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I've got nothing to do with it, but you should really get it out of the house. Not really an appropriate place for live pigs.

[Called from somewhere upstairs, and by the sounds of it he's made no effort to get up and move. He may not be seen, but the shitty grin in his voice can certainly be heard.]

[Great! He hates his stupid wooden son.

[The pig is kicked.]

Out. Get out.

[There indeed is a pig in your house, Eren! Like, do you have how cold it's outside? No one in their right mind would sleep there. Not even if they had a well-groomed fluffy coat on them.

Whitey is sniffing the floor around the couch, looking for any possible scraps as he explores his new surroundings. He briefly lifts his small head up to give the loud human a curious stare before going back to his search.

But then there's a kick.]

Meep!! [Whitey lets out a loud, surprised sound when the foot quickly moves to his direction. Luckily, he's pretty quick and agile so he manages to dodge the attack by quickly scrambling around the couch to the other side. He then casts Eren a very offended look. How rude]

Meep meep!

[????????

[Since when do pigs meep?!

[Eren's getting the broom.]

Oi! I said out!

[Smack smack.]

[So rude! What is this lack of hospitality??

Whitey grunts at the sight of the broom. At times like these he wishes he'd have his tusks to use for his defence. But, alas, he was blessed with timid and cowardly nature so he does what he always does at the sight of danger: runs away.

Except instead of the front door he makes an escape towards the stairs leading to the upstairs.]

No!

[Cue one fluffy pig being chased up the stairs. He's going to kill Scaramouche. He doesn't even think Scaramouche did it anymore, and he's still going to kill him, simply because he knows they'll thunder by his room and he won't lift a finger to come help.]

Who's pig are you?!

[Hah! Good luck, Eren Yeager. Whitey has a lifetime of experience when it comes to avoiding traps, poachers and soldiers! He'll give you a good run.

Though, unfortunately the farm house is pretty limited space and there's only so many places one small boar can escape to. So, sooner rather than later his luck runs out and he finds himself cornered against the wall.]

Meep! [Whitey turns around, boasts his front up as he tries to make himself look more intimating. Falling badly.]

[This is ridiculous. Eren is stronger than some damn pig, and he'd better be smarter too. The swine is cornered. Eren drops the broom and lunges to grab him.]

[Oh no. It seems like it's game over to him. Except Whitey sees a chance when the broom is dropped. He waits patiently, observing the Eren's body movements as he lowers his upper body. And! Just when he lunges forward Whitey uses his opportunity and tries to dash right under him, hoping that Eren will be left grabbing air or wallpaper instead of his soft fur.]

[Eren nearly falls on his face trying to wrangle a disappearing pig. He stumbles around and dashes after the beast, bloodlust rolling off of him in every direction.]

You're going to be my dinner.

[Ooops. This is getting really bad, huh. And here Whitey thought that Richard's friends were scary! He begins to squeal loudly in panic, as if he was already being cooked alive, as he dashes through the hallways. But with no other places to go, he runs back downstairs and surges behind the couch, trying to hide his snout underneath it]

[Eren rushes down the stairs after the pig, following his path into the living room and, with one deft movement and a strong arm, flipping the couch over on top of him. If it crushes him, so be it.]

[Luckily, Whitey, like all animals come with a plot armor. The couch gets flipped over and it's only by a miracle he survives it and ends up in the empty space between the backrest and cushions. ]

M-meep. [Whitey lets out a quiet, careful sound as he looks up at Eren with his small brown eyes. Have mercy!]

[Eren squats down to stare at the pig, trapped under the overturned couch. He should shoot it between the eyes.]

Are you a Dreamer? [It's too damn clever to be just any simple pig, or maybe Eren just has to tell himself that.]

I'm opening the back door. Get. Out.

M-meep? [Whitey blinks at the question. A dreamer? What does that mean? He has plenty of dreams, just like any other proper boar. Of green fields, forests, acorns and other treats. And the soft cushions next by the fireplace in the royal palace.

He squirms out of his trap, casts a brief look at the doors direction and then back up at Eren. Please do not kick him out, pretty please? It's cold outside.]

[He is getting kicked out. The back door is opened. Eren disappears into the kitchen for a moment and returns with an imposing knife.

[The couch is lifted.]

Go.

[Well! The knife definitely gets a reaction out of him. Whitey squeals loudly as the cool blade flashes in the light and instantly rushes out of the door. Message received, dude. ]

[Eren follows Whitey to the backdoor, closing it the moment he's out, and locking it for good measure. The other doors will be checked too. No pigs in his house.]

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