[Silco was able to watch Richard withdraw more and more into himself that further this conversation went, pulling away not physically but in every other way. He expected it was a self-protective gesture, to hide in plain sight when put under scrutiny, and there were plenty of times when Richard's silence had been answer enough.
This was not it. As he watched the younger man curl into himself towards the fetal position, he found himself warring with reaction. On one hand, it was a statement of the trust they had built that he could pick out this vulnerability, but on the other, this weakness would damn whatever this was. He was all for games of the word, but he also was plainly straight-forward on certain topics and expected others who had earned his trust to do the same.
Yet, the claim of a sin actually earned a sharp noise from him, and he set his elbow to the mattress too push himself up to sit. He shifted so their bodies were close together without being in direct contact. He put his mouth close to Richard's hand covered ear.] What is sin but the declaration of someone standing from an ivory tower telling you that you aren't good enough? We are allowed to give into our desires; we are allowed to seek happiness and pleasure and fortune and knowledge.
You've forced me to do nothing that I don't enjoy.
[He shrugged his bare shoulders as if nonchalant about the idea of sin. Which ones? He valued loyalty over anything else, but he understood that everyone had an agenda and a limitation.
He tilted his head to meet Richard's gaze, leaning in so he could rest his chin on the younger man's shoulder.]
I still haven't told her. [So no, it hadn't changed.
It was, of course, only partial truth. There were more complex reasons beyond protecting Richard's bodily secrets. He wanted to; he wanted this; he was lonely even when in a room full of people; he wanted to protect them; he wanted to protect Jinx. On and on it went if he scratched to the deeper levels.]
no subject
This was not it. As he watched the younger man curl into himself towards the fetal position, he found himself warring with reaction. On one hand, it was a statement of the trust they had built that he could pick out this vulnerability, but on the other, this weakness would damn whatever this was. He was all for games of the word, but he also was plainly straight-forward on certain topics and expected others who had earned his trust to do the same.
Yet, the claim of a sin actually earned a sharp noise from him, and he set his elbow to the mattress too push himself up to sit. He shifted so their bodies were close together without being in direct contact. He put his mouth close to Richard's hand covered ear.] What is sin but the declaration of someone standing from an ivory tower telling you that you aren't good enough? We are allowed to give into our desires; we are allowed to seek happiness and pleasure and fortune and knowledge.
You've forced me to do nothing that I don't enjoy.
[He shrugged his bare shoulders as if nonchalant about the idea of sin. Which ones? He valued loyalty over anything else, but he understood that everyone had an agenda and a limitation.
He tilted his head to meet Richard's gaze, leaning in so he could rest his chin on the younger man's shoulder.]
I still haven't told her. [So no, it hadn't changed.
It was, of course, only partial truth. There were more complex reasons beyond protecting Richard's bodily secrets. He wanted to; he wanted this; he was lonely even when in a room full of people; he wanted to protect them; he wanted to protect Jinx. On and on it went if he scratched to the deeper levels.]