[His hand remained on the device, and while Richard nudged his grip to the proper position, he waited patiently. He was reminded back when Jinx had first taken an interest, and he had shown her the process. Now he was showing his lover in Jinx's absence, and he recognized it as a show of trust.
His finger lifted away from the round trigger, resting next to it. He watched Richard with both eyes, though the anticipation of his medication pending and the usual pain associated with it did cause his mutilated eye to flick around.]
Put your thumb in the loop of metal my finger just left and push downwards to discharge the needle.
[Richard's eyes flickered down at the small device between them. Without saying anything, he followed the instructions and brought his thumb to rest against the small trigger. Despite his calm, marble-like expression, Richard could hear his heart beat faster in its cage. All of the sudden it is like their shared world is much smaller than a moment ago, containing only two of them and the couch.
There certainly was something very intimate in this moment. Private and personal, somehow managing to push beyond the most of times they've spend together in the sheets. Just like when Richard had entrusted his own body in Silco's hands, Silco was now entrusting this to Richard's.
A brief yet heavy moment passes, Richard's mismatched eyes look into Silco's blue eye -- trying to read whatever unspoken emotion there might be. Then, he turns his focus back on the device. He counts to three in his head, trusting that his lover knows to braze himself, and pulls the trigger.]
[While this was a rather routine aspect of his adult life, Silco did experience mild trepidation at allowing another person to assist him this closely. He didn't expect to be judged for what he needed to do, but injecting wrong could have detrimental effects for him as the Doctor had explained some time ago.
It felt uniquely personal to let Richard into a part of his life that, no matter how brief it was to accomplish, was done quiet and obscured from the regular persona he put forward. He waited, thinking Richard might not feel comfortable enough with the device or his instructions to perform the action necessary.
Then the trigger was pulled and the needle discharged sharply, plunging through his cornea to administer Shimmer into the globe of his eye. He jerked and snarled as pain caused his hands to momentarily tremble and his fingers to flex, drawing his face away from the cool metal as purple overflow slid down his cheek. Shimmer almost instantly healed the injection site, and he lifted a hand to wipe away the excess, a sharp breath of air leaving him as he slowly sank back into the couch.
The aching burn of his mutilated eye receded as his medication took effect and slowly the tightness across his shoulders relaxed.]
[It truly is over fast, lasting less than a blink of an eye. The needle shoots forward and prickles the sensitive organ. Richard watches Silco to pull back and twitch in discomfort, expression twisting and contracting in pain as the unknown medication set in. And it's not like he can really judge his lover for such strong and vivid reaction. The procedure, as much as Richard could see, looked very painful and gnarly. He'd assume that a weaker man would not be able to go through it - let alone as a routine.
The single purple tear catches Richard's attention immediately. He remembers Jinx's unnatural tears and blood back from the hot springs when he had cut her leg. Did everyone from Zaun carry the color of dusk in their veins?
Richard lowers the device and straightens his back, waiting for Silco to gather himself backup again and recover from the treatment. And as the tension fades from the other man's body and he gains some of his usual posture, Richard leans back in. The healthy fingers reach to grab on his lover's chin to tip it back just so that he could place a kiss on the darkened, mottled skin.]
[Slowly, his hands extended to catch Richard by the hips and pulled his lover into his lap; it was better than feeling like he was under scrutiny. He imagined the treatment was likely a shock for those that had never seen it before, but it was necessary for his survival. He tipped his head up the younger man leaned in, not resisting the grip to his chin.
Instead, one hand moved to take the injector from his lover to free up that other hand too. His blue eye closed at the mixed sensation of the kiss on his scarred skin. As usual, the nerve damage prevented him from a full range of sensation to the area, but it was no longer aching for the moment either.]
It's a medicine unique to my city. At small doses, it's completely medicinal and is likely the only reason I still live. [He sighed and turned his head so that he could rest his forehead against Richard's temple.] I have to inject the medication every few days.
[Richard allows himself to be pulled forward, sliding to sit with both knees pressed against the couch cushion as he straddles Silco's lap. He presses two more kisses right underneath the mutilated eye before leaning his head back just so that he could take another look at the device - now in his lover's hand. Such strange medical tool.]
We don't have anything like that in my world. [Or so he thinks? Richard's hardly a medical expert. The only time he's ever even had a doctor to examine his body was from the time before he could remember. The people attending to his mother during his birth had taken a look at him to see that he indeed was fully functioning and well. After that? He had tended to his injuries on his own.]
It appeared to be painful to you. [And to think that his lover had to do this more than once a week. But that was the price one had to pay to stay alive. The pain itself, was a way to survive in the world. He and Silco were the same on that regard.
An idea sprung to his mind. A morbid curiosity of sorts. Richard let go of his lover's face so that he could reach and pull off the glove from his other arm, revealing the now familiar burn.
Then, he withdrew so that he could offer his injured arm to the other man.]
[Even in Aldrip, he kept Shimmer mostly hidden. Only Jinx from their world understood the necessity of it, the power and possibility that Shimmer brought to their city. He couldn't spread it around much here unless it invite unwanted attention to his enterprises operating in the city.]
Hmm, well I doubt many medications are injected directly into the eye in most worlds. [The only way that it worked was because Shimmer healed injuries so quickly. A drop of it could help heal some life threatening injuries. Still, his eye was unique, which was why he played so heavily into it. Every time he injected it, he was reminded of the choice of that day.] Not taking it would be much worse in terms of pain.
[He offered Richard a closer inspection of the dispenser even as his other hand remained on his lover's hip. His thumb caressed the swell of the hip even as his eyes moved to regard the burnt hand as it was revealed.]
You wish to experience it? The dosages is for my eye, so it may not have much effect on your arm. [He had stronger concentrations, of course.] It will sting regardless. You're certain?
[There was an air of possessiveness to the hand resting against his hip that Richard enjoyed. It was a such a simple gesture of affection, one that silently kept him glued still with little to no effort. Almost as if to claim Richard as his own. It did not only bring him comfort, but also made him feel wanted.]
Unless you can turn back time there is nothing you can do to return this arm of mine to its previous form. It was a conscious choice and sacrifice I made that day, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I would be closer to my goal. [Richard states, voice filled with confidence and reassurance. The burn had gotten somewhat better after some time, yes. The skin was no longer glaring angry red and there had been some relief to the pain, yes. But the skin was still beyond saving: mottled with dark and red patches, damaged nerve endings here and there which created jarring and awkward sensations, skin too tight that it pulled back with his each movement.
It was not a pretty sight, no. But Richard refused to regret his choice to mutilate his own body. It had all been for the sake of the crown - which was now sitting in the room with them, not too far away.]
Unfortunately, turning back time is not an ability that I have. I prefer looking to the future anyway. [Yet, he and Richard were definitely defined by their pasts like everyone else, but how they developed was something he could share certain similarities with his lover.
And now more than ever, he appreciated that Richard did not regret the mutilation. Scars like theirs should be worn with pride, weaponized against their enemies so that no one could feel like they could call into question their motives or actions. He couldn't hide his scar even if he wanted to save for make-up now and again; these days and especially with Richard, he went without.
His hand gave one last squeeze before leaving his lover's hip to take that burn scarred hand and leveling it out flat. He brought the injector up, giving it a few side-to-side motions to resuspend the Shimmer held in the vial stored within and then set the needle guard to the top of Richard's guard.] I know you can. The pain will be sharp, but then it will ebb away and should leave a warmth and perhaps some muscle twitching as it absorbs.
[That's all the description that he would give on the matter, as his index finger found the trigger and pressed it so the needle discharged down into Richard's hand, breaking skin and injecting a small amount of Shimmer. He waited to see what the younger man would do with the sensation. Perhaps it would help a little with any pain or tightness in the skin around that area?]
[The statement brings a small approving smile on Richard's lips. It's true that they carry the weight of their past with them. Their victories, sorrows born from their previous choices carved into their bodies in form of scars. Are there some things that Richard wishes he could change if he had the ability to turn back time? Absolutely. But he had also come to accept the past - it was what made him who he was today. No need to dwelve in the what-ifs and what-could've-beens.
He, too, preferred to look forward to the future.
Richard lowers his gaze to look at his hand in Silco's. He nods briefly, as a sign that he understood Silco's words and what he was getting into. And with just that, he heard the the "click" as the trigger was pulled.
The needle pierced through the layers of his skin, plunging into his muscle. The pain was sharp, just like Silco had warned him, and enough to make Richard jolt. It reminded him vaguely from the gratin pain that would come when one hits the nerves on their elbow on the corner of a table or so. Richard grits his teeth together and hisses as the pain rushes through his body, making him spasm little. His hand twitches, and Richard tries to close his hand in a fist but fails as the muscles do not want to listen to him.
But then it was over, just as fast as it had began. The pain fades, leaning a faint itching sensation where the needle had pierced the skin. There is a similar purple tear oozing out of puncture wound. Richard brings his other hand to rub at the spot, feeling near immediate relief.
It hadn't been too bad of an experience. But he can only imagine what it'd be like to have it injected on something as sensitive as an eye.]
Your daughter's blood had the same color as this one. [He states. Which could only mean that she, too, needed to take the same medicine. Except in much larger doses. Maybe more than she should. The wine had driven George mad, so who knows? Maybe abusing this was what made Jinx the way she was.
Well whatever, Richard wasn't in the mood of thinking about here any more than that.]
[It was a rather minor dose compared to what some took in the Undercity. He doubted that it would have much effect, and he was confident whatever effect - if any - occurred that it would be positive for his lover. After the initial sting and burn, he found that Shimmer was a boon for him, though he knew better than to overuse it.
Once the injection was complete, he removed the injector and took it apart as his lover inspected the site. He set the two parts next to him on the couch, appreciating having his hands free as he leaned back against the couch and watched Richard. He made a noise of acknowledgement to the statement about his daughter's blood.]
She nearly died before coming here. A higher concentration variant was utilized to save her life. It does have certain long term effects to the body, but it's better than death.
[Of course, the drug had made her mentally unstable, making bad worse for a time. It had cost him his life in return not long after. That was not a story he and Richard needed to explore again.]
Shimmer. Those of my world have few good opinions of it. Like all things, it has its uses.
['Shimmer,' he repeats the word in his mind. The name indeed does something more out of witch's cook book than a proper medicine. It would also explain the strange purple coloring. But it's fine. Richard's learned not to turn his nose up at the concoctions from other worlds and such.
Richard hummed thoughtfully, remembering Silco mentioning something about Jinx arriving on death's doorstep before and going for drastic measures to save her life. So, this was it? A part of him thinks that it might have been greater mercy to let the girl just die, if that was the case - he couldn't even begin to fathom what it must be like to live with the shimmer running in her veins, tainting her blood and tears. But then again, he can't fault the man for wanting to save the girl with all he got. From what he had gathered, Jinx was 'the light' to Silco.
Meanwhile Richard's is...]
In any case, it is a fortune that you have it here with you. I can't have you dying on me just yet. [He says, a teasing grin tugging the corners of his lips as he reached to grab his discarded glove.] What did you have in your mind for tonight? It almost seems like you were preparing for quiet night inside. [The novel and whiskey had not gone amiss. ]
[Silco had already spent long nights thinking on what he would change in his life should he have an opportunity to redo it. When it came to Jinx, there was nothing that he would change, including saving her life with Shimmer. He would give her the world, and now she must navigate it on her own regardless of this fake life that they lived here. For him, this was all that was real, and he valued each day that he continued.
He would do whatever was necessary for his goals. There, here and everywhere. However, that wasn't talk for today, especially now that his eye and the surrounding scarred flesh was feeling as normal as it could again. He didn't want the distraction tonight.]
No? How fortunate for me that you value my life so deeply. [The corner of his lip tugged in a faint smile. Much like Richard, the number of people that wanted him dead were many. It was pleasant to feel wanted, even in jest.] I suppose that depends what's in that surprise crate that you lugged over here. Do I get to know the contents, or is it here to tease me with mystery? Otherwise...
[He reached up to cup the side of Richard's face with a hand, stroking his thumb beneath the younger man's eye.] Jinx will be away for at least two weeks, so you're... welcome to stay here.
No. I do think there are still many paths or us to travel together. It would be shame to put stop on our endeavors prematurely. [His words applied both to sex and their interactions outside of it. Silco had quickly became the person Richard trusted the most, one that he could confine in - an ally. So, while he might be jesting here there is a seed of truth in his statement. Losing Silco now would be against his best interests.
Richard turns his eyes briefly back to the crate when Silco mentions it again, his full attention directed at it. Though, once he feels the warm hand against his face, thumb caressing his skin, he brings his focus back at his lover. The idea of just two of them without any third wheels bothering them did sound nice, bringing warmth to Richard's chest.
Then, closing his eyes Richard leaned in and pressed his lips against Silco's, trapping them both in a brief but hungry kiss.]
It is a gift from our rulers. [He says and withdraws back from the kiss.] I was summoned by the council.
Are there? [Silco considered for a moment then turned his mismatched eyes back on Richard.] I suppose that you're correct in that. We have yet to explore all of this place. [He knew what Richard meant, and he fully intended to do what he could to have a strangle hold on this place as much as fake power allowed. Perhaps Richard would like to climb those heights with him.
He would miss his daughter, and while he was against her leaving the city for such pitiful task, he also wasn't going to stop her. This was the path she wanted to walk, and he did wonder if she was escaping the city to avoid some of the responsibilities of INX. That came with all leadership; some came back, some did not. Still, with her away, he did wonder how much time he and Richard would spend together as he had no commitments on his time such as breakfast or dinner.
A little sigh left him as their lips met, and he responded similarly to the kiss as his hand moved to cup the back of Richard's head. That hunger was apparent, and he had no doubt it would turn into something sooner than later.
Yet, his head tilted as Richard withdrew and mentioned their overlords. Interesting. He eyed the crate with even more curiosity, sliding his hand down the back of his lover's neck.] So you were forced to endure their version of sentencing. Mine did not come with a physical object. What did they demand of you?
[Honestly? Richard would perhaps act on that hunger and let it claim what it desired. To indulge in the taste and smell of the other man, feel the hands grasp and pull him as they joined their bodies once gain. He would instigate all of that here if it wasn't for the crate sitting on Silco's table, occupying Richard's every thought. Alone, but not forgotten.
Richard's not entirely sure where to begin with the tale. To admit that he had been lying to Silco all of this time? Keeping part of his own legacy hidden? Just how far the dark ambitions of this demon would go. Well.. Guess it's best to start with the basics.]
I was tasked with denouncing the importance of status. And finding value in my own identity. [He then scoffed a light laughter.] Ridiculous, is it not? It seems that the council only aims to make mockery of us.
[Silco expected that they were both hiding large portions of their lives from each other; they may have been in this dalliance together for six months but that didn't mean they would reveal everything. They were quiet and private men, but the Council and this place had a way of forcing those secrets towards the surface.
He would admit that he didn't even know what crime Richard had been charged with upon arrival. He hadn't revealed his own of course, considering it a mockery of what he was capable of and the acts he had done for the sake of his city and ambitions.
His hands moved to stroke up the small of Richard's back, and his eyes remained fixed on the crate. Now what would be in there that would line up with Richard's task?] No, the Council either targets crimes that are worthless and no issue, or for some, they target where they can hurt someone the most... to make them 'better people', I suppose.
[He looked at Richard again, considering.] So the Council must believe you've been your entire identity of your status then? Do you intend to ignore their requirement?
[Secrets were essential for men like them. Something that they would need to safeguard with everything they had, while also collecting secrets of others around them. Such were the rules of this game that they both played in their own worlds. So it was no wonder that trust was hard-earned and rare for them, never given freely.
Both Silco and Richard had been vulnerable before the other, offering glimpses to their past and hurt -- sacrificing bits and pieces of their secrets. But never the full picture. There wasn't a moment when Richard believed that he might have figured out Silco's deal or trusted his lover to lay himself fully bare before him. And that was fine. There was still a lot that Silco didn't know about him.
Though some of that was about to be corrected tonight.
With a quiet hum, Richard withdraws away from his lover and stands back up, walking to the table to marvel at the crate once again.] My father once set out to correct the wrongs in our land. With him he brought about a great storm, like no one else had seen before. Shaking the rule of our nation. [It's the beginning of a story that Richard had told Silco so many times before. The one about his father's noble and beautiful spirit. However, this time he took it to different direction.]
After his death my eldest brother, Edward, continued the battle. He blew more wind to the storm, brought upon red clouds that would rain blood. I was there with him, of course. Fought the battles with him and retrieved the light from where it had once been stolen. I believed it to be only just. Everyone did so, too. All but one..
[Richard places his hand once again on top of the crate, carefully caressing it, eyes full of reminiscing sadness. That's right. Edward was the rightful king. No one else would dare to think otherwise. No one but one soul, the one who had always looked at Richard's direction.] The man whom you call my 'lover.' He is the only one who had the audacity to dream of something much more.
[Some time ago, he had been a weak man who had been played. Now he liked to think that he was far more alert to such antics; he was better prepared to know what Richard was capable of now that he had let the younger man in to be close to him. And perhaps it was par for the course that everyone he let close tried or succeeded in killing him.
He remained where he was as Richard weaved a new version of the tale of his father, and he had assumed that the man was a usurper. If anything, that fact earned a touch of respect from him, especially when a man dragged an entire family, city and country into that mess. It was not far off of his own rise.
His gaze shifted between Richard and the crate in question, and as the tale moved forward, his mind was deciding what was going to be in that box. There had been enough talk of that circle of light to him that he narrowed it down to two possibilities: Richard's father's head or the crown the man had been seeking and Richard had also taken from his own bloodkin.]
How scandalous. Someone thinking third in line for the throne is the best choice and working to provide such an outcome. [That's how succession worked by his measure and the books he had read.] He needed you to accomplish that audacity though; you share blood with the King.
[To call the actions of Richard's father one of usurper's is not far from the truth, no matter how Yorks tried to rationalize it with bloodlines and divine rights. And Richard, himself, for sure was one - stealing the light away from the his own family and painting his nephews as nothing but false prophets. Poor children born from own woman' wickedness.
But just like always. When the topic shifted to his father the smartest thing one could do is tread carefully or remain quiet.]
Heh.. [A soft, melancholic laughter leaves from Richard, his eyes still seeing nothing but the crate on the desk.] But I was not third in the line. I was as far as away from the crown as he was. Yet.. He chose me rather than himself. Even after finding out the truth about me.. He still stood by my side. [Buckingham also could have had a claim for the throne, even if it was not nearly as strong or obvious as Richard's. But surely a cunning man like him would have turned black into white and vice versa if he so truly wanted.
Richard then turned to look up from the crate, eyes landing on the other man still sitting on the couch.] Why do you think he choose to do something like that?
[See, this was why he would never actually understand lines of succession without intensive study first. That was a tree that came with gnarly branches that didn't make sense to him, and there was probably the ability to shoehorn oneself into that line somehow. It seemed convoluted and pointless.
The only truth he knew was this: life was limited by what a person could do and what they couldn't do. What they couldn't do depended on the strength of will to achieve it; even though with higher superiority could be torn from their perch with enough planning, resources and time.
His gaze moved to the crate again, clear that Richard was intent to keep that secret for himself. As curious as he was, he didn't claim to be invested in someone else's punishment set down by the Council. So far, whatever the consequences, Richard seemed to the weathering them well enough.
He shifted where he sat slightly, crossing one leg over the other.] I wouldn't dare presume the motivations of this man. [He could make educated guesses, of course, but Richard was fiercely protective of those he was in love with. He assumed similar reactions to the father might be upheld with the lover.] Why do you believe he choose you over himself? Surely you have an idea.
[Silco was right, of course. It was foolish to ask from the man about the workings of his kingmaker, especially when they had never met. It just happened that more often than not, his lover tended to remind Richard of the one left behind at his come. There had been so many times when he could hear the older man speaking Buckingham's words at him, looking at him with similar intensity within that damaged gaze.
But they were not the same. And in the end Silco held more differences than similarities with Richard's other half. It was something he knew, of course. But during a moment of a weakness he could lose the sign of that.]
I once asked him. He did not answer me. [It had been the first time Richard had ever seen the other man lost at words. But, just like with everything, he had accepted it. Once his own forbidden desires and lust had been forced out in the daylight Richard had simply nodded and followed Buckingham's plan, only once voicing out the questions lingering in his mind: Why.
Richard then turns his softened gaze at Silco and extends his injured hand out to him towards the couch.]
[There had been a few mentions and a description of the man, but Silco was of the opinion that neither he nor Buckingham would enjoy one's company all that much. He expected that the other lover was using Richard, but to what end, he didn't know as he wasn't aware of all the rules and situations of the game that they apparently were playing.
All he knew was that the crown and the power that came with it was the end goal. How they went about it, the necessary plans and associations were beyond him. All he knew was that if the lover arrived here, he would step back as he expected Richard would prefer the other. Perhaps that might change with time. Who knew.]
They say that no answer is still an answer, but it is up to us to determine what the silence verifies.
[He reached out to take Richard's hand when it was offered, uncrossing his legs so that he could rise to his feet and gaze upon this object which had captured his lover's attention. Now how the Council would use it was another matter entirely. He made a point of slipping his other arm around the small of Richard's back as he came to look at the crate more closely.]
[The burnt fingers curl around Silco's hand, gently pulling him closer. And even when they're both standing before the crate Richard doesn't move immediately to open it. Instead he takes a quiet moment to sort out his feelings, running the healthy palm over the top of the wood.
Richard had shared vulnerable moments and secrets to Silco before. Opening his body to the other man, telling him about the forest where his mother left him, Joan and the tale of his father's death. And yet this made him feel the most raw and defenseless around the man, as if he was just about to let his lover in the most guarded secret of the world. And maybe in a way he was. Everything he had done, everything that he was - they all cultivated into this sole object.
There's soft-spoken sorrow in Richard as he finally twisted the small metallic lock on the crate, opening the lid. At first, they can only see a dark blue cloth. Richard reaches to pull it aside and.
There it was. ]
.. My father's crown. [Richard whispers as he looks at the golden headpiece in front of them. The circle of light, the key to paradise. Of which bards and poets would sing about. What his father had died for.
However, the sorrow in him is quickly placed with anger. It twists his expression into a hateful grimace, making him to bare his teeth. No matter how much he looked at it he simply could not see the light. There was no divine within the crown presented to him, only emptiness. The sheer mockery, one that he would liken to blasphemy and crime, made his blood boil. Oh, how he wished to take up his weapons, and slaughter every living creature in this world, tear it all apart until he found the cursed ai.]
The council wants me to set it aside. They want me to refuse my father's legacy! [The words are hissed out between his teeth. Clearly Silco ought to understand why Richard can't comply with the request ]
[There was a patience that came with age but also with years of waiting and watching for unique opportunities. This was a moment where he simply stood next to Richard and waited, aware that this moment would be one of great importance to the younger man. He had already spied how Richard had reacted with a simple brush of his fingers over the crate.
Now was not the time for hasty action. No, he turned his head and watched Richard rather than the crate, and he was not disappointed with the complex emotions that paraded across the younger man's expression even as the metal lock was opened and the crate open.
Slowly, he turned his mismatched eyes onto the item that Richard had hedged his future on, the item that the entire family had gone to war over. It was... impressive, he supposed. From a metal work and gemstone perspective, it was glamourous and sparkled even sitting peacefully in the blue velvet. He had never been up close to a crown before, and he held off even daring to lean forward to examine it. The price such an item could fetch in Zaun was significant.]
And now your crown or will be soon, yes?
[He returned his gaze to Richard, watching the emotions twist the younger man's face. Now if only they could direct that rage towards the Council completely, not that it would matter as he wasn't convinced any longer that the Council itself had any manner of physical bodies. Still, he tightened his grip around Richard's back.]
Of course they would. They believe they are doing what is best when they clearly don't understand what such an item means to you and you family. The battles engaged, the blood spilt, the lives lost in obtaining. Have you noticed any ill effects thus far in refusing to renounce it?
no subject
His finger lifted away from the round trigger, resting next to it. He watched Richard with both eyes, though the anticipation of his medication pending and the usual pain associated with it did cause his mutilated eye to flick around.]
Put your thumb in the loop of metal my finger just left and push downwards to discharge the needle.
no subject
There certainly was something very intimate in this moment. Private and personal, somehow managing to push beyond the most of times they've spend together in the sheets. Just like when Richard had entrusted his own body in Silco's hands, Silco was now entrusting this to Richard's.
A brief yet heavy moment passes, Richard's mismatched eyes look into Silco's blue eye -- trying to read whatever unspoken emotion there might be. Then, he turns his focus back on the device. He counts to three in his head, trusting that his lover knows to braze himself, and pulls the trigger.]
cw: ophthalmic treatments
It felt uniquely personal to let Richard into a part of his life that, no matter how brief it was to accomplish, was done quiet and obscured from the regular persona he put forward. He waited, thinking Richard might not feel comfortable enough with the device or his instructions to perform the action necessary.
Then the trigger was pulled and the needle discharged sharply, plunging through his cornea to administer Shimmer into the globe of his eye. He jerked and snarled as pain caused his hands to momentarily tremble and his fingers to flex, drawing his face away from the cool metal as purple overflow slid down his cheek. Shimmer almost instantly healed the injection site, and he lifted a hand to wipe away the excess, a sharp breath of air leaving him as he slowly sank back into the couch.
The aching burn of his mutilated eye receded as his medication took effect and slowly the tightness across his shoulders relaxed.]
...better, thank you.
cw: ophthalmic treatments
The single purple tear catches Richard's attention immediately. He remembers Jinx's unnatural tears and blood back from the hot springs when he had cut her leg. Did everyone from Zaun carry the color of dusk in their veins?
Richard lowers the device and straightens his back, waiting for Silco to gather himself backup again and recover from the treatment. And as the tension fades from the other man's body and he gains some of his usual posture, Richard leans back in. The healthy fingers reach to grab on his lover's chin to tip it back just so that he could place a kiss on the darkened, mottled skin.]
What was that?
no subject
Instead, one hand moved to take the injector from his lover to free up that other hand too. His blue eye closed at the mixed sensation of the kiss on his scarred skin. As usual, the nerve damage prevented him from a full range of sensation to the area, but it was no longer aching for the moment either.]
It's a medicine unique to my city. At small doses, it's completely medicinal and is likely the only reason I still live. [He sighed and turned his head so that he could rest his forehead against Richard's temple.] I have to inject the medication every few days.
no subject
We don't have anything like that in my world. [Or so he thinks? Richard's hardly a medical expert. The only time he's ever even had a doctor to examine his body was from the time before he could remember. The people attending to his mother during his birth had taken a look at him to see that he indeed was fully functioning and well. After that? He had tended to his injuries on his own.]
It appeared to be painful to you. [And to think that his lover had to do this more than once a week. But that was the price one had to pay to stay alive. The pain itself, was a way to survive in the world. He and Silco were the same on that regard.
An idea sprung to his mind. A morbid curiosity of sorts. Richard let go of his lover's face so that he could reach and pull off the glove from his other arm, revealing the now familiar burn.
Then, he withdrew so that he could offer his injured arm to the other man.]
Show me what it's like.
no subject
Hmm, well I doubt many medications are injected directly into the eye in most worlds. [The only way that it worked was because Shimmer healed injuries so quickly. A drop of it could help heal some life threatening injuries. Still, his eye was unique, which was why he played so heavily into it. Every time he injected it, he was reminded of the choice of that day.] Not taking it would be much worse in terms of pain.
[He offered Richard a closer inspection of the dispenser even as his other hand remained on his lover's hip. His thumb caressed the swell of the hip even as his eyes moved to regard the burnt hand as it was revealed.]
You wish to experience it? The dosages is for my eye, so it may not have much effect on your arm. [He had stronger concentrations, of course.] It will sting regardless. You're certain?
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Unless you can turn back time there is nothing you can do to return this arm of mine to its previous form. It was a conscious choice and sacrifice I made that day, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I would be closer to my goal. [Richard states, voice filled with confidence and reassurance. The burn had gotten somewhat better after some time, yes. The skin was no longer glaring angry red and there had been some relief to the pain, yes. But the skin was still beyond saving: mottled with dark and red patches, damaged nerve endings here and there which created jarring and awkward sensations, skin too tight that it pulled back with his each movement.
It was not a pretty sight, no. But Richard refused to regret his choice to mutilate his own body. It had all been for the sake of the crown - which was now sitting in the room with them, not too far away.]
I can take it. I want to know what it is like.
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And now more than ever, he appreciated that Richard did not regret the mutilation. Scars like theirs should be worn with pride, weaponized against their enemies so that no one could feel like they could call into question their motives or actions. He couldn't hide his scar even if he wanted to save for make-up now and again; these days and especially with Richard, he went without.
His hand gave one last squeeze before leaving his lover's hip to take that burn scarred hand and leveling it out flat. He brought the injector up, giving it a few side-to-side motions to resuspend the Shimmer held in the vial stored within and then set the needle guard to the top of Richard's guard.] I know you can. The pain will be sharp, but then it will ebb away and should leave a warmth and perhaps some muscle twitching as it absorbs.
[That's all the description that he would give on the matter, as his index finger found the trigger and pressed it so the needle discharged down into Richard's hand, breaking skin and injecting a small amount of Shimmer. He waited to see what the younger man would do with the sensation. Perhaps it would help a little with any pain or tightness in the skin around that area?]
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He, too, preferred to look forward to the future.
Richard lowers his gaze to look at his hand in Silco's. He nods briefly, as a sign that he understood Silco's words and what he was getting into. And with just that, he heard the the "click" as the trigger was pulled.
The needle pierced through the layers of his skin, plunging into his muscle. The pain was sharp, just like Silco had warned him, and enough to make Richard jolt. It reminded him vaguely from the gratin pain that would come when one hits the nerves on their elbow on the corner of a table or so. Richard grits his teeth together and hisses as the pain rushes through his body, making him spasm little. His hand twitches, and Richard tries to close his hand in a fist but fails as the muscles do not want to listen to him.
But then it was over, just as fast as it had began. The pain fades, leaning a faint itching sensation where the needle had pierced the skin. There is a similar purple tear oozing out of puncture wound. Richard brings his other hand to rub at the spot, feeling near immediate relief.
It hadn't been too bad of an experience. But he can only imagine what it'd be like to have it injected on something as sensitive as an eye.]
Your daughter's blood had the same color as this one. [He states. Which could only mean that she, too, needed to take the same medicine. Except in much larger doses. Maybe more than she should. The wine had driven George mad, so who knows? Maybe abusing this was what made Jinx the way she was.
Well whatever, Richard wasn't in the mood of thinking about here any more than that.]
What is it called?
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Once the injection was complete, he removed the injector and took it apart as his lover inspected the site. He set the two parts next to him on the couch, appreciating having his hands free as he leaned back against the couch and watched Richard. He made a noise of acknowledgement to the statement about his daughter's blood.]
She nearly died before coming here. A higher concentration variant was utilized to save her life. It does have certain long term effects to the body, but it's better than death.
[Of course, the drug had made her mentally unstable, making bad worse for a time. It had cost him his life in return not long after. That was not a story he and Richard needed to explore again.]
Shimmer. Those of my world have few good opinions of it. Like all things, it has its uses.
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Richard hummed thoughtfully, remembering Silco mentioning something about Jinx arriving on death's doorstep before and going for drastic measures to save her life. So, this was it? A part of him thinks that it might have been greater mercy to let the girl just die, if that was the case - he couldn't even begin to fathom what it must be like to live with the shimmer running in her veins, tainting her blood and tears. But then again, he can't fault the man for wanting to save the girl with all he got. From what he had gathered, Jinx was 'the light' to Silco.
Meanwhile Richard's is...]
In any case, it is a fortune that you have it here with you. I can't have you dying on me just yet. [He says, a teasing grin tugging the corners of his lips as he reached to grab his discarded glove.] What did you have in your mind for tonight? It almost seems like you were preparing for quiet night inside. [The novel and whiskey had not gone amiss. ]
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He would do whatever was necessary for his goals. There, here and everywhere. However, that wasn't talk for today, especially now that his eye and the surrounding scarred flesh was feeling as normal as it could again. He didn't want the distraction tonight.]
No? How fortunate for me that you value my life so deeply. [The corner of his lip tugged in a faint smile. Much like Richard, the number of people that wanted him dead were many. It was pleasant to feel wanted, even in jest.] I suppose that depends what's in that surprise crate that you lugged over here. Do I get to know the contents, or is it here to tease me with mystery? Otherwise...
[He reached up to cup the side of Richard's face with a hand, stroking his thumb beneath the younger man's eye.] Jinx will be away for at least two weeks, so you're... welcome to stay here.
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Richard turns his eyes briefly back to the crate when Silco mentions it again, his full attention directed at it. Though, once he feels the warm hand against his face, thumb caressing his skin, he brings his focus back at his lover. The idea of just two of them without any third wheels bothering them did sound nice, bringing warmth to Richard's chest.
Then, closing his eyes Richard leaned in and pressed his lips against Silco's, trapping them both in a brief but hungry kiss.]
It is a gift from our rulers. [He says and withdraws back from the kiss.] I was summoned by the council.
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He would miss his daughter, and while he was against her leaving the city for such pitiful task, he also wasn't going to stop her. This was the path she wanted to walk, and he did wonder if she was escaping the city to avoid some of the responsibilities of INX. That came with all leadership; some came back, some did not. Still, with her away, he did wonder how much time he and Richard would spend together as he had no commitments on his time such as breakfast or dinner.
A little sigh left him as their lips met, and he responded similarly to the kiss as his hand moved to cup the back of Richard's head. That hunger was apparent, and he had no doubt it would turn into something sooner than later.
Yet, his head tilted as Richard withdrew and mentioned their overlords. Interesting. He eyed the crate with even more curiosity, sliding his hand down the back of his lover's neck.] So you were forced to endure their version of sentencing. Mine did not come with a physical object. What did they demand of you?
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Richard's not entirely sure where to begin with the tale. To admit that he had been lying to Silco all of this time? Keeping part of his own legacy hidden? Just how far the dark ambitions of this demon would go. Well.. Guess it's best to start with the basics.]
I was tasked with denouncing the importance of status. And finding value in my own identity. [He then scoffed a light laughter.] Ridiculous, is it not? It seems that the council only aims to make mockery of us.
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He would admit that he didn't even know what crime Richard had been charged with upon arrival. He hadn't revealed his own of course, considering it a mockery of what he was capable of and the acts he had done for the sake of his city and ambitions.
His hands moved to stroke up the small of Richard's back, and his eyes remained fixed on the crate. Now what would be in there that would line up with Richard's task?] No, the Council either targets crimes that are worthless and no issue, or for some, they target where they can hurt someone the most... to make them 'better people', I suppose.
[He looked at Richard again, considering.] So the Council must believe you've been your entire identity of your status then? Do you intend to ignore their requirement?
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Both Silco and Richard had been vulnerable before the other, offering glimpses to their past and hurt -- sacrificing bits and pieces of their secrets. But never the full picture. There wasn't a moment when Richard believed that he might have figured out Silco's deal or trusted his lover to lay himself fully bare before him. And that was fine. There was still a lot that Silco didn't know about him.
Though some of that was about to be corrected tonight.
With a quiet hum, Richard withdraws away from his lover and stands back up, walking to the table to marvel at the crate once again.] My father once set out to correct the wrongs in our land. With him he brought about a great storm, like no one else had seen before. Shaking the rule of our nation. [It's the beginning of a story that Richard had told Silco so many times before. The one about his father's noble and beautiful spirit. However, this time he took it to different direction.]
After his death my eldest brother, Edward, continued the battle. He blew more wind to the storm, brought upon red clouds that would rain blood. I was there with him, of course. Fought the battles with him and retrieved the light from where it had once been stolen. I believed it to be only just. Everyone did so, too. All but one..
[Richard places his hand once again on top of the crate, carefully caressing it, eyes full of reminiscing sadness. That's right. Edward was the rightful king. No one else would dare to think otherwise. No one but one soul, the one who had always looked at Richard's direction.] The man whom you call my 'lover.' He is the only one who had the audacity to dream of something much more.
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He remained where he was as Richard weaved a new version of the tale of his father, and he had assumed that the man was a usurper. If anything, that fact earned a touch of respect from him, especially when a man dragged an entire family, city and country into that mess. It was not far off of his own rise.
His gaze shifted between Richard and the crate in question, and as the tale moved forward, his mind was deciding what was going to be in that box. There had been enough talk of that circle of light to him that he narrowed it down to two possibilities: Richard's father's head or the crown the man had been seeking and Richard had also taken from his own bloodkin.]
How scandalous. Someone thinking third in line for the throne is the best choice and working to provide such an outcome. [That's how succession worked by his measure and the books he had read.] He needed you to accomplish that audacity though; you share blood with the King.
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But just like always. When the topic shifted to his father the smartest thing one could do is tread carefully or remain quiet.]
Heh.. [A soft, melancholic laughter leaves from Richard, his eyes still seeing nothing but the crate on the desk.] But I was not third in the line. I was as far as away from the crown as he was. Yet.. He chose me rather than himself. Even after finding out the truth about me.. He still stood by my side. [Buckingham also could have had a claim for the throne, even if it was not nearly as strong or obvious as Richard's. But surely a cunning man like him would have turned black into white and vice versa if he so truly wanted.
Richard then turned to look up from the crate, eyes landing on the other man still sitting on the couch.] Why do you think he choose to do something like that?
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The only truth he knew was this: life was limited by what a person could do and what they couldn't do. What they couldn't do depended on the strength of will to achieve it; even though with higher superiority could be torn from their perch with enough planning, resources and time.
His gaze moved to the crate again, clear that Richard was intent to keep that secret for himself. As curious as he was, he didn't claim to be invested in someone else's punishment set down by the Council. So far, whatever the consequences, Richard seemed to the weathering them well enough.
He shifted where he sat slightly, crossing one leg over the other.] I wouldn't dare presume the motivations of this man. [He could make educated guesses, of course, but Richard was fiercely protective of those he was in love with. He assumed similar reactions to the father might be upheld with the lover.] Why do you believe he choose you over himself? Surely you have an idea.
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But they were not the same. And in the end Silco held more differences than similarities with Richard's other half. It was something he knew, of course. But during a moment of a weakness he could lose the sign of that.]
I once asked him. He did not answer me. [It had been the first time Richard had ever seen the other man lost at words. But, just like with everything, he had accepted it. Once his own forbidden desires and lust had been forced out in the daylight Richard had simply nodded and followed Buckingham's plan, only once voicing out the questions lingering in his mind: Why.
Richard then turns his softened gaze at Silco and extends his injured hand out to him towards the couch.]
Come and see.
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All he knew was that the crown and the power that came with it was the end goal. How they went about it, the necessary plans and associations were beyond him. All he knew was that if the lover arrived here, he would step back as he expected Richard would prefer the other. Perhaps that might change with time. Who knew.]
They say that no answer is still an answer, but it is up to us to determine what the silence verifies.
[He reached out to take Richard's hand when it was offered, uncrossing his legs so that he could rise to his feet and gaze upon this object which had captured his lover's attention. Now how the Council would use it was another matter entirely. He made a point of slipping his other arm around the small of Richard's back as he came to look at the crate more closely.]
Show me?
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Richard had shared vulnerable moments and secrets to Silco before. Opening his body to the other man, telling him about the forest where his mother left him, Joan and the tale of his father's death. And yet this made him feel the most raw and defenseless around the man, as if he was just about to let his lover in the most guarded secret of the world. And maybe in a way he was. Everything he had done, everything that he was - they all cultivated into this sole object.
There's soft-spoken sorrow in Richard as he finally twisted the small metallic lock on the crate, opening the lid. At first, they can only see a dark blue cloth. Richard reaches to pull it aside and.
There it was. ]
.. My father's crown. [Richard whispers as he looks at the golden headpiece in front of them. The circle of light, the key to paradise. Of which bards and poets would sing about. What his father had died for.
However, the sorrow in him is quickly placed with anger. It twists his expression into a hateful grimace, making him to bare his teeth. No matter how much he looked at it he simply could not see the light. There was no divine within the crown presented to him, only emptiness. The sheer mockery, one that he would liken to blasphemy and crime, made his blood boil. Oh, how he wished to take up his weapons, and slaughter every living creature in this world, tear it all apart until he found the cursed ai.]
The council wants me to set it aside. They want me to refuse my father's legacy! [The words are hissed out between his teeth. Clearly Silco ought to understand why Richard can't comply with the request ]
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Now was not the time for hasty action. No, he turned his head and watched Richard rather than the crate, and he was not disappointed with the complex emotions that paraded across the younger man's expression even as the metal lock was opened and the crate open.
Slowly, he turned his mismatched eyes onto the item that Richard had hedged his future on, the item that the entire family had gone to war over. It was... impressive, he supposed. From a metal work and gemstone perspective, it was glamourous and sparkled even sitting peacefully in the blue velvet. He had never been up close to a crown before, and he held off even daring to lean forward to examine it. The price such an item could fetch in Zaun was significant.]
And now your crown or will be soon, yes?
[He returned his gaze to Richard, watching the emotions twist the younger man's face. Now if only they could direct that rage towards the Council completely, not that it would matter as he wasn't convinced any longer that the Council itself had any manner of physical bodies. Still, he tightened his grip around Richard's back.]
Of course they would. They believe they are doing what is best when they clearly don't understand what such an item means to you and you family. The battles engaged, the blood spilt, the lives lost in obtaining. Have you noticed any ill effects thus far in refusing to renounce it?
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