[He knew he was providing avoidance to the question. It was difficult to consider what he might lose, but also, it was easy to think he would walk away from them. After all, he had given up a life ambition for the freedom of Zaun for his daughter, so the idea that he would sever this dalliance for her as well was not unreasonable. She was his world after all, and he'd sooner see it burned around him rather than lose her.
However, Jinx was settling in, finding her own path with friends and ambition of her own that didn't come from a direction of him. She had friends, boyfriend even and now had a shop of her own. She had a revolution against the Council, which was more initiative than she had ever taken on such subjects. That made him nervous, of course. He and Jinx had a... ah, mildly co-dependent relationship.
He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't like someone, she would go out of her way to make life uncomfortable. Sevika tolerated it on his behalf and because he was so effective at pushing the undercity to independence, but he was keenly aware that Richard would not tolerate her antics. As a side-effect, he would be in the middle of any he-said-she-said battles that would inevitably form. It was such undercity political drama, but this wasn't the undercity.
He regarded Richard from where he stood, thoughts hidden behind a carefully schooled expression. They had never particularly defined what they were. It wasn't a problem except when it could be severing it. He told himself and his daughter this was nothing but sex, yet he could only lie to everyone for so long.
The corner of his lip twitched at the mention of desire, and he stepped backwards to lean against the wall. He crossed his arms across his bare chest, but he made certain to not break eye contact. It would seem like a lack of resolve on his part if he did, and he knew better than to show that kind of weakness.]
She's my daughter. I've given up my greatest ambition to keep her safe... [He didn't regret it, not now, not ever. He wasn't allowed to be selfish when he was the leader and a father.] I would burn my own world to the ground for her. Without question.
[He dropped his arms to his sides again, aware they were like a physical barrier between them. He even pushed off of leaning on the wall, unable to articulate the internal struggle of choosing something - someone - for himself over Jinx. He should be perfectly fine being alone; he had been without someone like Richard or... him for many years that it shouldn't be a difficult decision. He knew, ultimately, what Jinx was demanding without saying, and he had felt prickles of resentment. Even now, he was prickly about the idea of walking away even if he would.
He opened his mouth to continue and then closed it again, shaking his head. He took the two steps to close the distance between himself and Richard and lowered his forehead to rest against the younger man's scarred shoulder.] I want... whatever this is. I want you to someday trust me with some of your secrets, and... for me to trust you with some of mine. I cannot be perceived as betraying my daughter; she's what is important to me.
[He moved to wrap his arms around Richard's waist if the younger man would tolerate it. Why couldn't this - whatever it was - just be sex? Why was there something more to complicate everything?]
tl;dr
However, Jinx was settling in, finding her own path with friends and ambition of her own that didn't come from a direction of him. She had friends, boyfriend even and now had a shop of her own. She had a revolution against the Council, which was more initiative than she had ever taken on such subjects. That made him nervous, of course. He and Jinx had a... ah, mildly co-dependent relationship.
He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't like someone, she would go out of her way to make life uncomfortable. Sevika tolerated it on his behalf and because he was so effective at pushing the undercity to independence, but he was keenly aware that Richard would not tolerate her antics. As a side-effect, he would be in the middle of any he-said-she-said battles that would inevitably form. It was such undercity political drama, but this wasn't the undercity.
He regarded Richard from where he stood, thoughts hidden behind a carefully schooled expression. They had never particularly defined what they were. It wasn't a problem except when it could be severing it. He told himself and his daughter this was nothing but sex, yet he could only lie to everyone for so long.
The corner of his lip twitched at the mention of desire, and he stepped backwards to lean against the wall. He crossed his arms across his bare chest, but he made certain to not break eye contact. It would seem like a lack of resolve on his part if he did, and he knew better than to show that kind of weakness.]
She's my daughter. I've given up my greatest ambition to keep her safe... [He didn't regret it, not now, not ever. He wasn't allowed to be selfish when he was the leader and a father.] I would burn my own world to the ground for her. Without question.
[He dropped his arms to his sides again, aware they were like a physical barrier between them. He even pushed off of leaning on the wall, unable to articulate the internal struggle of choosing something - someone - for himself over Jinx. He should be perfectly fine being alone; he had been without someone like Richard or... him for many years that it shouldn't be a difficult decision. He knew, ultimately, what Jinx was demanding without saying, and he had felt prickles of resentment. Even now, he was prickly about the idea of walking away even if he would.
He opened his mouth to continue and then closed it again, shaking his head. He took the two steps to close the distance between himself and Richard and lowered his forehead to rest against the younger man's scarred shoulder.] I want... whatever this is. I want you to someday trust me with some of your secrets, and... for me to trust you with some of mine. I cannot be perceived as betraying my daughter; she's what is important to me.
[He moved to wrap his arms around Richard's waist if the younger man would tolerate it. Why couldn't this - whatever it was - just be sex? Why was there something more to complicate everything?]