going for drastic measures to save her life. So, this was it? A part of him thinks that it might have been greater mercy to let the girl just die, if that was the case - he couldn't even begin to fathom what it must be like to live with the shimmer running in her veins, tainting her blood and tears. But then again, he can't fault the man for wanting to save the girl with all he got. From what he had gathered, Jinx was 'the light' to Silco.
Meanwhile Richard's is...]
In any case, it is a fortune that you have it here with you. I can't have you dying on me just yet. [He says, a teasing grin tugging the corners of his lips as he reached to grab his discarded glove.] What did you have in your mind for tonight? It almost seems like you were preparing for quiet night inside. [The novel and whiskey had not gone amiss. ]
[Silco had already spent long nights thinking on what he would change in his life should he have an opportunity to redo it. When it came to Jinx, there was nothing that he would change, including saving her life with Shimmer. He would give her the world, and now she must navigate it on her own regardless of this fake life that they lived here. For him, this was all that was real, and he valued each day that he continued.
He would do whatever was necessary for his goals. There, here and everywhere. However, that wasn't talk for today, especially now that his eye and the surrounding scarred flesh was feeling as normal as it could again. He didn't want the distraction tonight.]
No? How fortunate for me that you value my life so deeply. [The corner of his lip tugged in a faint smile. Much like Richard, the number of people that wanted him dead were many. It was pleasant to feel wanted, even in jest.] I suppose that depends what's in that surprise crate that you lugged over here. Do I get to know the contents, or is it here to tease me with mystery? Otherwise...
[He reached up to cup the side of Richard's face with a hand, stroking his thumb beneath the younger man's eye.] Jinx will be away for at least two weeks, so you're... welcome to stay here.
No. I do think there are still many paths or us to travel together. It would be shame to put stop on our endeavors prematurely. [His words applied both to sex and their interactions outside of it. Silco had quickly became the person Richard trusted the most, one that he could confine in - an ally. So, while he might be jesting here there is a seed of truth in his statement. Losing Silco now would be against his best interests.
Richard turns his eyes briefly back to the crate when Silco mentions it again, his full attention directed at it. Though, once he feels the warm hand against his face, thumb caressing his skin, he brings his focus back at his lover. The idea of just two of them without any third wheels bothering them did sound nice, bringing warmth to Richard's chest.
Then, closing his eyes Richard leaned in and pressed his lips against Silco's, trapping them both in a brief but hungry kiss.]
It is a gift from our rulers. [He says and withdraws back from the kiss.] I was summoned by the council.
Are there? [Silco considered for a moment then turned his mismatched eyes back on Richard.] I suppose that you're correct in that. We have yet to explore all of this place. [He knew what Richard meant, and he fully intended to do what he could to have a strangle hold on this place as much as fake power allowed. Perhaps Richard would like to climb those heights with him.
He would miss his daughter, and while he was against her leaving the city for such pitiful task, he also wasn't going to stop her. This was the path she wanted to walk, and he did wonder if she was escaping the city to avoid some of the responsibilities of INX. That came with all leadership; some came back, some did not. Still, with her away, he did wonder how much time he and Richard would spend together as he had no commitments on his time such as breakfast or dinner.
A little sigh left him as their lips met, and he responded similarly to the kiss as his hand moved to cup the back of Richard's head. That hunger was apparent, and he had no doubt it would turn into something sooner than later.
Yet, his head tilted as Richard withdrew and mentioned their overlords. Interesting. He eyed the crate with even more curiosity, sliding his hand down the back of his lover's neck.] So you were forced to endure their version of sentencing. Mine did not come with a physical object. What did they demand of you?
[Honestly? Richard would perhaps act on that hunger and let it claim what it desired. To indulge in the taste and smell of the other man, feel the hands grasp and pull him as they joined their bodies once gain. He would instigate all of that here if it wasn't for the crate sitting on Silco's table, occupying Richard's every thought. Alone, but not forgotten.
Richard's not entirely sure where to begin with the tale. To admit that he had been lying to Silco all of this time? Keeping part of his own legacy hidden? Just how far the dark ambitions of this demon would go. Well.. Guess it's best to start with the basics.]
I was tasked with denouncing the importance of status. And finding value in my own identity. [He then scoffed a light laughter.] Ridiculous, is it not? It seems that the council only aims to make mockery of us.
[Silco expected that they were both hiding large portions of their lives from each other; they may have been in this dalliance together for six months but that didn't mean they would reveal everything. They were quiet and private men, but the Council and this place had a way of forcing those secrets towards the surface.
He would admit that he didn't even know what crime Richard had been charged with upon arrival. He hadn't revealed his own of course, considering it a mockery of what he was capable of and the acts he had done for the sake of his city and ambitions.
His hands moved to stroke up the small of Richard's back, and his eyes remained fixed on the crate. Now what would be in there that would line up with Richard's task?] No, the Council either targets crimes that are worthless and no issue, or for some, they target where they can hurt someone the most... to make them 'better people', I suppose.
[He looked at Richard again, considering.] So the Council must believe you've been your entire identity of your status then? Do you intend to ignore their requirement?
[Secrets were essential for men like them. Something that they would need to safeguard with everything they had, while also collecting secrets of others around them. Such were the rules of this game that they both played in their own worlds. So it was no wonder that trust was hard-earned and rare for them, never given freely.
Both Silco and Richard had been vulnerable before the other, offering glimpses to their past and hurt -- sacrificing bits and pieces of their secrets. But never the full picture. There wasn't a moment when Richard believed that he might have figured out Silco's deal or trusted his lover to lay himself fully bare before him. And that was fine. There was still a lot that Silco didn't know about him.
Though some of that was about to be corrected tonight.
With a quiet hum, Richard withdraws away from his lover and stands back up, walking to the table to marvel at the crate once again.] My father once set out to correct the wrongs in our land. With him he brought about a great storm, like no one else had seen before. Shaking the rule of our nation. [It's the beginning of a story that Richard had told Silco so many times before. The one about his father's noble and beautiful spirit. However, this time he took it to different direction.]
After his death my eldest brother, Edward, continued the battle. He blew more wind to the storm, brought upon red clouds that would rain blood. I was there with him, of course. Fought the battles with him and retrieved the light from where it had once been stolen. I believed it to be only just. Everyone did so, too. All but one..
[Richard places his hand once again on top of the crate, carefully caressing it, eyes full of reminiscing sadness. That's right. Edward was the rightful king. No one else would dare to think otherwise. No one but one soul, the one who had always looked at Richard's direction.] The man whom you call my 'lover.' He is the only one who had the audacity to dream of something much more.
[Some time ago, he had been a weak man who had been played. Now he liked to think that he was far more alert to such antics; he was better prepared to know what Richard was capable of now that he had let the younger man in to be close to him. And perhaps it was par for the course that everyone he let close tried or succeeded in killing him.
He remained where he was as Richard weaved a new version of the tale of his father, and he had assumed that the man was a usurper. If anything, that fact earned a touch of respect from him, especially when a man dragged an entire family, city and country into that mess. It was not far off of his own rise.
His gaze shifted between Richard and the crate in question, and as the tale moved forward, his mind was deciding what was going to be in that box. There had been enough talk of that circle of light to him that he narrowed it down to two possibilities: Richard's father's head or the crown the man had been seeking and Richard had also taken from his own bloodkin.]
How scandalous. Someone thinking third in line for the throne is the best choice and working to provide such an outcome. [That's how succession worked by his measure and the books he had read.] He needed you to accomplish that audacity though; you share blood with the King.
[To call the actions of Richard's father one of usurper's is not far from the truth, no matter how Yorks tried to rationalize it with bloodlines and divine rights. And Richard, himself, for sure was one - stealing the light away from the his own family and painting his nephews as nothing but false prophets. Poor children born from own woman' wickedness.
But just like always. When the topic shifted to his father the smartest thing one could do is tread carefully or remain quiet.]
Heh.. [A soft, melancholic laughter leaves from Richard, his eyes still seeing nothing but the crate on the desk.] But I was not third in the line. I was as far as away from the crown as he was. Yet.. He chose me rather than himself. Even after finding out the truth about me.. He still stood by my side. [Buckingham also could have had a claim for the throne, even if it was not nearly as strong or obvious as Richard's. But surely a cunning man like him would have turned black into white and vice versa if he so truly wanted.
Richard then turned to look up from the crate, eyes landing on the other man still sitting on the couch.] Why do you think he choose to do something like that?
[See, this was why he would never actually understand lines of succession without intensive study first. That was a tree that came with gnarly branches that didn't make sense to him, and there was probably the ability to shoehorn oneself into that line somehow. It seemed convoluted and pointless.
The only truth he knew was this: life was limited by what a person could do and what they couldn't do. What they couldn't do depended on the strength of will to achieve it; even though with higher superiority could be torn from their perch with enough planning, resources and time.
His gaze moved to the crate again, clear that Richard was intent to keep that secret for himself. As curious as he was, he didn't claim to be invested in someone else's punishment set down by the Council. So far, whatever the consequences, Richard seemed to the weathering them well enough.
He shifted where he sat slightly, crossing one leg over the other.] I wouldn't dare presume the motivations of this man. [He could make educated guesses, of course, but Richard was fiercely protective of those he was in love with. He assumed similar reactions to the father might be upheld with the lover.] Why do you believe he choose you over himself? Surely you have an idea.
[Silco was right, of course. It was foolish to ask from the man about the workings of his kingmaker, especially when they had never met. It just happened that more often than not, his lover tended to remind Richard of the one left behind at his come. There had been so many times when he could hear the older man speaking Buckingham's words at him, looking at him with similar intensity within that damaged gaze.
But they were not the same. And in the end Silco held more differences than similarities with Richard's other half. It was something he knew, of course. But during a moment of a weakness he could lose the sign of that.]
I once asked him. He did not answer me. [It had been the first time Richard had ever seen the other man lost at words. But, just like with everything, he had accepted it. Once his own forbidden desires and lust had been forced out in the daylight Richard had simply nodded and followed Buckingham's plan, only once voicing out the questions lingering in his mind: Why.
Richard then turns his softened gaze at Silco and extends his injured hand out to him towards the couch.]
[There had been a few mentions and a description of the man, but Silco was of the opinion that neither he nor Buckingham would enjoy one's company all that much. He expected that the other lover was using Richard, but to what end, he didn't know as he wasn't aware of all the rules and situations of the game that they apparently were playing.
All he knew was that the crown and the power that came with it was the end goal. How they went about it, the necessary plans and associations were beyond him. All he knew was that if the lover arrived here, he would step back as he expected Richard would prefer the other. Perhaps that might change with time. Who knew.]
They say that no answer is still an answer, but it is up to us to determine what the silence verifies.
[He reached out to take Richard's hand when it was offered, uncrossing his legs so that he could rise to his feet and gaze upon this object which had captured his lover's attention. Now how the Council would use it was another matter entirely. He made a point of slipping his other arm around the small of Richard's back as he came to look at the crate more closely.]
[The burnt fingers curl around Silco's hand, gently pulling him closer. And even when they're both standing before the crate Richard doesn't move immediately to open it. Instead he takes a quiet moment to sort out his feelings, running the healthy palm over the top of the wood.
Richard had shared vulnerable moments and secrets to Silco before. Opening his body to the other man, telling him about the forest where his mother left him, Joan and the tale of his father's death. And yet this made him feel the most raw and defenseless around the man, as if he was just about to let his lover in the most guarded secret of the world. And maybe in a way he was. Everything he had done, everything that he was - they all cultivated into this sole object.
There's soft-spoken sorrow in Richard as he finally twisted the small metallic lock on the crate, opening the lid. At first, they can only see a dark blue cloth. Richard reaches to pull it aside and.
There it was. ]
.. My father's crown. [Richard whispers as he looks at the golden headpiece in front of them. The circle of light, the key to paradise. Of which bards and poets would sing about. What his father had died for.
However, the sorrow in him is quickly placed with anger. It twists his expression into a hateful grimace, making him to bare his teeth. No matter how much he looked at it he simply could not see the light. There was no divine within the crown presented to him, only emptiness. The sheer mockery, one that he would liken to blasphemy and crime, made his blood boil. Oh, how he wished to take up his weapons, and slaughter every living creature in this world, tear it all apart until he found the cursed ai.]
The council wants me to set it aside. They want me to refuse my father's legacy! [The words are hissed out between his teeth. Clearly Silco ought to understand why Richard can't comply with the request ]
[There was a patience that came with age but also with years of waiting and watching for unique opportunities. This was a moment where he simply stood next to Richard and waited, aware that this moment would be one of great importance to the younger man. He had already spied how Richard had reacted with a simple brush of his fingers over the crate.
Now was not the time for hasty action. No, he turned his head and watched Richard rather than the crate, and he was not disappointed with the complex emotions that paraded across the younger man's expression even as the metal lock was opened and the crate open.
Slowly, he turned his mismatched eyes onto the item that Richard had hedged his future on, the item that the entire family had gone to war over. It was... impressive, he supposed. From a metal work and gemstone perspective, it was glamourous and sparkled even sitting peacefully in the blue velvet. He had never been up close to a crown before, and he held off even daring to lean forward to examine it. The price such an item could fetch in Zaun was significant.]
And now your crown or will be soon, yes?
[He returned his gaze to Richard, watching the emotions twist the younger man's face. Now if only they could direct that rage towards the Council completely, not that it would matter as he wasn't convinced any longer that the Council itself had any manner of physical bodies. Still, he tightened his grip around Richard's back.]
Of course they would. They believe they are doing what is best when they clearly don't understand what such an item means to you and you family. The battles engaged, the blood spilt, the lives lost in obtaining. Have you noticed any ill effects thus far in refusing to renounce it?
Hah! [The laughter erupts from him as a sardonic sneer before Richard can catch it. But really now? Wouldn't that just be grand? Parade around this forsaken land with a crown on his head? Nay, that would only earn mockery and taint the memory of his father. There's a reason why Richard did refrain from telling people out in public his true status in the hierarchy.] You'd want me to try establish myself as a king to these people? In a place like this where I have no claim to the lands or authority. Doing so would not earn me respect of the people.
[these people did not want a king nor bow down to one, let alone show him respect. Least of all Silco.
But the tightening of arm against the small of his back is enough to quell some of the anger inside Richard, keeping the storm from toppling the trees and ripping them out of the ground with roots and all. His breathing was still heavy, the air moving in and out through his nostrils as he regarded the question.
Now, Richard had heard of the horrific punishments that some of the chosen endured at the hands of the council if they proved to be resilient with completing their tasks. He, luckily, had not encountered anything harrowing.. except for.]
People stare at me wherever I go. I can feel their eyes on my back and hear them whispering about me, some have even tried to follow me around. [While Richard wouldn't say it was the worst thing out there, it was still distracting - feeding more into his doubts and fears.
Richard run his fingers alongside the edges of the crate, not daring to dip them inside now that the crown was exposed. For a brief second he wondered his next words, trying to decide whether it was worthy of bringing it up.]
Other than that it has been quiet. I haven't seen Joan nor her demonic minions.
I don't think the people here would accept that, and yet, according to you, you are king. What you do with that knowledge and with this crown is for you to decide alone. [It was true that Silco had no interest in being ruled, that he would buck against anyone that tried to put him under their thumb by claiming to be his ruler. He had pulled down people from their apparent high seats before, and he would again if the opportunity presented.
However, this crown and all that it represented was supposed to be a punishment for a crime that the council deemed worthy of their attention. Such items were always given with a purpose, and he had no doubt that something of value would be taken away if Richard didn't bend to the Council's silly whims.
He found himself staring at the crown where it lay in its crate. He noted that Richard didn't reach in and take it out or touch it. He knew it would be unwise to do such a thing himself as well.]
Those behaviours will grow more invasive and constant the longer you don't do as the Council demands. If you won't, I expect you can weather that storm for as long as you need to. [He nearly scoffed at the Council, but he thought for Richard it was a fitting pressure to endure. The younger man was self-conscious after all.] After a time, the effects will abate. People fail the requirements of the Council often.
[He turned his head to regard the younger man a moment, considering.]
[Funny. They had talked about power before with Silco. But most of time their conversations had focused on all the atrocities that they were willing to commit to remove the obstacles on their ways and climb up the ladder to reach the top. Never had they stopped to talk truly what the power meant to each other. Or well, Richard had given Silco his usual answer, one that he doubted that his lover understood fully.
To him the Light was same as the power. Once obtained it would grant him the ability to make his each dream come true, erase all of the sadness and give him the keys to paradise. Something that would make him equal to God himself. And the golden, shining object in front of them was a proof of that overwhelming power. As for Silco? Well, if Richard had to take a wild guess it would mean either control or freedom. Or both, considering his past and goal to build an empire. Or something alike that, and Richard thinks he can understand it to some extend, at least.
But whatever the differences in their point of views were, there was one shared fact: only one could stand on the top. Silco would not tolerate a king, and Richard would not tolerate another leader above him. And eventually two monsters would have to face each other, he suspected.
But right now? Despite his blood boiling hot and anger rushing in his veins at the audacity of their captors to drag his father's crown into this world, rob it from its light in mockery, he felt... relief that he could share this with the other man - rather than allowing it to drive him to madness in the solitude.
With his lips still curled down in a disapproving frown, Richard kept staring down at the crown, considering Silco's question. Under normal circumstances he would be nothing but grateful to be rid of Joan and the other demons. But here? He found the idea somewhat conflicting. The witch might be his tormentor, but at the same time he had strangely become to trust her presence, finding her less threatening. Having her nonsensical presence around might as well be the one thing that made sense in this chaotic world.]
She'll be back, I know it. [There was no doubt about it.] The only thing I do not understand is why now? She has never yielded in front of the crown before.
[Devices had started to work again and the continual twilight had apparently lifted. Yet, a realization had come that left him quiet and sullen. Normally he wouldn't talk to anyone and just be furious, but... this was different. Who else was he supposed to talk to? Ragna? Man was more emotionally constipated than dug hole.]
Jinx appears to have returned to Zaun. I will be working overnight.
[That whole 'keep off of his injured leg thing'? Not today.]
[oh. that's it? richard did make the statement first but there still is something very hurtful in just one word like that.
so he's really fine him not being there? or is this another of those "outs" that silco offers him? should he stay or leave?
a moment passes before richard begins to type again.
"do you really mean--"
"what about your con--"
"don't you want me--"
but he falls back into his usual habit of withdrawing away, although this time it is over text and not spoken words. so he will just leave silco on read for now.]
[True to his word, Silco stayed away until the next night, having worked himself through the emotions of his world falling out from under him. He returned to his house with the albino boar following along, having not seen the point of chasing the animal off.
He walked around the house looking for Richard, but perhaps his lover was working late at the inn. Yet, he noticed essential items missing in his walk about. He avoided Jinx's areas of the house for the moment.]
[This time there is no reply. Richard feels like he has said all that there is to be said and just closes the tablet, tucks his paper work away into the drawer and makes his way to the apartment, which he had taken a residence for a nearly month now.
And as the twilight has began to covet most of the sky, Richard arrives and immediately goes to seek out Silco.]
[Silco moved around his house and neatening the place up to keep his hands busy and to stave off the drag towards a chair or the bed. He shed his jacket then his tie then his vest.
By the time Richard arrived, he was leaning his forearms on the back of a dining room chair - the one Jinx sat it most frequently - and was trying to read from his book. He turned his head to spy his lover, looking tired and pale. He shut the book and set it on the table and slowly pushed off the chair he had been leaning on.]
[Sometimes you really do not need words to know what needs to be done. Silco looks like shit - pale skin and tired eyes making him appear almost like a ghost at the dining area's lighting. So different from his usual composed self that sought to have control of each moment. And Richard already knows why. He can't relate, of course, not his own estranged relationship with his own child and memory of his own father, that was colored with worship-like yearning and despair, but that didn't mean he couldn't sympathize.
Without removing his own cloak or the jacket underneath it, Richard walks up to his lover, wraps one arm around Silco's back while other one reaches up to the back of his neck - pulling the other man into his arms.]
[He did a little crow-hop to turn as his injured leg was fatigued and painful from being on it almost constantly for the last twenty-four hours. He was intent to say nothing at all and just go to bed, sleep until the early hours of morning and get up to continue with life with the idea his daughter was gone.
Richard apparently had other plans, and he stood momentarily stiff when his lover pulled him in for a hug. He dropped his forehead down onto Richard's scarred shoulder, his arms remaining at his sides for awhile before he lifted them to set his hands on Richard's hips and slowly allowed some of the exhaustion to slump his shoulders.
He said nothing; he didn't want to talk right now.]
[The silence worked better than well to Richard, who often found himself betrayed by his own words - never quite able to dress his feelings in them properly. So, Richard kept holding Silco close as the quiet, paused moment filled the room around them. He could notice the stillness slowly transforming into tranquility as the bigger body relax against his.
He allows yet another moment of comfort to pass before he pulled away, just enough him to be able to look at his lover's eyes.]
[He took solaced in the silence, closing his blue eye as he rested there. His mind was fuzzy from exhaustion, both physical and emotional, but the throbbing behind his eyes slowly settled while in Richard's arms. He drew in a breath and held it, reminding himself that life went on because it had to.
He had to let go of her with Jinx disappearing. A lifetime of making amends completed and now he was alone with nothing more than people who would be glad to see him dead now that Jinx wasn't here to create interference. No, no, that was the paranoia of the exhaustion playing.
He pulled back when Richard, preparing to do another crow-hop so they could head to the bedroom. It wasn't often that he wanted to lay down, but this was that moment.
Until Richard mentioned his eye medication, and a still stiffness returned to his frame. His fingers twitched and lifted instinctive to stroke the scarring beneath the mutilated eye. The job she insisted on doing was now his again permanently; she wasn't even here to nag him to do it at the same time every day and any hope of that died with her network tag disappearing. Jinx was gone.
He pulled away from Richard and began to limp away.]
[See? This is why words are overrated. There are way too many ways to misstep with them than not. Well, either way, Richard does not feel a need to pressure Silco to give him a proper answer on the matter, trusting that the man knows how to take care of himself. Which, on the hindsight, he probably shouldn't -- considering his current state.
Richard hums quietly, and removes his cloak as Silco begins to head towards the bedroom. He frowns lightly at the other man's back as he watches him to stumble forward, but again. He know better than to pester him about it. Richard could understand the matter of the pride, after all
So, without saying a word he followed the man, flipping the light off as he left the dining area.]
[As he was slower to walk for the time being, he simply considered needing the head start. Richard had been in the house long enough to know how to close it up for the night, so he didn't bother to micromanage that situation as he entered the bedroom and limped to the bed.
He sat on the edge so that he could remove his trousers, making a point to fold them neatly and set them on a chair nearby. He pinched the bridge of his nose and stretched out his injured leg to briefly look at the bandage. It hadn't slipped and there was no strike-through worthwhile enough to require a change.
He began to pull back the coverings so he could slip into bed though remained sitting up as he waited and watched for Richard.]
[While Richard still finds himself feeling distasteful towards the electricity, he had gotten better at navigating around it. So simple tasks, like making sure that there are no lights or such left on as they resume for the night, are easy for him to follow through.
Once he's done checking the apartment (sans the obvious forbidden land that is Jinx's area) Richard sheds the top layer of his clothing on the chair and makes his way to join Silco in the bedroom.
As he enters Richard takes a look at his lover on the be, yes automatically try to gain a glimpse of the injury. Then without saying anything he walks up to the chair where he begins to undress rest of his clothes. Shirt, trousers, binder and so on. All done in routine-like manner, and once he's nude Richard moves to the bed and places a hand on Silco's shoulder -- trying to urge him to lie down so that he could climb up on top of him.]
[Once Richard entered the bedroom, there was only a single light on the side table next to the bed, not that Silco needed the light. He was used to navigating in the darkness, especially in his own spaces like the house. However, the darkness was also a place to feel alone, so he had kept the lights on for both Richard and to chase the feel of isolation away.
His eyes tracked the younger man, though he continued to be silent as he watched Richard strip down. He dropped his cheek onto the top of Richard's hand when he felt it settle on his shoulder, reaching out to turn off the only light in the room to cast them in darkness. It was only then that he shifted so that he could lay down on his back, even as he moved his injured leg well away from where he thought Richard might lay.
He reached up with one hand to pull the covers aside while the other moved to grip Richard's wrist to keep a constant sense of where the younger man was as he was joined in the bed.]
[Every movement shared between them moved in their own, natural weight -- like puzzle pieces slotting in to their right places. There was nothing unnatural of the two monsters circling around each other before laying down together, even if the old songs and tales would have you believe otherwise. Richard turned his palm up, so that he can cradle Silco's cheek, thumb caressing the tender skin right under his eyes as he is guided down on the bed.
Richard settles to lie next to Silco's healthy side, placing one arm under his head while keeping to caressing his lover's face. The soft yet attentive eyes kept looking into Silco's own, trying to decipher the feeling behind the tired and drained expression.]
[There was the normal mix of sensations from the hand on his cheek, but he was aware of the warm of that touch regardless of what portion of his skin that thumb moved over. He flipped the covers back over them both once it seemed that Richard had settled down next to him, and his now free arm rested across his own belly and his hand brushed against the swell of his lover's hip.
He didn't protest the hold on his head, instead using it nestle a little closer and closed his blue eye automatically. His mutilated eye remained open and moving, though he had never said how much sight it provided. His thumb continued to hold Richard's wrist, thumb stroking the side of the younger man's arm.]
[Richard never had any reason to question the Silco's ability to see from his mutilated, black and red eye, believing it to work just the same as his other one especially that he now is aware of the man's medication. But he took the closing of the blue eye as a good sign. Perhaps Silco was finally ready to sleep.
Shifting on the mattress, Richard scooted closer to his lover so that he could tuck the man's head under his chin. The slender fingers slid from Silco's cheek to support the back of his head, spreading flat so that his finger tips could reach the edge of the shoulder blades.
Had he ever done this with other person? To be the one to offer comfort like this? Outside of that one silent night when his young son had came crying to him for comfort -- no. It is sufficient to say that he's not entirely sure what to do here, as he knew no songs or words that would soothe a hurt soul and bring calm to troubled mind. It's not like he had ever been received any. So, he continues to stay silent, his own breathing steady and tranquil. Who knows, maybe that would be enough to bring some solace to his lover.]
[His eye opened again when Richard shifted, and a low sigh emerged from his nose as the younger man's tucked his head in. He turned onto his side so that he could tangle their feet together, bumping bare knees lightly as he turned his face so he could nestle it into Richard's throat. If he concentrated, he could feel the gentle pulse in Richard's vein against his forehead.
He tried to recall the last time he had let anyone comfort him like this. It must have been decades in a different place where the dark was oppressive and the air was thick enough to taste. A lifetime ago with different arms and different circumstances....
His arm curled around Richard's waist and held on tight to the younger man as he once again closed his eye. He listened to the sounds of Richard breathing and his own began to slow as he didn't bother to fight exhaustion. They both needed the sleep, and it was nice to not... feel alone.
With a final deep sigh, he slipped into a dreamless sleep.]
[Once he feels Silco's body to go lax against his as he falls asleep, Richard lets out deep sigh. He shifts on the bed, adjusting his position to more comfortable one while stroking slowly the bare skin on his back. He stays awake, another rarity as Richard was more often than not the person who fall asleep first and slept well into the morning - while Silco stayed up longer than him and woke up early.
He stared at the dark wall next to their bed, falling deep into his thoughts. Richard had never held much love towards Jinx, that was not a secret, and it'd be lying to say that he didn't benefit from her absence. He would not give the girl as much credit as to think her as rival or anything sort of it -- she was nothing but another thorn on his path that had just been removed. No more annoying harassing from her part, sudden attacks towards his persona. No more need to hide from her either. Then there was of course the question regarding the future of the Inx. Ah, so much to think and plan.
Richard hears a distant crack coming from the window and he quickly looks up. It was just a cold weather hitting against the glass. No shadows or demons from were trying force themselves in.
It seems like everything is just alright, Richard thinks to himself as he closes his eyes. ]
[Exhaustion had its benefits. A dreamless sleep was one of them, and it was one of the reasons he chose to his exhaust himself before deciding to attempt sleep. He lay curled in Richard's arms, his own having lost the strength of its grip as he had gone to sleep and shifted a little but otherwise remained around his lover's waist.
Silco slowly came back to awareness, the scent and feel of Richard close to him allowing the illusion of this being a perfectly normal morning as it had been the last month. He sighed, keeping his eye closed and savouring the warmth of the blankets and the lithe body close to his own. He gave himself a few extra minutes like that, feeling tired yet still rested.
He shifted slightly, noting the weight over his feet and determining that to be Whitey. Otherwise, Richard's chin remained on the top of his head and arms held him close. He knew why, but he had promised himself he wouldn't mope more than a day. There was work to be done, and Jinx had an opportunity to return to him.
He kissed Richard's throat lightly before slowly extracting himself from his lover's warm embrace. He rose from the bed carefully, wincing with his injured leg even as he left the bed in order to go and relieve himself, wash his face and push his hair from falling into his face. He looked in the mirror; he still looked pale and tired but nothing like the night before at all.
He returned to the bed, finding his spot now occupied by the albino boar. He left the room to put on some coffee, thankfully electricity still worked in the houses. He had about ten minutes for a brew, so he limped his way back to the bedroom and was about to sit in the chair and rest there when he made the decision that he didn't want to.
He slipped into bed behind Richard in the precarious area on the edge of the mattress. He wrapped his arms around his sleeping lover and buried his face back into the relative safety at the back of Richard's neck. His fingers lightly stroked up and down the younger man's flat but muscular stomach.]
[Just like always, Richard was dead to the world. The golden sleep had fully claimed him and there was no reaction from him when his lover stirred awake and slowly moved away from the bed. If it wasn't for his steadily raising chest and soft, nearly inaudible puff of air passing his lips, one could even think that he was no longer in the books of living.
Though there's some signs of living in him when his rest is disturbed by a new source of heat as Whitey climbs to sleep next to him. Richard murmurs softly in his sleep, his body moving on its own closer to the white fur.
But his sleep is properly broken when there's a familiar press against him, caging his small frame.]
Mmm.. [Richard hums as he stirs, turning his sleepy eyes to look at the man behind him.]
[He told himself that he wouldn't return to sleep despite being tired, that there were matters that required his attention which he couldn't avoid. He wanted to list off the items of the day in his head, but with his face nestled in the back of Richard's neck, all thoughts just washed away again.
Yet, when he heard the sound from his lover, he turned his face so only the left side was hidden there, and he made a similar sound of reply to indicate that yes he was still awake. He didn't relent in his hold around Richard's middle either.]
...coffee's on. [Normally he'd only say that to Jinx if he had to wake her; Richard caffeinated was quite the sight.] You're going to the inn today?
[It was easier to delve into business-as-usual than try to untangle the complex nature of his emotional state right now. The tug of being tired continued a certain fuzziness to his brain that would soon to chased away with coffee. Until then, he just wanted to hold on to the only person he seemed to have left.]
[Richard shifts on the bed, turning to side just enough that he can reach out to brush his lover's cheek with the back of his knuckles. There was now a warm and pleasant nest forming around him with both Silco and Whitey pressing against him, cocooning him up in the blanket. And for a moment his world is limited just in the bubble around them, rest of the world not mattering. At least until his attention is forced back to it by his lover's words.]
Of course I am. [Richard's voice is quiet and soft, still full of night's sleep. Well, it appears that whatever spell Silco was under last night has now been lifted. The man seemed to be more like himself, even if still a tad more clingier than normally. Richard keeps brushing Silco's cheek with long, affectionate strokes as a small smile forms to his lips] And you?
[His arm loosened enough to not hinder Richard from shifting, but it also settled back to previous hold once his lover didn't pull away. His blue eye closed again as he rested in that ten minute window before the coffee was fully brewed to partake. His face shifted slightly at the feel of Richard's fingers on his face, and he offered a brush of lips to the back of his lover's neck in response.
He grunted softly in reply; it was good to see Richard settling into business ownership. That kind of responsibility was an excellent motivator for further progress in his mind. Of course, he had not decided what to do with Jinx's cafe yet; that would be a consideration today if he could. To avoid thinking about it too much, his fingers stroked over Richard's belly again.]
I'll make the rounds as long as my leg holds. [He still preferred to walk everywhere, able to slip down side-streets or alleys to avoid detection.] I need to finish scheduling and prepare for month end. [It's when he passed the most money through to businesses that he owned, of course.]
[It is a little awkward reach for him to be in, with his upper body twisted and turned around as he kept stroking his lover's cheek with his knuckles. So, when he receives a soft kiss in exchange for his efforts, Richard turns back around and rests his back against Silco's front, relishing the warm hold swallowing his body.
And while Richard might be one to sleep longer than the other man, he also preferred to get up almost immediately after waking up. He was rarely a type to linger in the bed. After all, he prefers to get to work as fast as he could. But now, with Silco's arms wrapped around him, caressing his tummy, it felt like he was being lured back into the cozy bubble of sleep.
Richard hums again, bringing his hand on top of Silco's wrist -- long fingers spreading out to brush the back of his hand.] I'll join you, then. I have someone who can look after the inn for a day.
[When Richard turned back, he buried his face against the back of the younger man's neck and his internal clock remained ticking down to the moment he could - or should - pull himself away. He was also one not to linger in bed unless he was there waiting for the other to wake or because he wasn't ready to sleep himself and read a book or paper or worked.
This morning he lingered in the warmth and comfort of Richard's presence regardless of being so close to the edge. He pulled his lover a little more against him so they were pressed together chest all the way down to their knees. His caressing briefly paused when it seemed that he would have company today if that was Richard's intention.]
Join me, hmm? [He wanted to say he wasn't an invalid and could manage just fine on his own. The leg was healing, but he understood even in his current state that wasn't the point being made here.] You don't... have to worry about me. This is not my first experience losing almost everything.
[Except he hadn't lost anywhere close to everything. He'd lost the person he relied on and trusted most. The point stood. It wasn't his first time.]
Mm.. [Richard kept looking at the mass of white fur in front of him and how it kept moving along the animal's breathing. Seems like they're not the only ones not looking for a quick start today.
He stays quiet as he listens to Silco's words, feeling the rhythm of the other one's heartbeat against his back. The entire time that he had known the other man, he had refused the desire for the light - simply stating that he was content dwelling in the dark depths of his own caves. But despite those words Richard could not bring himself to believe that. After all, the other one was also a mere human with similar needs and desires as anyone else out there. Maybe it was just that the man hadn't quite come to the realization of just what that light was to him. Meanwhile Richard believe he could see it plain as the day.
It was what the man had just lost. It was not everything, no. But instead it had been what was the most important.]
And I doubt it will be the last. [Such was the fate of a man.] But a loss is a loss. I will accompany you.
[He closed his eye again at the words, and he knew it was true. There was still plenty to lose here, though at this time, he cared a little less about it now. Yes, Aldrip was his own option at anything close to a continued life, but once he had discovered his daughter, everything felt as if it had slid back into the same dynamic.
Was there a chance she would return? Potentially. Would she remember everything they had accomplished? Maybe. This place was good a jerking everyone's chain, which was why he wanted control of what they could scratch together.
He sighed from his nose, his fingers slowly stopping in their stroking.] Hmmm... no, it will not be the last. There is always something more to lose. [Slowly, he withdrew his arms from around Richard and slowly wedge an elbow under himself so he could begin to sit up.]
It's why we fight. To keep what's left and gain ground.
[He relented from withdrawing in favour of coffee to instead lean down to press a kiss to Richard's cheek.]
[Richard moved his hand away from Silco's wrist, allowing him to begin to pull away. The smell of freshly brewed coffee entered to the room, no doubt signaling the other man that it was perhaps time for them to get up. That was yet another treat that Richard never quite understood, being able to get it down only when there is plenty of cream mixed in.
But now that the arms withdraw from around him Richard uses the opportunity to turn from his side to lie on his back -- reaching up to touch his lover's face with his fingers, mapping the sharp jawline and shape of his lips. It was good to hear that despite this loss, the other man hadn't lost the focus. Monsters like them would always find a way to stand back up and grow stronger. They would not stop fighting.]
Hah, as if. I do not need to escape to the world of a written word to thaw the boredom.
[He paused in withdrawing from the bed entirely as Richard rolled and he saw his lover's hand lifting towards his face again. He stayed, propped on an elbow and closed his eye as he leaned into the touch even as he lifted his other hand to push his fingers through the longer strands of hair to stop them from falling forward into his face.]
Fine but swinging around your sword in my office could be disruptive.
[Not that he had ever seen Richard do that unless it was against some sort of invader and normally he wouldn't be working during such times. His hand dropped from his hair, stroking his fingers up the middle of Richard's chest.]
Or do you plan on looking over my shoulder for the entire day?
Heh. [Richard huffs a faint air of amusement at the sight of casual vanity as his lover focuses on fixing his hair.]
Just what kind of savage do you take me for? [He teases back, lips curling into a grin. Then with that, he slides his hand behind the other man's neck pulling him closer while also craning his own up - sealing them into a brief tender kiss.]
The pretty kind. [They were all savages in their own way, but he would admit that Richard made any kind of savagery something worth watching. Besides, he knew his lover had few compliments on appearance, and he did make it a point on occasion to make it clear that he found the younger man attractive.
He didn't resist the pull to lean down, meeting Richard's lips with his own. His hand moved from between his lover's breasts to rise in order to cup the side of Richard's face.]
Is that so? Just using me for my business knowledge, I see.
Always right to the flattery with you. [And well, to Silco's credit it did work with Richard, at least nine times out of ten if not more.
He sighs softly against the other man's lips. He brings them back together for a second kiss, though this time he's in no hurry to break the contact - savoring the taste of Silco.]
It normally works, so who am I to deny using it to my advantage? [It was a light tease, even if much of the usual emotion didn't reach his blue eye. He was content to pretend everything was fine, even if the invasion thought came unbidden this right here might be his new 'normal', as it were.
He welcomed the second kiss, if only so he didn't have to speak much more and it bought him time to once again gather himself and push all the emotions down around his daughter now that he was waking up fully. His hand slid to the back of Richard's head, thumb stroking under the younger man's ear.]
[Richard keeps them connected, savoring the taste of Silco's lips against his own. It's still just a morning and he can still recognize the lingering aftertaste of the smoke and whiskey. No doubt his lover had indulged in his vices a plenty before his arrival last night. Indulged in or escaped to.
But at least he did seem to have some control over these substances. There was no fear that he would lose himself into them the say way that his brothers' had. That thought made him feel reassured that his lover would indeed keep his focus, no matter how much hurt there was in his mind. The fight would not be over.
He nibbles on Silco's lower lip before letting him go, breaking their contact.]
You can do that without me. Such high prize for something so mundane. [Richard allowed his fingers to slide along Silco's jawline, stopping right underneath his chin. Of course, he was nowhere naive enough to believe that his lover was not trying to get something out of this arrangements, aside the intimacy and physical comfort. Richard had already showcased that he would be willing to protect the other man, and then there was the matter of the inn. He suspected that the older man was trying to benefit from it one way or another. Well, not that it mattered to Richard. 'The business' hardly interested him as much as the other venues that came with the ownership of the said establishment.
Ah but... he was now getting distracted, wasn't he?]
[He withdrew from the kiss when Richard did, shrugging his bare shoulders. They both knew that the theory was correct, but honestly, he wouldn't without Richard sitting or nudging or making pointed gestures to go to bed at a reasonable time.]
I could, but I won't. You keep that part of my schedule rather on track. Few have accomplished that. [There were other aspects of their relationship that he was using Richard for, yes. Companionship, sex, conversation, protection, and just plain interest.
The acquisition of the inn did hold his interest, but honestly, he was waiting for Richard to grow bored of it and then he'd buy it. He could funnel excess funds through it as he did all his others. It was not a matter he discussed, though he would probably have to if he did use Richard's business for that. He considered it a side-benefit of associating with him: more wealth.
He hummed in agreement, turning his head to view the bedroom door before he levered himself up on an elbow and then swung his legs out of bed. He sat there, lingering on the edge of the bed uncharacteristically. Aside from them, there was no noise that he could hear in the house. It was... different.]
Do you want a mug?
[Slowly, he convinced himself to his feet and approached the chair where he could retrieve a clean pair of underwear and slipped into it carefully.]
[Despite the tender and affectionate moments like this it was easier for Richard to try and rationalize their arrangement through the idea of transactions of sorts. They were both in this because they benefit from it, both in private life and business. Of course, if Richard were to stop and think the situation through properly he'd come to realization that the mere transactional nature of their relationship was long gone. But that was a rabbit hole he refused to look at.
When Silco moved and finally pulled away to get up Richard gathered the blanket around himself so that he could cover his body as he sits up. The mention of coffee almost makes him grimace. He had given the drink few tries but he still couldn't get used to it, finding the taste almost offending. But, it was what people did here and he was dedicated on adapting.]
Only if there is cream. Here, [He extends his arm out to him, waiting for Silco to pass him a clothing.] Will you help me dress?
[Silco had stopped thinking their association was transaction to a degree. He wouldn't allow himself to consider the depth of it, and the potentially uncomfortable emotions that his daughter had once accused him of. He knew it wasn't 'just sex' any longer, that living with another man for two months, seeing each other almost daily was nothing of that sort. It felt like when...
No. He cut the thought off immediately. It was like scratching an old scar that had never healed right.
He hummed as Richard agreed to a small cup of coffee and cream. He turned at his lover's question, noting the offered hand. He stepped closer and reached out to grip onto Richard's hand and draw his lover from the bed towards himself rather than offering clothing. It was better standing anyway.] If that's what you wish, yes.
[Instead of stepping away to gather Richard's clothing for the day, he stepped in and buried his nose briefly against the younger man's neck, sliding his arms around Richard for a little squeeze of a hug, ignoring how stupid and needy this was probably appearing. It was fine. He was just tired, and it was better than being angry and cranky with Richard.]
[A small, confused frown appears to Richard's face when his lover reaches out to grab his hand and tug him forward. He does not fight against the pull, moving up from the mattress to stand next to the other man -- allowing the blanket to slide off his body.
Silco had grown better at showing casual affection and intimacy since they had started to share the bed. Even instigating the contact first at some cases. But this was different to that. No, Richard could feel the silent agony in the embrace. There was something distantly familiar in the gesture, echoing the pain similar to that dramatic day when the world had frozen around him. When he had lost the light.
It is.. startling, to say the least. But not all that unexpected, he supposed. Richard lift his arms and wrapped them around Silco's back, reciprocating the hug and inviting the man to lean on him. He stays quiet, giving the older man to take his own time when to pull away.]
[He did not and could not allow it to last long, not reasonably. He waited for Richard's arms to encircle him in return in a perfectly normal return gesture while also savouring the close contact. He closed his eye and counted to ten as he remained nestled against his lover before he slowly disentangled himself from the embrace.
He pushed his fingers through the longer strands of his hair a few times as he stepped over to gather Richard's clothing in the other hand, returning the three steps it took to be in front of his lover. He offered Richard the undershirt first.]
[There is a small hesitation, a moment of doubt and resistance in Richard when Silco pulls away, not sure whether he wants to let go or not. His fingers slide along his lover's forearm as the other pulled away -- a silent invitation for the older man to stay there for a little bit longer. But once again, Silco is right. They really ought to get started with the day, with the emotional setbacks and all.]
Nay. I told you I will be joining you for the day, didn't I? [Richard takes the offered undershirt and pulls it over himself. It has already been quite some time since he had been able to properly partake in his training and other exercise. He had lost the easy access to the nature after moving out of his previous house back to the city. And the work at the inn kept him busy enough that the moments to escape back to his usual training grounds became more and more few and rare.] A regular day clothing will do.
You did, but I expect that if you wish to train, I can take time out of my day to watch you do so. [Do not ask him to train; he had completed his penance of slave labor as a boy and a young man and wasn't interested in such activities where someone else could actually observe him doing so.
Next, he offered the binder for Richard to settled into place comfortably. He had always been told it was a personal preference when it came to that comfort, so he didn't offer to assist. He was, after all, well practiced at removing it these days. Still, it seemed that Richard would be his shadow for his activities rather than the other way around.]
As you say. We'll get you dressed, have a mug of coffee and head out then. I'll stop at the flower shop first. [He had plenty to do because drowning in work was always the best choice to ignore any particular grief.] If my leg becomes painful, we'll stay longer at one place today. Maybe the Last Drop.
[Richard accepts the binder and begins to wrap it over his body, adjusting his breasts a little so that they fit more comfortably under the compressive cloth before he begins to close the hooks. He stays quiet during the process, a resigned expression briefly visiting his face. The whole thing proceeds almost mechanically as Richard had grown used to it all those years ago. But despite that, he still felt strangely distant when touching his own body.
Back in England, both Buckingham and Catesby had assisted him with this task, making it somewhat easier for him. With such a simple act the two men managed to bring normalcy to Richard's life, quietly ensuring him that there was nothing wrong with him. It is something he would potentially wish Silco to provide him, too, but he could not bring himself to ask that of his lover.
Once the binder is in the place Richard takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders, returning back to their conversation. ]
I could fetch Blackie, in that case. On his back you would not risk worsening the injury on your leg.
[While Richard was busy with his binder, Silco moved away the two steps necessary to pick up his own folded shirt and slipped it over each other and tugged it down over his shoulders. From a very young age, he had learned the hard way that such tasks would not be done if not be oneself, and so he had begun a path of almost hyperindependence. Now he paid people to do certain tasks for him, not because he couldn't do it himself but because he had the luxury to choose not to.
Here in this place, he had returned to relearning skills that he had otherwise neglected in his position of power. Dressing had never been one of those skills, of course. He took too much pride in his appearance, keeping his clothing and hair in a particular order that he trusted only to himself. It was a sense of control, of course.
He allowed only Richard to undress him, but the opposite was not particularly true.
His fingers moved over the buttons one by one until it was to his neck, but he paused so that he could collect the next article of clothing for Richard to don. He approached, holding out the the next shirt that would go under that leather.]
Oh, you want me to break my neck? [Riding remained a skill he had yet to learn particularly well.] I'd prefer the leg... but, if you're there, it won't be the worst experience.
[Richard watched as Silco buttoned his shirt up, a small smile returning to his lips. But this time instead of accepting the offered clothing he merely stretched his arms to his sides, expecting his lover to slide the shirt on him.]
You will not break anything if you behave. [Honestly, Silco's reaction to his horse was always so amusing.] But worry not. I'll be your knight in shining armor.
[He stared at Richard for a long moment as if trying to determine what this new posturing was for. He knew, of course, and he frowned for show even as he reached out and slid one arm hole over Richard's hand and then tugged and wrapped the material around his lover's back so he could do the same with the other arm hole. Fine, just this once.]
You need actual shiny armour then. Everything you wear is black. [He preferred his feet on solid ground, that's all. Horses were unpredictable.] You riding with me is the only way I agree. Otherwise, I walk.
[Richard merely raises a mildly amused brow at Silco, almost as if to ask him what's the matter. The man might not be a servant but he still assumed him to have some experience with this act, having raised a child on his own and all.
Once his arms are slid into the sleeves he pulls on the fabric and begins to work on the buttons. At least he's not requiring Silco's help with this task? For now that is.]
Black can shine in light just the same. [But he'd need to get a proper armor, that's for sure. Luckily he hasn't really been needing one in this world, but he does miss the sensation of iron wrapping around his body.]
If you are certain then. Do you require me to sit in front of you or will me walking alongside be enough? [How much does Silco need to be coddled?]
[His experiences were limited; by the time Jinx came to him, she was fully functioning when it came to dressing herself. Okay, so the hair needed work and styling, and he had to figure out what exactly it was that a little girl needed. He had never had to dress or undress her thankfully, not that nudity was a particular issue. They were perfectly comfortable in their own skin around each other.
Same as he was in front of Richard. He was an otherwise very private person physically and emotionally. As if to prove he could if he wanted to, he knocked Richard's hands aside so that he could button up the shirt from bottom to neck.] Why would you want it to? Black is to slip to the shadows, avoid detection and it's rather slimming.
[Of course, neither he nor Richard required material to assist them with looking slim. Both of them were lithe twigs of people.] Tell me about this armour of yours through.
[He didn't enjoy riding.] Walking beside should suffice. You don't have a problem with that, do you?
[The gentle and calculated brush on his hand does come as surprise. Silco had not always reacted positively to Richard's requests to perform tasks that would usually fall for servants, so this initiative is certainly surprising. But very much welcomed.
As one can presume, Richard did not allow this to just anyone. No soul was allowed in his quarters - aside from the two men who he trusted the most. So, that offered Silco such access to his body, in bed and outside of it, was a sign of immense trust on his part. A proof that he felt safe around the man to be his true self. And it pleased him greatly that the other man could somewhat understand why moments like these, of quiet and casual affection, meant much for him.
It made him feel cherished. Just for a moment.]
Hah. You are sounding more and more like a boogie man from children's tale. Is that why you adorn yourself in red? [He snorts an amused laughter. Once the buttons are done he slightly nods towards the trousers left in the chair.] What about it? I wear a plated armor with chainmail. Though mine is normally black and I added sharp talon-like edges to my fingers. [Now who's being dramatic about his appearances.]
[He was aware that Richard was no trusting with many to be close to him physically, least of all see the younger man in the nude or close to it. He understood that Richard considered this activity to be a type of intimacy as one might with hair brushing or massages or some other bonding experience.
The moment passed them quietly, of course. He withdrew once that shirt was buttoned, and he moved to the door of the bedroom again. He would not put on his own trousers until he had tended to his healing leg injury first, unwilling to struggle with the material or risk it being contaminated with exudate from the cleaning process.
He turned to regard his lover and the corner of his lip tugged in a hint of a smirk.] I would rather be the thing that terrifies others than allow anyone to terrify me. And no, red has always been a colour I enjoy wearing. [It was as simple as that. It also hid the blood stains better.] My, my, such drama with armour. I expect you enjoy intimidating your enemies, don't you?
[He gestured for Richard to raise his voice because Silco was going to in search of coffee and still wanted to be part of the conversation.]
Why don't you just let that horse run around in the fields? Isn't that what people do?
[He had no idea. He had never been around beasts of burden before like this.]
[ The video opens to Mitama, though just like in her recent post, she's wearing her "Santa disguise". She's here on an important business, after all. ]
Ho, ho, ho! Thank you for joining our Secret Santa event~ It's time to find out what ─ or rather who ─ your assignment as Santa's Little Helper for this year is! Drumroll, please...
[ She makes a pause for a dramatic effect, her hand slipping into a Santa hat she's holding and pulling out a small piece of paper with a name on it. ]
It's none other than... Yosuke Hanamura, the hapless romantic!
Remember, you should present your assignee with a gift of your choice until December 25th! Good luck, and remember: your main task is to spread joy, happiness and the spirit of Christmas cheer!
[A package arrives at the inn addressed to Richard. The box is wrapped in brown paper rather than actual Christmas wrap because Silco still had personal standards and wasn't willing to embrace this strange holiday completely.
Inside the box, there are several contents including a compass, a small make-up kit that was set for Richard's specific skin tone, and some well wrapped frozen small birds that had been plucked and prepared for eventual cooking.
A small neatly written note accompanies the gift: I owe you a dinner party. -S
An hour after the box arrived, a bouquet of a dozen white roses arrives with Richard's name on the card.]
[At one point in the day during Richard's activities at the inn, a boy will wander in carrying a long box, simple in design and without particular markers. There was a small card attached to the nondescript string holding the box closed with a simple S. written on it.
Inside the box is a dozen long-stemmed white roses.
There is another note inside:
Apparently there is a holiday today if flower sales are any indication. For you and only you.
[After Jinx had informed him that she would be staying with her boy-toy because he was too sad to be alone, Silco had moped around the evening hours of work while also trying to decide his course of action. Instead of returning to the home he shared with his daughter, he headed for the inn in the early hours of the morning and slipped his way into the suite that Richard had claimed as his own.
They had reunited for the remainder of the night and slept between intimate interplay that night. He hadn't intended to sleep in, nor had he intended for his lover to pull him into the bathtub for a soak an hour or two of the morning away, yet here he was. The water was scented with roses and it was warm.
Silco had never been much of a purveyor of baths, finding grooming to a quick and necessary step of the day. Yet, he leaned back on the back of the tub, one arm draped over the side and the other down Richard's body where he could stroke his fingers lazily over warm wet skin. His head was tilted back to rest on the tiled wall and his blue eye was closed as he breathed evenly with the weight of his lover leaned against his chest.
Despite his best intentions, he lingered here. Their relationship had seemed... complicated with Jinx's return, seeing one another less, sleeping over even more rarely, so this felt like an odd return to form. He couldn't convince himself that he had missed this (he had), but he was aware he was refreshed and relaxed after a night and morning with Richard.]
This place is better than that cabin in the woods. Do you prefer here or your flat for living, hmm?
[Despite always claiming not to be one to indulge in pointless luxuries and opulence the same way as his brothers had done, long baths were something that Richard continuously kept treating himself to. They were the moments that could allow him to forget the rest of the world and himself. It was also one of the few times when he felt no contradiction when touching his own body. They were private moments, something that he would not normally share with others. But then again, Silco was hardly just anyone.
The water gently lapped against their bodies, coaxing them to relax in its warm hold. I felt soothing against Richard's aching thighs that were still recovering after the night's (and morning's) activities. His knees were poking out to the surface of the milky water. He's idly rubbing against a shy bruise located above his collar bone with his thumb. It is yet another mark left on him by his lover, something that would not be visible to anyone else but to them. Honestly, it is what keeps from falling asleep here. Because, let's be real, falling asleep here in the tub against his lover's chest. It was very tempting to, with the subtle scent of roses filling the air and Silco's heart softly beating to his ear.
Everything seemed just right, for a moment. He could really put all the worries and concerns behind him.]
Mmm.. [He hums quietly, Silco's question bringing him back into the moment. He had to agree with the statement. The cabin had served its purpose for a while, but ultimately? It was better left in the past, along with the memories that it had dragged into surface. The cabin was nothing but another reminder of the man that he used to be, a corpse that hid away all his ambitions and desires.] I suppose this place is better. It reminds me more of my home.
[The inn was bigger than the flat he had claimed for himself. And not to mention that here he had actual staff, which came close to having maids and other servants...]
[Baths such as these always seemed like a giant waste of time. There had been several occasions where he had sat reading or working while Richard bathed, both of them enjoying the time spent together without disrupting one another's preferred activities. This was a rare time that he was convinced and even stopped complaining as he lounged in the warm water. His feet were on the bottom and his knees raised partially out of the water, parted to rest on each side of the bathtub so his lover was between them.
Relaxation itself was a luxury he hardly thought he could afford. There was so much to do, doubly so with Jinx having returned and reconciling her differences. Yet, he had never denied that there was peace in water, holding his body, caressing his skin, whispering of memories of old. The difference was the feel of Richard's lithe muscular body lounging against his own.
His fingers slid over moistened skin before rising to card his fingers through the younger man's hair. So perhaps he had missed this, the closeness, the warmth, the post-coital recovery. Richard welcomed him to bed with a voracious appetite for intimacy, and now was their quiet time together, the lazy, unspoken familiarity of each other.
He nodded his head a bit to the answer, shifting in the water and finally lifting one leg up to rest on the side of the tub similarly to his arm that still dangled on the outside. He hummed softly, holding his silence otherwise.]
Your rooms were not shared there, no? [He knew Richard had said that access was restricted from serving staff to hide that body his lover had a complicated relationship with.] Was it bothersome when you and I shared rooms for those two months?
[Richard shifts in the tub as Silco moves, carefully sliding his body further down so that his head was now resting against the man's collar and the surface of the water reached above his breasts. He tilted his neck to the side so that his lover could have better access as he combed down his hair.
The black curls had grown from what they used to be since his arrival. It was really starting to get a quite long and soon it would be easy to tie it in a pony tail. Something that Richard had only recently become aware of, forming yet more conflicted feelings about his appearance. But he at the moment he did not pay attention to it, enjoying the simple and casual affection provided by his lover. In fact, the gentle focus and touch his body alleviated some of the bad thoughts that were always present in his mind. It made him feel like he was something precious rather than ugly.]
Of course not. There were only two people who had keys to my chambers. [He does not bother naming the men. He's quite certain that Silco knows just who he is talking about. His kingmaker and valet, the only two people who knew the depths of his secrets and darkness.]
[His fingers continued their stroking, carding through Richard's increasingly long locks of hair. He had noted that the younger man was growing it out, and he was not displeased with the growth at all. He had no issues being a hair puller during their times together, the sight of those curls clinging to sweat-soaked skin.
From hair to stroking the back of Richard neck, to back again in repeated relaxing motions of his fingers. His head turned briefly so that he could plant a small kiss on the younger man's crown, breathing in the scent of products used for bathing. He hummed at the expected response too, rumbling from his throat.
He could guess the two people with access. Richard spoke fondly of only two people who were not family. In his own way, Silco felt a warmth in his chest, that he was special to have earned this right to be with his lover in all living spaces. Triumphant even.]
Hmmm. It was different in a manner you would entertain again should the opportunity arise or different in that you accepted it as a part of our intimate interactions? [Silco had lived with many people over the course of his life due to crowding and necessity as a young man, but he'd only been like this with a single person.]
I ask only because I have been considering requesting a new house, one with clearer separation of abodes as it is clear my daughter will be investing time with her male companion. Perhaps I would build it with you and I sharing space in mind. [Smooth like a criminal.]
[Silco really is smart for shooting his shot here right in this moment. The clever fingers combing through his dark hair, gently rubbing the delicate skin on the back off his neck invite him to fully relax against the bigger body behind him, letting his guard down. It's enough to let the question sneak past his defenses without misstepping on any of his triggers.
'What brought this on-', a hazy question begins to form in his mind but then Silco drops the real bomb. The words feel like a sudden splash of icy water right into his face, waking him up to the reality from the arm bubble of safety. There is a subtle change to his body language, though Silco will no doubt feel it. He shifts on the tub, tension creeping up to his shoulders as his chest tightens. He is all of the sudden very aware of the beating of his heart within its cage.
Richard straightens his back and draws his knees closer to his chest, unknowingly withdrawing back to himself. He swallows air, and turns his head to look past his shoulder at the older man, perplexity apparent in his eyes.]
[Silco was intelligent enough and knew Richard well enough to understand he had to disarm his lover first before popping these kinds of questions. Of course, he had mostly been debating rather than considering putting in action, though if Richard was amenable, it would rise on his list of priorities to accomplish in the city.
He was keenly aware of every change in Richard, feeling how his lover curled, withdrew from him. The tension under his fingers was noted as well, and he continued to stroke the back of his lover's neck regardless. If anything, he splayed his hand to stroke his palm down between Richard's shoulder blades to urge his lover to relax.
He met Richard's eyes, making a point not to shift any of his body language. He still lounged as he had been in the tub, though he rolled his eyes at the question.]
Even if she did, this suggestion is purely for us made by me. Those two months we cohabitated were... [He trailed off, struggling to pick the right word. He hadn't cohabited with anyone like that in a long time.] ...let's say, satisfying. I would entertain us trying it again if you were amenable to the idea.
Satisfying.. [Richard repeats the word, brows knitting in a small frown before he turned his gaze back to the water. It's not that he disagrees with the sentiment, or that he isn't amenable to the idea of trying it again. Those months that he had spend with Silco had been pleasant, to put it mildly. There had been calmness and quiet, something that not even Joan or her minions dared to interrupt. And there was no denying that it was only after the split that his emotions had been thrown off the balance.
So, it wasn't that Richard did not want to return to the state of coexisting and being together. But he could not help but think the conversation he and Jinx shared not too long ago. She had tried to pressure him to make his move, trying to grasp for something that wasn't there. 'Take care of him when I'm out of his life.']
She is leaving you, isn't she? [His light was slipping past his fingers, leaving him behind in the darkness. Richard knew just how desperate that could make someone.] Are you looking to fill that void?
[It was the wrong word, he recognized. It didn't betray the true depth of the comfort and attachment he had developed with Richard, and even now, he allowed himself to be strategically blind to the foothold the younger man had in his life. Still, he valued Richard's company, their unique conversations, the camaraderie that came with a similar dark soul as his own, and the ambition that was as tantalizing as it was dangerous.
And he had to ask himself the lengths that he might engage in to convince the younger man to entertain the idea. That his daughter was already a wedge in this conversation was unexpected, leading him to believe that there might have been some kind of encounter between the two that he wasn't aware of. Not situational physically as he would know about that, so when? Where? What circumstances if it did occur?
It was his turn to grow tense at the tide of the conversation shifted, confirming to him the existence of some interaction. His fingers paused on the back of Richard's neck and his lounging leg returned to the water to press into the corner of the tub they were sharing. In a moments notice, he could sit up which was a precursor to standing.]
She has found company she wishes to invest time and energy into that I don't approve of. [And short of locking the boy in a cellar and tortured, Silco couldn't prevent this from happening. The usual manner of killing someone wasn't an option.] Is that what you consider yourself to me? Filler?
[The water moves as Silco changes his position, the small and warm waves lapping against their bodies. Richard lowered his injured hand into the water, forms a small cup with his palm and raises it back to the surface. He watches the water to spill through his fingers and slide along his forearm back to the tub.
And just like that, the nice and relaxed atmosphere between is gone. The bubble of comfort is popped and everything is raw again as they are standing around the hushed topic. Jinx had contacted him, yes, she had made it very clear that whatever he was doing was wrong and that he ought to just conform to her idea of romance. That he should be prepared to repair whatever damage she was going to leave behind.
But it was not just because of her words that had tainted the mood. Silco, too, kept mentioning her going away and using it as a reason for them to enter their previous domestic state. But then again, hadn't that been the same last time, too?]
[Silco's mismatched eyes followed the motion of Richard's hand, the flow of the water as it slid back to join the rest into the tub they were laying in. The arm he had previously been allowing to rest on the curbed edge of the tub finally lifted so that he could close his blue eye at the same time as pinching the bridge of his nose.
He sighed audibly as he calmed himself again, aware it wouldn't help this situation which had shifted from peaceful relaxation to a tense wasteland where neither one of them knew exactly where the landmines happen to be. They would navigate them still; he and Richard generally had a knack for doing so with one another and he doubted this situation was much different.
It simply required careful verbal footwork to reach the same end which should have been less complicated. He cared so deeply for his daughter, but sometimes, he just needed her to stop butting into his personal life. The boy was supposed to be distracting her, and yet, hadn't his own reaction to her pulling away potentially precipitated this?]
You are my lover. As you have been for many months. My opinion on that matter has not changed.
[Richard inhales deep through his nose, his shoulders briefly raising up and then slugging forward as he exhaled. There it was. The word lover that spoke volumes and yet was quiet like a whisper.
They were lovers, yes. But to what end? Their relationship had a long time ago moved past just from physical intimacy. They enjoyed from each other's company outside of sex and there was the undeniable emotional connection. All of that was true. But still the question of what and why still stood.
Richard withdrew away from his lover so that their bodies were no longer touching. He turned to take another look at the older man.]
That's right. [His voice is distant despite the words of agreement. And with that he pushed himself up from the tub, swung his leg over the edge and stepped out of the water, and began to head towards the wall where the towels were hanged on a hook.]
[For him, for Zaun, lovers was a broad scoped word that was more than sex. It was an attachment; it was a relationship type; it was... so much more than simply the physical. This attachment was dangerous, always had been, and yet he wasn't willing to relinquish it.
Even as Richard shifted and moved in the bathtub, vacating the water and leaving him in it alone, it felt similar to a sting. Yet, there was peace in water, a clarity provided to him that would set a path for the rest of his life. Richard wasn't his enemy though, and this wasn't the polluted waters of the Pilt.
Yet, watching Richard move to the towels, he contemplated his next move. He could rise and follow, or he could allow his lover to simply leave him here. He slowly shifted his leg back out of the water to dangle as it had been before, and he made a point of lifting his arm to fold it behind his head.]
What would you like to call us, Richard? What word in your world describes our association? [There was a few seconds of silence as he watched Richard's movements.] Come back to the water. We were previously have a relaxing time.
[With his back turned against to the other man Richard stops in front of the towels and reaches out to touch the soft fabric. His wet fingers rubbed against the white cloth, drying them a bit as the excess water kept dropping from his dark hair strands. He was, once again, feeling the strange frustration raising within him. Something that he did not understand the origins of or what to do with it. The solution to withdraw away to his own mind and go quiet, as he had done in the past when he found himself confused or uncertain, would be so easy to take.
Like a pathetic resigned excuse of man. But he was not that person anymore. No, he had sworn to himself that he'd move past the husk of his former self.
So, Richard turned around to look at his lover who was still lounging in the bath, seemingly relaxed despite the tense and oppressive air in the room. Something that irritated him a little.]
Your daughter left and you called me. She returns and you rush to her side. But now that she is going to leave you again, you're calling me back. [So no, the word 'lover' wasn't the issue but the definition of it. It was both very inclusive yet exclusive at the same time.] I am not mad nor do I expect to be first in your thoughts. [Not anymore, at least. He might want it but he knows better than to expect a happy ending. His current standing ought to be more than enough for a demon like him.]
Tell me, Silco. What is a lover to you if not a 'filler '? A distraction to fill the idle and hateful days of peace?
[Despite remaining in the bath water, Silco was studying his lover where Richard continued to stand by the towels. It was a statement of their comfort with one another that Richard willingly stood in the nude in the relative openness of the bathroom without the urge to cover. That was an accomplishment as far as he was concerned, though the look on the younger man's face told him that this conversation had only begun.
There was a doubt that Richard would return to the bath as requested. The urge to rise and stand grew, but he stamped it down for the moment.
He raised his eyebrow at the timeline of his activities laid out before him without an ounce of remorse for it. Jinx was his priority. He had made that clear on numerous occasions. Yet, he could see that whatever Jinx had conversed with Richard was weighing on the situation even if the examples were more about his actions than hers.]
And have I not also come to your side when you have called me? Have I neglected you when you have told me of your needs? [He liked to believe that he hadn't, that he made himself available and present when Richard needed him. Yet, a small portion caught his attention.] Do you wish to be first on my thoughts?
[He hummed at the question, and Richard was one of two people in Aldrip who he would allow to speak to him in such a manner. He lifted a foot from the bath water and watched the water drip from his heel.]
You are not filler. A lover is someone who I feel comfortable sharing my secrets, my bed, and my time with. [He gritted his teeth.] You are an excellent distraction, and you are about the only one to have me putting down my work consistently upon your arrival. Or I will put down my work to come spend time with.
[Look, that was a massive statement coming from someone who was a workaholic by nature.]
[Returning to the bathtub was truly tempting. The air in the open felt cool against Richard skin, making it to raise goosebumps around his arms, compared to the inviting warm steam surrounding the tub.]
Aye, you have. [He does not rebuke nor deny Silco's words. The man had been there for him numerous times by now, standing by his side while also blowing the life back to the embers suffocating under the weight of the charred logs. The man had filled him with confidence and helped him to gain sight of the vision he once had. All acts that he was grateful for and what made him want to bind himself to the other man more.
Richard missed the time with Silco. The idea of them returning back to that was pleasant one. Something that he wanted. Except if it wasn't for...
Richard walked back to the tub, but instead of stepping back in the water he set himself to sit on the porcelain edge.]
A distraction, then. [He repeats, accepting the word. Honestly, to him it was just the same as the 'filler' as it formed similar meaning. No matter how 'pleasant' he and his company might be he will always serve as nothing but a distraction from something, a temptation. Like Jane and the other lovers had been to Edward. Fine, it's something Richard can work with. ]
Your daughter contacted me not too long ago. She told me she was planning on leaving you and asked me to 'take care of you.' [Something that he had denied to do. Oh, there is no doubt that Richard would stand by Silco's side when the man would spiral back into depths of despair once again. But he wouldn't do it for her.]
If you truly want us to share the closeness and the living spaces again then don't request it because of her. She disapproves of your lover and you disapprove hers and so does the wheel spin around and around. But that's a game I am not going to take part to, for I am not a pawn for either of you. If I am not a filler then don't make this about her.
[Silco was expecting to wait Richard out here in the bath, the conversation and the cooler air encouraging his lover to return to him. This was Richard's idea in the first place, and he had only allowed himself to do this because he thought it would make his lover happy.
He nodded his head slowly at the affirmation. There were very few people that he would drop everything for and Richard happened to be one of them. What they had, what they shared and especially Richard himself had become important to him, something worth personal attention especially when the need arose. And in turn, he found his own needs to be met.
He watched the younger man return, his hand lifting from the bath water to stroke his fingers lightly down Richard's back.] My distraction. [He would have gone on, waxed monologues of how Richard wasn't such a simple singular word, but the younger man took that moment to drop a bombshell on him.
He froze in the bath, his fingers jerking where they stroked Richard's skin, and it took every ounce of self-control to not rise from the bath. Tension stiffened his entire body and his eyes were fixed and staring as unpleasant thoughts rolled through him, fear and panic clawing its way up his throat.
Jinx leaving him? No, no, no that couldn't be right. He had made it clear she was to stay with him, that he needed her always. Certainly she had made overtures before, all of them he squished as soon as he became aware of them. She couldn't leave. She was his daughter, his last perfection of Zaun, the chaotic entity that was both headache and hazard.
Suddenly he sat forward in the bath, drawing his knees up so he could rest one elbow on one and stroke the left side of his face with his fingertips. His breathing was harsh to his own ears as thoughts and plans and strategies whirled through his mind, some discarded, some falling into place.] How long ago did she contact you? Was it in person or the network? If network, was it verbally or through text?
[The nuance could be missing if it was text. No, Jinx had developed the similar habit from him about monologues and no doubt there was some theatrics in whatever she said to Richard. He could fix this. He would fix this. He simply needed more information.
In his suddenly shifted attention, he made a noise to acknowledge Richard's comment, ignoring the whole disapproval part. That didn't matter, not now in such a critical time.] Please, I'm far too affectionate with you for any of this to be a game for me. You and I are basically life partners. [He waved off the insinuation of filler with a hand.]
[His skin feels ticklish under Silco's wet fingers, the slow stroke sends a light shivers along his spine. Richard had to resist the urge to squirm as the warm water tickled down along his narrow back. He kept his eyes looking down at his lover in the tub with soft gaze. There was an air of an affection around them, something that could easily grow and wrap them back into the domestic embrace that they had been indulging in just a moment ago.
But he was not about to allow that to them, not with his last comment about the exchange he and Jinx had. Then again, he figured that it would do best to rip the band-aid off now. They might hold both fondness and devotion to some degree towards one another, and they were both committed to seeing this affair through. But it didn't mean that there weren't thorns scattered around their path - and Richard needed to see whether the other man's daughter was one of them.
So, he watched as the obvious panic grows to Silco's posture, pushing through the surface. He allowed the man to have his moment and fight for control over again before answering to his inquiries.] It was over the network. [Which was perhaps pretty obvious.
And he was just about to push the topic and challenge Silco further, but then it was his lover's turn to drop a bomb on him. ´You and I are basically life partners.´ The words, that seemingly slipped ever so carefully from the older man's tongue as if they were given, felt like a punch straight to his gut. All of the sudden he felt almost lightheaded as the color briefly left his body before shooting right up to his face. His cheeks turned dark crimson, framing his nearly bewildered eyes.
Richard opens his mouth to say something, but the words fails him -- staying stuck to his throat and choking him. Swallowing air, he takes a deep breath and sits up from the edge of tub. However, instead of leaving he lifts his right leg over the porcelain and steps back into the water. But this time he remains facing Silco as he settles back on the tub, placing cheek against the older man's collar bone.]
[Over the network? He was normally excellent about keeping up with network conversations, especially those of his associates and daughter. He had been distracted with formulating plans for the city that he must have overlooked this particular conversation. Would he have stepped in? Unlikely. Mediation was hardly his strong suit unless he was looking to be the winner of such negotiation and in this case, he needed both of them to either tolerate each other or avoid each other. He would be fine with either.
However, Jinx leaving remained an unacceptable prospect, and if he wasn't still in the bath water, he would immediately contact his daughter to confirm the facts. He also needed to find and read that network interaction to gauge her seriousness, assuming that it was public all the way through. It would give him a good sense of how the conversation had gone.
Silco shifted in the bath when Richard straightened and turned, finally returning to the water. He was forced out of his rapid thoughts, experiencing a flare of annoyance that his lover had decided to pull him from his reverie when he was so close to formulating an idea of his timeline. He nearly snapped.
Instead, he said nothing as his eyes found the flushed redness of Richard's face dramatic. Slowly, he lowered his legs again as his lover slid into the bath water with him again, and he parted the circle of his arms to admit Richard to settle back against him. One hand lifted a card through the younger man's lengthened hair, momentarily confused by the softened reaction when things had appeared to be heating up between them.
He shifted, forcing himself to relax even if his energy remained high, causing tension across his frame. However, he did lift one leg to curl it over Richard's.]
Of course. If the prospect of us being seen as closer than 'roommates' or however the Chosen may see the move bothers you, we can remain separate. The choice remains yours. It was an offer, nothing more, nothing less.
[Well, for better and worse, Richard wasn't exactly the most intelligent when it came to emotional intimacy like this. He could feel the stiffness in the man's frame but didn't think much of it as he leaned his own lithe body against him. Richard closed his eyes and took a deep breath when Silco enclosed him back into his embrace, the water once again inviting him to calm down.
It seem that both of them had just dropped a revelation on one another. Richard with his mention of Jinx, Silco with his insight about the state of their relationship. Both done with carelessness and calculation.
His chest continued to ache. A dull and old injury was being poked and prodded, as if to see how much could the fragile fabric take before tearing open again. His heart was beating loudly like it was trying to escape from its confided cage. But Richard kept his panic at arms length, not giving it a chance to rise to the surface. Instead he focused on the arms around his body, the fingers in his hair and the breath tickling his ear. The small things that kept him grounded in the moment and preventing his mind wandering off to the woods.
Strangely enough, Richard hadn't even taken others into consideration here. In fact, he had nearly forgotten that others existed until Silco had brought the outside world up. And yes, it did feel like the familiar stone pressing his mind once again. But perhaps for the first time it didn't seem like unmoveable obstacle. Just another thorn that he could cut down -- together with Silco.
He stays there, allowing them to indulge in the moment before bursting their bubble once again. Despite the stormy and rough relationship that he shared with Jinx, Richard had always tried not to get between the father and daughter. To him such bond was precious and he did want to disturb it. But there was an elephant in the room that they needed to address if he truly was to consider Silco's offer.]
Then you must choose. [He says after a brief pause of silence. His voice is soft and quiet, words spoken against Silco's chest.] If you wish us to be partners.. And for me to give the half of me to you so that we might stand as equals, as monsters together. Then you must choose which one do you wish to see sit on the seat of the power next to you. Me or Jinx.
[There had not been any reason for them to play pretend that they were not both after power and control. They had already admitted as much to each other in the past. They could make the play for it together -- just like he and Buckingham once had -- but that was only possible if there were two of them. As long as Jinx was involved they were doomed to clash and burn each other to the ground.]
I would share this world with you. But not with her.
[He forced himself to relax after they fell to a silence, though he was aware that both of them where experiencing separate intense thoughts. His remained on Jinx and the revelation that she was considering leaving him; if it was just that comment, he would think little about it, but there had been other indications that she had continually considered it an option. Since she had returned, she had been different and no longer fit in the roles that he had for her.
Of course, Richard had challenged him now and again when it came to Jinx, about his life goals of if she refused his legacy, of if she decided a path well away from the circle of his schemes. He'd considered it, but not entirely seriously. After all, Jinx would see reason, so his way was the best for her.
His blue eye slowly opened again when he heard the start of the ultimatum from his lover, and he stifled the urge to rebut immediately that there was no choice. He had given up the current dream of Zaun for his daughter; did Richard dream in any world that he would give up Jinx for anyone? Surely not.
Partners? It was jarring, and yet his mind returned to the topics before Richard re-entered the bath water. Basically life partners... He winced slightly as he recalled his own distracted dismissive words; that had been strategically careless of him. He may not have flagrantly said such words under different circumstances, but they were now out in the world and resulting in an ultimatum.
More than that, it was resulting in a commitment that neither he nor Richard had discussed in any measure of seriousness before. The idea of them being equals was a silent war on his behalf, assured on certain occasion despite the disparity in their apparently station. Silco had always been sensitive, overreacting to the insinuation he was less than, and even now, it was a sore subject he nursed each day.
He shifted under Richard's weight, seemingly trapped in the bathtub now, forced to endure the whiplash of one paramount panic with his daughter to considering the ultimatum laid at his feet by Richard.
It plucked at a truth he knew but wasn't normally willing to entertain. Jinx had no interest in power; her play for it with the Inx club was paltry and uncoordinated and she'd seemingly lost interest in it as he knew she would. Meanwhile Richard was slowly and meticulously gathered power as he would have, more aligned with his own schemes. It had been clear that their ambition would come into conflict eventually, and he had been planning for that inevitability.
Yet, uniting them? It would avoid conflict, but it may require the kind of trust that had landed him with half of his face rotting off and nearly losing his eye. He twitched with the memory, fingers tightening in Richard's hair as he breathed from his nose harshly.]
Are you asking me to choose you over my daughter? [His tone was cold and cutting, yet he didn't try to move under Richard. It meant he was thinking about it.] You will share this place with her regardless of our association, Richard. She is a part of it, and she will also always be a strong part of my life.
[He leaned his head back against the tiled wall.] Unless this ultimatum is... just us. We knitting our lives together into formality and shared ambition.
[It was impossible to miss the effect that his words had on the other man. Richard could feel the way how Silco's body tensed under him, muscles tightening like a bow string along with his pulse quickening. Like there was something raw and primal inside the man that was found his proposition repulsive and wanted to fight against it. A beast trying to cover and protect an old open wound, no doubt. They both carried such marks in their soul.
His ultimatum might have been a bit too much, Richard realizes. Especially since it was followed after the words about Jinx's plans for departure, which alone should be enough to send the man spiraling in the despair. But at the same time, Richard did not care to give his lover any more reprieve. Silco had indeed put the words out there, making them hang upon their neck. And he wasn't about to let them go ignored, no. He'd force the other man to claim them.
When he noticed Silco leaning his head back against the tile wall Richard moved. He pushed himself up to sit on his knees and reached out to grab his lovers face from both sides, forcing an eye contact.] She will always be your daughter. I am not taking that away from you. ['Like a daughter like a father ', Richard thinks to himself. Both assuming that it is either all or nothing and that he is trying to destroy what they share. While it was in fact Silco's role and performance as a father that had first earned him respect in Richard's mind. He would not disturb that bond.]
But it is like you've said. Your daughter has changed and she is no longer parading around as a future leader, no. It seems like her passions lead her elsewhere. However, it might not be too late. You can still gamble and chase that dream you had with her of your empire of dust. She might not be out of your reach just yet. I will be mere a 'distraction' in your life. If that's what your heart desires.
Or you will place your wager on me. I'll be your partner who will carry the weight of our shared ambition together with you. Someone to share your victories and troubles with, a sword and an ally. An equal, not a distraction.
[His eyes were forced from staring at the ceiling to his lover as Richard intended with those hands on his face. Instinctively, he curled his upper lip in a faint snarl, though this was not the first nor would it be the last time Richard mandhandled him. No, in defiance and to seize some control of the situation back, his lifted a hand to settle it on his lover's hip as if Richard needed to be steadied while leaning over him.]
No, you will not. [He would sooner burn everything that they had and were to the ground than actually lose Jinx. In an ultimatum like that, Richard would lose. There was no question in his mind, and even if Jinx eventually did abandon him, he would fight tooth and nail to retrieve her. It would be his entire focus.
But that wasn't the ultimatum. He remained tense as he listened to the proposition, fingers tightened under the water into a fist. She was flitted off for that boy, but also, she was flighty and skittish. Since she had returned, she seemed on the verge of slipping away as if he or anyone else wouldn't notice her absence. Inx had fallen by the wayside, and regardless of her touting herself as the Queen of Zaun, Silco knew the truth. It was a moniker, a title with no weight, least of all here. Jinx's actions could change the course of the entire city, yet it was wild and free, random and chaotic, action and reaction. It took a strong hand to build within it, to use the stirred up mess to the advantage of them and their people.
He stared at Richard, lifting his hand from the the younger man's hip so that he could use a finger to push back the ruff of bangs and tuck it behind Richard's ear. Then his hand dropped so he could wrap his fingers around that burn scarred arm, sliding his hand down the mottled smooth and roughened flesh. Their heterochromia and scars had attracted them to one another, but it had been something deeper too. Richard was ambitious, intelligent and strategic. Richard was a threat in a similar way that Silco was a threat.
They could achieve considerable together. They could elevate and harm each other in equal terrible depths. It frightened him because he had been there before, the rebirth at the Pilt, and he considered himself smarter and on the look out for such dangers again. The isolation had kept him separate for many years, trusting a select few. Yet Richard had slipped in beyond his guard, settled in a spot that had been vacant for all those years, and as much as he would like to deny it, he knew.
Life partners. Ambitious partners. This was not where he had intended this lounging in the bath to travel. Yet here they were on the cusp of an ultimatum, and he was not so easily lulled into the sweetness of Richard's words. No, he looked at it shrewdly while trying - and failing - to not examine his own fear and anger and desires and care for the younger man.
His jaw worked under Richard's hands, eyes studying the younger man even as his fingers stroked their way back up his lover's scarred arm.]
You understand what you are offering, don't you? That we will be united in all things: our lives, our emotions, our ambition. This is a path we cannot and will not deviate from each other unless it is in betrayal and death. You will be mine, and I will be yours. Is that what you want?
[Why was his heart beating so quickly? Why was a flush rising in his face? Why was there a lump in his throat?]
[His tactic is demanding and intrusive and Richard is aware of it. While his hold on Silco's face is not necessarily a strong one but it is a firm enough to keep the other man still and from turning his head away. He forced the focus onto himself, on the moment they were having. Richard refused to be brushed aside in favor of Jinx or any other mundane topic that was at the hand.
The resistance was, of course, to be expected. Silco had never reacted well when he subjugated like this, no matter how casual or subtle the gesture was. So, Richard watched as the struggle of emotions to dance on his lovers features as he schooled down his initial aggression. His own expression adamant and intense as the water drops dripped down along his dark hair on his lover's face.
He could feel the other man's pulse quicken under his fingers as Silco picks apart the ultimatum, dissecting the meaning behind the words that Richard had laid between them.] A pact that is more severe and deeper than one of a marriage. Bond built upon our shared goal and unholy desires.
[It was not the first time that Richard had entered into such relationship. Except, this time it was him initiating it and drawing it out of his partner. Not the other way around.] Do you desire this, Silco? Do you desire me. If so, speak your mind. There will not be second time.
[This was a strange and uncomfortable ultimatum to consider. Normally, it was he who dictated the terms of most relationships and also any contract that he happened to enter into. He took risks as necessary and for the benefit of his goals, and while he received personal gain from them, it was only to turn it back around to aim towards the independence of Zaun. Even here, his moves were for control to dictate the terms of the city and its effects on him and his.
However, this was deeply personal. The intensity of Richard's gaze boring into his own made it clear that this was a precipice that both of them were standing upon. The slow drip, drip of water on his face punctuated the severity of the pact that Richard had placed in front of him where the final decision seemed to rest with him. Richard was all-in, was he?
Silco had never believed much in marriage. It happened but most in Zaun couldn't afford it. Pacts and monogamy were the closest that partners entered into. He stared at his lover's mismatched eyes, studying Richard's expression.] And you can't enter into marriage as you are already engaged in one from back home. [No wonder they had to create something new, something potent.
He took his time mulling it over, considering the implications, the impacts. Their relationship would not be exposed, oh no, if anything, it would remain with Jinx and her alone. Depending on the moves that they made, they could be accused of business associates. He considered how Jinx and Richard would respond to each other and even what he wanted.
His fingers nudged back more of Richard's hair so it stopped dripping on his face. He tucked it lightly behind his partner's ear, still pondering. He would not be rushed into this decision.] I desire you. I would kill for you, and you are one of the few that I offer such an action personally. [Jinx being the only other.] I will accept your ultimatum, Richard, and all the risks and profits that will come from it.
[Uncharacteristically, he surged forward to lock their lips together hard, his fingers sliding into Richard's hair to grip the locks and hold his lover's head still. He bit the other man's lip hard enough to bleed, sealing their pact in blood.]
[It really is unusual situation. One that Richard didn't ever think of finding himself -- let alone twice. Intimacy, affection, connection. Those were all things that Richard had closed off from his life, believing himself to be outside of such human. Even further so after how things went with Henry. The idea of love turned into bitter toxic in his mouth, slowly yet surely killing him from the within.
But then there had been Buckingham. The first person to ever see who he truly was and accepted him. The younger man had held him and showed him a whole new world, binding their bodies and fates together. What he and his kingmaker shared... It did resemble love. Or so Richard thought. But whether it was real or just a foolish dream? He did not know.
And now he was here with Silco. The man who had, just like his young kingmaker, seen who he was with that brilliant eye of his and recognized him as kin of sorts. And now they were about to begin a new chapter together, sharing their bodies and ambitions together. Now, was it love that surrounded them and made them to take this step together? Again, Richard didn't know for sure. Back in church he had came to conclusion that Silco would never harbor such sentiment towards him. But now? He wasn't so sure. Not that it mattered.
'I desire you.' Those words pierced through his skin, forcing through his ribcage and muscles, spreading to his veins and mixing into his blood and filling him up with warmth. Even if it's not love -- it sure did remind him of one.
He does not hold back when Silco craned his neck up to capture his lips with his own. Instead he leans forward down to meet his lover -- no, his partner in the kiss. He sighed deeply when he felt the teeth sink in the soft flesh of his lower lip and draws blood. Richard parted his lips further and forced his tongue past those jagged teeth, diving deep inside Silco's mouth to make sure that the older man would be able to taste his blood.
Then, after a quick moment, he pulls away just enough that he could utter the words against the man's lips.]
In that dream I saw you on the bridge holding a flame in your hands. I've seen your hot white anger to pierce another man like the blade itself. I have seen your sorrow and pain. [The smooth fingers run along the blackened, scarred skin.] And I have seen your care and affection. I accept and want all the parts of you, Silco. Even those that you do not know or see for yourself.
[A cautious man had sworn off of such dangers, of forming connections, of letting someone so close. He was deeply wounded even now, regardless of all those monologues and biting commentary of his own rebirth, of becoming what everyone feared, of never allowing anyone so close to him that he might suffer a similar fate.
Yet, he had. History had repeated itself on its tilted axis. It always did.
The multiples of betrayals layered over each other, building up to the man that he was now. From his parents to the orphanage to the gang to the mines to Vander to the Chem-Barons to Jinx. He had needed all of them to rise and fall in equal parts, and now he was back on the same path that he swore off of. The desire for connection and understanding was not one that he could kick as easily as he liked to believe, and the previous deep lonely anger had choked him until he spat it up and now... Richard slotted into that deep black empty hole and filled it.
And Silco allowed it. He shouldn't. He knew how this would end, but he was willing to overlook the inevitability.
The kiss was like a promise between them, a pact for the path that they had chosen to walk together. He tasted blood, let it coat his lips, let Richard's tongue beyond the threshold of his lips and a soft sighing moan escaped him in response. It was done; the deal was struck, the commitment made. Betrayal was down the line for them, but perhaps they could stave it off for a bit of time.
He kissed Richard's lips between sentences, just a peck, just a small interruption that did not disrupt the monologue. He appreciated the stroking of his ego, feeling seen and heard and accepted even momentarily.]
I see you, Richard. I will elevate you, support you and let no one bring you down. [The corner of his lip twitched upwards.] Your enemies will be my enemies. Your goals will be mine. This place will be our kingdom.
[And he'll be there at the appropriate time, taking an idle look around the stables. Thankfully he has enough outdoorsy clothes now to wear something appropriate, between the garden and his other outings. It's almost weird to not wear a suit and tie all the time...]
[And just like promised, Richard can be found at the stables. He's taken Blackie out of his stall and is currently brushing the horse's dark and bare coat. The saddle is placed on the fence nearby. And when Altius is close enough to be noticeable it's Blackie who pays attention to him first, neighing softly and kicking the ground with his front legs - informing Richard that they got company.
Now, while they have had only limited amount of encounters that does not mean that Richard had not seen Altius around. The man was a regular at the inn, after all. So, he does pay attention to his unusual attire. Well, the man had stroke to him as sensible one. If he had showed up in his suit Richard would have just laughed.]
It's good to see you, Altius. I see that you are serious about this.
[His eyebrows rise momentarily at the remark, after having taken in the horse's appearance, demeanor, and saddle with a bit more interest than last time. He is nothing if not a dedicated student.]
Thank you for saying so, I suppose. I certainly don't intend to waste your time when I asked specifically for your help.
[That said, he is patient, so he won't be rushing Richard, either. He'll follow the other man's lead, however he wants to go about things. Speaking of...]
Nay, I haven't. Teaching was most cases responsibility of lower rank officers or tutors. [Aka, him being the lord protector of high ranking meant that such activities were normally below him. Which was true, more or less. He had a whole north to rule over, wars to fight and kingdom to overthrow. That all had left him with very little time to any extra activities. He had even handed over the task of teaching his son to his servants.
But oh well, he had earlier promised to teach and share his skills with whoever was interested in learning so here they were.] However, riding is considered a basic skill and knowledge in my country. Being able to ride on your own is one rite of passage for a child to step into adulthood.
Have you had any contact with horses since our last meeting?
[He'd had the vague thought that Richard wouldn't have back home, which the man has now confirmed—but it sounds as if he hasn't taught many here, either. That's almost a shame, he thinks. He lets out a thoughtful hum.]
It's not so different, in my time. It's just that we learn to drive a self-propelled carriage, rather than an animal.
[The more things change, the more they stay the same.]
But no, nothing direct. [Passing by as he visited the farm for business once or twice; hardly relevant.] I admit the decision to learn only came to me yesterday.
I have heard of such things, I believe. Wagons that move without horses. [Richard had more or less gotten used to the oddities of the other worlds and it did feel like nothing would really surprise him at this point. But it would still be a lie to say that he didn't find some of the described scenarios uncomfortable or haunting. A wagon rolling by without horses or a visible coach was something that sounded straight from the horror stories of the witches and demons that he grew up with. Well, at least he's learned not to voice out these thoughts anymore.
Richard reaches up to grab Blackie's reins and gently tugs him out of the stall.]
This is my horse, Blackie. I have trained him myself and he has been my loyal companion in many battles. At first I will show you how to prepare the saddle and have you repeat it with Goldie, [He nods his head towards the other horse in the stalls with a dark gold coloring.] After that I'll show you basics of riding.
[Chemistry might as well be witchcraft to some of those of older times, so he wouldn't have been surprised by the sentiment if Richard had expressed it. As it stands, he offers a simple remark on them that might help to explain.]
They use the power of heat to move, more or less. You can't avoid them where I'm from, so it's been... an adjustment, to not see them here.
[He regards the familiar steed and then the other horse with a level expression, gauging as best he can; he's certainly no expert on horse body language. Goldie, he says... perhaps Altius will find a steed of his own choosing that he can name with a slightly different... scheme. But that's not important, for the moment.]
Alright.
[To the point, just as Altius likes it. He very rarely turns down a conversation, but he does prefer to have practical matters sorted first. Richard will find him as attentive and precise a student as he could reasonably expect, despite his utter lack of expertise with horses in general. This is something he intends to seriously follow through with, after all.]
[Please do not go all scientific with him, Altius. Richard's little medieval brain will only be double confused.]
Hm. [He hums as an answer. He supposes that it does makes sense that this world would expose difficulties to all of them. Although, he'd have to admit that he hadn't considered that someone else would feel similar disarray and displacement as he did. At least he hadn't seen anyone else to react the same way as he had to the false light emitting from the orbs in the ceiling or the beeping tablets.
Well, either way. Richard moves to grab the saddle placed on the stable gate. Blackie, who is properly socialised and trained steed, does not seem to mind playing the part in this show-and-tell presentation and only lowers his neck to sniff the grass. Richard hauls the saddle on the horse's back and begins with his explanation, going through each part of the equipment step by step. It really helps that this is not Altius' first encounter with horses and he can trust that the other man can keep up with his explanation.
He finally, after he has grouched down to fasten the strap under Blackie's belly he's finished.] There. Your turn.
[He only said heat! Richard's brain is not so small he can't understand hot things!! Besides, Altius is far from an engineer, himself—he's frequently the one getting simplified explanations from those more technologically minded...
The mechanics of saddling a horse, meanwhile, take much less effort to understand in comparison. He regards Goldie with a momentary, even look to gauge its attitude, setting aside the idea that it's more likely than not a piece of code without any real feelings, and picks up the saddle Richard has set out for him.
He follows Richard's methods, and though he obviously lacks the experience to get it all right the first go around or finish quickly, he's still aware enough to pay attention and fix his own mistakes before he moves on for the most part, paying attention to any of the horse's movements as he does.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
traumaticus) wrote2022-08-15 11:44 pm
Delivery
These should be more comfortable to wear.
Don't let me catch you in the poor excuse you've been using again.
Your secret remains safe with me.
-S.
[Inside the package can be found two items (colour is your choice) of one strapless and with straps. Don't worry, he owns the tailor, so he can commission more or have alterations done.]
Gnosia Event :>
And so more and more he's out at those twilight times of day. Just before the sun rises, when those who operate at night are winding down and those who wake still aren't quite out. It means it's harder to find more tribute for Dara... but it also means there's far less likely of a chance to be interrupted.
The bars closed hours ago, he knows better than to try stalking the entertainment district at this time. Instead he's out closer to the water. Boats and crates and equipment provide ample obstacles and breaks in line of sight, and fishing is one of those hobbies or jobs that tends to begin far sooner than any of the others. He just has to wait for likely prey to show up.
--Though the footsteps he hears on the wooden docks don't sound quite like what he'd expect. They're sharp and evenly paced- like someone who knows exactly where they're heading, but isn't casual about it. They're like a hunter's. And maybe that's what draws him to stand up straight from where he'd been leaning against one of the massive containers, curiosity overtaking caution to investigate who else would be stalking the same prey grounds.
A gnosia, maybe? Another follower like himself? Or perhaps someone determined to 'cure' them, and taking a decidedly more aggressive approach about it than most.
Richard's face is only half-familiar. Once he's seen, probably, but not quite committed to memory. But the aura is decidedly one of a gnosia, and Shinjiro relaxes slightly at that, breathing out a faint relief.]
...Hey.
uwu
Richard stalks the area next to water, listening the subtle waves licking against the hard stony pavement and pushing small boats against the wooden structures. There is calmness in his heart, the drums of war having quieted down. It's fine. It's not like he is heading towards the blood filled battlefield. No, he is currently in the forest, moving quietly in the shades of the tree looking for his next prey.
And oh, look at that. There's one lurking around the containers, stepping right into his vision.
The mismatched eyes looks Shinjiro up and down, sizing him up with his eyes. And just like the younger man, Richard could tell that he had seen him before. But unfortunately the memory that surfaces to his mind is not their brief conversation on the network all those months ago. No. It is much more fresh and recent. One where he saw the man serve someone else. Another Gnosia.]
I saw you before.
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[Richard is right- Shinjiro had been serving others. Assisting most Gnosia he'd encountered and could, which was likely bad anough. But he'd been serving Dara as though she were his own personal sovereign and god. Always the priority, and with the most attention and fealty paid.
Even now, that was who he had in mind while out here hunting, and considering ways to lure people to her. But clearly his idea wasn't particularly unique.
Still, his stance is easy as Richard regards him. Unthreatened, despite the asymmetrical glances up and down. It's been harder for hunters to hunt-- of course a gnosia would be wary. And so he lifts a hand.]
...Gnosia, right? No worries, I'm with you guys.
cw: blood play, sexy times
His breath was quickened from excitement as they reached his desk, and he used Richard's distraction of staring at his face and his blue eyes to begin to open the younger man's clothing with jerking motions. His skin felt hot and flushed, loose strands of hair clinging to his forehead and the nape of his neck from the blood. If he had an extra hand, he might even consider pulling the tie from his hair to let it fall down, but that would mean taking his hands off Richard and that wasn't happening.
He paused as he was pushed backwards, performing a little hop to set his ass on the desk fully before he was eased to lay back. He shifted his shoulders to find a comfortable spot as Richard vaulted up onto his hips. He helped but mostly he returned to pulling open Richard's bloodstained top so he could work open the binder.
"Kiss me," he demanded hotly and rolled his hips under Richard's ass. Already, his pants felt tight from his arousal, but his focus was on those lips and getting them on his.
Ah, Shit. Here We Go Again 🔪
Narrowing his eyes, Richard cast a hungry look at the man underneath him. He kept his palm pressed down on the other's chest, keeping him down while the other one still griped on the knife. Richard slowly licked his top-lip and shook his head.
"No." He answered to the demand, voice full of authority. His poise did not even shake when Silco rolled his hips, briefly pressing his hardness against Richard's ass, sending a sharp jolt of electricity through his spine. A pleasurable pool of heat began to stir in his guts.
Richard mimicked Silco's movement, rolling his own hips and rocking them back and forth. Creating the friction between their bodies and making sure to lean against the hardness inside Silco's pants.
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So intent he was on being able to get his hands on Richard's body that he didn't care about the restraining hand on his chest. He frankly didn't care if he was mostly clothed for this, so it went off of his radar for the moment.
However, he did immediately notice when Richard refused him. His fingers paused on the next hook, and his eyes flicked up from his work to Richard's face. It took his mind a few second to catch up to the refusal, both not used to it and not certain he had heard correctly. His own blue eyes narrowed in return, matching Richard's hungry look. "No? Do I need to sit up and take one then?" He was going to get another kiss one way or another.
The challenge of words only helped to drive his arousal higher, his nostrils flaring as his hips continued to roll under Richard's. He was already hyper-focused on the younger man, now making mental calculations if he had the strength from laying on the desk to flip their positions.
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But still, pressure was still pressure. So, with each unhooked clip he found the air moving more freely within his body, the tension on his shoulders slowly fading away as the support provided by the clothing loosened around his chest.
With Silco's counter the corners of Richard's lips curl upwards, tugging the expression on his face to more mischievous one. He halted his hip movements and slightly leaned forward. But not to kiss, no. Instead he slid his fingers up along Silco's collar, reaching all the way to his throat, the slender digits loosely wrapping around it.
"You can try." The words are spoken with husky and airy voice, making it clear that it is not a threat but in fact a dare.
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His fingers returned to work opening the last third of hooks to the binder, working meticulously as if he were using the time to plot out how to get his mouth on Richard's. As he completed his intended bit of undressing, he shifted his legs so that he could hook his heels on the edge of the desk, thighs nudging Richard's ass forward a bit. It meant he had the ability to twist his hips to dislodge Richard (unlikely), switching who was on top (maybe), or launch Richard forward towards his mouth (also maybe).
"Such a tease... challenge accepted," he purred as he lifted his head so that he could push against that the younger man's hand on his throat, testing how serious Richard was about keeping him flat on his back. His own hands slid up Richard's loose cotton shirt to grasp and massage the younger man's breasts. He'd get what he wanted eventually....
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Silco somewhat succeeds with his plans, managing to slide him forward on his lap. To avoid from completely flopping on top of the other Richard places his elbow right next To Silco's head, supporting the weight of his upper body on it. His now freed breasts bounces a little along with the movement, pressing further into the bloodied hands grasping on the soft mounds.
Despite the skin on his chest not being particularly sensitive, after being subjected the years of pressure and constant irritation, the gesture is still enough to make a sharp shock of electricity to run through his spine. Setting warm pool of excitement in his abdomen as the blood begins to gather between his legs.
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He bared his teeth like a feral animal, digging his heels further into the desk to establish some control. It was difficult because he was at the end of the desk and his legs were long, but his success to push Richard forward was considered a win in his books. He found himself staring up into an equally bloodied face and strained against the hand on his neck to try to brush their lips together by lifting his head.
His hands stroked and massaged Richard's breasts, taking time to feel the weight of them against this palms. He tugged gently on both nipples, letting them harden for his efforts. He had never cared one way or another for breasts, but Richard's were special, basically forbidden and a key part of the younger man's self-hatred so he always took time to touch and feel them, to welcome them as a part of Richard's mismatched body that he was never repulsed by.
Soon his hands slid south, slicing over smooth skin and hardened muscle that spoke of Richard's fitness before he found the ties of the younger man's trousers. He began to open them and stroked a hand down the front, teasing. "Have you ever done this covered in the blood of a kill?"
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The rough hands and strong fingers feels almost ticklish against the soft flesh of his breasts. The shifting weight and heat makes him shudder in pleasure, skin raising to small goosebumps. Richard closes his eyes and let's out a quiet, low moan. His own arousal is growing only more evident along with his hunger for more.
It's almost disappointing when the hands moves on from his chest, leaving his breasts alone and lonely for more contact. But the only reason he won't try push himself down to get more of the friction is because he knows where this is going. Bending his back in flexible curve Richard raises his hips up, giving Silco more room to work his trousers open.
"Only in my own."
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With the assistance, he worked Richard's trousers open and reached around back to pull the down part way the younger man's thighs before their position wouldn't allow any further. He raised his eyebrows at the admittance, expending valuable focus on trying to figure it out - god being horny and a young adult could be annoying. "Your own blood? How badly were you injured?"
His hands gripped Richard's ass before sliding up the back of the younger man's shirt and the loose binder. They stroked back around front so he could take Richard's breasts back into his hands to play with them as he rocked his hips again and his legs eased down to hang off of his desk again now that his goal of a kiss had been achieved and he didn't yet need to flip their positions.
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Richard bucks his hips back, trying to meet Silco's hands before they wander back up, finding their place once again against his breasts. The question, however, made Richard to open his eyes again. The different colored pearls looking beneath the hooded eyelids and long dark lashes. He then slides his body forward a little as he sits up on Silco's waist, not wanting to create too much of distance.
"Here," he says and finally let's go of the other's throat, bringing his fingers to grace over the almost healed round wound on his left shoulder. "An assassin with poor aim made an attempt on my life. The arrow didn't go far in, but the ones behind the attack had drugged my drink priorly." It had been during Edward's brat's ridiculous coronation banquet. The most crucial day for his cause and claim for the crown, and he was ready to risk it all.
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With the hand removed from his throat, he set his heels to back support of the desk and used them to slowly sit up as Richard explained the wound in question. He leaned in to brush his lips over those fingers as he slid his arms around Richard's frame to hold the younger man closer at point of their abdomens. His mouth searched for and kissed that wound, the scar tissue pink and no doubt a bit sensitive.
"And you decided such a wound wasn't serious enough to hold off partaking in sex?" The idea of Richard being a bit of a masochist did amuse him. He rolled his hips up to meet their unison making contact between their legs despite his own trousers being in place. It was starting to get uncomfortably tight.
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He huffs out a amused scoff. Or at least tries to as the voice comes off strained, thick with underlying pleasure and want. It is a little awkward to be like this. Straddling the other with his body being partially bare, trying to catch as much stimulation and friction as he could, following Silco's movements and thrusting his hips.
"It did not happen immediately, ah, after it," Richard responds and throws his head back as he places his weight on top of his knees -- lifting himself up a bit to buck his body against Silcos, "I had to deal with traitors. And had to tie up loose ends. The most of bleeding had stopped by then." But it does not erase the fact that he was still injured when he and Buckingham had withdrawn to chapel. Pretending to be concerned about the state of the royal family and the fate of young heirs they had just imprisoned a moments prior.
Richard can feel the hot hardness underneath him press against his lower body along with their movements, causing his own erection stiffen between their bodies. "Silco.." He moans, rocking himself against the other one with more vigor.
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The scent of death was permeating the room, intoxicating him with the sensation of revenge and brutality complete. His mouth moved to find Richard's smooth column of neck as his arms remained tight around the younger man's middle, yet they began to loosen as the pressing desires of the situation and the awkwardness of their positions forced him to change tactics.
"Did you kill all the traitors? Did you take something precious from them in revenge?"
He shifted, sliding them towards the edge of the desk so he could ease Richard off of him. "Pants off," he said between his mouth moving down to the curve of Richard's shoulder as his hands withdrew so he could work open his own trousers. There was at least some relief with the tension of fabric loosening. Of course, he didn't want Richard to be too far away nor for too long. It was dependence though it had a lot to do with the mood.
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The memory of the spirit that had appeared in front of him in the misty forest makes Richard choke for a moment. For a brief beat his body grows cold from the inside, threatening freeze out anything on its way and make him grow numb. He almost forgets about the heat of the other body pressing on him. But it's the question that demands his attention back to the present.
"No, I--", he sighs, fingers unknowingly tightening around the knife's handle. Richard then swallows air and leans his head back forward, seeking the skin on Silco's forehead with his lips. "I stole the hope from them." And not just from the brat princes but their cunning mother. Damning the entire Woodville bloodline.
He almost didn't notice being suddenly slid off the man's lap. And honestly, it is good thing that Silco states the reason for it, no matter how brief it is, as Richard could already feel a small seeds of doubt and confusion being rooted in the back of his mind. His free hand slides from the back of Silco's neck to the front of his shirt, palm pressed flat as if he tried to keep the other man from running away. Once Silco's done with unfastening his trousers Richard doesn't waste a moment before pushing back in, leaning himself against the taller man with his neck craned up as he seeks for a kiss.
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He pushed his pants off of his hips to his knees, knocking off one shoe to remove a single leg before unwilling to go further. Of course, while he was leaned over, he repeated the gesture with Richard, allowing them both freedom of movement. He noted the hand, blue eyes watching the younger man as he rose from leaning into that hand.
He welcome Richard in between his legs and obliged questing for a kiss, his mouth hot and demanding with tongue caressing Richard's lips and tasting the continued subtle tang of blood there. One hand dropped to grasp his lover's cock, stroking and gently massaging as he hooked his heel around the back of Richard's knee to hold the younger man close to him. His other hand found one of Richard's breasts to enjoy the feel of it under his palm again.
Between kisses, he made his desire irrefutable as he murmured, "I want you, Richard."
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The hand reaching down between his legs stroke his erection does draw a high pitched whimper out of Richard. Closing his eyes he continues to whine and moan against Silco's mouth. His body felt like a hot, soft mold for the other man to manipulate and shape to his liking, making Richard respond to each caress and touch.
It does take some self-restrain from him to break the kiss and pull away so that he could once again look into Silco's now perfect blue eyes. "I want that," he begins, voice heavy and thick from arousal and desire. He moves his hand from between their bodies up to cup the other man's cheek, thumb brushing over his wet lips. "--That fury of yours. I want to feel it in my body."
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His lips were reddened and a bit swollen from the rough pressure of their kisses, slightly parted as he watched Richard. His hand continued to stroke the younger man's cock even as he tipped his face into that hand, both eyes half closing at the dichotomy of gentle and sharpness of their motions with each other. "...do you?" It was almost a whisper; he kept a firm hold of his temper and his lust for violence much of the time.
His hand dropped away from his lover's cock so he had both hand to seize the back of Richard's thighs to lift the younger man up as he twisted around so he could slam Richard down on his desk. It was less rough and more uncontrolled with his eagerness, but he filled the space as he leaned over his lover and lowered his head so he could add sharp nips with misaligned front teeth followed by a purposeful hickey right on Richard's clean shoulder where it could be easily hidden but they'd both know it was there.
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Tonight was all about the monster that lurked behind their calm and calculating exteriors. The ruthlessness violence, nearly animalistic passion, the burning rage. Ricard had seen all those just a moments ago when Silco had lunged at the intruder, sharp knife flashing in the air and painting their little world red. The other man had enjoyed the power, Richard could tell. And well, it wasn't like he hadn't enjoyed watching the other man to let go and true his true colors. If anything witnessing that had awoken the hunger within Richard, wanting to see more of that monster. To feel it.
The grab and switch happens so quickly. Richard barely gets to let a sound out before he feels his back being hit against the sturdy wooden desk. But despite the swiftness of it, Richard doesn't waste a moment to bend his knees so that he can find support with the sole of his feet, carefully pushing himself further up on the desk.
"--Ngh," A strangled sound escaped from Richard's throat Silco's teeth latched on the tender skin on his shoulder, the sharp and hard edges pulling on his flesh. The bite stings ever so pleasantly and send sharp electric shock down his spin, making his nipples harden even more.
His bare tights press against the other man's frame and the free hand reaches to grab and pull on Silco's long black hair as he cages their bodies together. Fingers in his other hand finally loosen the grip around the knife's handle -- allowing the weapon to slip from his hold. For a brief moment he wonders if Silco was bold enough to bite hard enough to draw blood.
"...More, Silco. Harder."
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And if he expected Richard to rescind the request for roughness after their switch, he was dead wrong. If anything, he picked up on and fed on the thrill that seemed to come from the younger man underneath him. He shuddered with his own excitement, so used to a strangle hold of control that it felt unusually freeing for it to be encouraged.
Richard had requested their first time, but they hadn't known their preferences or each other on that level well. As the younger man hadn't brought it up again, he had expected the request to have been a curious short-lived one. Perhaps it was time to revisit that, not that they were overly gentle or cautious with each other in bed, but it wasn't as forceful and animalistic as this.
One hand slid up the underside of Richard's thigh, applying pressure to lift it from where Richard was using the desk for support so he could instead put that long muscular limb over one of his shoulders. He shuddered at the pull to his hair, more coming free from the tie so it dropped against his neck and cheeks as he mouthed on the mark that he left to make it more vivid and large against Richard's pale skin. He absently aware aware of the knife clattering to the floor, dangerously close to his bare foot and if anything, that just heightened the excitement as his world narrowed to this mouth.
He moved to catch Richard's mouth, and he tried to take firm control of the younger man's mouth like he wanted to hurt his lover's tonsils with his tongue. His blunt nails dug into the flesh of Richard's thigh that he was holding over his shoulder as he ground his cock against his lover's ass and vagina. His other arm moved to support himself on the desk, fingers tangling in Richard's dark hair and giving return tugs to the locks as he tested boundaries of how rough the other man wanted it.
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With the other, bigger body looming over him overwhelmingly, pressing him down against the desk, leaves Richard with limited amount of space to move. So, when the mouth descends upon him all he can do is surrender and try follow the other one's lead. The kiss is rough and passionate, sucking and swallowing any stray moans and other sounds that might escape from Richard's throat.
The intensity of the kiss along with the hungry and calloused hands pulling and squeezing him, works as oil to the fire within him, sparking the flames ablaze inside his guts and feeding the arousal even further. The wetness in his groin was now obvious, the cock rubbing against his folds and nether region, spreading the slick with each thrust. The motion is almost maddening, constantly teasing him of what's to come while witholding the initial push.
In a small moment of rebellion, however, Richard tangles fingers in Silco's hair and bites down on the tender muscle invading his mouth. Not to seriously hurt or to draw blood, of course, but hopefully hard enough to give the other one a startle. There was confidence in Richard's eyes, signing a challenge his partner. He might be the one pinned down but it didn't mean he was completely at his mercy.
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Of course, being taller and larger did have advantages that he rarely took for his own, normally because he surrounded himself in people who were even taller and larger than himself. Richard was no damsel, as proven when his hair was taken in hand and tongue bitten. It earned a low growl of pleasure from him, even if he knew he could lose control of his head if he wanted to keep his hair. He'd give Richard that.
His blue eyes were dark and stormy with challenge and arousal, and he scraped his nails down Richard's milky thigh with its little scars from life in combat and training. His hand dropped away at the curve of Richard's hip so he could take his erection in hand to guide himself into position. His initial thrust may have been a touch harder than usual, but being in that wet familiar heat of his lover's body bled tension from his shoulders. Like he wanted to be no where else but here and now.
He withdrew his tongue and then his mouth as he pushed his cock deeper, wanting Richard to hear the noises that escaped his throat. His hand returned to holding that thigh over his shoulder as he stood, dragging Richard up with him to see how the younger man reacted.
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A strangled noise escapes from him, the sound drowning in the wet kiss, when he feels himself being pierced by the other's erection. Despite him being soaked with arousal some force is still needed for the push to breach him. The stretch burns slightly around Richard's walls and he finds himself holding his breath until Silco's fully sheathed in, filling him to the brim.
Needlessly to say, it is a tight fit but hardly anything that Richard couldn't handle. If anything, the hotness of the burn keeps him tied into the present and focus attached to the pressing sensations in his body. His walls twitch and clenches around Silco, as if to try pull him deeper.
And when the mouth finally moves from him, Richard exhales deeply before his breath picks up the pace, air moving quickly in and out of him and pushing his chest up and down. But there wasn't much time for him to adjust his breathing before he felt their bodies to shift as they changed their positions yet again. Richard lets out a quiet yelp, bringing his injured to grasp on Silco's shoulder while the other one stayed against the desk -- trying to work as support.
"Yes," Richard's voice is heavy and hushed as he tries to catch his breath. There's a clear hue of arousal and excitement in Richard's flushed eyes as he peers beneath his damp dark curls. "That's it, Silco."
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He paused to give them both a few seconds to adjust to being linked physically, a low moan slipping passed his lips as those walls grasped his cock. With the angle changing as he lifted Richard's hips, he provided a few small experimental thrusts of his hips, working his lover open and wetter with the stimulation. Of course, being this new age came with race-to-the-finish-line urging, which he held in check.
He turned his face so he could nip and suck another mark into the pale skin of Richard's thigh over his shoulder, scraping with his front teeth. His fingers tugged lightly the hair in his grip as Richard had done him previously as he shifted focus to thrusting in and out of his lover's body. His pace was slow and gentle at first, but quicker than usual, it built to hard and fast like a rutting animal.
"I want to watch you come undone," he growled low in his throat, voice smooth but breathy. "Let the monster out with me, Richard."
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And Richard could tell that wasn't just the heat that was trying to escape from him.
Richard's eyes flutter shut when he feels few thrusts accidentally brush against the bundle of nerves inside him, making him spill the faint droplets of precum. He throws his head as much the grip on his hair allows him to, stretching his neck backwards as he surrendered to the pleasure that was coming to him from everywhere.
The strain on his muscles as his body was pulled and pushed into more challenging position all while being rocked back and forth. The roughness of Silco's hands and snap of hips, relentlessly preventing his mind to wander anywhere else than the melting heat spreading him apart. The voice calling out to him and tempting him to let go. All of it worked to build Richard towards the climax. But it wasn't enough. Something was missing.
Forcing his eyes open, Richard moved his hand that was gripping on Silco's shoulder. He brought the trembling hand over the other man's face, covering the now healthier side to imitate the man's usual appearance.
"Better."
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He could simply enjoy the blood-lust induced passions to completion, and yet, he found himself startled out of his rhythm when it felt sudden that a hand covered half of his face. His rhythm stuttered of course, and he nearly jerked away from the hand until the word 'better' filtered to the ten percent of his brain that was actually functioning beyond bodily instincts.
He exhaled a heated breath, shuddering at the meaning sunk in. Richard... liked his scar? The marred mark of a past near death experience he couldn't escape as an adult, the deep rot that was held at bay because of the administration of Shimmer routinely. He closed his blue eyes and then leaned into that hand. The scar gave him his Zaun nickname from the shadows, but this... felt different. It made him feel warm and accepted, made this young body less worth it.
His hand withdrew from Richard's hair, sliding down to cup and massage a breast before easing down further until he could grasp his lover's cock. It took him a few thrusts to find his rhythm again, but it did return and he timed his thrusting with the stroke of Richard's cock, catching precum on his fingers and using it as a lubricant as he pushed his face even harder into that palm.
"Richard..."
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It had been interesting to see his lover in this form. The young, strong and handsome. It had offered him a glimpse to what the man could have become if he hadn't met the with the betrayal. Maybe he could've been spared from some of the darkness in his soul if he wasn't forced to carry such stigmatizing mark on his body. But that wasn't the Silco that Richard knows and who he had opened his body to. Richard preferred that form over this one, beauty be damned.
Richard's cocked to side when his hair was released and giving him room for more movement. He closes his eyes again and shudders when the hot hand slides down his body, moving the weight on his chest along with the rhythm of his thrusting. When the fingers moved down to curl around his own erection he bucks his hips forward and arches his back, his muscles taut like a violin string. With the added attention on such sensitive member, along with the constant stimulation pushing on his nerves, it didn't take long until Richard could feel the fire explode in his body. Parting his red, flushed lips Richard let out a quiet cry and moved his own hand to grab on the back of Silco's neck as he felt the spark inside him urge the orgasm out of him.
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He did not stop watching Richard as the younger man arched and moved on his desk, papers clinging to that pale skin. The uncovered eye watched the bounce of Richard's breasts with each thrust, sweat creating a sheen on the both of them as they found that unified pace as they chased down their orgasms together. He pressed his face more against that warm hand, one that had caused death right along with his own.
His thrusts sped up, driving for that peak which was rapidly building. He felt and heard Richard careen over the edge of it first, shuddering as those walls clenched on his own cock, which he continued to barrel right along in a messy rutting desperation even as he felt warm spilling over his fingers. The scent of death and blood clung to the back of his throat and nose, layering an element of raw openness.
It probably wasn't right to relish killing like this. Something was likely wrong with him. What else was new though? He and Richard were kindred in that perhaps.
He made a low growling moan as his last few thrusts into that tight heat sent him into his orgasm, and he thrust as deep as he could as it washed over him. He released himself into Richard, shuddering and panting and moaning as he sagged a shoulder to drop his lover's thigh from there so he could lean further to trap Richard against his desk.
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Blood and sweat, pain and pleasure, death and rebirth. Two sides of the same coin, walking hand in hand.
With a choked sob, Richard grabs hard on Silco's back as they both soar towards the finishing line. The blunt nails scratching the surface of his bare skin, no doubt leaving red marks. It was like the embers within his body were finally set in blaze, burning away the awkward lines of his body, melting him together with the one above of him that was relentlessly thrusting inside. And when Silco reaches his climax, emptying himself in Richard, he swears he can feel the other man's heartbeat as his own.
For a quick second, Richard thinks that he might actually black out here and now. But then he feels his body going lax as the muscles finally relax, leaving him laying boneless and sag against the desk. And when he feels the weight of the other body descending down on him, he immediately pulls his lover closer, lips curling up into a lazy smile.
Let's hope that there wasn't anything too valuable on the desk. Because yeah, Richard might've knocked down some objects during their endeavor.
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His back and shoulders rose towards the drag of those nails over his sweat-sheened skin, the burn of it highlighting the edges of his pleasure. He hoped there were welts, maybe even in a little blood to scab in order to remember this unusual moment between them. He coveted this like a secret they could glance at each other in mutual remembrance.
Still, his hand moved from between them as he fell forward on the desk, not caring one bit for the contents that remained and especially not the contents that had fallen off of it. He lay on the younger man, keeping himself buried deep inside of Richard and he dropped his face to nuzzle along the side of his lover's neck and jaw. His chest worked air in and out of his lungs, warm puffs of air against Richard's skin. He peppered a few kisses along his lover's neck for good measure.
"That was... certainly something else." Raw, blissful, animalistic. He didn't deny how good it felt.
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Richard, too, was catching his breath, his chest raising heavily with each intake. The kisses along his neck brought him back to the moment, making him slowly aware of his own body again. He stared up at the ceiling with his wide eyes, looking at the colorful patterns drawn on it with his dazed gaze. There's a cramping ache in his thighs and abs, after holding up such straining position while the other man drove inside him.
He had asked Silco to let the monster out and the man sure had provided. It wasn't like Silco was necessarily the most gentle lover out there, which Richard preferred, but this had been more than that. Speechless, he traced the faint claw marks he had left on his partner's back with his fingers. Indulging in the sensation of being full and pinned down in the warmth. The air was thick with the musky odor. The blood, sweat and spent having mixed into each other.
"..Even the pain turns into pleasure." He says eventually, voice low and airy. Yes, that's his estimation of it all. Richard supposes he did understand what the saints meant when they said that pain brought them closer to divine. Or something like that.
But something was missing.
After a silent break, he slid his hands up, bringing them up to cup his lover's face.
"Silco.. There is something I need to do."
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He opened both of his blue eyes when his lover's hands cupped his face, peering at the younger man. Hair clung to his sweaty skin, and the hair tye was basically doing nothing, giving him a wilder appearance than usual. His breathing was starting to return to some semblance of normal, and he shifted a small amount.
It took him a few moments to process the words, and he lifted his head from the younger man's hands. "Leaving so soon then?" Well, he supposed he'd have to call the cleaners to put his office into rights again.
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But then Silco moves, prompting Richard to follow in suit. With a silent grunt he props himself to sit up and lean on his elbows. There's a a slight discomfort when he eventually feels Silco to slip outside of him, allowing some of the fluid trickle down his thighs on the table. Yeah. The bodies aren't only one's that Silco needs to call cleanup for.
Oh. And speaking of the bodies?
"No. That's not it." He croaks, placing a reassuring hand on Silco's shoulder. "Get me my shirt."
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It was quite the sight, especially the mess they had made together. He'd never had anyone he considered 'claimed' before, and he wasn't a possessive person by nature (or so he liked to think). However, there was something primal and completely sexual of signs of their sex covering their bodies. There was a brief 'we did that', which wasn't unusual in context. They had a sex frequently, but perhaps he hadn't taken the time quite like now where everything came with a hyperfocus before.
He turned his head once his hair was up in a messy bun and stepped away long enough to retrieve Richard's shirt. He grabbed his too for good measure since it was close by the first, and he returned to offer it to his lover. "What are you planning, hmm? We could shower?"
cw: self-harm
Dara is all for ritual cleansing with water. In fact, the nearby waterfall is one of her favorite places to meditate and process things. However...the situation is much more extreme than her usual behavior.
With several pumice stones occupying four of her hands, she seems to be scrubbing viciously at her bare skin and scales. Her tail hardly takes a beating, but that can't be said about her upper body. Thick rivulets of blood stream from the self-inflicted wounds from her persistent exfoliation; the god seems to purposely work at sloughing off skin despite it immediately healing back to normal in a few seconds. Practically pristine once she wipes over the spots. Rinse & Repeat. The last two hands pull at her long black hair, gathering it up and slicing through with a knife. Fistfuls of it float down the river, yet every time she seems to chop the majority of it off, it grows back as if nothing happened.
Dissatisfied, Dara's unhappy expression persists while continuing the thorough "cleansing" of her entire exposed body. It's going to take awhile considering the length of her tail still submerged underwater.]
cw: hearing voices
So, driven by both curiosity and mild concern, Richard decides to investigate further, hand gripping tightly around the handle of his bow as he strides forward. From the corner of his eye he can see a very familiar white fur-coat moving in the shade of the bushes. It does seem like Whitey had decided to stalk Richard for this trip to forest. Well, it didn't matter much to him as long as the boar didn't accidentally do anything stupid and get himself in trouble.
Following the bloodied river current it doesn't take too long for Richard to find the source of it all. And just when he arrives close enough for the waterfall to swim to his visions Richard stops on his tracks, freezing still with his breath getting trapped in his lungs. With wide eyes full of disbelief and fear he stares at the sight in front of him.
The woman-- no, the being is like a vision come to alive straight from the old scripts and stories describing the demonic creatures. Something that will come and eat you alive, steal your soul. "That's why you can't go into the woods alone. The terrifying witch will get you," he hears a sharp hiss in the wind, rustling alongside the leaves. Silently, he raises his shaking arm, draws an arrow from his case and places it in its right place. Richard inhales deep through his nostrils, holds the air for a heavy second before letting it out, calming himself down.
Then, with sharp and focused eyes he takes aim, pointing the arrow at the demon's back]
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All during her unbothered movements, Dara debates the real question: what to do TO this person? If he had chosen to make himself known, then this wouldn't have become an issue. It's all poor timing-- her blood is still boiling from Sha-Ming's emotional backstabbing, and while the exfoliation process did help a bit, now she has to deal with this situation. She needs to know what she's dealing with.
With unnatural speed, the curse god practically melts into the water as she sinks herself. The blood, the disturbance of the falls, and the depth of the river provides a good amount of coverage to zip along with the current. It's the illusion of fleeing that allows her to begin the hunt.
Unbeknownst to Richard, miasma begins to permeate through the forest. Invisible and scentless to those without supernatural senses, the spiritual contamination is meant to heighten any fears. Dara intends to observe his reaction from amongst the treetops. It's been quite some time since she has decided to start a haunting.]
cw: hallucinations
Well. He's full alert now. With his eyes sharp and focused Richard takes a step back, holding his readied bow close to his body. He looks around the surroundings, trying to spot any trace of his prey -- unaware just how much their dynamic had flipped the moment he decides to draw his first arrow.
Because, oh boy. Is he an ideal target for Dara's haunting or what?
Despite managing to get his breathing under the control just a seconds ago, doesn't mean that the paranoia left his mind. No. Because the moment the fear and his demons stir in him and sink their hooks right into his mind, slowly pulling him into the dark depths of his own mind. So, when the miasma began to spread and pollute the air Richard can feel those hooks dig deeper almost immediately, the shy push becoming into a harsh shove.
"Richaaard, Richaard," the previous hissing voice turned into a deep demonic growling, hiding any other sounds underneath it. "Richard. Why did you come here again? What is a demon child looking for?"
Tensing up, Richard whips his head to look up at the sky. The normal blue sky is suddenly covered in the thick black veil and trees grow visibly in his eyes, extending the long and creaky claw-like branches towards him. Richard spins around his heels and releases his arrow into the unknown, desperate to hit something that isn't there. But as the arrow flies off aimlessly through the air, the voice begins to laugh the cackling filling the air.
The ground below Richard's feet opens up, revealing a dark abyss. Several skeletal hands sprout out of the depths to reach up to grab on Richard's body, latching on his limbs and torso, trying to pull him inside.
"Richard, Richard. What are you doing? Come down and join us! You belong in the darkness with us, little changeling. Down here you can dream all you want!"]
N-No! Stop---, [Richard screams as he tries to violently struggle against the constricting hands. He manages to get one of his hands free long enough that he can bring it to grab the hunting knife he keeps strapped against the small of his back. He quickly unsheathes the blade and begins to stab on the hands trying to pull him down into the depths of madness, earning only chorus of laughter for his efforts.
"You belong here with us, Richard! After all, the prophecy---"]
No! Don't! [Richard turns his knife at the ground, sinking it deep into the dirt. His own screams are growing only louder and becoming more desperate, as if he truly was fighting for his life. Well, in his mind he might as well be. While for Dara, or whoever might be around, he only appears to be grouching down on the ground while stabbing the grass.
Honestly, have fun watching struggle and flail?? However, not too far away from the scene there is a pair of small brown eyes staring up at the sky at Dara's direction. Seems like Whitey's on the watch!]
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...Maybe she shouldn't be surprised that a person who's quick to get stabby tried to also aim an arrow at her.
Richard poses a certain type of mystery with his reaction. The majority of people who stumbled upon her territory were not necessarily the violent OR armed type. Another factor could be that they're from different cultures; two worlds colliding is one thing, but ignoring that, he still pings as a foreigner in her brain. The part of her that thirsts for knowledge wants to experiment. And considering her recent discovery and following mood, Dara gives into that temptation by raising a hand to manipulate more--
Richard should be so thankful for his animal companion. Catching Whitey from the corner of her eye makes the curse god freeze and fully turn her attention to him. Subsequently, the miasma production fades quickly while Dara squints at the boar. Not a sign of aggression! More...confused than anything?]
Why do you look so familiar? [A headtilt as she stares at the pet.] You'd think I would've remembered that I'd seen you before, but I can't place it.
[WHO CARES ABOUT RICHARD WHEN Whitey is so much more interesting!!! Dara slips down from her perch with the giant serpent tail splitting and braiding into leg forms. She certainly isn't going to chase the boar (instead choosing to take a seat on the ground), but she sure is showing her back to Richard again. From the god's perspective, he isn't enough of a threat when he can be driven mad so easily.
Whitey on the other hand is a fun mystery. She has limited ability to communicate with the animals living within her territory, but she hasn't felt the need to try it out here.]
Hey you, come over here and nod if you know me.
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But yeah, Dara is absolutely right. Whitey is definitely more interesting than whatever Richard's going through.]
M-meep! [Whitey lets out a high-pitched noise and quickly ducks underneath the leaves when Dara turns her attention away from Richard to him. Sorry, he is always a forever coward. However, when Dara descents to the ground-level, taking notably less scarier appearance, he finds his courage enough to peek his head underneath the heavy bed of leaves. His pink snout shakes a little as he sniffs the air. There definitely is something very familiar about this lady, he thinks!
Curiously, he carefully steps outside of his hiding place and walks up to Dara.] Meep. [He grunts softly and tilts his head to side. Who knows! You're pretty familiar, lady!]
[Action]
It was also in that long pondering session that Silco realized how much he was protecting Richard. He was loyal enough to protect and provide benefits to allies, but he had never done so against Jinx before unless it was temporary to protect her as he investigated. But this?
He had come early in the morning hours, slipping in and announcing himself so that Richard had no need to attack him before he had shed his clothing and joined the younger man wordlessly in that bed. He had buried his face against the back of Richard's neck, curled an arm around his lover and willed himself to catch a few hours of sleep before he had to be up and out to upkeep their thin-veiled ruse to the world. What followed was a few winks of sleep between pondering how hard he was going to fight for this, the ability to surrender, to be briefly vulnerable, to have a secret he didn't have to share...
Silco sighed and unwound himself from the warmth of Richard's body and rose to nurse the fire back to life. That done, instead of pacing, he convinced himself back to Richard's bed but remained sitting up watching the flames grow and consume the wood.]
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He hadn't really cared for the girl that much the begin with, aside from some mild curiosity, but he had seen the bond between her and Silco and that was something he respected. The closeness of the duo did bring fond memories of his own connection to his now passed father. However, with these recent antics of her that could very well be described as harassment, she had made herself to be an eyesore. And Richard was having hard time keeping himself neutral to her. It actually makes him miss Buckingham and his shameless and cunning mind.
But seeing that he was still alone here, Richard had kept quiet about Jinx's latest attempts to reach out to him. After all, he had said to Silco that he would not require his help when dealing with the daughter. That, and part of him did not wish to create a ripple between the family. Not now, anyway.
Richard had resigned himself to bed when he had seen the message from Silco, curling up in the sheets and trying to catch sleep. It had, of course, been an useless attempt as his mind was wide awake, too occupied by the thoughts and anticipation of knowing that there would soon be another body lying next to him -- unknowingly shielding him from the horrors of his own nightmares and coldness of the isolation. It truly was becoming like with Buckingham, as Richard found himself more and more relying on Silco's presence to be able rest in his own bed.
So, when Silco had arrived and joined him in the bed Richard felt a relief wash over him. He reached to take Silco's hand to his own, sighed deep and allowed his body finally relax as the long wait was finally over. It didn't take long until he found himself falling asleep on the man's arms.
He did not wake to Silco stirring in the bed nor to him getting up and coming back in. In fact, Richard stays in the blissful, dreamless slumber for a while. It is only when the first shy morning lights begin to peek inside from his window, waking up the early birds and inviting them to sing when Richard finally slipped back to consciousness. Slowly blinking his sleepy eyes open he glanced up at Silco and wordlessly moved his injured hand to place it on top of the other's, seeking for connection.]
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He had never actually pondered the possibility back in their world, but death then coming here had slowed his life down. He had to work to build his empire back up, and he had less associates to spread his webs out and had to do so personally. And family drama had followed him, but he could deal with that because it was personal for them and an annoyance to him.
Now he was sharing Richard's bed, and he found himself enjoying the younger man's company. Oh he recognized that the Duke was a danger to him both physically and in the future if motivation for ruling took over, but if anything that made what they had even more intriguing. Richard was a strange broken puzzle who somehow found comfort in a monster like him on a different level than he had with others.
He was drawn from his thoughts and his gaze regressed from that thousand mile stare as he felt the younger man stir next to him and a hand on his own. He sighed from his nose and shifted to stretch his shoulders that had stiffened from sitting in one position too long. Then he moved to lay down next to Richard again, pressing his forehead against the younger man's temple.]
We need to talk. It's safe to assume that Jinx is making accusations at you; she's been doing that to me for the last few days. [Good morning with that heavy topic. He closed his blue eye and gave Richard space to wake up now that he had set the stage.] She's... a handful when she's jealous and thinks I have secrets from her. [To say the least.]
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Except then comes the words, bursting the bubble that Richard had built around them through the night. So much for slow and calm morning, huh. His hand stills for a brief second and the expression on his face changes, brows knitting together in a frown and lips pressing together into a thin line. Well, at least he is awake now.
Richard ceases his stroking and pulls his hand away, turning his head to face at the ceiling.]
..I do not appreciate the tone she takes with me.
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Yet, the warm moment was soured with his words, and he wished he could regret them. He couldn't though, aware that he and Richard were wise enough to understand that they had lost control of both their 'secret' and the narrative that went with it. That was dangerous to them both.
He pulled his face away and rolled onto his back so he too could stare at the ceiling. And perhaps to give Richard distance if the younger man would prefer to be away from him.]
I don't know what exactly occurred between the two of you, but it appears she has the same sentiment about you. I have an idea based on the fact that you've openly stated that you're married. [Richard came from a time period that did remind him of the books he read about Piltover's upper class.] It will only grow worse from here. We've lost control of any peace or secrecy we may hope to have about this.
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However, whether he had been aware of it or not didn't mean that Richard liked having to face it at all. The usual darkness awakens from the back of his mind, calling forth the anxieties that made his heart beat fast and his lungs within his rib cage feel far too tight. But instead of the fear it was irritation that rose to the surface.
Yes. He had mentioned being married. But what else he could have done? Deny Anne? Ridiculous. Especially when there were people present in this world who knew of him and his life. Such lie would be easily caught and trampled. And why should he have to lie about his status. Richard wasn't ashamed of his marriage, or his wife. If anything they both legitimized his status and worth -- working as a shield from piercing rumors and accusations.]
I do not owe her explanation of my actions or the choices I have made. [He says, voice thin and cold. He then sits up on the bed, for once not caring to cover himself.] I have left her alone. It is her who keeps harassing me. If she truly wants to follow me and insult me with her heckles I will not stand by and do nothing. She is no longer a child.
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When Richard sat up, the gulf of space - which wasn't all that large - seemed huge. He reached up and pushed his fingers through his hair to pull it from falling into his face. It stayed here, mingling the growing streak of silver with the brown, and he watched Richard with his mismatched gaze.]
We come from different worlds and different traditions. In my city, marriage of legitimacy are not common, and wandering to another's bed while in marriage is a good way to have one's liver removed with a knife. She is... concerned about loyalty. [He sighed as he considered the notion he was technically Richard's dirty secret, but then again, the younger man had much to hide in the way of secrets. He was likely the least of them. Yet, would it matter in the end?]
She won't stop until we openly admit to her we are... [He trialed off; they had never put a label on what they were before. They'd technically made no official commitment to whatever this was. They just... kept meeting.] I will understand if her behaviour is overwhelming and you'd prefer to not have a part in it....
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If I were to discover another sleeping in my wife's bed it would very well be in my rights to plunge a knife into him. Marriage is not a joke to us either. [He states, feeling a need to defend his own world and culture, not wanting to leave any room for doubt for disloyalty or dishonor. Marriage was a sacred bond, something that no lover should be able to disturb. In normal situations, at least. Although, there was nothing normal about Richard's own circumstances and marriage with Anne.
And it was that abnormality that allowed him to be involved in this secret between him and Silco. They were both men who carried darkness with them that set them apart from most of the rest, something that made them just a little bit more like monsters than men. Being aware of what to show and what to keep under discretion was essential for their survival, so keeping this... affair, if one wanted to call it that, in secrecy aligned perfectly with that line of thought. Even in a city of sinners like this one, it only felt natural to stay quiet about their involvement. After all, what they did was no one else's business but theirs.
There is a brief pause while Richard remains mute, lips sealed shut as he tried to tamper down his anger. The tension builds up around his shoulders and Richard curls his fingers around the edges of the blanket. Does he want to deal with Jinx? Quite frankly no. Not if it is going to be like this.]
And? Does she wish us to make a similar humiliating announcement as the other person did the other day when confessing his affections towards a jester?
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So I can expect if she makes her way here and finds us like this that I'll be fending off a knife slipping between my ribs? [The marriage discussion was clearly a messy one, perhaps even more so than the Jinx one, though not by much.] If it's not a joke, why are we doing this, Richard? Because she isn't here or because she doesn't know how similar we are to one another?
[There were some aspects of oneself that couldn't be shown to everyone; he had the confidence to lean into being a monster. It's what those of his world expected him to be, and so he would for his own goals. It seemed to him that Richard was the same, and he didn't deny that there was considerable comfort and pleasure with someone he didn't have to justify his actions to or mince his words with.
He huffed softly at the question, reaching out to stroke a hand down the middle of Richard's back.] I would never make any public announcement. My business is mine. No, I believe she wants me and by extension you to admit we are sleeping together, that we don't avoid dropping one another's names or deflecting any further.
[Would it make things better? Probably not. She had already spat at him that she would never forgive Richard or himself for refusing to name drop in the first place.]
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The question leaves Richard quiet. Why were doing this, indeed? On one hand the answer was rather simple: because they were lonely and could find remedy to that in these moments. But then again, it is everything but simple. Richard was married and, despite his seemingly uncaring behavior, he held respect to that union between him and Anne. When the stage had been set, players put in the places and trap activated for him to gain the control of the crown it had been her judgement that had the final say. Without Anne's support, Richard wouldn't have proceeded in his final act of deceit.
And yet. He was here, with another man in his bed out of all things. Betraying Anne once again.
"That is because you're a demon, Richard. You can't help it. Your every desire is a sin." A dark voice speaks to him somewhere from the shadows. Richard doesn't move to acknowledge the voice, but he is very well aware that if he were to do as much as turn to look to his left he'd see a familiar hooded, faceless figure cursing him.]
You knew about her. Why does it bother you now? [Richard hadn't been shy revealing his marital status to others, Silco included. He had even shone light about his situation with Buckingham to the other man and it had not seemed to bother him. If anything Silco had promised to stay by his side and fill the void of solitude. So, what had changed? The doubt spread to his body, making his breathing and heartbeat quicker as these uncertain thoughts plagued his mind.
The touch makes him shiver a little, fingers curling tighter around the edges of the blanket.] A truth like that is dangerous when let out of confident. You know that.
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[He shifted his other arm behind his head, fingers flicking against each other to prevent him from giving his away his normal tells. His hand remained stroking up and down Richard's back, feeling the tension in those muscles.] She's not here. Neither is he. It doesn't bother me because I'm aware of the potential... finality of this if one or both make their way here. [Well, maybe not the first person but definitely the second.
He sighed and stared at the ceiling. He was still convinced they had lost the narrative and keeping this a secret between them could escalate matters beyond what they could reasonably control.] I do know, yes. I also know that controlling information is imperative for both of us. Are you... ashamed of this?
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There is a painful sting in Richard's chest when Silco brings up his kingmaker again. The desperation hammering into his heart like a sharp wooden stake. He hates just how mentioning the possibility of Buckingham arriving is enough to fill him with the merciless hope, clawing new wounds to his soul over the old ones. It reminded him of the days of the past when he had looked at different source of light - hoping to see a glimpse of those gentle eyes looking at his way. The memory brought a sour taste to his mouth, making Richard loathe himself even more.]
..It's not that. [Because in the end, it wasn't this connection that he was ashamed of. No, the source for it lied with himself and his own, bottomless pit of self-hate. Despite their shared similarities in privacy, Richad was not like Silco. He could not let the people see the monster that he was in broad daylight.] Why haven't you told her yet?
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[He noted that Richard didn't answer the question, nor rebutted the accurate statement that the younger man would most definitely walk away if the 'other' came to this place. It was inevitable, and he closed his blue eye as he reminded himself of that.] Then what is it?
[The question drew a low hum from his throat. Before he had come here in the early hours of the morning, he had asked himself that same question and parsed out an answer for himself. Would it satisfy? Did matter?] Because I was protecting you. Your secrets are yours to give when and to whom you wish to.
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It is cruel, he knows, and that he is no better than Warwick who used both of his daughters as bargaining chips as he tried to form alliances left and right just to destroy Edward. He was using Anne the same way to ensure his own claim and secure himself. But what else can be expected of a demon like him?
Yet another heavy silence falls between them as the direct questioning continues. However, it is very different within Richard's own mind as the voice from before is screaming at him again, shouting the curses at him and forcing his mind even further into isolation.
'Demon, demon!', 'To an undigested and deformed lump!'
Richard can feel his chest and throat tightening, making it hard to breath. Letting go off the blanket he brings his hands over his temples and pulls his knees up towards his bare chest, curling up more to himself.]
It is a sin. [He says eventually with a quiet voice, feeling the distance between growing as he knew that Silco would most likely not be able to understand this reason.] I am demon who pulls others into the darkness to satisfy my own desires.
['Your every desire is a crime.' That is the truth that he can't let out of this confined room. Silco might be able to stand tall and proud in his skin of monster, but Richard had so much to lose. Even here in Aldrip, with this Chosen still looking at him.
But the unexpected confession is enough to cut through the curse and silencing the dark voice for a moment, pulling him back to the present from the depths of his mind. A brief wave of disbelief washes through his mind and lowers his hands just enough to catch a glimpse at Silco.]
Has that changed?
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This was not it. As he watched the younger man curl into himself towards the fetal position, he found himself warring with reaction. On one hand, it was a statement of the trust they had built that he could pick out this vulnerability, but on the other, this weakness would damn whatever this was. He was all for games of the word, but he also was plainly straight-forward on certain topics and expected others who had earned his trust to do the same.
Yet, the claim of a sin actually earned a sharp noise from him, and he set his elbow to the mattress too push himself up to sit. He shifted so their bodies were close together without being in direct contact. He put his mouth close to Richard's hand covered ear.] What is sin but the declaration of someone standing from an ivory tower telling you that you aren't good enough? We are allowed to give into our desires; we are allowed to seek happiness and pleasure and fortune and knowledge.
You've forced me to do nothing that I don't enjoy.
[He shrugged his bare shoulders as if nonchalant about the idea of sin. Which ones? He valued loyalty over anything else, but he understood that everyone had an agenda and a limitation.
He tilted his head to meet Richard's gaze, leaning in so he could rest his chin on the younger man's shoulder.]
I still haven't told her. [So no, it hadn't changed.
It was, of course, only partial truth. There were more complex reasons beyond protecting Richard's bodily secrets. He wanted to; he wanted this; he was lonely even when in a room full of people; he wanted to protect them; he wanted to protect Jinx. On and on it went if he scratched to the deeper levels.]
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The touch helps to keep Richard grounded in the presence, preventing him from falling too deep into the dark depths of his own nightmares. At first, at least. Because when he words fall from Silco's lips Richard can feel his stomach dropping and his soul being pulled back.
'You've forced me to do nothing that I don't enjoy.' That is because the forbidden fruit is always the most sweetest. Or so he would normally image a reply to such statement if it wasn't for the lingering implication behind the words that he had indeed tempted the other.
'That is what you always do. Ruin people with those sweet words slipping past your lips and with that demon body of yours!' The voice speaks back to him, heckling as the entire room is covered in the thick black veil, blocking the morning with its light and sounds from entering the room. The veins are coiling around him again, pressing the spikes against his flesh.
Richard's eyes turns away from Silco once again, focusing in the distant spot on the wall, trying to shake off the anxiety from his skin and fight against the panic that threatens to swallow him whole.]
But you want to. [He says eventually, tongue heavy and words tasting like rot in his mouth. Keeping his expression neutral he slips further away on the mattress and moves towards the edge of the bed. ] I will need to wash. We should continue this discussion after that with a meal.
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The distance between them seemed to gulf quickly even before Richard made motion to move away from him, and he expected that there was something that he said which had had the opposite effect that he had intended. For all intensive purposes, this conversation and all of its topics were over, and they had to start from scratch slowly and carefully once... whatever this was passed.
He sighed from his nose when Richard eased away, and he pushed his fingers through his hair as he watched the younger man retreat away. This was one of those 'I will hide under the desk with you' moments, he expected, though very, very different with Richard. The tells were similar.
Silco gathered himself, tucking away all the vulnerabilities he might want to expose and straightened his spine. Like that, he set his shoulders and threw off the blankets and slipped from the bed, making a point of stretching casually.] I will join you then.
[He came around the bed and offered a hand to Richard, gesturing with his head towards the bathroom.] Let's go. We don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to. Just us enjoying indoor plumbing and clean water.
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The words spoken to him echoes from somewhere in the distance, pushing through the rustling of leaves and the creaking of the branches that extended their claw-like twigs towards him. The voice is laughing at him as he reaches out to place his hand on top of the offered palm. The movement, as simple it is, feels heavy and difficult as the vines kept clinging on him.
Once he's taken the hand, Richard uses it to pull himself off the bed and to his feet. He moves completely on autopilot, neutral eyes not reflecting the turmoil and storm raging in his mind.
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That finished, he gave a small uninsistent tug to Richard hand as he took them both to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. At the same time as they begun to walk, he simply hummed a little soft tune of Zaun. There was no need to talk and honestly, in a state like that, words could make things worse than better so he didn't bother.
He pulled them both to the shower and tub, urging Richard in as he turned on the water with the other hand. He let the younger man choose where to sit or stand in the step up as he concentrated on making certain the water was an acceptable temperature. The sound of his humming increased to be heard over the sound of water. He did not release his grip on Richard's hand unless it was because the younger man pulled away from him. Never the other way around.]
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But Silco, like always, was a different story. He could see through the barriers that Richard had build around himself and recognize the hurt within his mind and how the curse distorted the reality in his eyes. But instead of trying to force Richard out of the spell he choose to approach the situation with comfort, allowing the moment to play and die out on its own course.
Richard wasn't sure how he felt about it. Part of him detested the softness that kept him lingering between the two worlds, unable to break him free from the doubts plaguing his mind but also preventing him succumbing to them completely. But then there was the other part of him, a much stronger one, that desperately wanted to cling on hope and acceptance that is offered to him -- despite knowing that it ultimately would serve as another knife piercing his soul.
Richard stays quiet, reacting only minimally to Silco's actions. His gaze lowers down to look down at their joined hands. And as they begin to walk his mind automatically snaps to the distant memory from his past, when he had similarly clung on a guiding hand that pulled him only deeper into the woods. His vision narrows and his heartbeat grows only faster and louder as he is remembering the warning.
Do not let go of this hand.
The walk to the bathroom is not a long one, taking a less than a minute, and yet it felt like an eternity to Richard. And once they're in and door is locked he feels a wave of relief to wash over his body, a heavy sigh finally escaping from him - as if he they had just crossed a long and dangerous threshold. How long had he been holding his breath?
It is also then when Richard finally does register the unknown song that Silco had been humming. He briefly lift his gaze from their joined hands to look at the back of Silco's neck, expression finally shifting and showing some emotion as the uncertainty pushed to the surface.]
Why are you doing this?
cw: mental illness
Some made plays for egos or fabricated stories about one losing their grip. It was the other person's job to twist those tales on their head and prove themselves to be still perfectly capable. It turned into endless squabbling and petty disputes that lost focus on the goal. Weakness was the true killer in his position, so he very often used brutal force and underhanded tactics to keep the focus on the end game and insert how much power he wielded even when others wavered; it drew them back into line, and at worst, he'd wipe them out and elevate someone who could manage the weight of responsibility.
Yet, with Jinx, force had gotten him no where. Her grief and mental illness were so deep that trying to force her out of those with forced focus or strong physical action would only make the situation worse. His tactics had changed to letting it play out but being a solid and constant presence, to build trust when others would take advantage or strike her. He had never, ever struck his daughter, rarely raised his voice and always provided a listening ear even when she was in the full depths of some mad thought or emotion. A calm in the storm.
It was a tactic he thought would work with Richard, being that calm and centering presence that went about closing off extra stimulus. It had worked before when Richard had been attacking the communicator and a few other minor instances. He expected that it would work again here, though the distant look and the stony expression that hid the turmoil beneath told him that this was a particularly bad episode. How bad could they be? He didn't know. Did it matter? Not particularly.
He was adjusting the temperature of the shower when he heard the question, turning his head to regard the younger man standing within in grip. He gave a gentle tug to that hand as he drew them both into the shower, even going so far as to pull Richard against his body if the younger man would allow it as the warm water poured over his skin.]
No one should wander alone in that darkness. [He shrugged, uncaring if the explanation was unsatisfying.] I can't go with you to wherever your mind takes you, but I can remain a point of contact to allow you to find your way out again. If you ever wish to talk about it, I will be an ear to listen to try to understand so I can help you further. Otherwise, hopefully this is what you need.
good that one of us is responsible with the cws...
It was all easier said than done, of course. The vines tightened their hold around Richard's body, the sharp thorns sinking deeper into his bare flesh, and kept dragging him back like harsh hands pulling him apart. Both his body and mind felt exhausted as he continued to fight against their lure, not wanting to let him succumb and panic here in front of his lover. And he was already faltering as the struggle brought the distress over his face.
The explanation Silco gave him was hardly a satisfactory and failed to provide him any answer. Why would the other man go this far to provide someone like Richard comfort and sense of security? Why would he keep holding his hand even though there was a gap forming between them with the issue of Jinx.
'Richard. Richard', the voice hisses at his ear. 'It's because you're demon. You have bewitched him with that body of yours! Or have you gone truly mad and think that you'd be wanted?'
Once again, Richard lowers his gaze down and presses his lips together into a thin, anxious line. However, this time he does not immediately follow Silco but stands still when the man tries to tug him towards the warm water. The tension and stiffness returns to his body as he tries to close his ears of the curses.
The long and slender fingers curl around Silco's hand, squeezing it harder.]
..I am not mad. [His voice is quiet, only barely audible over the rush of the shower. Richard wasn't sure who he was addressing with his words. Was it Silco or the hooded figure who he knew was there with them, waiting to send their army of demons and spirits after Richard any moment. Then, gritting his teeth together, he steps forward into the warm shower and presses himself against Silco's body, forehead leaning against his shoulder.] I am nothing like him.
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The expression on Richard's face was enough to tell him all he needed to know about the internal struggle, and it was not his fight. He fought the battles beyond them in the physical world and provided a safe space for what needed to be fought internally where no one else could see. His job was to protect so that weakness was never shown beyond those walls as much as he could.
But this wasn't Jinx. These weren't her demons. This was Richard, a man who had fallen into bed with him for the last three months. A man with many, many unspoken secrets, few of which Silco could claim to know anything about. They were, in a sense, private men even with each other, accepting one another as monstrous and basking in that with their togetherness.
Why was he protecting Richard? Why was he putting efforts into hiding these vulnerabilities from the world? Did he see some of his daughter's struggles in this man?
Despite his own swirling thoughts hidden behind his mismatched eyes, he was watching and listening for signs this would go one way or the other. A keen sense of hearing was one of the few physical senses that remained well intact.]
No, you are not. You fight internal battles against foes you brought with you from childhood. [That was a guess on his part from years of exposure to abused and traumatized children, the closest being his daughter. He welcomed Richard in against him, curling an arm around the younger man's waist and still refusing to relinquish that gentle hold on Richard's hand.] Nothing like who, hmm?
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His own free hand slides up against Silco's forearm, all the way until his fingers can curl around his shoulder. Richard grits his teeth together and the breath leaving from his is so ragged and violent that it makes his entire upper body tremble as he tries to push down the pain that keeps trying to push through the surface.]
Henry the Sixth. [The barbs of the vine coul tightly around his throat, choking him so that the name comes out as a pained hiss through his teeth.] The mad king who I killed. [He really, really does not want to visit that memory. But he knows the door into that is opened it will not close up again, the darkness spreading and tainting his mind like a disease.
Henry had been mad, yes. But more than that he had been a coward. Always running away and hiding from everything. Either by fleeing from his responsibilities and take on the role of a shepherd, or by escaping into the depths of his mind, blocking the memories and world around him. Richard was not like that. He never had the luxury to run away, no. Instead he always faced his adversities and struggles head-on. There was no place for him to hide away.
Just like here. They had something they needed to deal with, right. Something important to discuss over.
Almost reluctantly, Richard lets go of Silco's hand and steps away from him. He turns his back to the other man as he reaches to grab the soap, beginning to rub the bar on his skin.]
Your daughter, [He begins, voice reaching for distant disability.] What do you wish to do about her demands?
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He didn't know who Henry the Sixth was, but the way that Richard spoke of the man left little room to investigate why the man was mad or why he created such a visceral reaction in Richard. However, there was someone who could potentially answer that question and provide insight to this figure who plagued the younger man so. Why would Richard never wish to be like him? Was it the madness?]
His memory plagues you like a thorn in your mind. [He had someone like that, though that visceral reaction had faded over the years.
Silco didn't fight to keep their physical closeness, releasing Richard and watched the younger man turn away from him. Someone had once told him that secrets would fracture any closeness he might ever attempt; he didn't even recall who after all these years. He'd probably killed them. Yet, the distance felt far larger than it was in reality, and he felt himself pulling back in a subtle protective gesture in return.
He pushed a hand through his wet hair, slicking it back towards his skull as he stepped further under the water to wash quickly. He hummed softly at the question.]
Our options are to keep this between us longer and risk her making stronger attempts to find us together to verify her claims, or we admit and attempt controlling the narrative that way. Both come with risks. [He spoke as a man weighing a tactical decision.] Or... we cease this liaison, and she will leave you alone where I'm concerned.
[Which he knew Jinx wanted potentially more than an admittance from them both. He wasn't certain selfishness would allow him to do that, but if Richard was under considerable pressure and concern about said secrets, he would understand the unwillingness to take risk.]
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He is the man who murdered my father. [His voice comes off like croak, breaking apart in his throat. Richard had never hidden his affection and respect he held towards his father, and he hoped that this revelation would be enough to satisfy Silco's curiosity and make him leave the topic alone.
Richard continues to rub the bar of soap on his body, until he is covered in faint coat of light bubbles. Like always, the sensation felt jarring against his burned arm and damaged nerves. But right now it was actually welcomed feeling as it worked as distraction from the creeping fear and increasing anxiety. Because if Silco's words had any effect on him he did not show it, keeping his back turned to him and expression neutral.
Ultimately he agrees with Silco. There were only so many paths they could take in this situation. However, he could tell that the other man was avoiding the question]
And.. What is that you wish to do?
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So you avenged your father with this man's death. [Like that, he left the subject alone and expected that would be that. He would never know and thus hopefully never understand that sting.
He stepped from the spray of water, pushing his hands over his hair to force the rivets of water to trail over his skin. The shower was normally a safe space, one for quiet contemplation or the kind of quiet touching he allowed himself to enjoy with Richard now and again. The space felt oppressive and confining as it was now, though he knew better than to show any disturbances even as he opened more space for Richard to step under the spray that he had just vacated.]
What I wish doesn't matter; there is only one option where I lose. [False. He lost something in all three scenarios, but it wasn't yet worth considering. He was not yet ready to put his cards on the table because he couldn't get a read on what hand Richard was holding.] Your thoughts on the options?
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Once he's done with the soap Richard steps back in the shower. He gives the older man a quick, questioning look before he begins to rinse himself. Richard can tell that he is dodging the question, mirroring his own avoidance from before. But there was something very defeatist behind his words that settled badly with Richard.]
I will not let a young girl to sway me nor come between me and what I desire. [He says, pushing his hair off his face, the mismatched eyes looking up at Silco.] I know what I want. What about you?
tl;dr
However, Jinx was settling in, finding her own path with friends and ambition of her own that didn't come from a direction of him. She had friends, boyfriend even and now had a shop of her own. She had a revolution against the Council, which was more initiative than she had ever taken on such subjects. That made him nervous, of course. He and Jinx had a... ah, mildly co-dependent relationship.
He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't like someone, she would go out of her way to make life uncomfortable. Sevika tolerated it on his behalf and because he was so effective at pushing the undercity to independence, but he was keenly aware that Richard would not tolerate her antics. As a side-effect, he would be in the middle of any he-said-she-said battles that would inevitably form. It was such undercity political drama, but this wasn't the undercity.
He regarded Richard from where he stood, thoughts hidden behind a carefully schooled expression. They had never particularly defined what they were. It wasn't a problem except when it could be severing it. He told himself and his daughter this was nothing but sex, yet he could only lie to everyone for so long.
The corner of his lip twitched at the mention of desire, and he stepped backwards to lean against the wall. He crossed his arms across his bare chest, but he made certain to not break eye contact. It would seem like a lack of resolve on his part if he did, and he knew better than to show that kind of weakness.]
She's my daughter. I've given up my greatest ambition to keep her safe... [He didn't regret it, not now, not ever. He wasn't allowed to be selfish when he was the leader and a father.] I would burn my own world to the ground for her. Without question.
[He dropped his arms to his sides again, aware they were like a physical barrier between them. He even pushed off of leaning on the wall, unable to articulate the internal struggle of choosing something - someone - for himself over Jinx. He should be perfectly fine being alone; he had been without someone like Richard or... him for many years that it shouldn't be a difficult decision. He knew, ultimately, what Jinx was demanding without saying, and he had felt prickles of resentment. Even now, he was prickly about the idea of walking away even if he would.
He opened his mouth to continue and then closed it again, shaking his head. He took the two steps to close the distance between himself and Richard and lowered his forehead to rest against the younger man's scarred shoulder.] I want... whatever this is. I want you to someday trust me with some of your secrets, and... for me to trust you with some of mine. I cannot be perceived as betraying my daughter; she's what is important to me.
[He moved to wrap his arms around Richard's waist if the younger man would tolerate it. Why couldn't this - whatever it was - just be sex? Why was there something more to complicate everything?]
the delicious inner monologue
He understands it very well that this was not a simple matter to the other man, and that there was many layers and factions for both of them to take into consideration. Yet, the slight hints of hesitation and defeatism in Silco's previous words had managed to rouse sparks of irritation in Richard's mind -- briefly pushing the anxiety to the side. But despite that, he stands still in silence, allowing the other man to take his time to arrive to the answers he seeks.
He knew better than anyone that privacy and secrets came with a heavy price, something that would never quite be fully paid. So, despite the hurt that he knew that rejection would bring him, Richard could not blame if Silco decided to quit and walk away. It was only natural. A demon like him was hardly worth of this conflict. If Silco were to burn this who was he to judge? When he had burned so many bridges himself before.
The expression on Richard's face stays neutral, lips pressed together in rosy line and eyes looking up without reflecting any emotion. However, eventually even the marble breaks and crumbles.
The stony mask on his face slips off and Richard takes a sharp breath as Silco closes the gap between them and reaches out to him. There's a trepidation in his chest, stinging like another thorn right at his heart, sinking deep along the with the words. Swallowing air, he slowly raises his healthy hand to back of Silco's neck. He allows the arms wrap around his waist and almost waits to hear the chorus of laughter as they press closer. But for once.. There is nothing, just silence and them -- laying everything bare it seems.
Richard closed his eyes and exhaled.]
The moment you tell her you risk others knowing as well. [He says softly, fingers snaking up to comb through Silco's wet hair. Richard could understand that there were unbreakable bonds, he had shared one with his own father. However, the more he saw and learned about the relationship between Silco and Jinx the more suspicious he became. The girl was looking more like a thorn on the man's side than anything else. ] There are people here who know of me. I.. can't betray them.
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Yet, all of that melted away from him momentarily when his arms slipped around Richard's waist and the younger man seemed to surrender against him. His grip tightened to bring them together, and he continued to rest his forehead to Richard's burn-scarred shoulder, releasing the tension from his shoulders that he was not rejected in return. Just for a few seconds, he savoured this silently.
Never first choice, but underdog was where he operated best anyway. In the shadows he had always been at his best and his worst. In that, it felt as if he and Richard were reflected the same way.]
I'm aware. [He knew that. Jinx sounded off when frustrated and would likely let Richard's identity slip. Probably Ragna, maybe someone else.] Perhaps also admitting it out loud makes it real as well. Until then, we can just... exist in this space of finding each other but not calling it anything. [If it was real, it might force a sort of commitment or to face any budding emotional attachment to each other. His fingers lightly dug into the small of Richard's back at the audacity of it.] So we are both in a position of being unwilling to betray other people. That puts us in a difficult position.
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However, despite the solace and comfort found in their small bubble, Richard could not help but notice the obvious drift between them -- threatening to pull them apart sooner or later. Neither of them were willing to betray the other people, true. However, while Silco did it out of love towards his daughter, Richard did it for himself. Meeting people like Charles and Mitsuru had affirmed that his ambitions had not been in vain and that he, indeed, did succeed in grabbing that light. But it also meant that he had an imagine to uphold to. He was, after all, King Richard the Third. He could not falter from that.
And then there was the other factor as well, something that Richard found more dooming than anything else. Despite all this intimacy, no matter how deep their shared similarities ran, their hearts were not together. Silco had spoken of secrets and working to unwound them. How funny. Richard could trust the other man with his deepest and most guarded secret that was his body, but hesitated when it came to opening up his mind.]
You called us lovers, before. [Richard recalls to their previous conversation on the network. And then there had been the moment when Silco had claimed Richard as his own in front of the ghosts of his past. ] Is that not enough?
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And outside of this space, Silco had his own ambitions and was working towards cultivating all that he needed for his own goals. It was slow and required a certain finesse that he hadn't entirely needed in the undercity take over. There were others with ambition as well, but they carefully maneuvered around each other. So far, Richard had not made bold moves to gather power aside from training, but he saw the potential with the younger man's speech and charisma when organizing.
Would it run them afoul? He didn't know. While he was constantly on alert to threats to his position, Richard was on his radar for benign reasons. They did, after all, spend time together outside of this space.]
And what does lover mean to you in your world? [He expected everyone's interpretation would be different. Was there a commitment? Was there loyalty?] And for now... I will remain mute to my daughter's prying, but that time will close soon as she escalates. I expect you will do the same.
[Of course, a thought occurred to him as he shifted his head a little so he could kiss Richard's shoulder. Was the man embarrassed by him? He had been called a peasant when they first met and Richard had prattled about royalty and high born things. Perhaps he would be a stain on Richard's reputation as Duke being... well, him. Hmm, the Duke of Gloucester's dirty secret? How scandalous.]
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He had thought that Silco could understand that.
Richard blinks his eyes open at the question, staring at the white wall of the shower as he parces the answer together in his mind. There was no simple answer to it. Lover could mean anything from chosen suitor to illicit affair and between. Richard himself had ever had one lover in his life and even that arrangement had been special and unusual in every possible way. But he had watched his brother and his associates to stumble from bed to another, entertaining a new lover every night. No, this was nothing like that either.
Richard pulls his head back and cranes his neck up, his mismatching eyes peering into almost identical one. He then raises both of his hands to cup Silco's face, drawing the man closer.]
We continue to confide in each other, finding solace and comfort in both body and mind. I chase away your solitude and you do mine. [It might not be the most coherent or specific answer. But it is the only one he has. Richard is not naive enough to expect anything more from this liaison of theirs, unable to believe that the other could hold genuine affection or love towards him outside of their moments of intimacy. Good. That meant that he was free from having to weight his own heart. They were just two beasts locked in a cage, licking each other's wounds.]
And once she does what happens next? Will your protection over me and my secret expire along with your silence?
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He knew the game well, which was likely why he had never taken a lover in Zaun. His ambition took up too much time as well, but if he wanted to remain effective, an adoptive daughter was all that he could afford to keep close. He raised her to be ruthless and chaotic and violent, to take on the world that they lived in, but it did not usually make one a good ruler for long.
Yet, he leaned his face into Richard's hands, letting the simple gesture welcome him. When he had become so weak? When had he lost his edge to not simply take a calculated risk? He knew when, of course, but that weakness had followed him here, the downfall of an empire that had yet to recover. As he closed his blue eye, he listened to Richard's answer and realized the younger man skirted much of the answer in the same way that he did.
One and the same. Monsters in the dark finding brief solace in each other. Monsters carrying the weight of their past, personal weakness restraining their directness. Was he honestly going to let himself be what he despised as a youth?
Slowly his arms unwound from Richard's waist so that he could lift his hands to mimic the younger man's gesture as he took Richard's cheeks in his palms. He tipped the younger man's face up towards his, leaning down so that their lips were a whisper apart from one another.]
Lovers then, Richard. I will be loyal to you, and I expect you will be loyal to me. We do not stray to other's beds. [His heart rate increased slowly but surely.] I will safeguard your secrets, chase away your solitude, comfort you in your own personal torments when you need me to.
[His mismatched eyes bore into Richard's similar ones.] Betray me, and I will take revenge on you even if it takes me the rest of my lifetime. I expect the reverse to be a similar pledge. [He suddenly moved to push Richard back against the wall of the shower, crowding the younger man with his own body.] So don't betray me.
[He pressed his lips to Richard's, lingering there for almost a minute.] Shall I give you a secret to seal 'us'? To prove that I want this.
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With Silco, however? The closeness was the transient light that they both grasped towards in the darkness. And what was the sacrificial lamb that they offered on the altar? Promises of loyalty. Whatever that meant. Honestly, the way the other man laid the conditions in front of him did it all sound like a proposal of sort. After all, there were rarely a lover who would dare to make a request for exclusivity if they did not have official claim for the other person. Richard would have found it funny if it wasn't for the heavy shadow in his heart, keeping him tethered to someone else despite them being worlds apart.
Richard would not be able to give Silco half of his soul, nor heart. Not when they both belonged to someone else. But surely the other man knew that? Despite his conditions. Then again, he doubts that his lover would want them anyway.
He takes steps back and allows Silco to push him against the tile wall, his hands dropping from man's face on his shoulders. Richard could feel the heat radiating from Silco, spreading to his own body -- feeling himself loaning bits and pieces of the fire from the other one. Closing his eyes Richard parts his lips ever so slightly, welcoming the gentle kiss.
Silco is right. If the other one betrays him, one way or another, Richard will hunt him down.
When the kiss breaks Richard blinks his eyes and finally speaks, voice barely loud than whisper]
What is it?
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Perhaps that shame of him being gutterblood would come to the surface. Until then, he had to assume that Richard would tolerate whatever low born status meant, especially in a place where they were no kings or dukes or whatever other silly titles people gave themselves. This place was about what people did or didn't do, what they made of themselves even if it was troublesome.
His hands slid down from Richard's cheeks as their kiss broke, palms stroking either side of the column of the younger man's neck. One hand dropped away to reach out to take one of Richard's in his own. He brought it between them so he could set his lover's hand over the round scar in the middle of his chest. It was a wound that had killed him before he arrived here.
He made a soft hmm noise of contemplation.]
My daughter gave me this scar and the one above. She hadn't meant to, but in the confusion of the moment, I received these wounds.
[He hadn't told anyone that. There were only two conscious people present when he died: Jinx and Vi. It was his secret, the one he carried each day without malice towards his daughter.]
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Fingertips circled around the very familiar scars. Ever since laying his eyes on the injuries on Silco's chest Richard had been very intrigued by them. They were similar yet still so different to scars he'd seen in his own world. But now he could understand their nature a little better, thanks to Mr. Valentine's training. He had seen the damage that bullets could do to different surfaces - and only could only imagine the pain of being on the receiving end.
The revelation does move something in Richard's mind. The neutrality softening in his eyes once again as he lowers his gaze from the man's face to the injuries. He parts his lips slightly as if to say something, but the words die before he can even let out a sound. A flock of questions sprang to his mind, loudest ones being How and Why? Richard was now certain that the girl was indeed a thorn. Something that poisoned the man's mind and will, eating away his ambition and life. Surely, Silco saw this too. So why was she still there and not cut off?
However, the mention of the confusing moment does resonate with him, pulling strings within his core. The sound of shower pouring on them all of the sudden sounded a quite lot like a heavy rain drumming against the thick glass of chapel's windows. Hadn't he done something like this, once upon a time? If Silco could forgive her then maybe,--- No. That thought is best left unfinished.
Richard slides his arm around Silco's frame, pulling the man closer, skin against skin. It is so strange, how all the confusion could just melt away and be replaced by the warm feeling of appreciation. Somehow, he looked up at the man as a father more than before.]
My mother tried to kill me, [He speaks softly, breaking his own silence as he decides to offer something with similar value to the other.] Over and over again. She abandoned me in the forest when I was a child, locked me up in the tower and left me at the mercy of enemy army. She told my secret to lords of royal council in hopes that they would execute me. For that I had to sacrifice my arm. [And yet, despite all the hate between two of them, Richard still could not break free from her. His mother shadow following him even here.] Family is not always perfect.
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He expected questions to pull back the veil further on the situation which lead to his own demise at the hands of his daughter. It was an accident in a way, the chaos of the situation driving rational thought from the scene at the click of a firearm which might mean she was under attack. Jinx had never been his target. She reacted on instinct, and he had paid the price for trying to help her by silencing the source of her mental breakdown.
Yet, there were no questions, and he stepped in as that arm wound around him and pulled him in. He didn't resist and pressed Richard against the tiles to feel the warmth and comfort that he found with his lover's body. His fingers stroked down the younger man's side, only to pause when Richard replied with a secret of his own.
He listened, drinking in the information, and mismatched eyes moved to the burnt scarred flesh. He moved his mouth to kiss the top of the scarred shoulder; it seemed that family had given them both many scars. No wonder they found comfort in one another.] Family is never perfect. [He added another kiss the scarred skin.] It doesn't sound like she wanted to kill you herself; she manufactured circumstances in hopes that they might eliminate you but couldn't bring herself to murder her own child. It sounds like you were her thorn as much as she was yours.
[He lifted his head to rest it against Richard's forehead again, peering into those mismatched eyes. A part of this reminded him of Vander, of the failed attempt to murder him and then the other man letting him live once he escaped.] Perhaps the failed attempts by those we cared about are simply us being their shame. Our living on forces them to face a part of themselves they despise... and yet, I expect a part of us still cares for them....
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A small, almost an inaudible sound leaves from Richard's lips as Silco's words reaches to his ears. The other man did know the whole context. And how hard it would be for his mother to directly strike at him, seeing how high his position was and how much she, just like Richard himself, feared for her mortal soul. But that hadn't stopped her. There had been the case when she had attacked him and aimed for his life. If it hadn't been Buckingham and Catesby, she probably would have succeeded. And yet.. The subtle hint that provoked a daring thought that maybe there could be another reason why his mother hadn't been able to end his life.
His heart swells, the corners of his eyes burning as the tears threatened to force their way out. With his throat tight Richard found himself loss at words. So he just swallows air and tightens his embrace around Silco's frame.
No. He could not dwell on this thought or he'll fall apart.]
But.. You forgave her. [He says weakly, trying to tamper down emotions that were fighting to get a hold of him. While Richard might have poor opinion of Jinx he still respected the bond that she and Silco shared, finding it precious.] Tell.. Tell me more about the night and her confusion.
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The sound of water hitting them and the floor hid the sound that Richard made regardless of how close his ear was. He did feel the slightly shift of air against his shoulder of course, but as there were no words to follow and instead arms tightening around him, he could understand. He wondered if anyone had discussed such things with Richard before. He then wondered if the younger man would be open to, a slow pondering of the antics of those who wished them harm and ruin.
He turned his face so he could kiss Richard's temple in response, staying physically close for the time being.]
My daughter... yes. [He left the words hanging there. Truth be told, it was easy to forgive Jinx for that incident. Vander was another story, a painful one where a part of him had forgiven the other man and another part relished giving back just a fraction of the pain and suffering that he had endured. A story for another time perhaps.]
You want to hear about the night that I died, do you? We'll surely run out of hot water before that tale comes to a close. Come, let's get out of the shower, and I will provide the abridged version. Or would you prefer to stay for it?
[He never denied enjoying stories and speeches, of course. This was very... personal, laying bare one of his many secrets.]
Just to preface, I was tied to a chair and gagged for most of it.
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Richard presses his forehead against Silco's front, burying his face into the column of the older man's neck. There is something very calming in feeling the other man's heartbeat against his own chest and the faint breeze of breath on ear. They smooth the ripples caused by anxiety, quieting down the trepidation of his own rapid heartbeat. The kiss against his temple does cause him lose the tension from his body, relaxing against Silco.
He might not be out of the wooden maze yet, he never was, but the tight embrace that caged him against the cool tile walls did create a small bubble just for them -- keeping Richard away from the nightmares.
He almost didn't want to let go, preferring to stay in this comforting darkness with the other. That is, of course, until Silco's another revelation forced his attention back to the present, drawing his attention to the shower that he had nearly forgotten about. The calmness in him is short-lived as the mention of his initial death is brought up. His chest tightens all of the sudden, making his stomach drop. Hesitantly, Richard lifts chin, unsure eyes looking up at the other man.
Why? Why did this drag out such strong reaction out of him? Richard already knew that Silco had died in his own world. And he had assumed that the bullet wounds were part of that story. So, why did this shook him so?]
Aye. Let us move. [He whispers and dibs his head down to press a gentle kiss on the upper wound.] I shall listen to and carry whatever darkness you have to share.
cw: child abuse
The hand that had shut off the shower moved in to cup the younger man's cheek, stroking his thumb under Richard's eye as he tried to discern the shift. Had the mother tied him up as a boy? Gagged him so he couldn't call for help? He was reminded of the Doctor's words out of context here, 'sometimes death is a mercy'. She might not have killed her son, but he had seen the torment one could inflict on another time and time again, especially children. Tied to a chair in a corner wasn't an uncommon 'time-out'.
He mentally prompted himself to lean down and kiss the top of Richard's head before he pulled them both off of the wall. With his arm still around Richard, he pulled them to the edge of the shower where he could grab a towel and drape it over the younger man's head and shoulders, stepping away enough to hand off the edges to Richard.]
I had saved her from certain death, but the effects left her mind paranoid. She overhead a conversation that lead her to believe that I would betray her when the opposite was true. [If she had simply done her usual minor physical assault to get answers, he could have explained. Instead, her paranoia had driven her to use more force than usual to rendered him unconscious.] As I'm sure you know, politics can be... dramatic. She felt she had to make a choice between who she used to be and who she was with myself and someone she was sisters with. [Is, was, no difference to him.] Her and myself were tied to chairs to prevent escape; I was gagged and there was another who... was a source of conflict between Jinx and her sister.
[His hands lifted and rub the towel over Richard's hair like this was a perfectly normal conversation. Truth be told, he kept his hands busy to distract himself from remembering the details.] I don't know if she intended to let me speak at all at first. She did eventually remove the gag, but the situation became out of control when one escaped bindings and leveled a weapon at Jinx. She defended herself. The sister...
[He trailed off, his jaw working before he shook his head to pull himself out of the memory. Jinx had always responded to him, the steady calm that he brought to her episodes. He knew all the signs of her falling into the voices, the hallucinations, the confused terror that came with them when they were beyond reasoning. Instinctively, he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, then realized his tell and dropped his hand away.]
Family can be the ties that bind or the ones that break everything apart... Come, let's get you out of the shower.
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The forest is not as threatening anymore.
He pulls the blanket further on himself, and turns his eyes back up to Silco. There still traces of distress in his face, brows knitted together into a frown as he listens to the story that the other man weaves to him. Richard bows his head down just a notch as Silco proceeds to dry off his hair, but other than that he stays still like a statue, allowing his companion to take the time and space he needs to finish his words.
There is something very familiar in the scene that Silco describes to him. Of course, he could not really relate to the dramatic confrontation with the hostages, but other than that? Having to choose which direction to go, which voice to listen to. Which future to choose for himself. Both Joan and father leading him to different paths towards to Henry. Choosing George's fate. Buckingham pinning him down on the bed of rose petals, forcing the darkness out of him.
His thoughts led him to the first time when Silco had talked to him about his death. And how he had chosen to spend his last moments before the angel of death had claimed him. Closing his eyes, Richard reaches to take Silco's hand to his own and brings it up to against his cheek, leaning into it and nuzzling gently to it.]
I feel my respect towards you grown ten-fold. [He says, voice soft and gentle -- just like the brief kiss he places on middle of Silco's palm.] I see you found the light and held it in your hands.
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His words trailed off as his hand was moved and placed against his lover's cheek, stretching his fingers so that Richard could nuzzle his palm. He blinked in mild surprise at the words. People respected him because they feared him for the most part. He was used to be questioned or disparaged for how he treated his daughter, the lengths he would go to and the opportunities he would provide for her despite her own behaviour making her difficult at times.] No, I don't think so. My path has always led me to exist and thrive in darkness. My daughter is the one person that perhaps showed some light to me, but we also exist in darkness together.
[His fingers curled to caress the side of Richard's face where the younger man was nuzzling him. He didn't try to remove his hand from that grip, closing his blue eye as he recalled the sharp details of that tea party.]
Her sister has a habit ramming through all situations and making them worse. She tried to push my daughter to remembering painful past memories, to remember being a person who had to be put to rest for Jinx to exist. Those memories and all the monsters that come with them sent Jinx into a confused tormented episode. I tried to stop it, but tied up... I was limited, but previous fortuitous events put a weapon close to me. So I tried to silence that ignorant stupid girl, but... Jinx when she is in such a state is very reactive. [He paused to sigh again as this part was hazy when everything happened so fast. If only he hadn't missed that shot...] In the act of defending Jinx, she simply reacted as I assume she thought she was in danger and turned her weapon on me...
[He shook his head, leaning his head closer to Richard's for a moment. He remembered that pain, the struggle to breathe, the shock of realizing he was going to die with his empire at his feet with no way to salvage. Dying the in darkness where he deserved he supposed.] And then I ended up here....
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The skin of Silco's palm feels nice and rough against Richard's softness of cheek. He slid his own much smaller hand on top of Silco's, holding the touch close as he listened the rest of the story.
The other man was right to assume that there would be bits and pieces that did resonate with Richard. He knew very well what it was like to be lost on that fog. Scrambling through the thick forest with no light to guide his way, grasping on the smallest sliver of hope while also seeing shadows of dangers at every turn. The only way out of that nightmare was ice cold death, destroying part themselves with it. For Richard it had been Henry. For Jinx. Apparently Silco.
He could understand.]
I.. look nothing like my father or brothers. [He says softly after Silco finishes his story.] They were all big and strong. Fair hair, muscles of steel and handsome faces. Like the valiant heroes from the stories of the past. [They were beautiful, beings of like. Unlike him. And Silco. Richard slowly opens his eyes and looks up to Silco again -- the initial distress now mellowed down.] And yet, the bond we shared was stronger than with anyone else, the most special. He was my light. And I see the same between you and your daughter. [A hint of admiration raises to his voice as he says the last sentence. He has no doubt that Silco is the light to Jinx and vice versa. Now how did this revelation affect to how Richard felt about the duo? Despite this new born sympathy towards the girl he still couldn't claim to like her, not with her antics and harassment. And he wasn't convinced that she wasn't yet another thorn on Silco's side.]
You are here now. And still support her. I find that respectable.
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A part of him wondered if Richard had lost control and killed someone close, or if that control had been maintained and only lashed out during war and battles. He hadn't asked and now didn't seem like the appropriate time to do so. They had finally reached a calm and a compromise of secret exchange to build their situation upon.
And perhaps for others and Richard himself, such a declaration would be upsetting and suspicious. For Silco, family was less about blood and more about association and ties that bound. Adoption was very common given the high mortality rate in the Undercity.] And you do not find your own appearance to their level then? Dark haired, lithe and athletic with a moody air about you? I expect you still strike a handsome pose when leading your troops to war against your family's enemies. [He shrugged and curled his fingers against Richard's cheek.] I prefer your look compared to what you described from your other family members.
[He nodded his head at the mention of light, slowly formulating what it meant given the often references to it. He found it clear that the younger man had a special bond with his late father.] Where I am from family is what you make of it, not the blood that runs in your veins. Adults die in the mines or other means, leaving their children to find their own way. People make family together, as I did with Jinx. It's the bond that's important, isn't it?
[He hummed, nodding his head. Whether it was respected or not, he could continue to support his only child for as long as she needed him to. He did it for him too, of course, finding and being possessive over the family unit that he had made with her.]
You support your own son in such a way? Or is he simply the heir for namesake and little more than that?
[He moved to grab the other towel for himself, draping it over one shoulder as until he could claim his hand back. He was not in that much of a hurry to do so, liking the feel of Richard's warm smooth skin under his fingers.]
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[There is a hint of defeatism in that admittance. Richard closed his eyes, pressing his face against the warmth of Silco's palm, enjoying from the simple affection. It wasn't in his intention to make the moment about him. Silco had just revealed a hurtful scar of his past. So Richard had decided to do the same. Both of them again sharing yet another raw and vulnerable moment together. Like during the night they had found each other for the first time.
Richard doesn't try to stop Silco from moving away, allowing the hand slip away from his own. He grabs the edges of the towel and pulls is more securely around himself.]
Once he is old enough, yes. If he'll have me. [The jury was still admittedly out on that matter. Richard barely knew the small child living in his castle and carrying his name and legacy. A heavily necessary part of his plans and ambitions, yet there was no connection between them. Or so Richard wanted to believe. The distant memory of the small body crying in the darkness, looking for comfort from him instead of Anne.] In any case, I believe he will grow up to be a fine man.
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He grabbed the towel and quickly dried off his short hair before wrapping the towel around his waist. Soon enough, he would have to dress and leave to spend time with his daughter, obligations he was yet unwilling to miss.
Until that time though, he stayed close to Richard in the bathroom.] Does he carry aspects of your appearance, or does he take many of his characteristics from his mother? [Silco had his suspicions about Richard's child, but they remained completely unvoiced. For him, it didn't matter. Being a parent was a duty not suited to everyone; he had believed it didn't suit him for a very long time.]
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However, unlike the previous times, the words did not quite reach him. There is no hope blossoming in his chest, no shy warmth spreading to his cheeks or desire rekindling within him. Instead, there was almost a sad hum of acknowledgement from him, fingers curling around the soft edges of the towel. 'Beautiful with or without horns,' or so he says. Richard can't help but wonder what he would say if he truly saw his brothers, wrapped in golden light. Would Silco be mesmerized by their beauty or run away from their blinding light.
He's not entirely sure what he feels about the subject moving to his young son. But he supposed that it was normal for parents to talk about their children. But the boy was basically a stranger to him. Yet another person that he kept at arm's length]
He is like a spitting image of his mother. [He nods, stepping outside of the bathroom now that they're both dry.] He was born during the time of peace, so he has had more freedom than what me and my brothers did in our childhood. And so far it appears that his interests lie in different subjects as I did at his age.
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Don't do that, Richard. [He followed the younger man from the bathroom, reaching out to stroke his fingertips across the back of Richard's shoulders.] You are my lover, and my attraction to you is multifaceted, which does include your body exactly as it is. What other people think or even the idea of physical ideals is to chain you to misery. You are beautiful to me.
[Building Richard's confidence was one of his personal projects. He expected the younger man could thrive with a constant encouraging force that would not walk away or wane. They might even have all the time in the world to do it.]
So you have trouble bonding with him then? I was the same with Jinx when she first came into my life. [Miller was the only other person he could talk to about parenthood. He noticed Richard took very little interest in the responsibilities but perhaps that was his station. He wouldn't know.]
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For a brief second Richard lets his eyes wander around the features of Silco's face. And for that short-lived moment he allows something raw and vulnerable to be reflected in his eyes as he tries to form his thoughts. He's never really been in a situation like this, not even with Buckingham. There was times when his kingmaker would look for answers to his silence, but never like this. So direct and perceptive. Was this what having a lover without any premeditated goals was like?
And just like always when Richard fell short of words, he submitted to silence. Suddenly the topic of parenthood seemed rather appealing.]
..Did you ever fear of her rejecting you?
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As a point of accepting the silence and the vulnerability that came with the silence, he simply hooked his chin over Richard's shoulders and remained a close presence. Nothing more, nothing less. That was as far as that portion of the conversation had to go, but he remained willing if his lover wished to pursue further.
He considered for a long quiet moment the question, and then he simply shrugged his bare shoulders.]
Not back then. She was... a mess. I provided her a home, a family and all the protections she needed. My attachment to her came... later. Yes, I felt an initial draw, but I didn't fully embrace being her parent until months into it. At first, I expected her to run away. We... didn't have much in common, but I provided her the space to simply exist with me if she chose to. Then I provided opportunity to rise above all those who doubted her.
Once I found myself attached? I did fear her rejection. I was a monster and I had to do terrible things to get what I wanted. I did it, and I don't regret any of it. If she rejected me, well... it was never meant to be, was it?
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Closing his eyes, Richard listens to Silco's words and looking for similarities between their experiences. And oh, it appears that there are more common ground than what he had initially believed.
When Anne's pregnancy had become obvious Richard hadn't wasted a second to claim responsibility for it. It had been like a gift from above, saving him from lot of scrutiny and doubts towards his person. He needed an heir and Anne had offered him one on silver platter. Originally, he had planned the boy to be just that. A just another set piece in the theater he called life - no feelings, no attachments. But then again.. Being held like this and listening to Silco's talking about his daughter made him think back to that one silent night, where the small boy had sought comfort and love from him. As a child would from parent.]
You never told me... Why did you take her in to begin with? [Silco wasn't like him. He wasn't tied into the expectations of society, nor did he care for importance of blood. If he truly hadn't wished for a daughter, why not just leave the girl to die?]
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On the topic of parenthood, it wasn't particularly one that was with equal sharing. After all, Silco was very pleased and proud to be a father, which seemed so opposite to how he had been two decades ago. His city welcomed people that took in children, and they didn't dissuade those took advantage of child labour either.
His arms tightened around Richard's waist at the question.]
We shared a similar moment of violent abandonment by our first families. [For once, he didn't take the opportunity to over talk the matter.] Did you hold him when he was born? Your son?
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Instead of addressing those thoughts he focuses on Silco's question. How... How had it gone again?]
Not.. Not right away. [He swallows around his words, thinking back to that moment.] I wasn't there when Anne went in labor. I was only allowed inside when it was over. That is common practice in my world among the nobles. But yes, I did hold him, then. [What kind of father wouldn't hold his newborn heir? It had been all an act. The small human being sleeping in his arms, all while he exchanged knowing looks with each other. They both accepted the child.]
Do you think it is weird? That this body of mine could produce something like that. A normal human being.
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He nodded his head, accepting the explanation without judgement. He could claim to have held exactly zero babies in his life, and he wasn't looking for any opportunity to do so. His daughter had been fully functional when he had first held her there on the wet ground with the rain pouring on them. He had promised to protect her then.]
I doubt that's uncommon where I'm from either. It seems to me that men tend to get in the way for such events. [He credited Richard for holding the newborn at all. He expected they were small and fragile; it was probably some manner of sick joke or miracle he and Richard had survived infancy.
He regarded Richard, considering the question and shrugging.] No, it's not. Besides, being a father is more than impregnating a woman. [If Richard could produce children, then he expected that Richard couldn't carry a child. Just as well, as the younger man leaned more heavily on that male side. Who was he to judge for it?]
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However, it would be a lie to say that his disregard for his lovers past wasn't colored at least somewhat by their class differences. No matter how much he admired and found the other man intriguing Silco still was a peasant compared to him. Hardships and tragedies were part of their lives, struggles engraved on their backs by the hard work and scarcity of the resources. And yet, Richard found his heart aching in solidarity at the thought of the abandonment that the man must've gone through.
Closing his eyes, Richard leaned his head against Silco's cheek - lulling into the embrace. He might be in the forest, but for now he could tell that he wasn't alone.
There's a small smile on his lips at the statement. As much as Richard valued bloodlines and such, he couldn't help but agree with Silco. The man was as true father to his daughter as Richard's had been to him.]
And yet. Impregnating a woman is the true measure of the man. [Something that Richard didn't know if he was capable of. And quite frankly? He was too terrified to find out the true limitations of this cursed body.
Swallowing air he remembered Silco's words from the earlier. My attraction to you is multifaceted. And that he liked him just as he was. But he still couldn't help but ask:] Which one you like, then? A man or woman?
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He had ached for Vander to admit he was right. He had desired the other man to join him in taking it to Piltover together as they had discussed all those years ago. Instead, he had been left empty for both of those, and found a shivering crying child who had suffered a similar rejection that how could he not see himself in her?
His arms tightened as a little embrace from where they were fixed around his lover's waist, and he was staring off across the room as he felt Richard nestled further into his embrace. However, he snorted in amusement at the statement, rolling his eyes. It was true but also ridiculous.]
But should it be? If being a man comes down to a single climax into a woman, we should be rethinking our standards of maleness. [He had never sired a child, and he never had any intention of it, not even when he was young and could consider the value of a family. After all, his own background soured him to the notion; was his father truly a man for paying his mother for sex and happening to hit the mark? So illogical.
He lifted his chin a little from Richard's shoulder so he could turn his gaze on his lover. He supposed that question hadn't come out of the blue entirely, given the current topic of conversation.] I like both. I'm bisexual. [He tipped his temple to rest on Richard's again.] Hence why I say you are the best of both worlds. [A beat.] Do you have a preference between male and female?
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[Something that he had found equally ridiculous at the time, believing himself that the manhood was proved by the strength of his blade. George, as usual, hadn't had much to say - escaping to his drink. Richard's stance on the matter hadn't changed. Man who didn't fight was no man at all.
Feeling the subtle shift in the body behind him, Richard slowly opened his eyes, peeking underneath his long lashes. There was that word again. "Bisexual". Richard had seen it thrown around the network. It had been also used by AI to describe him in that bizarre person catalogue. So, that's what it meant. And well, to be frank, it didn't surprise him the least that Silco was one to embrace sin and sodomy. But he had assumed that there was something specific he was looking for when laying with him.]
No. I.. I have never thought about it. [Which was true. Richard could find women beautiful and men handsome - but there had always been very little attraction on his part. The people he preferred were those who he could be himself with.]
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[And that was just as well too. He was far better at stabbing the rich in the back or taking his own personal wars to them by any means necessary. He remained there still holding Richard, and he found himself wondering what Richard's version of manhood was. The younger man expressed others opinions after all, likely based around society's expectations.]
What do you consider a good measure of a man then?
[He hummed softly, not surprised that Richard hadn't considered a preference. He supposed when one spent that long hiding themselves away and going silent to having an overt opinion at times on top of a seemingly conservative repressed society, determining one's sexual preferences was high on the list of priorities.]
You seem the type to care less about one's sex and more about intellectual or someone that makes you feel comfortable. Am I at all close?
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[That being women and wine, of course. As the owner of such establishment as The Last Drop, which worked as a nest of debauchery, he could see both of his brothers want to keep Silco close to them. But Richard had to admit to himself that he found the thought of Silco meeting his family amusing. The man would no doubt absolutely loath them, but would be smart enough not to show his claws - at least not until he had milked them dry. But then again, despite the fall from grace, neither of his brothers were that naive. It would be interesting to follow the three of them play around each other. Of course it would also put him in a hard place where loyalties go. But he has to admit that he misses such thrill.
There's a small pause as Richard thinks over Silco's question, trying to figure out his answer. There is, of course, a correct answer to be given here. A true man's worth is measured by his words, actions and strength of his soul -- how good and honest he is. But Richard didn't care for such things. It wasn't like he was one.]
...Such matters do not interest a demon like me. Whatever ever the true measure of a man or a woman is has nothing to do with me.
[His free hand moves to grab on Silco's wrist, the long fingers curling around it securely. It's just like the other man had said, such arbitrary standards set by society were nothing but chains. Something that he had once already set out to break when he had decided to grasp for the light.]
I suppose you are right. Are you worried about my attraction to you?
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[There was always something to be tempted by, and if one didn't have the focus, they could lose themselves in that pull to whatever it was that each individual desired. It was generally base wants and needs. Perhaps he could put a King under his thumb eventually, though he doubted that would happen. However, it was foolish to think that one made it that high and didn't have methods to remain in power.
He snorted and pulled Richard back against him harder, turning his face to kiss the younger man's neck. That was the most avoidant answer he had heard in awhile, and yet, it was so totally Richard that he actually found it endearing on some level.]
Your evasion is endearing, as always. Though, I suppose it doesn't matter in the long wrong. Neither one of us measure up to society's standards, and that is better. We are who we are, and it provides us both an edge if people are so bound by foolishness.
[He gave up his wrist to Richard without a fight, though he did gently nudge them forward with his hips so they could move further into the house yet remained close to one another. Soon they would have to dress... or perhaps not.]
Not particularly. You've had plenty of opportunity to walk away to bask in far more physically attractive and younger people than I, and yet here you remain. I must be doing something right to hold your attention.
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The brush of lips against his neck brings goosebumps to his skin, sending shivers briefly down his back. Richard turns his head to side to take a look at the man behind him, giving him a puzzled look. He's not entirely sure what of his behavior is so 'endearing' to the other man.
The implication that there'd be others who Richard would seek out for the intimacy makes him scoff. As if there would even be someone else who'd even want to touch someone like him. No. Only another monster that lives in darkness could truly accept him and his ugliness.]
You are letting your own feelings to cloud your judgement, Silco. [Well. If the man had made one thing clear it was that he was, for reason or another, attracted to Richard. While his lover was not necessarily the most beautiful or handsome out there, but he did not doubt that he couldn't find himself someone else to stand by his side. A real man or a woman.
His fingers caressed the bare skin on Silco's wrist idly, turning to look up at the light shining from the windows, piercing through the forest of his mind.]
It seems like we are being betrayed by the morning.
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He hummed, not certain that Richard's assessment was accurate. The younger man came from a heavily repressed society, or perhaps his was so intermixed with both different species but also people who could be whoever or whatever they wanted.] I don't believe so. You underestimate your attraction to others, I expect.
[He nodded his head, leaving his wrist to Richard's fingers.]
Indeed. No doubt you have matters to attend to.
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Men were weak to the temptation, but what about demons?]
They might be fooled by exterior, yes. But once they see what is inside they will run and despair. [He had seen it happen enough of times. His body was one that not even a prostitute would want to touch.
The morning rays burned away the dark cloth of the night, bringing their bodies into the light. He has matters to attend, doesn't he. Just as Silco does. Time to put an end to the little world of theirs for now.
Letting go of Silco's wrist Richard reaches to touch his lovers face.]
As do you. [Then, despite not wanting it, Richard pulls himself free from the embrace and walks towards the bedroom.] Come. Let us dress. Your daughter must be waiting for your return.
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So much so that he curled his arms around the younger man one last time for a brief squeeze. No one could pull in a monster quite like another, it seemed. Perhaps even their goals might align someday and wouldn't that just be a treat?]
I won't. I see you, and it doesn't frighten or discourage me. [He slowly dropped his arms away again.] Of course, running has never been an activity I enjoy, and despair is something I actively avoid.
[He leaned into the touch to his face, enjoying the fleeting contact. Richard was now the only one he would allow to touch him like this. Would it become a weakness that he would pay for? Only time would tell.
He followed his lover to the bedroom where his folded clothing awaited.]
Of course. She will potentially need to have another go at me this morning. No matter, I will deal with it. [Because it was his responsibility, and he didn't shy from it.] We keep things as they are between us and myself with her. I'll come by tonight once I've concluded my business.
[They both needed that.]
🎀?
One of these days I shall give you a good run. [He says, hint of amusement sneaking into his voice. There's even a small ghost of a smile on his lips when he turns to look at Silco, hand caressing the injured side of his face.
When he finally steps away from the other man, Richard expects to be met with instant coldness now that there is no longer warmth of skin against his own. But surprisingly? He is just fine as he walks towards his room. It seems like that the terrors of the night have retreated for now. When he's at the door Richard turns to look over his shoulder, gaze landing on Silco who was only few steps behind him.
His lover. Maybe finally someone who he could truly place his trust on. Someone who will have his back on a upside-down world like this -- and who'll keep all the ghosts and demons away.
He extends his hand out, reaching out to pull Silco into the bedroom with him.]
🎀
He let Richard go, adjusting the towel around his waist as he pulled his thoughts away from the day stretching out ahead. It would be long, but he had something to look forward to aside from long-term planning of his eventual control of the city. He looked up and spied Richard's hand extended towards him.
Hmm, something to look forward to indeed.
He took that hand and didn't fight entering the bedroom. They had a day to maneuver through.]
a day or so after the reset;
you okay after all that?
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soup, charles.
yes. i am faring well with all the things considered. i hope your expedition did not treat you bad and that you returned back in good health.
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soup.
he reads that four times in a row before its intended meaning dawns on him — at which point he laughs himself hoarse for two whole minutes, wipes tears of mirth out of his eyes, and writes 'that's so not it' and then backspaces it away; then writes 'i think you mean sup' and then backspaces that as well. maybe he can just..... let that be. ]
glad to hear that. my expedition, uh, right. i'm doing just fine, thanks.
[ what he isn't saying: he and peter almost died in ketsora, the void spat him out in a different place than the rest of his team, caitlyn died, scott turned into
his phoenix form, and he returned home with an arrow wound. but he's fine now!! it's all fine — ]
did yours go alright?
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good. your well being and health are both close to my heart.
my own experiences went moderately well, i'd say. although i must admit that after experiencing the scorching heat of desert i miss cold nights of england.
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the same goes to you, too, yeah? when i said i'm glad you're okay, i really meant it.
oh, you went to the desert... ha, yeah. i know what you mean. is it weird i kind of miss all the rain? i was sent to the beach through this portal and even that was... you know, different.
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[it's right to love and wish wellness for your king!!]
not at all. missing one's homeland and its scenery is the most natural feeling that a man can have. i pray that this trial of ours will be over soon and that we can both return where we belong to.
yes. these 'terminals ' turned out to be something that i could not have anticipated even in my wildest dreams. but a beach, then? that sounds [wait what is the word junpei used...] fresh.
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right, yeah. returning where we belong, sure
[ quick how do you casually say "actually i'm fine with staying here for an indeterminate amount of time longer, thanks"? you don't, that's what, so he's breezing past that as well — ]
never seen anything like them, either. ended up with a different team than i started with, but i helped this guy called ekko with the one there.
and [ what the absolute hell is going on here, actually, ] i guess you could say that
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that sounds like an ordeal. i have met this ekko before. he is hot headed but skillful youth. he challenged me into a duel.
[he is so pleased that his test audience is doing so well!]
would you like disclosing what all happened during your journey?
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uh, yeah, if you want to know. we went to ketsora, it's this fortress-type thing, archers and the whole lot
but inside there was just this white void and it transported me to the beach terminal
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i did.
and what of your teammates? did they arrive with you or end up in another locations?
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we got split up
they got sent elsewhere, i was the only one who ended up at the beach
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have you heard of them since? if you need help with contacting them i am here for you, charles.
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so stop thinking like that.
and thanks. i haven't heard of them yet but... only a matter of time, innit
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i am your king, charles.
a weakness in king is a reflection of his people and vice versa. i will not allow my subject to endure the failure of me losing a duel, no matter how trivial it is.
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well
you're not though, are you? not really. i'm from england, and you're the king of england, but not when i was alive. not now when i'm dead, either. your subjects lived hundreds of years ago. and i'm gonna continue to treat you like you're the king because that's who you are in your time and i respect that but i'm not
i'm not your responsibility, yeah? you can just live your life here however you want and not worry how it reflects on me, or what i think, or
any of that, really. bloody hell, all i want is that you're happy, okay? because i care about you, richard, the person. not richard the third. i care about you because of you, not because of your... status or whatever
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i am the king of england, and any citizen of england is my subject no matter the time. unless they are the enemy of the crown and seeking to place a false king on a throne.
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whoa, hey, no need to go that far. i'm definitely not an enemy of the crown, you know that, yeah? so you're right
and i already said you're the king, didn't i? c'mon, your grace. i just didn't want you to worry about me
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it is my duty to worry for you. our situation might be unusual one but i am responsible for you. as long as you don't betray me.
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no, why would he. he might as well just accept that the only reason richard actually seems to care about him is because he sees him as a subject, and that's it. ]
betray you as in support another to become the king of england?
yeah, not gonna happen.
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now. i wish to know more about these comrades of yours that helped you during the mission.
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right, sure. i went to ketsora with gwen, shinjiro and the two peters
the older peter was a really big help but it was actually jinx who saved my life, so
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i shall commit these names into my memory, then. any friend of yours is my friend as well.
did she, now? i must thank her for it.
[WILL HE THO?]
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oh, uh, thanks. there was also the beach team, scott and kotone and mikey and ekko. i stayed with them before i went back to—
i mean, went home
yeah, not the first time she's helped me either. she's pretty aces
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i see. i am glad to hear that. to my knowledge she is a young girl, carrying the weight of a troubled mind. but it sounds like she has been able to direct herself to do good and extend a helping hand.
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right, yeah. she's definitely helped me, so... there's that. but sounds like you've heard of her rather than learned about that from her
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anyway, enough about me, yeah? you doing alright? whitey make it back okay? don't get on junpei's case about it, please, he disappeared during the reset or right before it, and uh, i was sort of hurt so if anything, it was my fault
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[SORRY CHARLES. You just turned his attention more towards you.]
injured? how?
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oh, uh, don't worry about it. the ketsorans just got one lucky shot in, that's all
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[Hm, okay. At least it wasn't more grave than that. Still, he doesn't like the underlying issue here.]
do you not trust me, Charles?
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[ "not more grave than that"..... ha, ha. then again he'd downplayed it for everyone so it's not like richard is special! ]
what? of course i do!
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why'd i come to you about something you can't do anything about? ghost injuries, it's... it's not like we have bandages or anything here that work for me. if i get injured all i need to do is rest and wait for it to heal. it wasn't that i don't trust you, your grace. just, i'd feel right stupid, telling you, hey, i got injured, you can't really do anything about it though
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thanks. i mean it, that means a lot to me. but it's okay, i wasn't alone
and you know that goes both ways, yeah? you're really important to me. guess that's partly why i didn't wanna bother you... but you're right. i'd want to be there for you no matter what too, so i should do the same, shouldn't i? promise i'll try to do better from now on
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[he will not tell Charles a shit...]
i do not take your trust for granted. i will work harder on protecting you for now on.
🎀 ?
and he thinks for a moment to just say, hey, you don't need to protect me at all — but he can already see how that would go badly. so, ]
thanks, your grace.
yass
please keep me updated on your missing friends.
SENTENCING
Weird.]
You are charged with existing.
[There’s something about his expression that makes you think that he might’ve already made up his mind…]
The Council has found you Guilty of this. In order to repent and further your rehabilitation, you have been charged to denounce the importance of status and embrace your own identity. If there is no action taken, there will be consequences.
[You wake up back in your bed. You remember everything – Jerry, the jury box, the words he spoke to you. Maybe you remember the words he spoke more vividly than anything else.
However you decide to proceed… there will be consequences.]
[ooc: you have until November 15th to submit your Sentencing HERE. Even if your character doesn’t proceed with the Sentencing, you must comment on the NPC inbox for your penalty.
Also, there are effects for ignoring this Sentencing. Richard woke up with a crown near his bed, and he finds that with it he draws more and more attention than ever before from NPCs and Chosen alike. The longer he goes without doing this, the more attention he will receive. If you have any questions about Sentencing, please direct it to the Mod Contact post.]
Sentencing & Medical
[Jinx was out of town, and while their normal late night meet-ups were either at one of his businesses or Richard's house, it seemed time to have Richard over to his own house. This was perhaps the second time he had offered such a invitation, and it would always be when his daughter had gone on some mission or another that took her from Aldrip.
He had left the Last Drop in the evening hours once assured that things would run smoothly for the night despite the natives being frigid towards the Chosen. Business remained steady, though the profits hardly mattered as he was supplementing anyway. The hours had shifted it from normal bar to night club, which is how he preferred it in Zaun and how he ran it here.
He returned to his home which was a two-story house where Silco primarily occupied the first floor and his daughter had the upper floor mostly to herself. While he waited for Richard to arrive, he found his way to his alcohol cabinet to pick out a single malt whiskey to savour for the night, adding three ice cubes and settling on the couch to read quietly.
Midway through a page, he became aware of first twinges of a burning sensation of the skin around his mutilated eye. Ah, he should have had Jinx administer his medication before she left, but no matter. He would have to do it while she was gone, and he may as well do so before his lover arrived and have a day of peace from the usual effects as the Shimmer faded. After all, he had no doubt that he and Richard would be spending an increased amount of time together with Jinx on her own little mission; it happened before and he stopped sidestepping the fact that it was bound to happen again.
He did, after all, enjoy Richard's company.
Silco pushed himself from the couch, setting the novel aside before he moved off to this office. By now, he expected Richard to simply walk in rather than knock. It's what he did at his lover's house these days. He was opening one of the drawers of his desk to search for his injection device, finding it and walking back to the open concept living room when the front door opened.]
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The sentencing had came. Initially, Richard hadn't thought much of it. It did seem like the council was truly out of its depths when they had cast their judgement upon him. "Denounce the importance of the status and embrace your identity." Ridiculous indeed.
But then Richard woke up after the restless dream. And as he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was the crown. His father's crown. The circle of light, empty and abandoned. Now, that had offended Richard. The true meaning behind council's sentencing. They wanted him to betray his father and abandon his legacy. Well, needlessly to say he wasn't going to follow such demand.
He had his the crown in his cabinets, trusting his lover to respect his privacy enough not to snoop around the apartment uninvited. And it wasn't like they had such idle time during their meetings and shared moments -- no, their time was reserved for other activities all together.
And perhaps unsurprisingly enough, Richard had stayed quiet about the whole thing. He had not shared news about his summoning to Silco, neither had he revealed him the crown. There were so many secrets and untold stories behind Richard that he didn't even know where to begin. And, admittedly, there was the seed of the doubt in his mind taking root, one to make him question whether the older man would be able to understand the meaning of it all. Silco had scoffed and rolled his eyes at the thoughts of God and his might. He disregarded the light as unimportant and walked his own path in the darkness. While these traits and opinions were something that draw Richard towards him, keeping his intrigue up and alive, he couldn't deny that at times he found it frustrating that his lover kept failing to understand him. If Richard were to reveal the crown to the other man would he just laugh at him?
So, he had stayed quiet. And while they had continued to meet as they regularly did, there was no denying that he was even more absent minded and withdrawn that normally. Often finding himself falling into his own thoughts and memories. Joan was present, of course. Richard could see her in the shadows - but she was, also, uncharacteristically silent. He could tell that she had something on her mind but for a reason or another she couldn't voice out her thoughts. As if she was being silenced by something.
There was the sound of heavy wings hitting the air. Almost as if something was approaching.
But no matter how much Richard tried to avoid it, he couldn't ignore the side effects of his sentencing. The more he tried to ignore the council's orders, the more he could see the people eyes at him - following him and casting their pressure on him with his gazes. As if they knew the secret he was hiding.
So, when he was invited to Silco's apartment, a place that he ever so rarely could visit, he swallowed his pride and doubts. Deciding that it was the time to address the elephant in the room. Richard arrived to his lover's house later in the evening, carrying a wooden crate tugged underneath his arm. He was alone this time, Whitey choosing to spend his night elsewhere. Which suited Richard just fine, he preferred not to have distractions tonight.
Richard walks in without much of a note, just as Silco had presumed, and placed the crate on the table. The long gloved fingers run carefully on the top of it as he looked over the desk.]
What are you looking for?
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He shut the drawer and approached, one hand full of the two pieces of his ophthalmic injection device. He came to stand over the table where the crate was, turning his attention to the metal in his hands and inserting the one piece into the other and interlocking them together with a twist of his hands.]
I routinely need to inject medication to maintain my eye. This device provides that.
[It seemed far less interesting than the crate of course. He gestured at it with his open hand and glanced at his lover. Was that a gift or a burden? He wouldn't presume to know what was in it, and he routinely respected Richard's personal privacy by not opening drawers or doors that he hadn't already seen or been in allowed to keep a few of his items in.
The exception was, of course, the kitchen. He expected the same in his own abode.]
What is in the crate?
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A secret. [He answers, speaking with quiet and careful voice - almost as if he was in presence of something sacred. And well, that thought of line far from the truth. The crown was a proof of godly mandate, a symbol of absolute power and pass to paradise. Something that the poets would sing about and people go war for. Something that Richard had killed and sacrificed for. Something his his father had died for.
But Richard tears his eyes off the crate to look back at Silco, gaze dropping his gaze down at the device at his hand. 'That looks painful>', is the first thought that goes through his mind as he observes the subtle needle hidden inside the glass flask. But he supposed that it makes sense that Silco would need to rely on medicine to treat the injury on his face. Richard, too, applied ointment on the burn on his arm on daily basis. The concoction provided by a fellow Chosen Claude did bring him some relief, mostly with bringing the angry redness of the skin down, ceasing the tight itchiness and pain around the burns. Though, while it definitely had gotten better, the injury would stay and remain. Richard was certain that he'd carry the mark for his entire life, just like Silco would.]
If you desire privacy I can leave until you're done.
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[Silco found his curiosity increasing with the evasive answer. Surely Richard had brought the crate over to reveal said secret to him at some point in the night, but he wouldn't fault the younger man to build up the anticipation and theatrics around whatever was in the crate either. All would be revealed in due time then. It had to be something covetous if Richard spoke in such a careful, quiet tone too.
He ran his fingers over the crate top as he moved passed Richard so that he could seat himself on the couch. He was not ashamed of his eye, its ongoing maintenance, or the history behind it. He turned the injector over so that injection portion faced the floor and gently tapped it with a finger to stir up and resuspend the unique version of Shimmer that he used.]
Hmmm, it won't take long, and it isn't something that I hide from those close to me.
[He lifted it and moved to set the metal cage unit around his eye. He fumbled to get the angle right, tipping his head back more or less in the process to line up the device with his mutilated eye. He paused, pulling it off of his face without pulling the trigger and shaking his head, casting a glance towards his lover.]
...Jinx normally performs this for me, so I'm mildly rusty at self-administration.
[Still, it had to be done, especially with her out of town for a few weeks. He shifted and moved to make another attempt.]
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Standing still on the spot, not wanting to leave the crate unattended, Richard turned around to follow his lover with his eyes. He watched him walking over the couch and setting down on it and begin with the process of administering the medicine. It wasn't something that Richard had ever seen before, and he would not have faulted the man for not wanting to share this moment of vulnerability and weakness with him. After all, it was incredibly personal - in whole different manner than the other moments of intimacy and they had shared so far.
But Silco had never been one to hide, had he? Carrying his mark and deformity proudly and without shame. He knew exactly who he was and all the limitations that came with it. It was another quality of his that Richard admired.
It was only when he sees his lover struggling to find the right angle with the device that Richard decided, hesitantly so, step away from the crate and walk up to the couch. He reached to touch Silco's wrist with the tip of his fingertips.]
Allow me to help.
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He set the device in place, reaching up with his other hand to pull the remains of his lower eyelid down when he spotted Richard moving. He paused in the gesture, his blue eye shifted to focus on his lover for a brief moment, noting the touch to his wrist.
He paused in angling the mechanism. He was not particularly protective of the activity, but it was one his daughter had taken on and performed for him since she was small. Would she consider this a betrayal? He could and would do it himself, but he supposed he looked rather awkward doing so.]
If you would look down the line of the device to make certain the needle will puncture cleanly and directly rather than at an angle. [He moved to set it back into place a little less awkwardly, but he could already tell that the angle was off. Yet, he waited for Richard to potentially direct his hand.]
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Nodding Richard leaned closer and placed his knee on the couch right in between Silco's legs as he climbed up. He was half-straddling the other man while looming over him, the keen eyes observing the way device aligned to against his lover's darkened eye. He carefully nudged the wrist to up, closer to the center.]
There.
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His finger lifted away from the round trigger, resting next to it. He watched Richard with both eyes, though the anticipation of his medication pending and the usual pain associated with it did cause his mutilated eye to flick around.]
Put your thumb in the loop of metal my finger just left and push downwards to discharge the needle.
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There certainly was something very intimate in this moment. Private and personal, somehow managing to push beyond the most of times they've spend together in the sheets. Just like when Richard had entrusted his own body in Silco's hands, Silco was now entrusting this to Richard's.
A brief yet heavy moment passes, Richard's mismatched eyes look into Silco's blue eye -- trying to read whatever unspoken emotion there might be. Then, he turns his focus back on the device. He counts to three in his head, trusting that his lover knows to braze himself, and pulls the trigger.]
cw: ophthalmic treatments
It felt uniquely personal to let Richard into a part of his life that, no matter how brief it was to accomplish, was done quiet and obscured from the regular persona he put forward. He waited, thinking Richard might not feel comfortable enough with the device or his instructions to perform the action necessary.
Then the trigger was pulled and the needle discharged sharply, plunging through his cornea to administer Shimmer into the globe of his eye. He jerked and snarled as pain caused his hands to momentarily tremble and his fingers to flex, drawing his face away from the cool metal as purple overflow slid down his cheek. Shimmer almost instantly healed the injection site, and he lifted a hand to wipe away the excess, a sharp breath of air leaving him as he slowly sank back into the couch.
The aching burn of his mutilated eye receded as his medication took effect and slowly the tightness across his shoulders relaxed.]
...better, thank you.
cw: ophthalmic treatments
The single purple tear catches Richard's attention immediately. He remembers Jinx's unnatural tears and blood back from the hot springs when he had cut her leg. Did everyone from Zaun carry the color of dusk in their veins?
Richard lowers the device and straightens his back, waiting for Silco to gather himself backup again and recover from the treatment. And as the tension fades from the other man's body and he gains some of his usual posture, Richard leans back in. The healthy fingers reach to grab on his lover's chin to tip it back just so that he could place a kiss on the darkened, mottled skin.]
What was that?
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Instead, one hand moved to take the injector from his lover to free up that other hand too. His blue eye closed at the mixed sensation of the kiss on his scarred skin. As usual, the nerve damage prevented him from a full range of sensation to the area, but it was no longer aching for the moment either.]
It's a medicine unique to my city. At small doses, it's completely medicinal and is likely the only reason I still live. [He sighed and turned his head so that he could rest his forehead against Richard's temple.] I have to inject the medication every few days.
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We don't have anything like that in my world. [Or so he thinks? Richard's hardly a medical expert. The only time he's ever even had a doctor to examine his body was from the time before he could remember. The people attending to his mother during his birth had taken a look at him to see that he indeed was fully functioning and well. After that? He had tended to his injuries on his own.]
It appeared to be painful to you. [And to think that his lover had to do this more than once a week. But that was the price one had to pay to stay alive. The pain itself, was a way to survive in the world. He and Silco were the same on that regard.
An idea sprung to his mind. A morbid curiosity of sorts. Richard let go of his lover's face so that he could reach and pull off the glove from his other arm, revealing the now familiar burn.
Then, he withdrew so that he could offer his injured arm to the other man.]
Show me what it's like.
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Hmm, well I doubt many medications are injected directly into the eye in most worlds. [The only way that it worked was because Shimmer healed injuries so quickly. A drop of it could help heal some life threatening injuries. Still, his eye was unique, which was why he played so heavily into it. Every time he injected it, he was reminded of the choice of that day.] Not taking it would be much worse in terms of pain.
[He offered Richard a closer inspection of the dispenser even as his other hand remained on his lover's hip. His thumb caressed the swell of the hip even as his eyes moved to regard the burnt hand as it was revealed.]
You wish to experience it? The dosages is for my eye, so it may not have much effect on your arm. [He had stronger concentrations, of course.] It will sting regardless. You're certain?
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Unless you can turn back time there is nothing you can do to return this arm of mine to its previous form. It was a conscious choice and sacrifice I made that day, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I would be closer to my goal. [Richard states, voice filled with confidence and reassurance. The burn had gotten somewhat better after some time, yes. The skin was no longer glaring angry red and there had been some relief to the pain, yes. But the skin was still beyond saving: mottled with dark and red patches, damaged nerve endings here and there which created jarring and awkward sensations, skin too tight that it pulled back with his each movement.
It was not a pretty sight, no. But Richard refused to regret his choice to mutilate his own body. It had all been for the sake of the crown - which was now sitting in the room with them, not too far away.]
I can take it. I want to know what it is like.
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And now more than ever, he appreciated that Richard did not regret the mutilation. Scars like theirs should be worn with pride, weaponized against their enemies so that no one could feel like they could call into question their motives or actions. He couldn't hide his scar even if he wanted to save for make-up now and again; these days and especially with Richard, he went without.
His hand gave one last squeeze before leaving his lover's hip to take that burn scarred hand and leveling it out flat. He brought the injector up, giving it a few side-to-side motions to resuspend the Shimmer held in the vial stored within and then set the needle guard to the top of Richard's guard.] I know you can. The pain will be sharp, but then it will ebb away and should leave a warmth and perhaps some muscle twitching as it absorbs.
[That's all the description that he would give on the matter, as his index finger found the trigger and pressed it so the needle discharged down into Richard's hand, breaking skin and injecting a small amount of Shimmer. He waited to see what the younger man would do with the sensation. Perhaps it would help a little with any pain or tightness in the skin around that area?]
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He, too, preferred to look forward to the future.
Richard lowers his gaze to look at his hand in Silco's. He nods briefly, as a sign that he understood Silco's words and what he was getting into. And with just that, he heard the the "click" as the trigger was pulled.
The needle pierced through the layers of his skin, plunging into his muscle. The pain was sharp, just like Silco had warned him, and enough to make Richard jolt. It reminded him vaguely from the gratin pain that would come when one hits the nerves on their elbow on the corner of a table or so. Richard grits his teeth together and hisses as the pain rushes through his body, making him spasm little. His hand twitches, and Richard tries to close his hand in a fist but fails as the muscles do not want to listen to him.
But then it was over, just as fast as it had began. The pain fades, leaning a faint itching sensation where the needle had pierced the skin. There is a similar purple tear oozing out of puncture wound. Richard brings his other hand to rub at the spot, feeling near immediate relief.
It hadn't been too bad of an experience. But he can only imagine what it'd be like to have it injected on something as sensitive as an eye.]
Your daughter's blood had the same color as this one. [He states. Which could only mean that she, too, needed to take the same medicine. Except in much larger doses. Maybe more than she should. The wine had driven George mad, so who knows? Maybe abusing this was what made Jinx the way she was.
Well whatever, Richard wasn't in the mood of thinking about here any more than that.]
What is it called?
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Once the injection was complete, he removed the injector and took it apart as his lover inspected the site. He set the two parts next to him on the couch, appreciating having his hands free as he leaned back against the couch and watched Richard. He made a noise of acknowledgement to the statement about his daughter's blood.]
She nearly died before coming here. A higher concentration variant was utilized to save her life. It does have certain long term effects to the body, but it's better than death.
[Of course, the drug had made her mentally unstable, making bad worse for a time. It had cost him his life in return not long after. That was not a story he and Richard needed to explore again.]
Shimmer. Those of my world have few good opinions of it. Like all things, it has its uses.
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Richard hummed thoughtfully, remembering Silco mentioning something about Jinx arriving on death's doorstep before and going for drastic measures to save her life. So, this was it? A part of him thinks that it might have been greater mercy to let the girl just die, if that was the case - he couldn't even begin to fathom what it must be like to live with the shimmer running in her veins, tainting her blood and tears. But then again, he can't fault the man for wanting to save the girl with all he got. From what he had gathered, Jinx was 'the light' to Silco.
Meanwhile Richard's is...]
In any case, it is a fortune that you have it here with you. I can't have you dying on me just yet. [He says, a teasing grin tugging the corners of his lips as he reached to grab his discarded glove.] What did you have in your mind for tonight? It almost seems like you were preparing for quiet night inside. [The novel and whiskey had not gone amiss. ]
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He would do whatever was necessary for his goals. There, here and everywhere. However, that wasn't talk for today, especially now that his eye and the surrounding scarred flesh was feeling as normal as it could again. He didn't want the distraction tonight.]
No? How fortunate for me that you value my life so deeply. [The corner of his lip tugged in a faint smile. Much like Richard, the number of people that wanted him dead were many. It was pleasant to feel wanted, even in jest.] I suppose that depends what's in that surprise crate that you lugged over here. Do I get to know the contents, or is it here to tease me with mystery? Otherwise...
[He reached up to cup the side of Richard's face with a hand, stroking his thumb beneath the younger man's eye.] Jinx will be away for at least two weeks, so you're... welcome to stay here.
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Richard turns his eyes briefly back to the crate when Silco mentions it again, his full attention directed at it. Though, once he feels the warm hand against his face, thumb caressing his skin, he brings his focus back at his lover. The idea of just two of them without any third wheels bothering them did sound nice, bringing warmth to Richard's chest.
Then, closing his eyes Richard leaned in and pressed his lips against Silco's, trapping them both in a brief but hungry kiss.]
It is a gift from our rulers. [He says and withdraws back from the kiss.] I was summoned by the council.
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He would miss his daughter, and while he was against her leaving the city for such pitiful task, he also wasn't going to stop her. This was the path she wanted to walk, and he did wonder if she was escaping the city to avoid some of the responsibilities of INX. That came with all leadership; some came back, some did not. Still, with her away, he did wonder how much time he and Richard would spend together as he had no commitments on his time such as breakfast or dinner.
A little sigh left him as their lips met, and he responded similarly to the kiss as his hand moved to cup the back of Richard's head. That hunger was apparent, and he had no doubt it would turn into something sooner than later.
Yet, his head tilted as Richard withdrew and mentioned their overlords. Interesting. He eyed the crate with even more curiosity, sliding his hand down the back of his lover's neck.] So you were forced to endure their version of sentencing. Mine did not come with a physical object. What did they demand of you?
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Richard's not entirely sure where to begin with the tale. To admit that he had been lying to Silco all of this time? Keeping part of his own legacy hidden? Just how far the dark ambitions of this demon would go. Well.. Guess it's best to start with the basics.]
I was tasked with denouncing the importance of status. And finding value in my own identity. [He then scoffed a light laughter.] Ridiculous, is it not? It seems that the council only aims to make mockery of us.
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He would admit that he didn't even know what crime Richard had been charged with upon arrival. He hadn't revealed his own of course, considering it a mockery of what he was capable of and the acts he had done for the sake of his city and ambitions.
His hands moved to stroke up the small of Richard's back, and his eyes remained fixed on the crate. Now what would be in there that would line up with Richard's task?] No, the Council either targets crimes that are worthless and no issue, or for some, they target where they can hurt someone the most... to make them 'better people', I suppose.
[He looked at Richard again, considering.] So the Council must believe you've been your entire identity of your status then? Do you intend to ignore their requirement?
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Both Silco and Richard had been vulnerable before the other, offering glimpses to their past and hurt -- sacrificing bits and pieces of their secrets. But never the full picture. There wasn't a moment when Richard believed that he might have figured out Silco's deal or trusted his lover to lay himself fully bare before him. And that was fine. There was still a lot that Silco didn't know about him.
Though some of that was about to be corrected tonight.
With a quiet hum, Richard withdraws away from his lover and stands back up, walking to the table to marvel at the crate once again.] My father once set out to correct the wrongs in our land. With him he brought about a great storm, like no one else had seen before. Shaking the rule of our nation. [It's the beginning of a story that Richard had told Silco so many times before. The one about his father's noble and beautiful spirit. However, this time he took it to different direction.]
After his death my eldest brother, Edward, continued the battle. He blew more wind to the storm, brought upon red clouds that would rain blood. I was there with him, of course. Fought the battles with him and retrieved the light from where it had once been stolen. I believed it to be only just. Everyone did so, too. All but one..
[Richard places his hand once again on top of the crate, carefully caressing it, eyes full of reminiscing sadness. That's right. Edward was the rightful king. No one else would dare to think otherwise. No one but one soul, the one who had always looked at Richard's direction.] The man whom you call my 'lover.' He is the only one who had the audacity to dream of something much more.
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He remained where he was as Richard weaved a new version of the tale of his father, and he had assumed that the man was a usurper. If anything, that fact earned a touch of respect from him, especially when a man dragged an entire family, city and country into that mess. It was not far off of his own rise.
His gaze shifted between Richard and the crate in question, and as the tale moved forward, his mind was deciding what was going to be in that box. There had been enough talk of that circle of light to him that he narrowed it down to two possibilities: Richard's father's head or the crown the man had been seeking and Richard had also taken from his own bloodkin.]
How scandalous. Someone thinking third in line for the throne is the best choice and working to provide such an outcome. [That's how succession worked by his measure and the books he had read.] He needed you to accomplish that audacity though; you share blood with the King.
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But just like always. When the topic shifted to his father the smartest thing one could do is tread carefully or remain quiet.]
Heh.. [A soft, melancholic laughter leaves from Richard, his eyes still seeing nothing but the crate on the desk.] But I was not third in the line. I was as far as away from the crown as he was. Yet.. He chose me rather than himself. Even after finding out the truth about me.. He still stood by my side. [Buckingham also could have had a claim for the throne, even if it was not nearly as strong or obvious as Richard's. But surely a cunning man like him would have turned black into white and vice versa if he so truly wanted.
Richard then turned to look up from the crate, eyes landing on the other man still sitting on the couch.] Why do you think he choose to do something like that?
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The only truth he knew was this: life was limited by what a person could do and what they couldn't do. What they couldn't do depended on the strength of will to achieve it; even though with higher superiority could be torn from their perch with enough planning, resources and time.
His gaze moved to the crate again, clear that Richard was intent to keep that secret for himself. As curious as he was, he didn't claim to be invested in someone else's punishment set down by the Council. So far, whatever the consequences, Richard seemed to the weathering them well enough.
He shifted where he sat slightly, crossing one leg over the other.] I wouldn't dare presume the motivations of this man. [He could make educated guesses, of course, but Richard was fiercely protective of those he was in love with. He assumed similar reactions to the father might be upheld with the lover.] Why do you believe he choose you over himself? Surely you have an idea.
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But they were not the same. And in the end Silco held more differences than similarities with Richard's other half. It was something he knew, of course. But during a moment of a weakness he could lose the sign of that.]
I once asked him. He did not answer me. [It had been the first time Richard had ever seen the other man lost at words. But, just like with everything, he had accepted it. Once his own forbidden desires and lust had been forced out in the daylight Richard had simply nodded and followed Buckingham's plan, only once voicing out the questions lingering in his mind: Why.
Richard then turns his softened gaze at Silco and extends his injured hand out to him towards the couch.]
Come and see.
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All he knew was that the crown and the power that came with it was the end goal. How they went about it, the necessary plans and associations were beyond him. All he knew was that if the lover arrived here, he would step back as he expected Richard would prefer the other. Perhaps that might change with time. Who knew.]
They say that no answer is still an answer, but it is up to us to determine what the silence verifies.
[He reached out to take Richard's hand when it was offered, uncrossing his legs so that he could rise to his feet and gaze upon this object which had captured his lover's attention. Now how the Council would use it was another matter entirely. He made a point of slipping his other arm around the small of Richard's back as he came to look at the crate more closely.]
Show me?
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Richard had shared vulnerable moments and secrets to Silco before. Opening his body to the other man, telling him about the forest where his mother left him, Joan and the tale of his father's death. And yet this made him feel the most raw and defenseless around the man, as if he was just about to let his lover in the most guarded secret of the world. And maybe in a way he was. Everything he had done, everything that he was - they all cultivated into this sole object.
There's soft-spoken sorrow in Richard as he finally twisted the small metallic lock on the crate, opening the lid. At first, they can only see a dark blue cloth. Richard reaches to pull it aside and.
There it was. ]
.. My father's crown. [Richard whispers as he looks at the golden headpiece in front of them. The circle of light, the key to paradise. Of which bards and poets would sing about. What his father had died for.
However, the sorrow in him is quickly placed with anger. It twists his expression into a hateful grimace, making him to bare his teeth. No matter how much he looked at it he simply could not see the light. There was no divine within the crown presented to him, only emptiness. The sheer mockery, one that he would liken to blasphemy and crime, made his blood boil. Oh, how he wished to take up his weapons, and slaughter every living creature in this world, tear it all apart until he found the cursed ai.]
The council wants me to set it aside. They want me to refuse my father's legacy! [The words are hissed out between his teeth. Clearly Silco ought to understand why Richard can't comply with the request ]
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Now was not the time for hasty action. No, he turned his head and watched Richard rather than the crate, and he was not disappointed with the complex emotions that paraded across the younger man's expression even as the metal lock was opened and the crate open.
Slowly, he turned his mismatched eyes onto the item that Richard had hedged his future on, the item that the entire family had gone to war over. It was... impressive, he supposed. From a metal work and gemstone perspective, it was glamourous and sparkled even sitting peacefully in the blue velvet. He had never been up close to a crown before, and he held off even daring to lean forward to examine it. The price such an item could fetch in Zaun was significant.]
And now your crown or will be soon, yes?
[He returned his gaze to Richard, watching the emotions twist the younger man's face. Now if only they could direct that rage towards the Council completely, not that it would matter as he wasn't convinced any longer that the Council itself had any manner of physical bodies. Still, he tightened his grip around Richard's back.]
Of course they would. They believe they are doing what is best when they clearly don't understand what such an item means to you and you family. The battles engaged, the blood spilt, the lives lost in obtaining. Have you noticed any ill effects thus far in refusing to renounce it?
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[these people did not want a king nor bow down to one, let alone show him respect. Least of all Silco.
But the tightening of arm against the small of his back is enough to quell some of the anger inside Richard, keeping the storm from toppling the trees and ripping them out of the ground with roots and all. His breathing was still heavy, the air moving in and out through his nostrils as he regarded the question.
Now, Richard had heard of the horrific punishments that some of the chosen endured at the hands of the council if they proved to be resilient with completing their tasks. He, luckily, had not encountered anything harrowing.. except for.]
People stare at me wherever I go. I can feel their eyes on my back and hear them whispering about me, some have even tried to follow me around. [While Richard wouldn't say it was the worst thing out there, it was still distracting - feeding more into his doubts and fears.
Richard run his fingers alongside the edges of the crate, not daring to dip them inside now that the crown was exposed. For a brief second he wondered his next words, trying to decide whether it was worthy of bringing it up.]
Other than that it has been quiet. I haven't seen Joan nor her demonic minions.
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However, this crown and all that it represented was supposed to be a punishment for a crime that the council deemed worthy of their attention. Such items were always given with a purpose, and he had no doubt that something of value would be taken away if Richard didn't bend to the Council's silly whims.
He found himself staring at the crown where it lay in its crate. He noted that Richard didn't reach in and take it out or touch it. He knew it would be unwise to do such a thing himself as well.]
Those behaviours will grow more invasive and constant the longer you don't do as the Council demands. If you won't, I expect you can weather that storm for as long as you need to. [He nearly scoffed at the Council, but he thought for Richard it was a fitting pressure to endure. The younger man was self-conscious after all.] After a time, the effects will abate. People fail the requirements of the Council often.
[He turned his head to regard the younger man a moment, considering.]
Is the quiet unnerving to you?
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To him the Light was same as the power. Once obtained it would grant him the ability to make his each dream come true, erase all of the sadness and give him the keys to paradise. Something that would make him equal to God himself. And the golden, shining object in front of them was a proof of that overwhelming power. As for Silco? Well, if Richard had to take a wild guess it would mean either control or freedom. Or both, considering his past and goal to build an empire. Or something alike that, and Richard thinks he can understand it to some extend, at least.
But whatever the differences in their point of views were, there was one shared fact: only one could stand on the top. Silco would not tolerate a king, and Richard would not tolerate another leader above him. And eventually two monsters would have to face each other, he suspected.
But right now? Despite his blood boiling hot and anger rushing in his veins at the audacity of their captors to drag his father's crown into this world, rob it from its light in mockery, he felt... relief that he could share this with the other man - rather than allowing it to drive him to madness in the solitude.
With his lips still curled down in a disapproving frown, Richard kept staring down at the crown, considering Silco's question. Under normal circumstances he would be nothing but grateful to be rid of Joan and the other demons. But here? He found the idea somewhat conflicting. The witch might be his tormentor, but at the same time he had strangely become to trust her presence, finding her less threatening. Having her nonsensical presence around might as well be the one thing that made sense in this chaotic world.]
She'll be back, I know it. [There was no doubt about it.] The only thing I do not understand is why now? She has never yielded in front of the crown before.
Text; un: eyeofzaun
Jinx appears to have returned to Zaun. I will be working overnight.
[That whole 'keep off of his injured leg thing'? Not today.]
un: plantogetit
are you certain?
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Yes, rather certain. Her network name has disappeared. She never returned from her adventure beyond the city.
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then her penance must be over. that must leave you with conflicted feelings.
which office are you staying at then?
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Likely the tailor or the flower shop.
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your daughter has proven to be more than capable of surviving and looking out for herself. i doubt there is a reason to worry.
or is there something else plaguing your mind?
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You will need to make other sleeping arrangements as I will be working overnight.
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very well. i shall leave, then.
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so he's really fine him not being there? or is this another of those "outs" that silco offers him? should he stay or leave?
a moment passes before richard begins to type again.
"do you really mean--"
"what about your con--"
"don't you want me--"
but he falls back into his usual habit of withdrawing away, although this time it is over text and not spoken words. so he will just leave silco on read for now.]
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He walked around the house looking for Richard, but perhaps his lover was working late at the inn. Yet, he noticed essential items missing in his walk about. He avoided Jinx's areas of the house for the moment.]
Are you coming over and staying tonight?
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yes.
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[there is then a brief pause before he continues]
am i right to assume that rejection was not in your intention last night?
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No. I needed a night to myself, nothing more. Did you think I was rejecting you?
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i would did not know whether you were doing it again or not.
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i do not wish to sleep alone again.
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Come, I will be with you in the dark.
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And as the twilight has began to covet most of the sky, Richard arrives and immediately goes to seek out Silco.]
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By the time Richard arrived, he was leaning his forearms on the back of a dining room chair - the one Jinx sat it most frequently - and was trying to read from his book. He turned his head to spy his lover, looking tired and pale. He shut the book and set it on the table and slowly pushed off the chair he had been leaning on.]
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Without removing his own cloak or the jacket underneath it, Richard walks up to his lover, wraps one arm around Silco's back while other one reaches up to the back of his neck - pulling the other man into his arms.]
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Richard apparently had other plans, and he stood momentarily stiff when his lover pulled him in for a hug. He dropped his forehead down onto Richard's scarred shoulder, his arms remaining at his sides for awhile before he lifted them to set his hands on Richard's hips and slowly allowed some of the exhaustion to slump his shoulders.
He said nothing; he didn't want to talk right now.]
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He allows yet another moment of comfort to pass before he pulled away, just enough him to be able to look at his lover's eyes.]
You have injected the medicine already, correct?
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He had to let go of her with Jinx disappearing. A lifetime of making amends completed and now he was alone with nothing more than people who would be glad to see him dead now that Jinx wasn't here to create interference. No, no, that was the paranoia of the exhaustion playing.
He pulled back when Richard, preparing to do another crow-hop so they could head to the bedroom. It wasn't often that he wanted to lay down, but this was that moment.
Until Richard mentioned his eye medication, and a still stiffness returned to his frame. His fingers twitched and lifted instinctive to stroke the scarring beneath the mutilated eye. The job she insisted on doing was now his again permanently; she wasn't even here to nag him to do it at the same time every day and any hope of that died with her network tag disappearing. Jinx was gone.
He pulled away from Richard and began to limp away.]
I need to sleep.
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Richard hums quietly, and removes his cloak as Silco begins to head towards the bedroom. He frowns lightly at the other man's back as he watches him to stumble forward, but again. He know better than to pester him about it. Richard could understand the matter of the pride, after all
So, without saying a word he followed the man, flipping the light off as he left the dining area.]
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He sat on the edge so that he could remove his trousers, making a point to fold them neatly and set them on a chair nearby. He pinched the bridge of his nose and stretched out his injured leg to briefly look at the bandage. It hadn't slipped and there was no strike-through worthwhile enough to require a change.
He began to pull back the coverings so he could slip into bed though remained sitting up as he waited and watched for Richard.]
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Once he's done checking the apartment (sans the obvious forbidden land that is Jinx's area) Richard sheds the top layer of his clothing on the chair and makes his way to join Silco in the bedroom.
As he enters Richard takes a look at his lover on the be, yes automatically try to gain a glimpse of the injury. Then without saying anything he walks up to the chair where he begins to undress rest of his clothes. Shirt, trousers, binder and so on. All done in routine-like manner, and once he's nude Richard moves to the bed and places a hand on Silco's shoulder -- trying to urge him to lie down so that he could climb up on top of him.]
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His eyes tracked the younger man, though he continued to be silent as he watched Richard strip down. He dropped his cheek onto the top of Richard's hand when he felt it settle on his shoulder, reaching out to turn off the only light in the room to cast them in darkness. It was only then that he shifted so that he could lay down on his back, even as he moved his injured leg well away from where he thought Richard might lay.
He reached up with one hand to pull the covers aside while the other moved to grip Richard's wrist to keep a constant sense of where the younger man was as he was joined in the bed.]
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Richard settles to lie next to Silco's healthy side, placing one arm under his head while keeping to caressing his lover's face. The soft yet attentive eyes kept looking into Silco's own, trying to decipher the feeling behind the tired and drained expression.]
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He didn't protest the hold on his head, instead using it nestle a little closer and closed his blue eye automatically. His mutilated eye remained open and moving, though he had never said how much sight it provided. His thumb continued to hold Richard's wrist, thumb stroking the side of the younger man's arm.]
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Shifting on the mattress, Richard scooted closer to his lover so that he could tuck the man's head under his chin. The slender fingers slid from Silco's cheek to support the back of his head, spreading flat so that his finger tips could reach the edge of the shoulder blades.
Had he ever done this with other person? To be the one to offer comfort like this? Outside of that one silent night when his young son had came crying to him for comfort -- no. It is sufficient to say that he's not entirely sure what to do here, as he knew no songs or words that would soothe a hurt soul and bring calm to troubled mind. It's not like he had ever been received any. So, he continues to stay silent, his own breathing steady and tranquil. Who knows, maybe that would be enough to bring some solace to his lover.]
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He tried to recall the last time he had let anyone comfort him like this. It must have been decades in a different place where the dark was oppressive and the air was thick enough to taste. A lifetime ago with different arms and different circumstances....
His arm curled around Richard's waist and held on tight to the younger man as he once again closed his eye. He listened to the sounds of Richard breathing and his own began to slow as he didn't bother to fight exhaustion. They both needed the sleep, and it was nice to not... feel alone.
With a final deep sigh, he slipped into a dreamless sleep.]
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He stared at the dark wall next to their bed, falling deep into his thoughts. Richard had never held much love towards Jinx, that was not a secret, and it'd be lying to say that he didn't benefit from her absence. He would not give the girl as much credit as to think her as rival or anything sort of it -- she was nothing but another thorn on his path that had just been removed. No more annoying harassing from her part, sudden attacks towards his persona. No more need to hide from her either. Then there was of course the question regarding the future of the Inx. Ah, so much to think and plan.
Richard hears a distant crack coming from the window and he quickly looks up. It was just a cold weather hitting against the glass. No shadows or demons from were trying force themselves in.
It seems like everything is just alright, Richard thinks to himself as he closes his eyes. ]
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Silco slowly came back to awareness, the scent and feel of Richard close to him allowing the illusion of this being a perfectly normal morning as it had been the last month. He sighed, keeping his eye closed and savouring the warmth of the blankets and the lithe body close to his own. He gave himself a few extra minutes like that, feeling tired yet still rested.
He shifted slightly, noting the weight over his feet and determining that to be Whitey. Otherwise, Richard's chin remained on the top of his head and arms held him close. He knew why, but he had promised himself he wouldn't mope more than a day. There was work to be done, and Jinx had an opportunity to return to him.
He kissed Richard's throat lightly before slowly extracting himself from his lover's warm embrace. He rose from the bed carefully, wincing with his injured leg even as he left the bed in order to go and relieve himself, wash his face and push his hair from falling into his face. He looked in the mirror; he still looked pale and tired but nothing like the night before at all.
He returned to the bed, finding his spot now occupied by the albino boar. He left the room to put on some coffee, thankfully electricity still worked in the houses. He had about ten minutes for a brew, so he limped his way back to the bedroom and was about to sit in the chair and rest there when he made the decision that he didn't want to.
He slipped into bed behind Richard in the precarious area on the edge of the mattress. He wrapped his arms around his sleeping lover and buried his face back into the relative safety at the back of Richard's neck. His fingers lightly stroked up and down the younger man's flat but muscular stomach.]
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Though there's some signs of living in him when his rest is disturbed by a new source of heat as Whitey climbs to sleep next to him. Richard murmurs softly in his sleep, his body moving on its own closer to the white fur.
But his sleep is properly broken when there's a familiar press against him, caging his small frame.]
Mmm.. [Richard hums as he stirs, turning his sleepy eyes to look at the man behind him.]
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Yet, when he heard the sound from his lover, he turned his face so only the left side was hidden there, and he made a similar sound of reply to indicate that yes he was still awake. He didn't relent in his hold around Richard's middle either.]
...coffee's on. [Normally he'd only say that to Jinx if he had to wake her; Richard caffeinated was quite the sight.] You're going to the inn today?
[It was easier to delve into business-as-usual than try to untangle the complex nature of his emotional state right now. The tug of being tired continued a certain fuzziness to his brain that would soon to chased away with coffee. Until then, he just wanted to hold on to the only person he seemed to have left.]
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Of course I am. [Richard's voice is quiet and soft, still full of night's sleep. Well, it appears that whatever spell Silco was under last night has now been lifted. The man seemed to be more like himself, even if still a tad more clingier than normally. Richard keeps brushing Silco's cheek with long, affectionate strokes as a small smile forms to his lips] And you?
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He grunted softly in reply; it was good to see Richard settling into business ownership. That kind of responsibility was an excellent motivator for further progress in his mind. Of course, he had not decided what to do with Jinx's cafe yet; that would be a consideration today if he could. To avoid thinking about it too much, his fingers stroked over Richard's belly again.]
I'll make the rounds as long as my leg holds. [He still preferred to walk everywhere, able to slip down side-streets or alleys to avoid detection.] I need to finish scheduling and prepare for month end. [It's when he passed the most money through to businesses that he owned, of course.]
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And while Richard might be one to sleep longer than the other man, he also preferred to get up almost immediately after waking up. He was rarely a type to linger in the bed. After all, he prefers to get to work as fast as he could. But now, with Silco's arms wrapped around him, caressing his tummy, it felt like he was being lured back into the cozy bubble of sleep.
Richard hums again, bringing his hand on top of Silco's wrist -- long fingers spreading out to brush the back of his hand.] I'll join you, then. I have someone who can look after the inn for a day.
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This morning he lingered in the warmth and comfort of Richard's presence regardless of being so close to the edge. He pulled his lover a little more against him so they were pressed together chest all the way down to their knees. His caressing briefly paused when it seemed that he would have company today if that was Richard's intention.]
Join me, hmm? [He wanted to say he wasn't an invalid and could manage just fine on his own. The leg was healing, but he understood even in his current state that wasn't the point being made here.] You don't... have to worry about me. This is not my first experience losing almost everything.
[Except he hadn't lost anywhere close to everything. He'd lost the person he relied on and trusted most. The point stood. It wasn't his first time.]
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He stays quiet as he listens to Silco's words, feeling the rhythm of the other one's heartbeat against his back. The entire time that he had known the other man, he had refused the desire for the light - simply stating that he was content dwelling in the dark depths of his own caves. But despite those words Richard could not bring himself to believe that. After all, the other one was also a mere human with similar needs and desires as anyone else out there. Maybe it was just that the man hadn't quite come to the realization of just what that light was to him. Meanwhile Richard believe he could see it plain as the day.
It was what the man had just lost. It was not everything, no. But instead it had been what was the most important.]
And I doubt it will be the last. [Such was the fate of a man.] But a loss is a loss. I will accompany you.
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Was there a chance she would return? Potentially. Would she remember everything they had accomplished? Maybe. This place was good a jerking everyone's chain, which was why he wanted control of what they could scratch together.
He sighed from his nose, his fingers slowly stopping in their stroking.] Hmmm... no, it will not be the last. There is always something more to lose. [Slowly, he withdrew his arms from around Richard and slowly wedge an elbow under himself so he could begin to sit up.]
It's why we fight. To keep what's left and gain ground.
[He relented from withdrawing in favour of coffee to instead lean down to press a kiss to Richard's cheek.]
Bring a book. You might be bored otherwise.
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But now that the arms withdraw from around him Richard uses the opportunity to turn from his side to lie on his back -- reaching up to touch his lover's face with his fingers, mapping the sharp jawline and shape of his lips. It was good to hear that despite this loss, the other man hadn't lost the focus. Monsters like them would always find a way to stand back up and grow stronger. They would not stop fighting.]
Hah, as if. I do not need to escape to the world of a written word to thaw the boredom.
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Fine but swinging around your sword in my office could be disruptive.
[Not that he had ever seen Richard do that unless it was against some sort of invader and normally he wouldn't be working during such times. His hand dropped from his hair, stroking his fingers up the middle of Richard's chest.]
Or do you plan on looking over my shoulder for the entire day?
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Just what kind of savage do you take me for? [He teases back, lips curling into a grin. Then with that, he slides his hand behind the other man's neck pulling him closer while also craning his own up - sealing them into a brief tender kiss.]
Only as long as I need to.
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He didn't resist the pull to lean down, meeting Richard's lips with his own. His hand moved from between his lover's breasts to rise in order to cup the side of Richard's face.]
Is that so? Just using me for my business knowledge, I see.
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He sighs softly against the other man's lips. He brings them back together for a second kiss, though this time he's in no hurry to break the contact - savoring the taste of Silco.]
And what do you use me for?
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He welcomed the second kiss, if only so he didn't have to speak much more and it bought him time to once again gather himself and push all the emotions down around his daughter now that he was waking up fully. His hand slid to the back of Richard's head, thumb stroking under the younger man's ear.]
Sleeping at a normal hour?
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But at least he did seem to have some control over these substances. There was no fear that he would lose himself into them the say way that his brothers' had. That thought made him feel reassured that his lover would indeed keep his focus, no matter how much hurt there was in his mind. The fight would not be over.
He nibbles on Silco's lower lip before letting him go, breaking their contact.]
You can do that without me. Such high prize for something so mundane. [Richard allowed his fingers to slide along Silco's jawline, stopping right underneath his chin. Of course, he was nowhere naive enough to believe that his lover was not trying to get something out of this arrangements, aside the intimacy and physical comfort. Richard had already showcased that he would be willing to protect the other man, and then there was the matter of the inn. He suspected that the older man was trying to benefit from it one way or another. Well, not that it mattered to Richard. 'The business' hardly interested him as much as the other venues that came with the ownership of the said establishment.
Ah but... he was now getting distracted, wasn't he?]
I believe your black poison is ready.
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I could, but I won't. You keep that part of my schedule rather on track. Few have accomplished that. [There were other aspects of their relationship that he was using Richard for, yes. Companionship, sex, conversation, protection, and just plain interest.
The acquisition of the inn did hold his interest, but honestly, he was waiting for Richard to grow bored of it and then he'd buy it. He could funnel excess funds through it as he did all his others. It was not a matter he discussed, though he would probably have to if he did use Richard's business for that. He considered it a side-benefit of associating with him: more wealth.
He hummed in agreement, turning his head to view the bedroom door before he levered himself up on an elbow and then swung his legs out of bed. He sat there, lingering on the edge of the bed uncharacteristically. Aside from them, there was no noise that he could hear in the house. It was... different.]
Do you want a mug?
[Slowly, he convinced himself to his feet and approached the chair where he could retrieve a clean pair of underwear and slipped into it carefully.]
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When Silco moved and finally pulled away to get up Richard gathered the blanket around himself so that he could cover his body as he sits up. The mention of coffee almost makes him grimace. He had given the drink few tries but he still couldn't get used to it, finding the taste almost offending. But, it was what people did here and he was dedicated on adapting.]
Only if there is cream. Here, [He extends his arm out to him, waiting for Silco to pass him a clothing.] Will you help me dress?
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No. He cut the thought off immediately. It was like scratching an old scar that had never healed right.
He hummed as Richard agreed to a small cup of coffee and cream. He turned at his lover's question, noting the offered hand. He stepped closer and reached out to grip onto Richard's hand and draw his lover from the bed towards himself rather than offering clothing. It was better standing anyway.] If that's what you wish, yes.
[Instead of stepping away to gather Richard's clothing for the day, he stepped in and buried his nose briefly against the younger man's neck, sliding his arms around Richard for a little squeeze of a hug, ignoring how stupid and needy this was probably appearing. It was fine. He was just tired, and it was better than being angry and cranky with Richard.]
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Silco had grown better at showing casual affection and intimacy since they had started to share the bed. Even instigating the contact first at some cases. But this was different to that. No, Richard could feel the silent agony in the embrace. There was something distantly familiar in the gesture, echoing the pain similar to that dramatic day when the world had frozen around him. When he had lost the light.
It is.. startling, to say the least. But not all that unexpected, he supposed. Richard lift his arms and wrapped them around Silco's back, reciprocating the hug and inviting the man to lean on him. He stays quiet, giving the older man to take his own time when to pull away.]
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He pushed his fingers through the longer strands of his hair a few times as he stepped over to gather Richard's clothing in the other hand, returning the three steps it took to be in front of his lover. He offered Richard the undershirt first.]
Would you like to train today?
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Nay. I told you I will be joining you for the day, didn't I? [Richard takes the offered undershirt and pulls it over himself. It has already been quite some time since he had been able to properly partake in his training and other exercise. He had lost the easy access to the nature after moving out of his previous house back to the city. And the work at the inn kept him busy enough that the moments to escape back to his usual training grounds became more and more few and rare.] A regular day clothing will do.
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Next, he offered the binder for Richard to settled into place comfortably. He had always been told it was a personal preference when it came to that comfort, so he didn't offer to assist. He was, after all, well practiced at removing it these days. Still, it seemed that Richard would be his shadow for his activities rather than the other way around.]
As you say. We'll get you dressed, have a mug of coffee and head out then. I'll stop at the flower shop first. [He had plenty to do because drowning in work was always the best choice to ignore any particular grief.] If my leg becomes painful, we'll stay longer at one place today. Maybe the Last Drop.
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Back in England, both Buckingham and Catesby had assisted him with this task, making it somewhat easier for him. With such a simple act the two men managed to bring normalcy to Richard's life, quietly ensuring him that there was nothing wrong with him. It is something he would potentially wish Silco to provide him, too, but he could not bring himself to ask that of his lover.
Once the binder is in the place Richard takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders, returning back to their conversation. ]
I could fetch Blackie, in that case. On his back you would not risk worsening the injury on your leg.
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Here in this place, he had returned to relearning skills that he had otherwise neglected in his position of power. Dressing had never been one of those skills, of course. He took too much pride in his appearance, keeping his clothing and hair in a particular order that he trusted only to himself. It was a sense of control, of course.
He allowed only Richard to undress him, but the opposite was not particularly true.
His fingers moved over the buttons one by one until it was to his neck, but he paused so that he could collect the next article of clothing for Richard to don. He approached, holding out the the next shirt that would go under that leather.]
Oh, you want me to break my neck? [Riding remained a skill he had yet to learn particularly well.] I'd prefer the leg... but, if you're there, it won't be the worst experience.
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You will not break anything if you behave. [Honestly, Silco's reaction to his horse was always so amusing.] But worry not. I'll be your knight in shining armor.
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You need actual shiny armour then. Everything you wear is black. [He preferred his feet on solid ground, that's all. Horses were unpredictable.] You riding with me is the only way I agree. Otherwise, I walk.
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Once his arms are slid into the sleeves he pulls on the fabric and begins to work on the buttons. At least he's not requiring Silco's help with this task? For now that is.]
Black can shine in light just the same. [But he'd need to get a proper armor, that's for sure. Luckily he hasn't really been needing one in this world, but he does miss the sensation of iron wrapping around his body.]
If you are certain then. Do you require me to sit in front of you or will me walking alongside be enough? [How much does Silco need to be coddled?]
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Same as he was in front of Richard. He was an otherwise very private person physically and emotionally. As if to prove he could if he wanted to, he knocked Richard's hands aside so that he could button up the shirt from bottom to neck.] Why would you want it to? Black is to slip to the shadows, avoid detection and it's rather slimming.
[Of course, neither he nor Richard required material to assist them with looking slim. Both of them were lithe twigs of people.] Tell me about this armour of yours through.
[He didn't enjoy riding.] Walking beside should suffice. You don't have a problem with that, do you?
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As one can presume, Richard did not allow this to just anyone. No soul was allowed in his quarters - aside from the two men who he trusted the most. So, that offered Silco such access to his body, in bed and outside of it, was a sign of immense trust on his part. A proof that he felt safe around the man to be his true self. And it pleased him greatly that the other man could somewhat understand why moments like these, of quiet and casual affection, meant much for him.
It made him feel cherished. Just for a moment.]
Hah. You are sounding more and more like a boogie man from children's tale. Is that why you adorn yourself in red? [He snorts an amused laughter. Once the buttons are done he slightly nods towards the trousers left in the chair.] What about it? I wear a plated armor with chainmail. Though mine is normally black and I added sharp talon-like edges to my fingers. [Now who's being dramatic about his appearances.]
Of course not. Blackie needs exercise too.
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The moment passed them quietly, of course. He withdrew once that shirt was buttoned, and he moved to the door of the bedroom again. He would not put on his own trousers until he had tended to his healing leg injury first, unwilling to struggle with the material or risk it being contaminated with exudate from the cleaning process.
He turned to regard his lover and the corner of his lip tugged in a hint of a smirk.] I would rather be the thing that terrifies others than allow anyone to terrify me. And no, red has always been a colour I enjoy wearing. [It was as simple as that. It also hid the blood stains better.] My, my, such drama with armour. I expect you enjoy intimidating your enemies, don't you?
[He gestured for Richard to raise his voice because Silco was going to in search of coffee and still wanted to be part of the conversation.]
Why don't you just let that horse run around in the fields? Isn't that what people do?
[He had no idea. He had never been around beasts of burden before like this.]
video; un: misscoordinator
Ho, ho, ho! Thank you for joining our Secret Santa event~ It's time to find out what ─ or rather who ─ your assignment as Santa's Little Helper for this year is! Drumroll, please...
[ She makes a pause for a dramatic effect, her hand slipping into a Santa hat she's holding and pulling out a small piece of paper with a name on it. ]
It's none other than... Yosuke Hanamura, the hapless romantic!
Remember, you should present your assignee with a gift of your choice until December 25th! Good luck, and remember: your main task is to spread joy, happiness and the spirit of Christmas cheer!
Miss Santa Coordinator, out!
Christmas Gift
Inside the box, there are several contents including a compass, a small make-up kit that was set for Richard's specific skin tone, and some well wrapped frozen small birds that had been plucked and prepared for eventual cooking.
A small neatly written note accompanies the gift: I owe you a dinner party. -S
An hour after the box arrived, a bouquet of a dozen white roses arrives with Richard's name on the card.]
Backdated to Valentine's Day
Inside the box is a dozen long-stemmed white roses.
There is another note inside:
Apparently there is a holiday today if flower sales are any indication.
For you and only you.
-S.
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They had reunited for the remainder of the night and slept between intimate interplay that night. He hadn't intended to sleep in, nor had he intended for his lover to pull him into the bathtub for a soak an hour or two of the morning away, yet here he was. The water was scented with roses and it was warm.
Silco had never been much of a purveyor of baths, finding grooming to a quick and necessary step of the day. Yet, he leaned back on the back of the tub, one arm draped over the side and the other down Richard's body where he could stroke his fingers lazily over warm wet skin. His head was tilted back to rest on the tiled wall and his blue eye was closed as he breathed evenly with the weight of his lover leaned against his chest.
Despite his best intentions, he lingered here. Their relationship had seemed... complicated with Jinx's return, seeing one another less, sleeping over even more rarely, so this felt like an odd return to form. He couldn't convince himself that he had missed this (he had), but he was aware he was refreshed and relaxed after a night and morning with Richard.]
This place is better than that cabin in the woods. Do you prefer here or your flat for living, hmm?
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The water gently lapped against their bodies, coaxing them to relax in its warm hold. I felt soothing against Richard's aching thighs that were still recovering after the night's (and morning's) activities. His knees were poking out to the surface of the milky water. He's idly rubbing against a shy bruise located above his collar bone with his thumb. It is yet another mark left on him by his lover, something that would not be visible to anyone else but to them. Honestly, it is what keeps from falling asleep here. Because, let's be real, falling asleep here in the tub against his lover's chest. It was very tempting to, with the subtle scent of roses filling the air and Silco's heart softly beating to his ear.
Everything seemed just right, for a moment. He could really put all the worries and concerns behind him.]
Mmm.. [He hums quietly, Silco's question bringing him back into the moment. He had to agree with the statement. The cabin had served its purpose for a while, but ultimately? It was better left in the past, along with the memories that it had dragged into surface. The cabin was nothing but another reminder of the man that he used to be, a corpse that hid away all his ambitions and desires.] I suppose this place is better. It reminds me more of my home.
[The inn was bigger than the flat he had claimed for himself. And not to mention that here he had actual staff, which came close to having maids and other servants...]
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Relaxation itself was a luxury he hardly thought he could afford. There was so much to do, doubly so with Jinx having returned and reconciling her differences. Yet, he had never denied that there was peace in water, holding his body, caressing his skin, whispering of memories of old. The difference was the feel of Richard's lithe muscular body lounging against his own.
His fingers slid over moistened skin before rising to card his fingers through the younger man's hair. So perhaps he had missed this, the closeness, the warmth, the post-coital recovery. Richard welcomed him to bed with a voracious appetite for intimacy, and now was their quiet time together, the lazy, unspoken familiarity of each other.
He nodded his head a bit to the answer, shifting in the water and finally lifting one leg up to rest on the side of the tub similarly to his arm that still dangled on the outside. He hummed softly, holding his silence otherwise.]
Your rooms were not shared there, no? [He knew Richard had said that access was restricted from serving staff to hide that body his lover had a complicated relationship with.] Was it bothersome when you and I shared rooms for those two months?
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The black curls had grown from what they used to be since his arrival. It was really starting to get a quite long and soon it would be easy to tie it in a pony tail. Something that Richard had only recently become aware of, forming yet more conflicted feelings about his appearance. But he at the moment he did not pay attention to it, enjoying the simple and casual affection provided by his lover. In fact, the gentle focus and touch his body alleviated some of the bad thoughts that were always present in his mind. It made him feel like he was something precious rather than ugly.]
Of course not. There were only two people who had keys to my chambers. [He does not bother naming the men. He's quite certain that Silco knows just who he is talking about. His kingmaker and valet, the only two people who knew the depths of his secrets and darkness.]
Nay. [....] It was different.
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From hair to stroking the back of Richard neck, to back again in repeated relaxing motions of his fingers. His head turned briefly so that he could plant a small kiss on the younger man's crown, breathing in the scent of products used for bathing. He hummed at the expected response too, rumbling from his throat.
He could guess the two people with access. Richard spoke fondly of only two people who were not family. In his own way, Silco felt a warmth in his chest, that he was special to have earned this right to be with his lover in all living spaces. Triumphant even.]
Hmmm. It was different in a manner you would entertain again should the opportunity arise or different in that you accepted it as a part of our intimate interactions? [Silco had lived with many people over the course of his life due to crowding and necessity as a young man, but he'd only been like this with a single person.]
I ask only because I have been considering requesting a new house, one with clearer separation of abodes as it is clear my daughter will be investing time with her male companion. Perhaps I would build it with you and I sharing space in mind. [Smooth like a criminal.]
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'What brought this on-', a hazy question begins to form in his mind but then Silco drops the real bomb. The words feel like a sudden splash of icy water right into his face, waking him up to the reality from the arm bubble of safety. There is a subtle change to his body language, though Silco will no doubt feel it. He shifts on the tub, tension creeping up to his shoulders as his chest tightens. He is all of the sudden very aware of the beating of his heart within its cage.
Richard straightens his back and draws his knees closer to his chest, unknowingly withdrawing back to himself. He swallows air, and turns his head to look past his shoulder at the older man, perplexity apparent in his eyes.]
..Did your daughter put you up to this?
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He was keenly aware of every change in Richard, feeling how his lover curled, withdrew from him. The tension under his fingers was noted as well, and he continued to stroke the back of his lover's neck regardless. If anything, he splayed his hand to stroke his palm down between Richard's shoulder blades to urge his lover to relax.
He met Richard's eyes, making a point not to shift any of his body language. He still lounged as he had been in the tub, though he rolled his eyes at the question.]
Even if she did, this suggestion is purely for us made by me. Those two months we cohabitated were... [He trailed off, struggling to pick the right word. He hadn't cohabited with anyone like that in a long time.] ...let's say, satisfying. I would entertain us trying it again if you were amenable to the idea.
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So, it wasn't that Richard did not want to return to the state of coexisting and being together. But he could not help but think the conversation he and Jinx shared not too long ago. She had tried to pressure him to make his move, trying to grasp for something that wasn't there. 'Take care of him when I'm out of his life.']
She is leaving you, isn't she? [His light was slipping past his fingers, leaving him behind in the darkness. Richard knew just how desperate that could make someone.] Are you looking to fill that void?
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And he had to ask himself the lengths that he might engage in to convince the younger man to entertain the idea. That his daughter was already a wedge in this conversation was unexpected, leading him to believe that there might have been some kind of encounter between the two that he wasn't aware of. Not situational physically as he would know about that, so when? Where? What circumstances if it did occur?
It was his turn to grow tense at the tide of the conversation shifted, confirming to him the existence of some interaction. His fingers paused on the back of Richard's neck and his lounging leg returned to the water to press into the corner of the tub they were sharing. In a moments notice, he could sit up which was a precursor to standing.]
She has found company she wishes to invest time and energy into that I don't approve of. [And short of locking the boy in a cellar and tortured, Silco couldn't prevent this from happening. The usual manner of killing someone wasn't an option.] Is that what you consider yourself to me? Filler?
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And just like that, the nice and relaxed atmosphere between is gone. The bubble of comfort is popped and everything is raw again as they are standing around the hushed topic. Jinx had contacted him, yes, she had made it very clear that whatever he was doing was wrong and that he ought to just conform to her idea of romance. That he should be prepared to repair whatever damage she was going to leave behind.
But it was not just because of her words that had tainted the mood. Silco, too, kept mentioning her going away and using it as a reason for them to enter their previous domestic state. But then again, hadn't that been the same last time, too?]
What am I, then?
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He sighed audibly as he calmed himself again, aware it wouldn't help this situation which had shifted from peaceful relaxation to a tense wasteland where neither one of them knew exactly where the landmines happen to be. They would navigate them still; he and Richard generally had a knack for doing so with one another and he doubted this situation was much different.
It simply required careful verbal footwork to reach the same end which should have been less complicated. He cared so deeply for his daughter, but sometimes, he just needed her to stop butting into his personal life. The boy was supposed to be distracting her, and yet, hadn't his own reaction to her pulling away potentially precipitated this?]
You are my lover. As you have been for many months. My opinion on that matter has not changed.
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They were lovers, yes. But to what end? Their relationship had a long time ago moved past just from physical intimacy. They enjoyed from each other's company outside of sex and there was the undeniable emotional connection. All of that was true. But still the question of what and why still stood.
Richard withdrew away from his lover so that their bodies were no longer touching. He turned to take another look at the older man.]
That's right. [His voice is distant despite the words of agreement. And with that he pushed himself up from the tub, swung his leg over the edge and stepped out of the water, and began to head towards the wall where the towels were hanged on a hook.]
What kind of house you are thinking of?
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Even as Richard shifted and moved in the bathtub, vacating the water and leaving him in it alone, it felt similar to a sting. Yet, there was peace in water, a clarity provided to him that would set a path for the rest of his life. Richard wasn't his enemy though, and this wasn't the polluted waters of the Pilt.
Yet, watching Richard move to the towels, he contemplated his next move. He could rise and follow, or he could allow his lover to simply leave him here. He slowly shifted his leg back out of the water to dangle as it had been before, and he made a point of lifting his arm to fold it behind his head.]
What would you like to call us, Richard? What word in your world describes our association? [There was a few seconds of silence as he watched Richard's movements.] Come back to the water. We were previously have a relaxing time.
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Like a pathetic resigned excuse of man. But he was not that person anymore. No, he had sworn to himself that he'd move past the husk of his former self.
So, Richard turned around to look at his lover who was still lounging in the bath, seemingly relaxed despite the tense and oppressive air in the room. Something that irritated him a little.]
Your daughter left and you called me. She returns and you rush to her side. But now that she is going to leave you again, you're calling me back. [So no, the word 'lover' wasn't the issue but the definition of it. It was both very inclusive yet exclusive at the same time.] I am not mad nor do I expect to be first in your thoughts. [Not anymore, at least. He might want it but he knows better than to expect a happy ending. His current standing ought to be more than enough for a demon like him.]
Tell me, Silco. What is a lover to you if not a 'filler '? A distraction to fill the idle and hateful days of peace?
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There was a doubt that Richard would return to the bath as requested. The urge to rise and stand grew, but he stamped it down for the moment.
He raised his eyebrow at the timeline of his activities laid out before him without an ounce of remorse for it. Jinx was his priority. He had made that clear on numerous occasions. Yet, he could see that whatever Jinx had conversed with Richard was weighing on the situation even if the examples were more about his actions than hers.]
And have I not also come to your side when you have called me? Have I neglected you when you have told me of your needs? [He liked to believe that he hadn't, that he made himself available and present when Richard needed him. Yet, a small portion caught his attention.] Do you wish to be first on my thoughts?
[He hummed at the question, and Richard was one of two people in Aldrip who he would allow to speak to him in such a manner. He lifted a foot from the bath water and watched the water drip from his heel.]
You are not filler. A lover is someone who I feel comfortable sharing my secrets, my bed, and my time with. [He gritted his teeth.] You are an excellent distraction, and you are about the only one to have me putting down my work consistently upon your arrival. Or I will put down my work to come spend time with.
[Look, that was a massive statement coming from someone who was a workaholic by nature.]
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Aye, you have. [He does not rebuke nor deny Silco's words. The man had been there for him numerous times by now, standing by his side while also blowing the life back to the embers suffocating under the weight of the charred logs. The man had filled him with confidence and helped him to gain sight of the vision he once had. All acts that he was grateful for and what made him want to bind himself to the other man more.
Richard missed the time with Silco. The idea of them returning back to that was pleasant one. Something that he wanted. Except if it wasn't for...
Richard walked back to the tub, but instead of stepping back in the water he set himself to sit on the porcelain edge.]
A distraction, then. [He repeats, accepting the word. Honestly, to him it was just the same as the 'filler' as it formed similar meaning. No matter how 'pleasant' he and his company might be he will always serve as nothing but a distraction from something, a temptation. Like Jane and the other lovers had been to Edward. Fine, it's something Richard can work with. ]
Your daughter contacted me not too long ago. She told me she was planning on leaving you and asked me to 'take care of you.' [Something that he had denied to do. Oh, there is no doubt that Richard would stand by Silco's side when the man would spiral back into depths of despair once again. But he wouldn't do it for her.]
If you truly want us to share the closeness and the living spaces again then don't request it because of her. She disapproves of your lover and you disapprove hers and so does the wheel spin around and around. But that's a game I am not going to take part to, for I am not a pawn for either of you. If I am not a filler then don't make this about her.
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He nodded his head slowly at the affirmation. There were very few people that he would drop everything for and Richard happened to be one of them. What they had, what they shared and especially Richard himself had become important to him, something worth personal attention especially when the need arose. And in turn, he found his own needs to be met.
He watched the younger man return, his hand lifting from the bath water to stroke his fingers lightly down Richard's back.] My distraction. [He would have gone on, waxed monologues of how Richard wasn't such a simple singular word, but the younger man took that moment to drop a bombshell on him.
He froze in the bath, his fingers jerking where they stroked Richard's skin, and it took every ounce of self-control to not rise from the bath. Tension stiffened his entire body and his eyes were fixed and staring as unpleasant thoughts rolled through him, fear and panic clawing its way up his throat.
Jinx leaving him? No, no, no that couldn't be right. He had made it clear she was to stay with him, that he needed her always. Certainly she had made overtures before, all of them he squished as soon as he became aware of them. She couldn't leave. She was his daughter, his last perfection of Zaun, the chaotic entity that was both headache and hazard.
Suddenly he sat forward in the bath, drawing his knees up so he could rest one elbow on one and stroke the left side of his face with his fingertips. His breathing was harsh to his own ears as thoughts and plans and strategies whirled through his mind, some discarded, some falling into place.] How long ago did she contact you? Was it in person or the network? If network, was it verbally or through text?
[The nuance could be missing if it was text. No, Jinx had developed the similar habit from him about monologues and no doubt there was some theatrics in whatever she said to Richard. He could fix this. He would fix this. He simply needed more information.
In his suddenly shifted attention, he made a noise to acknowledge Richard's comment, ignoring the whole disapproval part. That didn't matter, not now in such a critical time.] Please, I'm far too affectionate with you for any of this to be a game for me. You and I are basically life partners. [He waved off the insinuation of filler with a hand.]
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But he was not about to allow that to them, not with his last comment about the exchange he and Jinx had. Then again, he figured that it would do best to rip the band-aid off now. They might hold both fondness and devotion to some degree towards one another, and they were both committed to seeing this affair through. But it didn't mean that there weren't thorns scattered around their path - and Richard needed to see whether the other man's daughter was one of them.
So, he watched as the obvious panic grows to Silco's posture, pushing through the surface. He allowed the man to have his moment and fight for control over again before answering to his inquiries.] It was over the network. [Which was perhaps pretty obvious.
And he was just about to push the topic and challenge Silco further, but then it was his lover's turn to drop a bomb on him. ´You and I are basically life partners.´ The words, that seemingly slipped ever so carefully from the older man's tongue as if they were given, felt like a punch straight to his gut. All of the sudden he felt almost lightheaded as the color briefly left his body before shooting right up to his face. His cheeks turned dark crimson, framing his nearly bewildered eyes.
Richard opens his mouth to say something, but the words fails him -- staying stuck to his throat and choking him. Swallowing air, he takes a deep breath and sits up from the edge of tub. However, instead of leaving he lifts his right leg over the porcelain and steps back into the water. But this time he remains facing Silco as he settles back on the tub, placing cheek against the older man's collar bone.]
So, you would ask me even if it wasn't for her?
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However, Jinx leaving remained an unacceptable prospect, and if he wasn't still in the bath water, he would immediately contact his daughter to confirm the facts. He also needed to find and read that network interaction to gauge her seriousness, assuming that it was public all the way through. It would give him a good sense of how the conversation had gone.
Silco shifted in the bath when Richard straightened and turned, finally returning to the water. He was forced out of his rapid thoughts, experiencing a flare of annoyance that his lover had decided to pull him from his reverie when he was so close to formulating an idea of his timeline. He nearly snapped.
Instead, he said nothing as his eyes found the flushed redness of Richard's face dramatic. Slowly, he lowered his legs again as his lover slid into the bath water with him again, and he parted the circle of his arms to admit Richard to settle back against him. One hand lifted a card through the younger man's lengthened hair, momentarily confused by the softened reaction when things had appeared to be heating up between them.
He shifted, forcing himself to relax even if his energy remained high, causing tension across his frame. However, he did lift one leg to curl it over Richard's.]
Of course. If the prospect of us being seen as closer than 'roommates' or however the Chosen may see the move bothers you, we can remain separate. The choice remains yours. It was an offer, nothing more, nothing less.
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It seem that both of them had just dropped a revelation on one another. Richard with his mention of Jinx, Silco with his insight about the state of their relationship. Both done with carelessness and calculation.
His chest continued to ache. A dull and old injury was being poked and prodded, as if to see how much could the fragile fabric take before tearing open again. His heart was beating loudly like it was trying to escape from its confided cage. But Richard kept his panic at arms length, not giving it a chance to rise to the surface. Instead he focused on the arms around his body, the fingers in his hair and the breath tickling his ear. The small things that kept him grounded in the moment and preventing his mind wandering off to the woods.
Strangely enough, Richard hadn't even taken others into consideration here. In fact, he had nearly forgotten that others existed until Silco had brought the outside world up. And yes, it did feel like the familiar stone pressing his mind once again. But perhaps for the first time it didn't seem like unmoveable obstacle. Just another thorn that he could cut down -- together with Silco.
He stays there, allowing them to indulge in the moment before bursting their bubble once again. Despite the stormy and rough relationship that he shared with Jinx, Richard had always tried not to get between the father and daughter. To him such bond was precious and he did want to disturb it. But there was an elephant in the room that they needed to address if he truly was to consider Silco's offer.]
Then you must choose. [He says after a brief pause of silence. His voice is soft and quiet, words spoken against Silco's chest.] If you wish us to be partners.. And for me to give the half of me to you so that we might stand as equals, as monsters together. Then you must choose which one do you wish to see sit on the seat of the power next to you. Me or Jinx.
[There had not been any reason for them to play pretend that they were not both after power and control. They had already admitted as much to each other in the past. They could make the play for it together -- just like he and Buckingham once had -- but that was only possible if there were two of them. As long as Jinx was involved they were doomed to clash and burn each other to the ground.]
I would share this world with you. But not with her.
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Of course, Richard had challenged him now and again when it came to Jinx, about his life goals of if she refused his legacy, of if she decided a path well away from the circle of his schemes. He'd considered it, but not entirely seriously. After all, Jinx would see reason, so his way was the best for her.
His blue eye slowly opened again when he heard the start of the ultimatum from his lover, and he stifled the urge to rebut immediately that there was no choice. He had given up the current dream of Zaun for his daughter; did Richard dream in any world that he would give up Jinx for anyone? Surely not.
Partners? It was jarring, and yet his mind returned to the topics before Richard re-entered the bath water. Basically life partners... He winced slightly as he recalled his own distracted dismissive words; that had been strategically careless of him. He may not have flagrantly said such words under different circumstances, but they were now out in the world and resulting in an ultimatum.
More than that, it was resulting in a commitment that neither he nor Richard had discussed in any measure of seriousness before. The idea of them being equals was a silent war on his behalf, assured on certain occasion despite the disparity in their apparently station. Silco had always been sensitive, overreacting to the insinuation he was less than, and even now, it was a sore subject he nursed each day.
He shifted under Richard's weight, seemingly trapped in the bathtub now, forced to endure the whiplash of one paramount panic with his daughter to considering the ultimatum laid at his feet by Richard.
It plucked at a truth he knew but wasn't normally willing to entertain. Jinx had no interest in power; her play for it with the Inx club was paltry and uncoordinated and she'd seemingly lost interest in it as he knew she would. Meanwhile Richard was slowly and meticulously gathered power as he would have, more aligned with his own schemes. It had been clear that their ambition would come into conflict eventually, and he had been planning for that inevitability.
Yet, uniting them? It would avoid conflict, but it may require the kind of trust that had landed him with half of his face rotting off and nearly losing his eye. He twitched with the memory, fingers tightening in Richard's hair as he breathed from his nose harshly.]
Are you asking me to choose you over my daughter? [His tone was cold and cutting, yet he didn't try to move under Richard. It meant he was thinking about it.] You will share this place with her regardless of our association, Richard. She is a part of it, and she will also always be a strong part of my life.
[He leaned his head back against the tiled wall.] Unless this ultimatum is... just us. We knitting our lives together into formality and shared ambition.
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His ultimatum might have been a bit too much, Richard realizes. Especially since it was followed after the words about Jinx's plans for departure, which alone should be enough to send the man spiraling in the despair. But at the same time, Richard did not care to give his lover any more reprieve. Silco had indeed put the words out there, making them hang upon their neck. And he wasn't about to let them go ignored, no. He'd force the other man to claim them.
When he noticed Silco leaning his head back against the tile wall Richard moved. He pushed himself up to sit on his knees and reached out to grab his lovers face from both sides, forcing an eye contact.] She will always be your daughter. I am not taking that away from you. ['Like a daughter like a father ', Richard thinks to himself. Both assuming that it is either all or nothing and that he is trying to destroy what they share. While it was in fact Silco's role and performance as a father that had first earned him respect in Richard's mind. He would not disturb that bond.]
But it is like you've said. Your daughter has changed and she is no longer parading around as a future leader, no. It seems like her passions lead her elsewhere. However, it might not be too late. You can still gamble and chase that dream you had with her of your empire of dust. She might not be out of your reach just yet. I will be mere a 'distraction' in your life. If that's what your heart desires.
Or you will place your wager on me. I'll be your partner who will carry the weight of our shared ambition together with you. Someone to share your victories and troubles with, a sword and an ally. An equal, not a distraction.
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No, you will not. [He would sooner burn everything that they had and were to the ground than actually lose Jinx. In an ultimatum like that, Richard would lose. There was no question in his mind, and even if Jinx eventually did abandon him, he would fight tooth and nail to retrieve her. It would be his entire focus.
But that wasn't the ultimatum. He remained tense as he listened to the proposition, fingers tightened under the water into a fist. She was flitted off for that boy, but also, she was flighty and skittish. Since she had returned, she seemed on the verge of slipping away as if he or anyone else wouldn't notice her absence. Inx had fallen by the wayside, and regardless of her touting herself as the Queen of Zaun, Silco knew the truth. It was a moniker, a title with no weight, least of all here. Jinx's actions could change the course of the entire city, yet it was wild and free, random and chaotic, action and reaction. It took a strong hand to build within it, to use the stirred up mess to the advantage of them and their people.
He stared at Richard, lifting his hand from the the younger man's hip so that he could use a finger to push back the ruff of bangs and tuck it behind Richard's ear. Then his hand dropped so he could wrap his fingers around that burn scarred arm, sliding his hand down the mottled smooth and roughened flesh. Their heterochromia and scars had attracted them to one another, but it had been something deeper too. Richard was ambitious, intelligent and strategic. Richard was a threat in a similar way that Silco was a threat.
They could achieve considerable together. They could elevate and harm each other in equal terrible depths. It frightened him because he had been there before, the rebirth at the Pilt, and he considered himself smarter and on the look out for such dangers again. The isolation had kept him separate for many years, trusting a select few. Yet Richard had slipped in beyond his guard, settled in a spot that had been vacant for all those years, and as much as he would like to deny it, he knew.
Life partners. Ambitious partners. This was not where he had intended this lounging in the bath to travel. Yet here they were on the cusp of an ultimatum, and he was not so easily lulled into the sweetness of Richard's words. No, he looked at it shrewdly while trying - and failing - to not examine his own fear and anger and desires and care for the younger man.
His jaw worked under Richard's hands, eyes studying the younger man even as his fingers stroked their way back up his lover's scarred arm.]
You understand what you are offering, don't you? That we will be united in all things: our lives, our emotions, our ambition. This is a path we cannot and will not deviate from each other unless it is in betrayal and death. You will be mine, and I will be yours. Is that what you want?
[Why was his heart beating so quickly? Why was a flush rising in his face? Why was there a lump in his throat?]
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The resistance was, of course, to be expected. Silco had never reacted well when he subjugated like this, no matter how casual or subtle the gesture was. So, Richard watched as the struggle of emotions to dance on his lovers features as he schooled down his initial aggression. His own expression adamant and intense as the water drops dripped down along his dark hair on his lover's face.
He could feel the other man's pulse quicken under his fingers as Silco picks apart the ultimatum, dissecting the meaning behind the words that Richard had laid between them.] A pact that is more severe and deeper than one of a marriage. Bond built upon our shared goal and unholy desires.
[It was not the first time that Richard had entered into such relationship. Except, this time it was him initiating it and drawing it out of his partner. Not the other way around.] Do you desire this, Silco? Do you desire me. If so, speak your mind. There will not be second time.
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However, this was deeply personal. The intensity of Richard's gaze boring into his own made it clear that this was a precipice that both of them were standing upon. The slow drip, drip of water on his face punctuated the severity of the pact that Richard had placed in front of him where the final decision seemed to rest with him. Richard was all-in, was he?
Silco had never believed much in marriage. It happened but most in Zaun couldn't afford it. Pacts and monogamy were the closest that partners entered into. He stared at his lover's mismatched eyes, studying Richard's expression.] And you can't enter into marriage as you are already engaged in one from back home. [No wonder they had to create something new, something potent.
He took his time mulling it over, considering the implications, the impacts. Their relationship would not be exposed, oh no, if anything, it would remain with Jinx and her alone. Depending on the moves that they made, they could be accused of business associates. He considered how Jinx and Richard would respond to each other and even what he wanted.
His fingers nudged back more of Richard's hair so it stopped dripping on his face. He tucked it lightly behind his partner's ear, still pondering. He would not be rushed into this decision.] I desire you. I would kill for you, and you are one of the few that I offer such an action personally. [Jinx being the only other.] I will accept your ultimatum, Richard, and all the risks and profits that will come from it.
[Uncharacteristically, he surged forward to lock their lips together hard, his fingers sliding into Richard's hair to grip the locks and hold his lover's head still. He bit the other man's lip hard enough to bleed, sealing their pact in blood.]
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But then there had been Buckingham. The first person to ever see who he truly was and accepted him. The younger man had held him and showed him a whole new world, binding their bodies and fates together. What he and his kingmaker shared... It did resemble love. Or so Richard thought. But whether it was real or just a foolish dream? He did not know.
And now he was here with Silco. The man who had, just like his young kingmaker, seen who he was with that brilliant eye of his and recognized him as kin of sorts. And now they were about to begin a new chapter together, sharing their bodies and ambitions together. Now, was it love that surrounded them and made them to take this step together? Again, Richard didn't know for sure. Back in church he had came to conclusion that Silco would never harbor such sentiment towards him. But now? He wasn't so sure. Not that it mattered.
'I desire you.' Those words pierced through his skin, forcing through his ribcage and muscles, spreading to his veins and mixing into his blood and filling him up with warmth. Even if it's not love -- it sure did remind him of one.
He does not hold back when Silco craned his neck up to capture his lips with his own. Instead he leans forward down to meet his lover -- no, his partner in the kiss. He sighed deeply when he felt the teeth sink in the soft flesh of his lower lip and draws blood. Richard parted his lips further and forced his tongue past those jagged teeth, diving deep inside Silco's mouth to make sure that the older man would be able to taste his blood.
Then, after a quick moment, he pulls away just enough that he could utter the words against the man's lips.]
In that dream I saw you on the bridge holding a flame in your hands. I've seen your hot white anger to pierce another man like the blade itself. I have seen your sorrow and pain. [The smooth fingers run along the blackened, scarred skin.] And I have seen your care and affection. I accept and want all the parts of you, Silco. Even those that you do not know or see for yourself.
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Yet, he had. History had repeated itself on its tilted axis. It always did.
The multiples of betrayals layered over each other, building up to the man that he was now. From his parents to the orphanage to the gang to the mines to Vander to the Chem-Barons to Jinx. He had needed all of them to rise and fall in equal parts, and now he was back on the same path that he swore off of. The desire for connection and understanding was not one that he could kick as easily as he liked to believe, and the previous deep lonely anger had choked him until he spat it up and now... Richard slotted into that deep black empty hole and filled it.
And Silco allowed it. He shouldn't. He knew how this would end, but he was willing to overlook the inevitability.
The kiss was like a promise between them, a pact for the path that they had chosen to walk together. He tasted blood, let it coat his lips, let Richard's tongue beyond the threshold of his lips and a soft sighing moan escaped him in response. It was done; the deal was struck, the commitment made. Betrayal was down the line for them, but perhaps they could stave it off for a bit of time.
He kissed Richard's lips between sentences, just a peck, just a small interruption that did not disrupt the monologue. He appreciated the stroking of his ego, feeling seen and heard and accepted even momentarily.]
I see you, Richard. I will elevate you, support you and let no one bring you down. [The corner of his lip twitched upwards.] Your enemies will be my enemies. Your goals will be mine. This place will be our kingdom.
May 6 - text; un: altius
Good morning, your grace. I wanted to ask if I could trouble you for proper horse riding lessons.
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i see our nightly ride left an impression on you.
very well. when do you wish to start?
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[Shenanigans keep happening and he'd rather not try to make excuses for getting somewhere too quickly with his portals...]
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i am in middle of my morning practice. but i can spare you some time later in the afternoon, if you so wish.
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> action
[And he'll be there at the appropriate time, taking an idle look around the stables. Thankfully he has enough outdoorsy clothes now to wear something appropriate, between the garden and his other outings. It's almost weird to not wear a suit and tie all the time...]
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Now, while they have had only limited amount of encounters that does not mean that Richard had not seen Altius around. The man was a regular at the inn, after all. So, he does pay attention to his unusual attire. Well, the man had stroke to him as sensible one. If he had showed up in his suit Richard would have just laughed.]
It's good to see you, Altius. I see that you are serious about this.
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Thank you for saying so, I suppose. I certainly don't intend to waste your time when I asked specifically for your help.
[That said, he is patient, so he won't be rushing Richard, either. He'll follow the other man's lead, however he wants to go about things. Speaking of...]
Have you taught many others how to ride?
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But oh well, he had earlier promised to teach and share his skills with whoever was interested in learning so here they were.] However, riding is considered a basic skill and knowledge in my country. Being able to ride on your own is one rite of passage for a child to step into adulthood.
Have you had any contact with horses since our last meeting?
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It's not so different, in my time. It's just that we learn to drive a self-propelled carriage, rather than an animal.
[The more things change, the more they stay the same.]
But no, nothing direct. [Passing by as he visited the farm for business once or twice; hardly relevant.] I admit the decision to learn only came to me yesterday.
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Richard reaches up to grab Blackie's reins and gently tugs him out of the stall.]
This is my horse, Blackie. I have trained him myself and he has been my loyal companion in many battles. At first I will show you how to prepare the saddle and have you repeat it with Goldie, [He nods his head towards the other horse in the stalls with a dark gold coloring.] After that I'll show you basics of riding.
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They use the power of heat to move, more or less. You can't avoid them where I'm from, so it's been... an adjustment, to not see them here.
[He regards the familiar steed and then the other horse with a level expression, gauging as best he can; he's certainly no expert on horse body language. Goldie, he says... perhaps Altius will find a steed of his own choosing that he can name with a slightly different... scheme. But that's not important, for the moment.]
Alright.
[To the point, just as Altius likes it. He very rarely turns down a conversation, but he does prefer to have practical matters sorted first. Richard will find him as attentive and precise a student as he could reasonably expect, despite his utter lack of expertise with horses in general. This is something he intends to seriously follow through with, after all.]
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Hm. [He hums as an answer. He supposes that it does makes sense that this world would expose difficulties to all of them. Although, he'd have to admit that he hadn't considered that someone else would feel similar disarray and displacement as he did. At least he hadn't seen anyone else to react the same way as he had to the false light emitting from the orbs in the ceiling or the beeping tablets.
Well, either way. Richard moves to grab the saddle placed on the stable gate. Blackie, who is properly socialised and trained steed, does not seem to mind playing the part in this show-and-tell presentation and only lowers his neck to sniff the grass. Richard hauls the saddle on the horse's back and begins with his explanation, going through each part of the equipment step by step. It really helps that this is not Altius' first encounter with horses and he can trust that the other man can keep up with his explanation.
He finally, after he has grouched down to fasten the strap under Blackie's belly he's finished.] There. Your turn.
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The mechanics of saddling a horse, meanwhile, take much less effort to understand in comparison. He regards Goldie with a momentary, even look to gauge its attitude, setting aside the idea that it's more likely than not a piece of code without any real feelings, and picks up the saddle Richard has set out for him.
He follows Richard's methods, and though he obviously lacks the experience to get it all right the first go around or finish quickly, he's still aware enough to pay attention and fix his own mistakes before he moves on for the most part, paying attention to any of the horse's movements as he does.
Once he's done:]
Fitted well enough, do you think?